Nothing is Forever (2 page)

Aunty Blodwen came into the kitchen and flopped onto the old couch, looking incongruous in a frilly dress with a long skirt, most unsuitable for March, and furry slippers. The room was not what many would call a kitchen, with its scrubbed pine table and ill-matching cupboards, an armchair and couch, their faded covers hidden by cushions Ruth had made, and with a fire burning in the hearth winter and summer. In Ty Gwyn, the house that had been her parents’ and grandparents’ home, the rooms hadn’t been furnished, they had ‘just happened’.

‘They’re going to take up the rugs and dance when they’ve finished eating,’ Blodwen reported. ‘I don’t think you’ll have a very early night.’

‘Tommy and Toni will be leaving soon, they’re booked at an hotel for the night. The rest will leave soon after.’

‘Well that’s that, then,’ Aunty Blodwen said. ‘ You’ve been a wonderful sister to them all, darlin’, but our Tommy’s the last. The next wedding, will it be yours? You and Henry’s? Have you come to a decision at last or are you going to settle into middle age on your own?’

Ruth turned away to hide her frown, thinking of Henry and the proposals she had refused. ‘Let’s get this one over first, Aunty Blod.’

The wedding of her brother Tommy to Toni Gretorex had been a miserably small affair. Far less of an event than those of her other three brothers, Tommy and Toni deciding on a register office rather than a carefully planned wedding was as upsetting as the suddenness of it. Tommy and Bryn were twins and practically inseparable, and she was sure the reason for Tommy and Toni’s sudden wedding had been because a flat next to the one about to be rented by Bryn and Brenda had become available. Tommy had quickly taken on the tenancy and arranged the civil ceremony with hardly time to let everyone know. Toni had dealt with it efficiently and without telling Ruth, and the four had made their plans together. Ruth was still feeling the shock of their announcement and the hurt of not being involved in the decision and the plans.

Tommy and Bryn worked together, enjoying a variety of gardening jobs and travelling around the local farms doing seasonal work. Several farmers for whom they worked on occasions were here sharing the celebrations and had also added to the food on offer. The money wasn’t great, but Toni worked in a wool shop which would help. Brenda worked with Tommy and Bryn by keeping a note of their arrangements, and also worked at the farms doing housework during spring cleaning and at other busy times. She helped on a regular basis at the school, cleaning the kitchens after meals had been cooked. ‘Bits and bobs’, was how she described her occupation.

Despite the noise from the living-room, and the constant comings and goings as friends came in for more plates of food, she could already feel the house changing from a busy, noisy one, to a hollow shell. A too large house in which she would rattle. Henry hardly entered her thoughts. She wasn’t prepared for the sudden end to her busy life. With no one needing her, what would she do with the empty hours?

Since their parents had died of a flu epidemic when Ruth was only seventeen, she had looked after them all; four brothers and now, four sisters-in-law had all treated this as their home and the house had been filled every day with their friends, and now after ten years it was over, in less than a week.

Ruth had willingly given up the prospect of a career in hotel management to stay at home and keep the family together. Not a duty, but a joy. After all, it was her duty. It was the family home and had been for three generations. She gave a sigh, and tried to put thoughts of the empty house aside. There was a lot of noise coming from the living-room, conversations shouting above the music that was now playing. Ty Gwyn was filled with family and friends, mostly friends, people who had treated this place as a second home. To go from this to silence; how would she cope with that?

The bride and groom came through the door to the kitchen where she was putting the final touches to the plates of food still being collected and taken into the living-room, and she smiled.

That smile had been fixed to her face all day and her jaw ached with the effort. She was trying not to think of tonight, when all the guests were gone and she faced staying in the huge house on her own for the first time ever. Night time was a long way off and there was so much to do she told herself, that she would sleep as soon as she crawled in between the sheets.

Aunty Blodwen heaved herself out of the couch where she had been dozing and gave her a hug. ‘Can I ask a big, huge favour, darlin’ girl?’ she asked, her large brown eyes looking sorrowful.

‘Of course. Anything, Aunty Blod.’

‘Can I stay a few days next week? The workmen are coming to do some repairs and some decorating. Terrible hard it’ll be to stay there with them all buzzing about like flies.’

Trying not to show her relief, Ruth agreed. For those few days the house wouldn’t be completely empty. Looking forward to that would help in the days until then. But even so, the absence of her twin brothers and their wives would make her feel abandoned.

Guessing her thoughts, Blodwen said, ‘Don’t worry, Ruth love. They’ll be in and out so much you won’t realize they’ve gone.’

‘It went well considering I had so little time to arrange it, didn’t it?’ Ruth said. ‘It’s a pity they couldn’t have waited till food rationing had ended, mind. We could have had a big-huge spread then. It can’t be more than a few more months. Imagine that, Aunty Blod, going into a shop and asking for a whole pound of butter after managing on two ounces a week for so long.’

Aunty Blodwen looked thoughtful. ‘1954, almost nine years after the end of the war and we’re still rationed. I’m dreaming of buying a big-huge steak and eating the lot. But I doubt if I will, our stomachs must have shrunk after all these years.’

‘I suppose they couldn’t have waited,’ Ruth mused. ‘Tommy and Bryn are never happy apart, and a delay before the wedding might have lost them that flat. I wish they could have given me a bit more notice though.’

‘Sudden it was, and no mistake, and you were amazing, Ruth, darlin’, producing this spread. Strange it was such a rush job, mind,’ she added thoughtfully.

‘It was the flat. Once Tommy saw that place, right next to the one taken by Bryn and Brenda, there was nothing else to consider. You know what they’re like for being together, living together, working together and never a cross word.’

‘Just the flat? Yes,’ Blodwen said thoughtfully. ‘That’s why there was the rush, sure to be. But it had been empty for a while, mind. Perhaps there’s something we don’t know about.’

‘What d’you mean? We don’t have secrets.’

Blodwen’s face wrinkled in a comical frown. ‘I think it’s what Churchill said about Russia, “A riddle, wrapped up in a mystery inside a – whatsit.’

‘An enigma.’ Ruth finished for her. ‘What do you mean, Aunty? Where’s the mystery? They hate being separated, always have done since they were born.’

‘Yes, it was just the flat, you’re probably right.’

‘All the brothers married now and I feel abandoned,’ Ruth sighed, stacking the returned plates ready for washing. She smiled at the word, hoping it sounded like a joke. She was hardly abandoned, but that was how it would feel. After all the years of having the large family bounding through its rooms and narrow corridors the silence would be almost threatening. She pushed away the over-dramatic words and concentrated on filling more plates that were still being taken into the living-room.

Tommy stopped before picking up the plateful of sandwiches she had just prepared and gave her a hug.

‘Thanks, Sis. You’ve been wonderful and made this a very happy day.’

‘The first of many I hope,’ she replied, forcing the smile back on her face.

She wasn’t the only one facing changes. Tommy and Bryn and their wives were starting a new kind of life as different for them as her own would be and she guessed they, too, were apprehensive, especially Tommy’s Toni and Bryn’s wife, Brenda. The changes were greater for women: living here with her running the home, coming in from work to a tidy house with a meal waiting, the laundry done; then suddenly having to face it all themselves.

Men didn’t feel it as much as women. The men would come home from work and everything would be the same apart from their wives dealing things instead of their mother, or, she reminded herself, in this case, their sister. The newly wed wives hadn’t managed housekeeping budgets before, or had to plan meals on a small ration for two. Beds didn’t make themselves and washing had to be dried and ironed and put away. No, the changes for Toni and Brenda would be harder than those she faced. But that reminder didn’t make anticipation of the silent, empty house and the lonely days ahead any easier to bear. She shivered as she reminded herself of the few friends she had. Apart from Henry the people she knew were friends of Tommy and Bryn.

It had been such a shock to learn that the arrangements were all made. Toni hadn’t said a word until everything was in place. She’d have expected to deal with it as she had with Geraint and Emrys and Bryn. It hadn’t given her time to become accustomed to the idea of them leaving. Tommy marrying and moving out at the same time as Bryn and Brenda was the biggest shock. She thought that Tommy, like the others would have stayed at home for a while until they could afford to move out.

She kept telling herself that when they returned from honeymoon in Aberaeron, Tommy and Toni wouldn’t be coming back, they wouldn’t expect her to be waiting with their rooms ready and a meal prepared, but she still didn’t believe it, the thought was too distressing. At least Tommy and Bryn wouldn’t be separated, and she ought to be thankful for that. Besides, this being first time away from the family home and into their own places, she’d be needed, specially as all four were working.

‘Hi, Sis,’ Bryn said, as he helped himself to a piece of the fatless sponge cake she was about to take into the living-room. ‘Thanks for everything you’ve done. Toni and our Tommy are very grateful.’

The word ‘grateful’ was hurtful. It was too formal, the sort of thing he’d say to a stranger who had done some kind deed. But she forced a smile. ‘It’s been a pleasure, Bryn, you know that. I’ve only done for Tommy and Toni what I did for the rest of you.’

‘You will be all right, won’t you?’ Brenda asked, walking in behind him. ‘I know you’ll find it strange, the four of us going, we’ve been such a noisy houseful.’

‘Of course. I’ll be fine.’

Tommy came in then and sat at the large pine table where so many meals had been eaten, the family filling the place with chatter, and arguments and laughter – she particularly remembered the laughter.

‘Anyway,’ she went on, ‘Aunty Blodwen is staying for a few days next week, and until then I’ll be so busy clearing everything away after you lot, I won’t miss you at all. And you’ll be back at the end of the week. And Bryn and Brenda will be popping in until then.’

The brothers glanced at each other. ‘No, they won’t,’ Tommy said. ‘They’re coming with us.’

‘On your honeymoon?’ She laughed then. ‘I can’t believe you are all going to Aberaeron together. It’s your honeymoon,’ she said with emphasis. ‘How were you persuaded to invite two more along?’

‘Easy; it’s a walking holiday and Bryn’s better at map-reading.’

‘I give up on you two,’ Ruth said, with her first genuine laugh for days.

The party was getting louder with extra guests still arriving, some invited and others with the excuse of bringing a gift or a card. Music was played on the gramophone for dancing in the large living-room. Ruth left them and went upstairs to start sorting out the chaos caused by the preparations for the wedding. Tommy’s room was a mess. It had been used by Tommy and Toni to change out of their wedding clothes into casual attire ready to leave on their honeymoon. Besides clothes strewn across the bed and in heaps on the floor, there were torn and crumpled pieces of wrapping paper and string, cards opened and abandoned. Spilled make-up made crazy patterns on the window sill. She sighed with a mixture of despair and almost humorous acceptance. Her family certainly kept her busy: at least, it had until today, when everything would suddenly and frighteningly change.

Her other two brothers, Geraint and Emrys had stayed the previous night with their wives Hazel and Susan. In Emrys’s and Susan’s room, again clothes were thrown carelessly over the bed and an assortment of make-up was spread over the dressing-table. Shoe boxes and handbags were piled on the bed as though Susan couldn’t decide which to use until the last moment.

Geraint’s and Hazel’s room was neat and the bed was stripped, the sheets piled ready for washing. Apart from the used bedding, nothing was out of place; it was as though the room hadn’t been used. Ruth found this sadder than the chaos of the other rooms. Geraint’s wife was so organized it made her feel utterly redundant when she was around. While she knew that was how it should be, and knew she was being stupid, it still hurt. She loved being the organized one; loved being needed.

Toni’s parents, and Geraint and Hazel and a few friends left at seven o’clock, having to drive back to London. Others, mainly people Ruth didn’t know, stayed on. The intention was for the party to go on until ten o’clock and then the happy couple would go to an hotel for the night ready to leave for their honeymoon the following morning. Unbelievably, Bryn and Brenda were staying at the hotel too. But with Bryn and Tommy, plans had a habit of changing.

At one o’clock, when the party had become more subdued but showed little sign of ending, dancing had ceased and party games were in progress. An hour later, Tommy and Toni had locked themselves in Tommy’s bedroom and Bryn and Brenda were sleeping in what was still their bedroom. Two friends she hadn’t met before slept on the settee in the living-room and another in an armchair. Two local young farmers for whom the twins regularly worked, had announced it wasn’t worth going home to bed, having to rise so early, were wrapped in blankets on the floor.

Someone else she didn’t know came and told her that Aunty Blod was a bit merry. She had sung a few songs, attempted a dance and was now fast asleep. ‘Merry’, the euphemism for drunk, didn’t alarm her. It was a wedding after all and Aunty Blod knew how to celebrate. Gently she lifted her behind the open door of the hall cupboard into which she had gradually slid, half hidden by coats.