North Dakota Weddings (62 page)

Clearly, he was searching for the right words.

Whatever it was obviously involved her. An image flashed in her mind, and the room began to spin. “Oh no, Jack. Has something happened to my father?”

His stern expression infused with concern. “What? Of course not,” he snapped, his words harsher than she’d ever heard. Softer, this time, he said, “No, Rayne, no.”

“Then what?”

“How could you do it?”

Rayne’s jaw dropped open, as she tried to form words. “Oh…”

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?”

Obviously, someone had seen her meeting with Carvis Clark. “Listen, it’s not what it looks like.”

“You steal the schematics for my pump and sell them to another company. Tell me how that’s a misunderstanding.”

The walls tilted again as the blast of his words exploded through her, piercing her like shrapnel. “Wha—?”

“As of this moment, you’re terminated.” A deep frown lined Jack’s forehead, and he rocked his chair around to face the back of the office.

How could he believe she’d do a thing like that? Stunned, Rayne could barely stand, much less voice, the thoughts igniting in her mind in her own defense. Of all the reasons she’d imagined he wanted to see her this morning, something like this hadn’t occurred to her.

Regardless that she was being terminated under false pretenses—well, partially false, because FountainTech wouldn’t want an employee who was fraternizing with its competition for any reason—she could no longer work with Jack. Not after this. Not after he had believed a complete lie about her and, and…

Fired
her!

As tears blurred her vision, Rayne knew one thing. God had answered last night’s prayers for direction quickly this time.

J
ack stared out his window, willing himself to remain composed and in control of the situation, willing Rayne to just…leave. He watched the clouds gather. The tension in his office felt statically charged, one wrong move from either of them and the room might explode in white light.

Rayne sniffled behind him. “How could you believe such a thing, Jack?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

Her words sliced him open, severing the last of his control. How was he supposed to endure this anguish? He squeezed his eyes shut,
God, help me…
.

Jack whirled his chair around to face Rayne, but she’d left without another word. His office door stood open. He grabbed his coat and rushed out and through the reception area. He had to get out of there, get some air.

“I’ll be back after lunch,” he said, answering Gail’s questioning gaze as he shoved through the glass doors.

In his car, Jack pulled out of the parking garage and into traffic. How he wished he could just drive until all his frustrations were spent. Once out of Fargo, he found himself on a lone stretch of highway, and then he passed the little country church where Heidi attended, Rayne supposedly attended, and he’d visited a few times. Fargo Community Church. He recalled his earlier thoughts this morning when he’d noticed the cross on the church he passed on his way into work.

Pain throbbed in his chest, an emotional pain so powerful it had become physical—something Jack had never experienced before. And it scared him. After looking both ways, he made a U-turn and zipped back toward the church, then drove into the parking lot, stopping the car in a marked space farthest from the front door.

Leaving the engine running, Jack pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. What was going on?
Lord, what am I doing here?

Maybe it was a last desperate attempt to get God’s attention because God had ignored Jack and his anguish for far too
long
. He considered that he should go inside the church and sit in a pew or maybe kneel at the altar if they had one—was there an altar inside the church? Jack couldn’t remember. All he knew was that the grief had paralyzed him. He flat out could not move, and if he could, he was sure he would collapse to his knees.

Thump, thump, thump
. Jack startled at the sound, bolting upright to see Pastor Luke standing next to his car, knocking on the window.

“Are you okay?” Pastor Luke said despite the fact Jack hadn’t lowered the window.

Jack did just that and forced a smile. “Sure, I’m fine.”

“I’m not convinced.” Pastor Luke lifted a brow. “Why don’t you come in, and we’ll talk.”

Jack shook his head. “No, I couldn’t bother you.”

“Come on, son. You and I both know that you’re here for a reason. Could it be that God brought you here?”

Jack pressed his back against the seat and exhaled slowly. Maybe, finally, God had seen the agony Jack carried. Maybe now God was ready to talk. “All right. You win. I’ve got a few minutes to spare.”

Jack cringed, his last words hitting him squarely in the gut. Could it be all this time that God had been there, waiting on him? Could it be that Jack was the one ignoring God, only giving Him “a few minutes to spare,” which rarely happened, if ever?

“Don’t worry. You might not have much time, but God has all the time in the world for the perfecting of the saints.”

Jack climbed from the car and slammed the door behind him. Pastor Luke squeezed his shoulder and led him into the little church. Jack took in the pulpit and the stained glass windows, but they did nothing to ease his soul. Pastor Luke then entered his office, Jack on his heels.

“Now, tell me what’s bothering you.”

Sitting in the chair across from Pastor Luke’s desk, Jack stared down at his hands. “I don’t have a clue where to start.”

How did one go about sharing things like this with a complete stranger, though he was a pastor, a shepherd to the members of this church?

“I should have suggested we pray first, I’m sorry,” Pastor Luke said. He bowed his head and began thanking the Lord for all His blessings. Then he moved into praying earnestly for Jack, that God knew his heart and was even now working in Jack’s life.

The words disturbed Jack, but probably because they were closer to the truth than he wanted the pastor to know. He hated the moisture surfacing in his eyes, but with it came the lifting of a weight, a washing away of his burdens.

Jack opened up then to Pastor Luke, and to God, as he’d never done before. All of the hurts and frustrations that had occurred in his life, the pain that had left him scarred, seemed to gush out of a deep well. It surprised Jack that he had so much pent up inside him. At times his words sounded harsh and cutting, even to his own ears.

To his credit, Pastor Luke just listened with a concerned but caring look. Jack could see nothing judgmental in the man’s expression. When Jack finished, Pastor Luke asked if they could pray again.

“Son, only God can heal these wounds. He’s more than willing, but you have to let go of them and give them to Him. I believe you’ve done that today here with me and with our heavenly Father listening. He’s right here, too. Pray again with me, and let’s give Him these burdens. They’re too much for you to carry.”

So Jack prayed with Pastor Luke, and for the first time in years, he forgave and was forgiven. He hadn’t realized the weight he’d carried in his heart. Now he almost felt as if he was floating—spiritually speaking, of course.

“Because God has given us free will, much of the turmoil in our lives is caused by our own decisions and, unfortunately, the decisions of others around us. You can’t blame God for your hurts, but you can thank Him now for using this situation to bring you to your knees.” Pastor Luke chuckled. “Pun intended. God is in the business of making beauty from ashes.”

Feeling like a man newly freed from prison, Jack wished Pastor Luke well and assured him he would call in a couple of days. Walking to his car, Jack noticed he had a bounce in his step that hadn’t been there in a while.

The sun broke through the clouds and shined on his car, and at that moment, Jack wondered why he’d so easily believed the news Harold had shared with him about Rayne. He hadn’t even questioned the accusations.

Taking a deep breath, Rayne opened the front door. “Hello, Mom, Dad. Anybody here?”

In the middle of the day, her father was probably in the fields, planting his crop. Rayne headed to the kitchen and almost collided with her mother.

Her mother gripped her arms. “Rayne! What a surprise.”

Rayne smiled, still wearing her sunglasses to hide her eyes. “Hi, Mom. Sorry I startled you.”

“I was just about to throw together a casserole for this evening. What brings you here in the middle of the week?” She tugged on an apron.

Rayne found a glass in the cabinet and poured lemonade from a pitcher on the counter. “I have some time off and wanted to check on Dad.”

Her mother gave a wave of her hand then dragged a casserole dish from under the counter. “You know your father—he’s back to work like nothing happened. We’ve got a farm to run, Rayne. Don’t forget that.”

Relaxing a little because her mother wasn’t scrutinizing her, Rayne shoved the sunglasses onto her head. She took a few swallows of the lemonade then set down the glass. This was it, then. God had finally answered her prayer for direction, and now she’d be moving back to the farm. Her family needed her, and evidently FountainTech did not.

But it wasn’t by her choice, and she felt like a failure. Worst of all—

Rayne leaned against the counter for support as she pushed an image of Jack’s face from her mind.

How had she even made it all the way out to the farm?

“Honey, are you all right?” Her mother wrapped an arm around her waist. “You sit down here.”

Rayne felt herself being guided to the kitchen table and into a chair. This wasn’t how she wanted to look in front of her mother. The last thing she needed right now was to have to answer questions. How could she tell her mother that she’d been fired, and that Jack had believed the worst and been the one to do the deed?

“Are you feeling ill? Is that why you came home?” Her mother held her palm against Rayne’s forehead.

Rayne leaned her head out of her mother’s reach. “I’ve already told you I came home to see how Daddy was doing.” Nausea began to spin in her stomach, and she pressed her hand against her waist. “But you’re right. Must be something I ate.”

“Well, let’s see.” Her mother put one hand on her hip and a finger to her mouth. “I’ve got some Pepto-Bismol in the bathroom upstairs.”

“You finish your casserole. I’ll lie down for a little while.” Rayne forced a smile, though weak, hoping to reassure her mother.

At the bottom of the stairs, Rayne’s gaze followed the steps up to the door to her room. Why had she come back? She’d not even stopped at her apartment to pack, and she’d asked Gail to pack her office things up and ship them to her at the farm. She never wanted to step foot in FountainTech again.

Rayne trembled. No. She couldn’t go to her room, because right now she could hardly think straight. She knew that it would only make her feel as if she’d been imprisoned. She thought of all she’d had to overcome to leave this place. Even though she loved the farm, loved her parents, she’d wanted more, and now she was thrown back into the middle of it.

What she needed most was to find solace in the same place she’d always found inspiration. The problem was that place only served to remind her of Jack now.

The front door swooshed open, and Paul rushed in without knocking, just like he owned the place.

Something must have happened. Dad!

“Is it my father? What’s wrong?”

His eyes grew wide as he drew in a breath. “No, Rayne, it’s you. Are you all right?”

Confused, she shrugged. “Of course, why would you think—”

“Because…” Paul glanced around the house. “Let’s talk in private.”

Rayne wanted to tell Paul no, but how could she? He didn’t deserve to be treated poorly. No matter that her life had been shattered today.

“What is it?” she asked.

He tugged her out the door, and she willed herself to follow him over to his truck.

He touched her shoulder. “Rayne, I sent you flowers at your work today.”

Rayne didn’t think she had any blood left in her face. Her knees went weak, but she clung to the truck door with all her might, still unwilling to admit anything to Paul.

The Adam’s apple in his throat bobbed up and down. “Is it true, Rayne? Have you come back to us? They told me you no longer worked at FountainTech.”

“They
told
you that?”

“The flower people called me to say they tried to deliver the flowers. When you didn’t answer your cell, I called the company directly. The woman there wanted the address to the farm. Said you wanted your stuff sent there.”

This day could not get any worse. Rayne rubbed her hands down her face. “Okay, Paul. You cannot tell a soul. I’m not ready to tell anyone. I don’t know what I’m doing yet either.”

Paul looked hurt, confused. “What do you mean?”

It was ironic. Her parents hadn’t believed in her when she wanted to pursue this career. And now Jack didn’t believe in her. But Paul…

“You’ve never stopped believing in me, have you?”

A slow smile eased onto his lips. “Or that you’d come back.”