Not First Love (2 page)

TWO

Jan was feeling the little waves of excitement building in her heart. This felt like an adventure. The more she climbed up the round stairway the more it seemed to close in. But instead of feeling claustrophobic, she was surprised that she was enjoying it. She had been to a clock tower with her father when she was eight, but was terrified to climb down the metallic spiral stairway. Those kind of stairs made her feel ungrounded. But these stairs were solid and made of stone and she felt so secure. Most of all, she liked the tower room. 

The tower room was nothing that she had expected. It was a medium sized, bare stone-walled room. It had an old-fashioned folding metallic bed, one small table and two chairs. At one side she found a door to a small toilet and in the middle of the room stood a huge window with a sliding wooden blind. Jan loved big windows. It made her feel free. She was actually surprised that this was so liveable. Zilo must have used this place as a getaway, she thought. He knew how to use something to get revenue out of it.

She meant to talk to Arthur and she waited for him to finish what he was doing. He didn't seem to talk much. He must be an introvert, like herself, she thought. Arthur showed her the room. It was better than she had expected. There was even a coffee making machine.  

"I will get you food thrice a day. The doors will be locked from the outside. Here's my phone number, call only when there's an emergency," Arthur said almost mechanically, and without waiting for an answer went out and pulled shut the door's latch from the outside. Before he turned away and went down the stairs, his ears caught a feeble sound from the other side, a 'thank you'.

Jan said 'thank you' but she thought it was too late for Arthur to hear. Arthur seemed to a quiet man, and it was good for her. Ron had told her before leaving not to get friendly or talk to anyone, it would not be safer for her. He always said that. Don't talk to tourists, don't help strangers with directions. Jan felt constrained when he did but she never complained. She wanted to make him happy even if it meant clipping her wings. She believed so much in sacrifices. But she felt it would be useful to give Arthur her number, for emergency.

Now, she felt free. She took off her shoes and threw herself on the bed. The metallic bed frame did make a creak but the mattress bounced her back. Jan giggled like a little girl. She let go of her hair clutcher and her jet black hair fell in waves around her face. She lay on the bed and watched the ceiling. She loved old-fashioned buildings.

She suddenly realized everything was so quiet, in a calm kind of way. Stone walls have a way of absorbing sound and in this tower room the only sounds that were carried over from the window were of the trees and the birds. No sound of cars or machines. Pure serenity.

She ran towards the window barefoot. The stone floor was cold but clean and it was perfect in this hot summer afternoon. The wide stone window was four foot above the floor and more than a foot wide. The sliding wooden blinds were pulled off and bright light and cool wind streamed in. Jan looked down and saw the tops of the trees. She spotted two nests and wondered which bird was the master of the house. A gush of wind flowed in and blew Jan's wavy hair. She took a deep breath filling her chest in the cool wind. She felt so happy, she raised her arms and an expression of joy escaped her lips.

“Yaay!”

Arthur walked towards the video screen alarmed. He had been checking the freezer for the cans of beer when he heard a shout come from the CC camera set, which he had forgotten also had the microphone volume turned up full when he had tested the set-up. He wondered why the girl was shouting, did she lose it already? He was surprised when he saw Jan so happy, or was she faking it he suspected. But why would she fake it? On the other hand, then there was nothing to be so happy about. Arthur put it in his mind to keep a closer watch on his confinee but then he stopped himself. It was not his business. He would just do the job Zilo handed him.

*****

Jan was dreaming. An old tower where a young girl was kept hidden from the world. The tower had stone walls and stone staircase. The girl was happy there because she didn't know what lay outside. She had seen the trees from the top. She had been told by her female maids that there are bad men out there who kill and take from people. This is safe. She didn't know what safety meant because she didn't know what danger meant. She lie on her big bed and saw the designs made on the ceiling. She saw a knight's painting on the ceiling, and she wondered if he was a good or bad man. The knight looked angry. It didn't look like Ron, although it felt like Ron. He was angry at Jan for thanking Arthur.

Jan was awake now. She looked at the time, she had overslept. She didn't get up, she lay and stared at the ceiling. Last night, Ron had called her up. While they spoke, Arthur had come in with her dinner and left it on the table without a word and went away. Jan had said, "Thank you, Arthur.” and also handed him her phone number.

Ron didn't like it. Why was Jan always so out to talk to unknown people. Why was she paying attention to Arthur, he had told her to ignore him. He complained that she was not listen to his warnings.

"It's for your security, Jan. Keep yourself protected."

"But Ron, I only thanked him."

"Just listen to what I say, would you? We don’t know what kind of a man Arthur is and I can't help you from here if fall into trouble", Ron almost shouted on the phone.

Arthur wasn't like that, she wanted to tell him but she knew it was of no use convincing Ron. He didn't feel comfortable if she talked about a guy. Jan was starting to feel awful that Ron was unhappy because of her. Thinking of their last night's conversation made her feel heavy on the heart now. Tears started to flow. She buried her face under the pillow.

Arthur was in the shower. He had slept in the sofa last night. He was used to it. In the morning he checked the cam screen and saw his confinee sleeping tight. As the sun rose higher, it was starting to get hot. Arthur threw off his jeans and underwear on the sofa and grabbed the towel.

The first wave of cool water from the shower always sent little prickles of pleasure on his skin. He felt aroused a little and enjoyed the feeling it took over the body. He would let his mind go totally blank. No thoughts, no worries, no people. This was his meditation in his own way and he was listening to his body's music. It seemed that water is feminine in its nature, and she loved to flow against the strong and curved body of the man. As she flowed from his neck to the back and made her way down his hips to kiss his legs, she found her own femininity.

After the shower, Arthur wound the towel around his waist and let the water drip. He walked out and checked the screen. She was not on the bed, must have gone to the bathroom, he thought. He turned away when he heard the sound of a motor. Putting on his clothes, he went outside, it was delivery guy bringing breakfast for Jan and him.

Jan was sitting on the bed. The thought of last night hung to her like a guilt. She tried to cry it off to lighten herself. She couldn't shake off the thought that no matter what she did, she would somehow do something that Ron would disapprove. She wanted to make things work. Ron was her first love, her first kiss and first sex. He will be the first and only. He is the most special man on earth for him. She will try everything, go to the edge if necessary so that all will be good at the end. If it doesn't work she will never kiss a second man.  

The sound of latch and then the door opening brought Jan's mind back. Arthur stepped in and placed the food on the table. Jan stayed seated on the bed with her eyes down.

"I will bring in the trash can," Arthur said. He kept the food and left. Jan stayed still as she was.

Arthur closed the door and went down. He was indifferent when she said thank you last night. He noticed that she didn't say it now. Must have run out of patience for niceties, he smiled to himself. He took the trash can and returned to the tower room. He didn't have to glance at Jan to see that she had been sitting just as before, eyes down. While he closed the door, he did glance at her. This was the first time he looked directly at her face. She seemed to have a reserved expression, her hair was unkempt. She had on the same dress she was wearing yesterday. He remembered that very well because it had looked just so plain. She looked so lifeless. Maybe the confinement is making her lifeless, he mused as he closed the latch. But it was her choice to stay here, and he got work to do he remembered. He walked down the stairs into the hall and opened his laptop. Arthur had work to do.

*****

Arthur had his real work to do. He has lives to save. He had to continue his father's trade. There were only a handful of people like him across the country. To stay strong, one always kept updating the others. It was a dangerous job and to be carried out in secret. You never know when danger would arise. Arthur went through the updates of the Others. That was the name that had come to be to address the other people in the group or the group itself. He read on. He came across a word, it sounded Oriental. He punched on Google and went through the search results.

It felt complicated. The word was Sanskrit and there were many results based on Budhhist references and Hindu practices. They were hundreds, no; thousands, of articles but all this information didn't help him. It lost him. He was sweating and took off his grey t-shirt and placed it on the sofa's armrest to dry. Flinging himself on the sofa, he tried to skim through the articles trying to understand how it would apply in his ‘project’.

Arthur had dozed off sometime. The sound of his cell phone ringing woke him up. It was Zilo calling. He asked how Jan was doing.

"She looks okay, but I can't say if she can stay here as long as the full tem," Arthur replied. Zilo said he wanted to speak to her.

"Hold on, I will take the phone to her." Arthur walked towards the stairs when he remembered he wasn't wearing his t-shirt. He came back and wore it on his way to the top. He opened the latch and knocked and was surprised he did that. Jan answered and Arthur gave her the phone. Jan seemed happy to take Zilo's call and Arthur wondered if this was the first time she smiled that day. He turned to wait outside the room when he saw that her food was still untouched. It was almost noon, didn't she get hungry or did she not like the food. He tried to hear what Jan was talking to Zilo. She was telling him how good the food was and Arthur was a such a gentleman. She was doing fine here.

Arthur could sense that she was not fine. She hadn't touched her food, and he had not been even nice to her inspite of what she had said. She looked sad. If the confinement made her depressed she would have mentioned it to Zilo but she didn't. She seemed quite happy yesterday. He couldn't make sense. He thought maybe she is one of those moody girls or maybe she is acting it all out. She was getting more mysterious to him. Jan finished talking to Zilo, then called out to him and handed the phone to Arthur. He took it, put the latch back to lock her in and went downstairs. He will be keeping a watch on her. Arthur came down and set his laptop near the cam screen.

Jan was eating. Jan got up and looked outside the window. Jan gets a towel and goes to the bathroom. Jan opens her duffel bag and gets a book out. Arthur remembers that the bag had felt heavier when he had carried it up and he had felt suspicious. He hadn't guessed it would be books. She had quite a few of them and was choosing which one to pick. Arthur couldn't see the names through the screen. He felt foolish to have been so easily alarmed but then he knew it is better safe than to be sorry.

Jan had no idea that she was being watched. She sat on the chair and opened the book on the table but after a while she didn't feel very at ease. She got up and pulled the chair towards her window. She got the second chair and put her feet on it and settled with her book. Reading the book, she stretched her legs on the chair. Her legs wouldn't fit fully so she try to push back the chair while reading the book. The chair got pushed back too far and her legs couldn't reach it. She got up exasperated and brought the chair back and again started to push it back to get it into the most comfortable position. Arthur was keeping an eye on the screen, but didn't realize that he was watching Jan as well as her legs.  

Jan stopped reading and looked outside the window. There is a sound when winds gush through the trees. No matter how fast the wind is, the sound of the leaves against the wind have a whispering tone. Sometimes the whisper's louder, but strange enough it still sounds like a whisper to Jan's ears. She could spend the whole day listening to their whispers. She had tried to forgot last night's conversation with Ron, just like she always did.

There was a knock on the door followed by Arthur with lunch. Arthur kept the food and she kept quiet, watching him. Arthur is a gentleman, she told herself. It was a woman's instinct but Ron didn't trust it. She looked at Arthur, he was wearing faded blue jeans and a grey t-shirt. She looked away from him as he moved to the door. If she hadn't, their eyes would have met.