Nothing But Time (32 page)

But she could do them with Brand
, her inner self argued. 
All the things you ever wanted, wouldn’t sharing them with Brand make them all better?

Yea
h
, right
, she argued back. 
If he loved her back, but he didn’t. 
Besides,
he was still an earl and she was nothing.  Nobody.  Even if he did…

Her other half couldn’t argue with that.

Kate would wager that a marriage between a commoner and an earl in this time and place would be an even bigger deal than Prince William marrying his own Kate in hers.  High society in the
twenty-first
century could hardly be called loose and from what she had seen of the guests present for the house par
ty and those at the regatta, up-
tight took on a whole new meaning here.

Even if Brand wanted to, he probably wouldn’t or couldn’t and, when it boiled right down to it, Kate knew she would say
‘
no
’
to spare him from the scandal that would go along with such a shocking move.  But where did that leave her?  As a lover?  A mistress?  Would Brand
rethink their previous conversation and
offer to set her up in a nice little house somewhere and keep her for weekends and holidays?

Could Kate even accept such a
n
arrangement?

Kate Kallastad: Kept Woman.

She shuddered with revulsion.  She
had
not
spent
countless hours buried in her studies to sweep it all aside and be
some
man’s plaything!  Even if that man was Brandon Ryder.

A melting feeling ran through Kate and the tension released.  God, she was full of crap!  Kate laughed at herself with a shake of her head.  Who was she kidding?  For a man like Brandon Ryder, there was probably an exception to everything she
thought she would never
sacrifice for a mere male.  Being his lover, sharing his life didn’t necessarily exclude any personal achievement on her part.  It wouldn’t mean a life of waiting at a window watching for his return.  She could begin her own research here, help cure the ills found in this time and share her triumphs and downfall with a man who she loved and respected.

There was an achy pressure in her chest Kate had never felt before.  It radiated outward down her limbs and tightened her throat.  Love, she realized.  She really did love him, loved him enough to change her entire life plan to
rebuild it around him.

How wonderful!

How terrifying!

Ther
e were few things Kate had ever
attempted that
ended in failure
.  Hard work and determination had won her
nearly
every prize she’d tried for.  Helped her achieve every goal. 
However,
this was different.  Never had she wanted something so out of her reach before.  Never had she sought to achieve something where the odds were stacked so heavily against her. 

What would she do if she failed? 

What would she do if Brand didn’t feel the same about her?

“Kate!”  She looked up to find Nan hurrying toward her.  The woman’s face was flush
ed
with excitement and
wreath
ed with smiles.

“Hey, Nan, what’s up?” she asked curiously.

“Since most of the guests are leaving after the final races, Mrs. Hendricks has given the upstairs staff the rest of the day off to attend the fair in Henley!”

“Wow!” Kate said in surprise.  “Who spiked her tea?”

“It is just too unbelievable, isn’t it?” Nan gushed.  “It’s probably only because she knows that we will have to
work hard
tomorrow to put the house back to rights.  We’ve all been looking for you.  Some of the footmen have offered to escort us
to T
he Row Barge
and treat us to a pint
.  Would you like to come along?  It should be great fun!”

Kate looked around for Brand, for Susan or for Nathan and saw them walking arm in arm across the bridge toward the Leander Club.  Surely, she shouldn’t be shirking her duties to run off and play, but wait!  Did she even have duties any longer?  Brand had said she would be answerable to him, Susan or their mother, after all.  If Mrs. Ryder fired her, would it stick or would Brand countermand it?

In that moment, giv
en the haranguing she’d just received
combined with the epiphany she’d had regarding her feelings, Kate knew that she wasn’t ready to face Brand
and find out.  F
ear
and trepidation were
jangling her nerves.  She was confused and uncertain what to do. 
Finally,
she understood what emotion might drive one to drink.  She couldn’t think of
anything more wonderful in that moment than a
pint
to settle her nerves.  “
I’d love to come along!  A
fter the day I’ve ha
d, I could use a drink or two.”

The Row Barge
Inn

Later that night

“Hey, Brand!” Kate slurred
,
waving her tankard in a high arc as Harrowby approached the table.  “What up?”

Harrowby hid
his shock at the state
in which
he
’d
found Kate.
 
After one of the footmen delivered a message to explain Kate’s disappearance from the regatta, i
t hadn’t been until he returned home late that afternoon that he had heard from his sister of Kate’s impromptu evening off. 
Initially
,
he’d been surprised that she would go off
at all
, what with the last of the guests leaving and allowing them more time alone together.  He
had
anticipat
ed
a repeat of the previous evening all day.
  Finding her now in such a situation nearly left him at a loss for words.  “Whatever are you about, Miss Kallastad?” he asked sternly.

“Relax, baby.  I’m just hanging with my girls!” she answered
,
lifting the drink to take another deep swallow as she slung an arm around Marta’s shoulder and hugged the maid to her.  “These are
my
girls.  Have you met?  M
arta, Nan and Mary.  And that’s…
” Kate snapped her fingers a couple
of times, seemingly
trying to recall the names of the others at the table.  “Oh, Jessica and Andrew and Jacob and… and… dude, I totally forgot your name.”

Dude?
 
“Miss Kallastad!” Harrowby broke into Kate’s drunken rambling before spreading his cold glare to those around the table.  “What is the meaning of this?”

“I’m so sorry, my lord.
”
A
nervous Marta finally spoke up as she stood.  “I don’t know what to make of
it
at all.  She hasn’t had much to drink
, just two or three pints, but I gather she isn’t used to the strength of the ale.
  She called herself a ‘light weight’ though I’m not entirely certain what that means.
”

“
It means s
he’s drunk.”

“Very much so, my lord,” Marta confirmed before adding, “She hadn’t been unruly at all, my lord, in fact she was ever so much fun until…”

Until Harrowby had walked in.  The earl read the implication very clearly.  What was going on here?  Kate had been
all
affection and teasing that morning before disappearing after his race. 
He had wondered
what duties might call her away
but hadn’t
worried overmuch
. 
However, he had expected her back at
Ramble House
to spend the evening with him.  The longer he waited the more worried he became.  Something was wrong.  What, he had no idea. 

F
earing some tragedy
, he
spent
anxious
hours
searching
for her in nearly e
very pub Henley had to offer
.  W
hen he finally tracked her down
, he
certainly hadn’t expected to find her so
deep in her
cups
. 

What was going on
? 
Kate didn’t seem to be the type to imbibe heavily… at least
, not
without cause.  Had something happened?  Did she regret the previous night and was drowning her lamentations in drink?  With the events of the day and constant company they’d been in, Harrowby had had no chance to speak privately with her at all.  He wanted to ask the members of his staff gathered around the table all those things, wanted to wring answers from their necks or Kate’s.

However, he could
not make a display of his concern.  His only true option was to portray the aggrieved employer, to show dismay at the state
in which he had found
his nephew’s tutor.  Harrowby ground his teeth in frustration.  This wasn’t how it should be.  He couldn’t even take Kate by the shoulders and shake some sense back into
her
much less take her up in his arms to express the relief he felt merely at finding her in one piece.

Less than a day as would-be lovers and he was already dissatisfied with their arrangement.

A sane man would accept that even attempting an affair with a member of his staff in the first place had smacked of madness.  A reasonable man would wash his hands of the entire situation, but that man had disappeared in the past week
and was replaced by one who wanted to shout his growing affection for this unusual woman to the world. 
This man
wanted to sweep his tipsy lass into his arms and carry her away from here… carry her away from the world around them.

“We can take her back home if you like, my lord,” Nan spoke up, breaking the
tense
silence that had descended over the amicable crowd at the tavern since his arrival.

Harrowby sighed
, pushing away the irrational urges within and squared his shoulders nobly
.  “No need to interrupt your evening off.  I will see my nephew’s tutor safely home.  Come along, Miss Kallastad
, Nathan is awaiting you
.”

Kate rotated her head up to look at him as he gripped her elbow to lift her from the chair.  “Did you know he…” Kate pointed to one of the men at the table then to another, “No,
he
called
me a spinster?  A spinster!  I mean W
…
T
…
F!  I’m only twenty-f
our
years old for Pete’s sake!  Spinster!”
Kate nearly choked on the archaic word.

“I’m sure they’ll call you any number of things after your behavior this evening,” he
ground out,
leading her through the crowd.

“Why? 
‘
Cause a girl can’t ha
ve a little fun any
more?”

“Please Kate, where is
your maturity?  Your
prideful academia?” he asked.  “This is not the behavior of a responsible person.”

“
I’ll have you know I’m a very responsible person
,” she insisted drunkenly.  “Always have been.  Work hard, but work hard don’t mean you can’t play hard, you know?  Everybody always thinks ‘cause I’m a biochemist that I can’t have fun anymore.  ‘Oh, she’s a geek with a geek job!  She’s supposed to be
so
serious
all
the time!’ 
That just ain’t right, you know
?
” 

Maintaining his aristocratic demeanor as best he could with the entire population of the tavern tracking their every move, Harrowby did not deign to answer to her drunken ramblings a
nd familiarity but continued
stoically
to
tow her out the door.

They left the tavern and a cool evening breeze str
uck Kate in the face just as tho
se last words were leaving her mouth.  Her mind cleared a bit but the anger was still there
over an issue that had given Kate a lot of grief over the years
. 
She
had matured quickly and had always taken her responsibilities and her career ambitions very seriously.  Because of this, many people expected
her
to act more maturely, act in a manner beyond her years but at the core Kate was still just
a
young woman with the same thoughts that any woman her age had.  She might study hard all week, but she still liked to get crazy with her girls on the weekends.  They would go clubbing, to parties.  Some people might think that because of her career choice, she had no desire to actually enjoy life.
  “Don’tcha ever just wanna get a little crazy, Brand?”

“Generally speaking, no,” he answered
,
prompting an unladylike snort of disbelief from Kate.
 
“
And I am most surprised to see this in you, Kate.  A woman of your education.”

Kate snorted. 
It was something that had always bothered her.  No, worse.  It made her gnash her teeth in
aggravation
every time she thought about it.   It frustrated Kate to no end to be picked apart by those who stereotyped
, even Brand
. 
This was probably how blond
e
s felt all the time.  Of course,
if she were blond
e
,
getting a little rowdy might be
considered all right
in the eyes of her critics.

When she finally got her PhD completed, would people criticize any action that didn’t reek of sto
d
gy maturity?  Would her music choices become suspect?  Her language?  She was still young enough to be a part of a generation that spoke more via text messaging than anything else, so if an OMG or LMAO or WTF escaped her, would someone who had stopped living a progressive life think her immature
for doing so
?  “I don’
t get
all ‘Girls Gone Wild’, you know?” she muttered as she stumbled behind Brand.  “I keep my Facebook page clean and I don’t Tweet anything too risqué!
  I’m a biochemist, not dead!
”

It irritated Kate to no
end that most people
thought it was all right for her high school and undergraduate friends from college who were now artists or dancers or blue-collar workers to act their age,
to party and get a little
unruly
.  Simply because she
wasn’t, people expected
her to act
as if
she was a forty-year-
old who lived in a library.

“
Why can’t a doctor be fun?  Or an engineer like to party?
”
she rambled on as Brand dragged her along.
 
Her mind kept whirling. 
Did one’s occupation define what they could be in their off hours?  Her mom was forty-
nine
, a vice president of one of the largest manufacturers in the country but Sarah Kallastad still knew how to live it up when she wanted
and threw a kick ass Christmas party every year for their family and friends. 

“
After you’ve seen your state’s governor getting down with Prince and a karaoke machine, you learn that stereotypes are just an unhappy pe
rson’s way of disparaging other
s
who have more fun than they do,” Kate went on as if the flow of conversation made perfect sense.  “I hope that when I’m
thirty or forty
or even sixty
,
I can still live as young as I feel without dealing with people’s bullshit all the time and you should to
o
, Brand.  Look at you, big gorgeous lug.  Buttoned up, stuffy.  I bet you’re dy
ing on the inside to let loose.”

Still
,
he remained silent until they reached his carriage.  Opening
the
door, Harrowby
helped Kate up the step and then gave her a push on her bottom to propel her the rest of the way in.  “Hey, watch it, buddy.  Hands!”  She slapped him away as she collapsed into one of the seats and glared at him over arms tightly crossed over her chest.  “Where do you think we’re going anyway?”

“I’m taking you home, Kate.”

“Home?  Might as well haul my ass back to London then.”

“Whatever has gotten into you, Kate?” he barked
in response to her sur
ly tone.
  “I spend my evening looking for you only to find you
completely kisky
at the pub? 
Fighting tight
in front
of everyone
, using foul language
.  Do you have any idea about how that reflects upon my household?”

“
Is that what’s got you so… so… that?” Kate waved her hand down the length of him.  “You came looking for me so that I wouldn’t embarrass your distinguished personage?  I’m so sorry to disappoint you, my lord, but I am only human you know!  Besides, y
ou don’t need to worry about that anymore
.”

“How can I not worry?” he practically yelled in her face.
“You are my
… bloody hell, my
nephew’s tutor!”

Kate snorted rudely.  “Not anymore I’m not!”

Harrowby sat back with astonishment
, all the hot air exhaled
.  “You’re quitting?”

“No.
” Kate’s lip curled in disgust
as she crossed her arms over her chest
.  “Be awfully hard to quit since your stinking mother already fired me.”