Northern Spirit (34 page)

‘This takes me back years.’ Tony wandered around looking at photographs
and paintings hanging on the walls. Some were of him as a child; some were of
Joanne, and some of his father and his estranged mother.

Marian McKenzie went to the kitchen to prepare some tea and to peel
some vegetables to make the boys a meal. She pulled the door behind her, leant
back on it, and sighed, ‘Now what!’

She was glad Joanne was out shopping, and hoped that she’d stay away
long enough so she could gather her thoughts, and see how to handle the
situation. The two young men sat in her parlour would have been most welcome at
one time and Marian was certainly relieved to know they were safe. She wanted
to call Tony’s father and David’s mother straight away, but guessed that
wouldn’t be wise, not until she had them in her confidence. Both men looked
ill; she’d seen Tony in the hospital, but had expected by now that he would be
well, but he was still coughing. David looked much thinner too; more so than
she’d remembered him. His dark skin was now pale and insipid looking.

She took a tea-tray into the room and sat pensively with the two young
men.

‘How’s Jo, then Aunty?’ Tony started.

‘She’s okay considering. . . . She’s not the same girl though - all the
fun’s gone out of her. But then I suppose that goes the same for you, Davey. .
. . I’m sorry about your father, honey.’ She spoke with a soft Aberdonian
accent.

David acknowledged her kindness.

‘Are you going to stay a day or two?’ She quizzed them.

‘No Aunty. . . . Just the night, if that’s alright with you.’

‘Yes . . . yes of course, but one of you will have to sleep on the
sofa. I’ve no more room upstairs.’

A night in this claustrophobic room didn’t appeal to David one bit, but
neither did spending a night upstairs in a bedroom close to Joanne. ‘That’ll be
me, then. I’ll take the settee. I’m kinda getting used to them now.’

Marian paused before she spoke again: ‘Joanne won’t come back with you,
if that’s what you want.’ She looked at David as she poured the tea.

‘No . . . no Aunty. We haven’t come to take her back. . . . We just
want to see if she’s okay, that’s all.’ Tony said.

Marian was still suspicious of their intentions. She handed them a tin
of chocolate biscuits and returned to the kitchen.

David went and sat in the corner by the window to get some light. He
picked up a newspaper and flicked through it, reading only the headlines. Tony
leant back in the chair and tried to get back to sleep. They were startled when
they heard the doorbell ring and a woman’s voice. It was Joanne’s.

David jumped up as his body responded to the adrenaline.

Joanne came into the room and threw her shopping bags down on the sofa,
delighted to see her brother, then gasped as she realised they weren’t alone.
‘What’s he doing here?’

‘Hush, Jo . . . sit down.’ Tony whispered.

Joanne was shocked as she glanced across at David and attempted to
leave but Tony quietly pushed the door closed.

‘Leave her, Tony. . . . Don’t frighten her.’

‘Don’t worry, David, I’m not frightened of you.’ she gasped. But Joanne
was already lying; she was afraid and felt cornered.

‘Then you wouldn’t mind answering a few questions, Jo? I’m sorry if
this troubles you, but believe you me; David’s been hurting as well you know.’

‘Please Jo . . .’ David said, ‘If you want me to leave, then I’ll go,
but please talk to Tony. . . . Please be honest with us, we have something to
ask.’

Joanne’s countenance hardened and she bit her lip.

David had the courage to look into her face again, and how much she’d
changed. Gone was the lovely young woman that had bewitched him only a few
weeks earlier and had tempted him into a final decision of marriage. Her skin
was pale and dappled with acne. Her eyes were dull with dark circles beneath
them. But it was her hair that had changed the most; it had been cut and was so
short that it didn’t suit her; in fact, she appeared common and hard,
unapproachable and unlovable. And the black leather jacket and short skirt she
wore only highlighted her brash appearance.

Joanne’s manner with David was as harsh as when he left her at the
bungalow but now, with some of her sins to be exposed, she could only look at
David with hatred, because he was the one who’d uncovered them. So every
blemish on his body, his personality and his slovenly appearance became
abhorrent, to compensate for her own flaws. When he tried to speak to her,
there were feelings of revulsion for him.

But her look of disgust helped David and gave him courage, as he saw it
as a key to freedom; in no way could he propose to this angry young woman, even
if he were given reason to do so.

Joanne sat down on a dining chair and folded her arms in defiance. The
two men remained standing.

Everything to David appeared to be surreal. This quaint room in
Aberdeen with its china ornaments and Draylon covers wasn’t the right setting
for what was taking place. He hoped that Marian McKenzie wouldn’t return; he
hoped she hadn’t heard Joanne shouting.

When Tony started to question Joanne, David remained silent.

Joanne knew she was in trouble as the seriousness of her brother was
rare. And so he began: ‘Have you ever had an affair with David’s dad?’

The frankness of his question shocked her; she flushed with colour and
held her head low, no longer able to hide behind her hair. ‘Man alive . . . ! You’re
blunt aren’t you,’ she spat.

‘I don’t care, Jo. I want some honest answers for both your sakes.’

‘Since when has anyone been honest with me?’ She lifted her head and
looked at David. Yet Joanne knew it was futile to argue with her brother, she’d
tried and failed so many times; yes, she was quick with words, but she was no
match for him.

‘Joanne, this isn’t a game. . . . This is real life. We just want the
truth. You live in some kind of fairytale world. You can’t go on fooling around
with people’s lives.’

‘Oh no. . . . Not like
he
can!’

David lowered his head.

‘You nearly killed us both up on those fells, running away like a child
that can’t get its own way. David’s father is dead, and some of the last words
he spoke were about you. So answer me, Jo . . . did you have an affair with
him?’

The tension was now touching David’s soul, his legs became weak and he
had an uncontrollable desire to sit down. He fell back with such a crash that
the chair was pushed into the wall, knocking a table.

Joanne glared at him. She wondered if he’d fainted, but anger prevented
her from helping him.

David composed himself and softly spoke, ‘Joanne . . . please. . . .
We’ve come all this way to talk to you. Tony’s tired and he’s still unwell. I
can’t bear this arguing anymore. I’ve had enough. I’m sorry about all that
happened, much of it is my fault. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I never intended to.
I’m sorry you had to be there when my Dad came back. I only hope my actions
saved you from the gun,’ he sighed. ‘I’ve been lied to and cheated on so much,
and now I just want to know the truth about the two of you. Just tell us and
we’ll walk away. You obviously despise me now and maybe I can understand that,
but I must get on with my life. You’re young enough to decide for yourself what
to do, but please tell me, Jo, please.’

David’s plea touched her heart, but she still felt his reproof. ‘You
always treat me like I’m a kid - both of you do. But I’m not stupid, I know
exactly what I’m doing. . . .’ she stuttered. ‘Oh my! Your dad said some
incredible things, David, didn’t he? Perhaps they’re true, I don’t know. One
thing, for sure is. Yes, I did have an affair with him, but I’m not sorry - I
won’t say I’m sorry!’ And she walked from the room, defiant. She wanted to hurt
him, again.

To have his fears confirmed, David had to stand. He guessed Joanne
would now be crying but there was no way he could bring himself to go and
console her.

‘Well that’s it then, Dave. . . . That’s it. I could kill her!’

David knew his costly trip to Aberdeen had revealed the dark secret he
hadn’t allowed himself to believe. He saw the anger in Tony’s eyes but there
was no anger with him, he only felt sick and appalled that the young woman he’d
considered marrying held this incredible secret, and he’d once thought her so
innocent.

‘I don’t know whether to hope she’s lying or not,’ he softly spoke.

‘She’s not lying, Dave. I know this is true. . . . Man, you’ve had a
lucky escape. But I wish it hadn’t happened this way.’

*       
*        *

Quietly and deliberately, Kathy Keldas put the telephone receiver down,
rubbed her hair away from her forehead and dampened eyes.

She was relieved that Marian McKenzie had called, but the news that her
son was in Aberdeen made her shudder; to think he may have proposed a marriage
of consolation to Joanne. There was nothing more she could do. She had brooded
around the house for three weeks, not mourning the loss of her husband, as many
suspected, but mourning the loss of her son.

The fear that one day David would discover the truth about his
background had dogged her for twenty-three years. The early years of her
marriage had been the easiest to cope with. George had shown her so much love
and passion. He had idolised David, treating him, as he had promised, like a
real father would. But as soon as the other children came along, things
changed. David was pushed into the background, and it was only George’s fear of
losing Kathy, if he spoke out about David, that kept him silent. Kathy had
threatened George that if he ever revealed the truth to David, or to anyone
else, she would leave him, and in many of his drunken moments she had feared he
would. David, in ignorance, had accepted the rejection of his father, because
of the love that was lavished on him by his mother. Kathy loved all her
children, but David was special and she had to give him more.

She was devastated when David had shown so much loathing towards her,
when she had only ever loved him and done everything for his best interests.

George’s death had ended her marriage sooner than she’d anticipated.
His will stated, and much as she suspected, that he’d left the farm and the
land to Linzi, Tom and Sarah, leaving David nothing. George had given Kathy the
right to live at Keld Head and reap its rewards, as long as she stayed single.
There was one consolation, and that was Linzi had returned home for good. The
death of her father she had found hard to bear. Her secret visits to the prison
had fed her love for him, but now there were only the fields and the buildings
to remind her of him.

Linzi was in complete ignorance as to why David had left, and was
incensed that he hadn’t come back for the funeral. She remembered how much he
had chastised her for not attending Uncle Fred’s funeral. She thought him a
hypocrite. But after her mother told her of the Will, she thought she
understood and guessed that David must have known all along about being
dis-inherited. Yet she still couldn’t understand why her father would have done
that to David. But her anger for David soon turned to pity, as she wondered if
he was still alive. He’d been so close to death at the hands of her father, he
must surely be emotionally scarred. She couldn’t bear to think of him in any
kind of distress.

Linzi had begged Kathy to help her find him, and couldn’t understand
her mother’s complacency. But Kathy had said she was over-reacting and that
David would come home in his own good time. But Linzi wanted to fight for
David’s rights to Keld Head and thought her mother’s actions were unfeeling and
unfair.

Then there was relief when Alan had spotted the lights on at the
Milton’s bungalow and the news that David had been in London with Tony. Kathy
was deeply hurt when she heard of Alan’s row with him. She’d stayed in all the
following morning and sent Alan away on some errands in a hope that she might
talk to David alone. She needed to explain to him why she’d lied and done
things the way she had. Only they must know their secret. She waited and waited
but he didn’t call. Kathy couldn’t bear the suspense any longer, so had walked
down to the bungalow but found it empty. And to hear the news now that David
was in Aberdeen, not seeking her or any further explanations, and had gone
recklessly chasing after a girl he would be a fool to marry, devastated her.

Alan had made it clear that he couldn’t continue to hold down two jobs
and the workload had put a strain on their relationship. He had presumed he
could step into Kathy’s heart, but her coldness toward him had become
intolerable. He realised that he could never compete for her affections, as she
secretly pined for David. Alan had made the mistake of openly criticising David
for his behaviour, but Kathy knew there was little badness in her son. Alan had
promised and delivered as much as he could do, but said if David didn’t return
she should consider selling the cattle, as they were spending excessive amounts
of money hiring relief workers.

*       
*        *

David slept remarkably well on Aunt Marian’s sofa. The heat from the
coal fire had warmed him most of the night. He found the cosy little room to be
quiet and peaceful, and he no longer felt intimidated by it. He longed for the
time when he could sleep in a real bed again. The small bedroom at Keld Head,
he didn’t desire. The uncomfortable feelings from yesterday had now gone and he
felt like the man he was in London: free and content. The only things he had to
consider were the decisions for his own well being and future; not those of
anyone else, not even at the mercy of some girl who’d abused his sense of
justice and kindness. One day David would look back and realise he’d been a
fool. He did believe Joanne had sincerely loved him; he was in no doubt of
that. But her betrayal at the hands of her former lover had revealed a darker
side to Joanne, just as the photographs and the writings in her diary had
betrayed her. There was no longer any need to sacrifice his future for the one
small mistake on his part, for the whole of her sordid past. David felt her sin
was greater than his. Tony was right – he’d had a lucky escape, and David
should have listened to him sooner. He had suffered at the hands of two women
now and wondered if he could ever trust another.