Not Planning on You (30 page)

 

 

 

 

Suzy was relieved to get home and away from the scrutiny of her friends. They meant well and she loved them for worrying about her, but she just preferred her own company right now. At least when she was home, she didn’t have to pretend that everything was great. Only the walls of her apartment knew that she cried herself to sleep more often than not. She’d turned into one of those pathetic creatures that she’d always pitied, brought to her knees by a man and not in a good way.

 

At least she wasn’t walking around the office with a box of tissue sobbing on everyone who would listen. Work was her refuge, the one place that she could focus on something else. Gray had remained in Charleston, and even though it was torture not knowing what was going on, at least she didn’t have to see him every day.

 

According to what she’d read in her lower moments, this grieving process was normal. Why then did it feel like she was losing her mind? Maybe she should start dating. If you can’t be with the one you love, lust the one you’re with or something. Just the thought of it, though, held zero appeal.

 

Apparently, Beth had even said something to their mother, which was horrifying. When she called last week, she’d gone into a twenty-minute speech on the pitfalls of romantic silliness and how a woman should only rely on a solid education and a challenging career. When the moment was right, you should align yourself with someone of similar intellect and ambition to co-habitat with.
Ugh, how did my parents ever have children? She could only imagine the long debate that resulted in her conception. It was probably for additional tax deductions and to possibly birth the next Einstein. Boy that must be a real kick in the ass now.

 

Tomorrow after her cast removal, she vowed to go to the mall and get a pedicure. She’d force herself to take that small step towards normalcy. Maybe next week she’d even ask everyone to lunch without them forcing her to go. Baby steps surely were the first step to recovery.

 

 

Nick was surprised to get a text from Gray on his cell phone when he was leaving the restaurant asking him to come to the beach house. He’d no idea that his brother was going to be in town. It gave him an uneasy feeling when he thought of Suzy. No matter how much she tried to joke everything off, she was fragile. Hell it had only been a couple of weeks since things ended with Gray and she didn’t even look healthy anymore. She still had a snappy come-back for most everything, but the light was gone from her eyes.

Suzy was a gorgeous woman, but the thing he’d always found the most eye catching about her was the way that energy just seemed to shimmer off of her. She literally pulled you into her force field and it was damn near impossible to leave her orbit once you were there. That energy was gone now. She had dark circles under her eyes that her careful make-up couldn’t conceal and even though she’d always been tiny, she was closer to frail now. If she kept this up, where would she be in another month? He knew that Beth was worried sick about her, but like all of her friends, she’d no idea what to do.

When he opened the door to his brother’s home, he was surprised at how much he’d missed the place. He’d always enjoyed living alone, but they had been somewhat of a family here for a while. Gray strolled in from the bedroom and Nick grimaced when he took a good look at his brother. “Bro, you look like hell.”

A smile lifted the corners of Gray’s fatigue-lined face.
“Yeah, hello to you, too, Nicky.”

“Man, when’s the last time you slept or had a Big Mac? It looks like you could use a big supply of both.”

“Thanks for the kind words, bro. I’ve just
been busy lately. I’m only here for tonight before I fly out to Seattle tomorrow.”

“Please tell me you didn’t stop over here to see Suzy?”

With a snort, Gray said, “If I did it wouldn’t be any of your concern. I’m actually just here first to pick up the new contract for Lawson from Jason. He dropped it by a few minutes ago.”

As if unable to stop himself, Gray asked, “Since you brought her up, how is she?”

Nick could see the desperation behind the casual question. “She looks like a stiff wind could blow her over, pretty much the same as you. Since we’re on the subject, are you any closer to digging yourself out of that mess with
Reva
? I’m not saying walk off and leave her, but don’t go out and starting buying china together before you know for sure that you’re the father. It might not be an ideal situation, but if you are the father, then be the kid’s father without marrying the mother.”

“Trust me Nick; I’ve been through all of this a million times. I’m not marrying
Reva
regardless of the outcome. I don’t love her and it wouldn’t be fair to her. I’ll be a very active father and I will of course support them both financially.”

“I’m confused then. If you have all of this figured out, then why aren’t you over there begging Suzy to give you another chance? Why are you letting this drag on when it’s making you both so damned miserable?”

“I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I’m trying to give her time to come to terms with everything. If I push her now, she’ll only resent it later. Look how long it took me to get her to agree to a date.
It’s
killing me, but she asked me to love her enough to let her go. I can’t give her that, but I can love her enough to give her time.”

Nick uttered the question that terrified Gray the most about his plan, “What if it’s too late then? What if you’re just giving her enough time to move on instead?”

 

 

 

 

 

Suzy found the old saying to be true, life does go on. No matter how much you seem to be running in place, the world moves on and you learn to move with it. It had been a month since she ended things with Gray, and she was slowly picking up the pieces again. It was still so damned hard to get out of bed each day, but she managed. She was even trying to put back on some of the weight she’d lost. There was a big difference in slim and skinny and right now she’d lost a lot of her curves and looked more like a stick figure.

 

Her cast had been removed a few weeks back and although her ankle was still weak, she was enjoying not having to lug crutches everywhere she went. Her friends had slowly backed off and were no longer giving her those nervous looks that she’d received for so long. Claire looked like she was going to go into labor at any moment and was no longer working at
Danver’s
per doctor’s orders. Beth and Ella had gotten even closer and Suzy had to admit, she was pretty fond of Ella, too. It was hard to believe she was the same person that used to annoy her daily. Nick was, well, just Nick. Her heart still hurt when she talked to him, but she managed to hide it. She cared a lot about him and it wasn’t his fault that things hadn’t worked out with Gray.

 

Since it was Saturday, Suzy was lazing on the couch flipping channels before she met Beth for lunch. When the doorbell rang a few minutes later, she looked at her watch. Apparently Beth had been running early and decided to come here instead of meeting her around the corner. Flipping off the television, Suzy swung the door open and then stood frozen in the doorway.

 

Standing on the doorstep with her cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of pink and looking very uncomfortable was
Reva
clutching the hand of a man that she’d never seen before. The man cleared his throat, “Ms. Denton, we’re sorry to drop in unexpectedly, but I hope that you can give us a few minutes of your time.
Reva
would really like to speak with you.”

 

Suzy stepped aside and motioned them in because she simply couldn’t think of anything else to do. What in the world would bring
Reva
to her doorstep and who was the man with her? He was too young to be her father so maybe her brother?

 

The couple was now standing in her living room looking around uncertainly. “Please have a seat,” Suzy said, pointing to the couch. Then sitting in the chair across from them, she decided to just get right to the point. “So this is a little weird to me. What exactly can I do for you and how did you find me?”

 

Reva
was nervously working the strap of her pocketbook with her fingers, looking completely miserable. The man beside of her spoke up again. “Ms. Denton, I’m Mark Wyatt and I believe you have met
Reva
before. We owe you an apology and an explanation.”

 

Suddenly
Reva’s
head came up and she turned to the man beside of her. “No Mark, I did this and I need to be the one to explain.” He reached over and gripped her hand, love evident in his eyes as he looked at her.

 

Ok, so obviously not a brother with the vibes flowing between them, so what now? Does she want to ask me about being the live-in nanny or something?

 

Then taking a deep breath and getting another squeeze of encouragement from the man beside of her,
Reva
began. “Suzy, I don’t really know where to start so I’ll just go from the beginning. Mark and I have been in love for several years. He works for my father as a security guard. You would have to know my parents to understand why this would be a problem. I love them, I really do, but they’re obsessed with climbing the social ladder and I’ve always been one of their ways to do that. When they found out that I was involved with Mark, they hit the ceiling. No way was their daughter going to end up with some blue collar worker especially one who worked for them.
Th
…They fired Mark and threatened to cut me off completely if I ever saw him again.”

 

Suzy had a feeling that she knew where this was headed. Even though this woman had turned her life into a living hell, she still felt sympathy for the obvious pain that she was going through as well. “
Reva
, can I get your some water?”

 

Both
Reva
and Mark turned a grateful expression to hers at the offer. When she returned with two bottles of water,
Reva
took a long drink of hers before continuing her story.

 

“Even though I wanted to keep seeing Mark behind their backs, he wouldn’t do it. He said that I either stood up to my parents or we were finished. I…I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to them so I let Mark go. I figured I could either make him jealous enough to take me on my terms or distract myself from my misery with someone new.” With a rueful expression,
Reva
said, “That’s where Gray comes in. I found out via a home pregnancy test that I was pregnant right before I met Gray.”

 

“You panicked,” Suzy said softly.

 

With tears running down her face,
Reva
said, “Yes, I did and thus started months of the most horrible behavior that anyone could ever fathom. Gray was a nice guy and I pursued him heavily even though I could tell that he really didn’t want to get involved with me. I think he only slept with me the one time out of pure pity. He’d probably never met a woman so desperate.” Looking over at Mark,
Reva
said, “I’m sorry honey, I know this is hard for you, too.”

 

“Yes, it is, love, but if I’d stood up to your parents, this probably wouldn’t have happened. Go ahead and finish your story and don’t worry about me.”

 

Reva
kissed their hands where they were joined and turned back to Suzy. “Gray broke it off with me almost immediately and I took advantage of his guilt to literally stalk him for months. I was desperate to get him back. I don’t know why I didn’t just tell him I was pregnant after a few months, but something held me back. It would have probably been less painful for him than my constant stalking. In my defense, I think I really just lost it there for a while. When I finally couldn’t hide my pregnancy from my parents any longer, I told them that Gray was the father instead of the truth. Instead of looking upset, they both looked thrilled. I strung them along for a few months telling them that Gray was traveling a lot and that we would all get together when he was back home. Gray didn’t even know at that point.”

 

“My God
Reva
, you must have been about to collapse under the pressure.” Suzy gave a rueful laugh, “I can’t even be that pissed off at you when I know how much you have suffered.”

 

A smile lit
Reva’s
face as she looked at her in relief. “Suzy, it kills me that I’ve caused two such good people so much pain. When I met you for the first time in the bar that night, I could see how much you and Gray loved each other and I had probably my first attack of conscience. I had a feeling that Gray had another woman in his life, but I had no idea how serious it was. Gray stepped up after that and really tried to take care of me. He even suffered through dinner with my parents where they almost drooled with delight over me trapping such an eligible man. I still managed to go ahead with the deception. The night of my car accident was a turning point for me, though. Gray was by my side the entire time and then the next day I found out he’d missed your birthday. He was so sad after that. It took that for me to finally see all of the lives I was ruining.”

 

Suzy was wondering why it had taken her a month to come forward after that revelation, but held kept her silence, letting
Reva
finish without interruption.

 

“I’m not proud to say that I was still hesitant to do what I knew I had to. I’d never stood up to my parents before and the thought of doing it terrified me, but I knew that if I were ever going to be with Mark, that I couldn’t rely on him to fight my battles. Last night I told my parents the truth.” Then on the whisper,
Reva
admitted, “They don’t want to have anything else to do with me.
I..
I left there and went to Mark where I poured out the whole story. I’m going to start seeing a therapist because I know that a normal person would never have done all of the things I’ve done to Gray. I stalked him and tortured him because I was so terrified of what would happen when my parents found out about the baby. I was desperate for them to think it was Gray’s.”

 

“Holy crap, that’s a lot to take in.
Reva
, I’ll be frank and say you have put me through hell this last month and probably Gray, as well. Somehow, though, I think you have been kicked enough. It took a lot of guts to come here today and face me. How did you do that by the way?”

 

With a shy smile,
Reva
admitted, “Google Maps.
Scary right?”

 

With a laugh, Suzy said, “You got that right. I’m sorry that your parents are being such bone heads, but it looks like Mark has your back.”

 

With a look of relief and gratitude,
Reva
reached out and took her hand. “Thank you Suzy for being so good about this. I can see why Gray loves you. I’m going to talk to him as soon as he gets home today.”

 

As
Reva
and Mark stood to leave, Suzy impulsively pulled her in for a quick hug. After a moment of hesitation,
Reva
returned the embrace. After she’d shut the door behind them, she fell down onto the couch and tried to process it all.

 

What if this made no difference? Had too much happened with Gray to start over now?
Oh blah, find your backbone. That’s your man and it’s about time you stopped whining and went after him or do you need another disaster to realize how much you love him?

 

One fist pump in the air and Suzy had her game face on. She had a user conference tonight that she had to attend. It was the entertainment portion of the conference and consisted of drinks, dinner and live entertainment. She was going to pack a bag and when it was over, she was heading to Charleston and the man she loved. She was hitching up her big girl panties and going after what she wanted.