Not Looking for Love: Episode 4 (14 page)

"You have to walk away," I whisper.
 

"Never gonna happen now, Gail," he says, his black eyes boring into mine, making thick blood ooze from the hole where my heart used to be. "Between Mike raging, Andrew leaving and Derek as good as dead, I'll be lucky if prison is the worst that happens to me. But at least then I won't have to face my dad or Marjorie for much longer."

One of my nails breaks with a snap because I'm digging my fingers into my palms so hard.

"And that's why I should never have started anything with you, Gail," he finishes and finished his drink, setting the glass down so hard it rolls off the table and shatters into a thousand pieces at my feet. Just like all that's still holding me together.

I'm standing, clutching my bag, shaking so hard my teeth are clanking together. "You didn't try very hard to stay away from me, Scott."

"I did try hard," he says. His eyes are on mine, blue again, searching my face, but I don't see him, can't because it's all over. "You wanted to know."

"I didn't want to know this! How am I supposed to live with this?"

He shrugs and finishes off my glass. "I'll have to. You could try too."

Only I can't, because all I can look forward to is fear and pain, anguish and grief, bereavement that comes years, decades before it's due. This morning we were young, had our whole lives in front of us before death forced one of us to say goodbye. And I could live with that, I could. But now the end is standing right behind me, its cold breath freezing the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins.
 

I'm running down the alleyway, before I even realize I left the apartment. My tires screech in the silence of the night. The world is a blur of yellow and red lights, which I don't stop for.

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
 

Thanks for reading! This story unfolds over a series of episodes in the form of short novels. The next episode of Not Looking For Love will be out in two weeks. Please sign up for my mailing list at
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About the Author:
 

Lena Bourne is a young writer, but she has seen her fair share of the world, of love and loss, and all that happens in between. Now she's here telling the stories you might otherwise have missed, which all are made up, of course, but could very well be real and true. Not Looking For Love is her first serial, a steamy New Adult romance, which will be released in five installments over the next few months.

www.lenabourne.com