none (49 page)

Read none Online

Tags: #none

BOOK: none
3.35Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

When the mountain lords had departed, Beltran courteously asked Regis and Danilo to remain for a fewmore days. I had not expected either of them to agree and was ready to try to persuade them, but to mysurprise, Regis had accepted the invitation. Maybe it was not so surprising. He looked dreadfully ill. Ishould have talked to him, tried to find out what ailed him. Yet whenever I tried to speak to him alone berebuffed me, always turning the conversation to indifferent things. I wondered why. As a child he hadloved me; did he think me a traitor, or was it something more personal?

Such was my state when we gathered that morning in the small fireside hall where we had met andworked together so often. Beltran bore the marks of stress and grief and he looked older, too, soberedby the new weight of responsibil-ity. Thyra was pale and composed, but I knew how hard-won thatcomposure had been. Kadarin, too, was haggard, grieved. Rafe, though subdued, had suffered the least;his grief was only that of a child who had lost a kindly guardian. He was too young to see the deeperimplications of this.

Marjorie had that heartbreaking remoteness I had begun to see in her lately, the isolation of every Keeper. Through it I sensed a deeper disquiet Beltran was her guardian now. If he and I were to quarrel,the future for us was not bright

300

Marion Zimmer Bradley

These were my kinsmen. Together we had built a beautiful dream. My heart ached that I must be theone to shatter it.

But when Danilo and Regis were ceremoniously escorted in, I felt again a glimmer of hope. Perhaps,perhaps, if I could persuade them to help us, there was still a way to salvage that dream!

Beltran began with the utmost courtesy, making formal apologies to Danilo for the way his men hadexceeded their orders. If the words had more of diplomacy than real regret, I supposed only thestrongest of telepaths could feel the difference. He ended by saying, "Let the end I am striving foroutweigh personal considerations. A day is coming for Darkover when mountain men and the Domainsmust forget their ages-old differences and work together for the good of our world. Can we not agree onthat at least, Regis Hastur, that you and I speak together for a world, and that our fathers andgrandfathers should have wrought together and not separately for its well-being?"

Regis made a formal bow. I noticed he was wearing his own clothes again. "For your sake, Lord Beltran, I wish I were more skilled in the arts of diplomacy, so that I might more fittingly represent the Hasturs here. As it is, I can speak only for myself as a private individual. I hope the long peace between Comyn and Aldaran may endure for our lifetimes and beyond."

"And that it may not be a peace under the thumbs of the Terrans," Beltran added. Regis merely bowed

again and said nothing.

Kadarin said with a grim smile, "I see that already you are skilled, Lord Regis, in the greatest of the

Page 217

Comyn arts, that of saying nothing in pleasant words. Enough of this fencing-match! Beltran, tell themwhat it is you hope to do."

Beltran began to outline, again, his plans to make Darkover independent, self-sufficient and capable ofstar-travel. I listened again, falling for the last time under the sway of that dream. I wished-all the godsthere ever were know how I wished-that his plans might work. And they might. If Danilo could help usuncover enough telepaths, if Beltran's own latent powers could be wakened. //, if, if! And, above all, ifwe had some source of power other than the impossible Sharra....

Beltran concluded, and I knew our thoughts ran for the moment at least along the same track: "We havereached a point where we are dependent on your help, Danilo. You are

THE HERITAGE OF HASTUR

301

a catalyst telepath; that is the rarest of all psi powers, and if it is in our service, our chances of success are enormously raised. It goes without saying that you will be rewarded beyond your dreams. You will help us, will you not?"

Danilo met the ingratiating smile with a slight frown of puzzlement. "If what you are doing is so just andrighteous, Lord Aldaran, why did you resort to violence? Why not seek me out, explain this to me, askmy aid?"

"Come, come," said Beltran good-naturedly, "can't you forgive me for that?"

"I forgive you readily, sir. Indeed, I am a little grateful. Otherwise I might have been charmed into doing what you wish without really thinking about it. Now I am not nearly so sure. I've had too much experience with people who speak fine words, but will do whatever they think justified to get what they want. If your cause is as good as you say, I should think any telepath would be glad to help you. If I am made sure of that by someone I can trust, and if my lord gives me leave"-he turned and made Regis a formal bow-"then I am at your service. But I must first be wholly assured that your motives and your methods are as good as you say"-he looked Beltran straight hi the eyes, and I gasped aloud at his audacity-"and not just fine words to cover a will to power and personal ambition."

Beltran turned as red as a turkey-cock. He was not used to being crossed, and for this shabby nobodyto read him a lesson in ethics was more than be could face. I thought for a moment that he would strikethe boy. Probably he remembered that Danilo was the only catalyst telepath known to be adult and fullyfunctioning, for he controlled himself, although I could see the signs of his inward wrath. He said, "Willyou trust Lew Alton's judgment?"

"I have no reason not to trust it, but. . ." And he turned to Regis. I knew he had reached the end of his

own defiance.

I knew Regis was as frightened as Danilo, but just as resolute. He said, "I will trust no man's judgmentuntil I have heard what he has to say."

Kadarin said shortly, "Will you two boys, who know noth-mg of matrix mechanics, presume to sit injudgment upon a trained Arilinn telepath about matters of his own competence?"

Regis gave me a pleading look. After a long pause, during which I could almost feel him searching for the

Page 218

right words, he said, "To judge his competence-no. To judge whether I

302

Marion Zimmer Bradley

can conscientiously support his ... his means and motives- for that I can trust no man's judgment but my

own. I will listen to what he has to say."

Beltran said, 'Tell them, then, Lew, that we must do this if Darkover is to survive as an independentworld, not a slave colony of the Empire!"

All their eyes were suddenly on me. This was the moment of truth, and a moment of great temptation. Iopened my mouth to speak. Darkover's future was a cause justifying all things, and we needed Dani.

But did I serve Darkover or my own private ends? Before the boy whose career was ruined by a misuseof power, I discovered I could not lie. I could not give Danilo the reassurance it would take to enlist hisaid, then frantically try to find some way to make the lie true.

I said, "Beltran, your aims are good and I trust them. But we cannot do it with the matrix we have towork with. Not with Sharra, Beltran. It is impossible, completely impossible."

Kadarin swung around. I had seen his rage only once before, turned on Beltran. Now it was turned onme, and it struck me like a blow. "What folly is this, Lew? You told me Sharra has all the power wecould possibly need!"

I tried to barrier that assault and hold my own wrath firmly under control. The unleashed anger of an Alton can kill, and this man was my dear friend. I said, "Power, yes, all the power we could ever need,for this work or any. But it's essentially uncontrollable. It's been used as a weapon and now it's unfit foranything but a weapon. It is-" I hesitated, trying to formulate my vague impressions. "It's hungry forpower and destruction."

"Comyn superstition again!" Thyra flung at me. "A matrix is a machine. No more and no less."

"Most matrices, perhaps," I said, "though I am beginning to think that even at Arilinn we know far too little of them to use them as recklessly as we do. But this one is more." I hesitated again, struggling for words for a knowledge, an experience which was basically beyond words. "It brings something into our world which is not of this world at all. It belongs to other dimensions, other places or spaces. It's a gateway, and once it's opened, it's impossible to shut completely." I looked from face to face. "Can't you see what it's doing to us?" I pleaded. "It's rousing recklessness, a failure of caution, a lust for power-" I had felt it myself, the temptation to lie ruthlessly to Regis and Danilo, just to enlist their aid. "Thyra,

THE HERITAGE OF HASTUR

303

you know what you did under its impulse, and your foster-father lies dead. I'll never believe you would

have done that, knowingly, on your own! It's so much stronger than we are, it's playing with us like toys!"

Kadarin said, "Desideria used it with none of this fuss."

Page 219

"But she used it as a weapon," I said, "and in a righteous cause. She had no wish for personal power, so that it could not take her and corrupt her, as it has done with us; she gave it over to the forge-folk, to lie unused and harmless on their altars."

Beltran said harshly, "Are you saying it has corrupted meT

I looked squarely at him and said, "Yes. Even your father's death has not made you see reason."

Kadarin said, "You talk like a fool, Lew. I hadn't expected this sort of whining cant from you. If we havethe power to give Darkover its place in the Empire, how can we shrink from anything we must do?"

"My friend," I pleaded, "listen to me. We cannot use Sharra's matrix for the kind of controlled power you wish to show the Terrans. It cannot be used to power a spaceship; I would not trust it even to control the helicopter now. It is a weapon, only a weapon, and it is not weapons we need. It is technology."

Kadarin's smile was fierce. "But if a weapon is all we have, then we will use that weapon to get what wemust from the Terrans! Once we show them what we can do with it-"

My spine iced over with a deadly cold. I saw again the vision: flames rising from Caer Donn, the greatform of fire bending down with a finger of destruction.,..

"No!" I almost shouted. "I'll have nothing to do with it!"

I rose and looked around the circle, saying desperately, "Can't you see how this has corrupted us? Wasit for war, for murder, for violence, blackmail, rum, that we forged our link in such love and harmony? Was this your dream, Beltran, when we spoke together of a better world?"

He said savagely, "If we must fight, it will be the fault of the Terrans for denying us our rights! I wouldrather do it peacefully, but if they force us to fight them-"

Kadarin, coming and laying his hands on my shoulders with real affection said, "Lew, you're foolishlysqueamish. Once they know what we can do, there will certainly be no need to do it. But it places us in aposition of equal power with the Terrans for once. Can't you see? Even if we never

304

Marion Zimmer Bradley

THE HERITAGE OF HASTUR

305

use it, we must have the power, simply in order to control the situation and not be forced to submit!"

I knew what he was trying to say, but I could see the fatal flaw. I said, "Bob, we cannot bluff with

Sharra. It wants ruin and destruction ... can't you feel that?"

"It is like the sword in the fairy tale," Rafe said. "Remember what it said on the scabbard? 'Draw me

never unless I may drink blood.'"

Page 220

We swung to look at the child and he smiled nervously under all our eyes.

"Rafe's right," I said harshly. "We can't loose Sharra unless we really mean to use it, and no sane human

beings would do that."

Kadarin said, "Marjorie. You're the Keeper. Do you believe this superstitious drivel?"

Her voice was not steady, but she stretched her hand to me. "I believe Lew knows more about matricesthan any of us, or all of us together. You pledged, Bob, you swore to De-sideria to be guided by Lew'sjudgment. I won't work against it."

Beltran said, "You're both part-Terran! Are you two on their side then, against Darkover?"

I gasped at the old slur. I would never have believed it of Beltran. Marjorie flared. "It was you, yourself,who pointed out not a moment ago that we are all Terran! There is no 'side,' only a common good for all! Does the left hand chop off the right?"

I felt Marjorie struggle for control, felt Kadarin, too, fighting to overcome his flaming anger. I hadconfidence stil! in his integrity, when he took the tune to control that vicious rage which was the one chinkin the strong armor of his will.

Kadarin spoke gently at last: "Lew, I know there is some truth hi what you say. I trust you, bredu." Theword moved me more that I could express. "But what alternative have we, my friend? Are you trying tosay that we should simply give up our plans, our hopes, our dream? It was your dream, too. Must weforget what we all believed in?"

"The Gods forbid," I said, shaken. "It is not the dream I would see put aside, only Sharra's part in it."

Then I appealed directly to Beltran. He was the one I must convince.

"Let Sharra go back to the forge-folk's keeping. They have held it harmless all these years. No, kinsman, hear me out," I pleaded. "Do this, and I will go to Arilinn; I will speak with telepaths at Hali, at Neskaya and Corandolis and Dalereuth.

Other books

The Humbling by Philip Roth
Untrained Fascination by Viola Grace
Birdie For Now by Jean Little
A Fatal Winter by G. M. Malliet
Time Is a River by Mary Alice Monroe
Dreaming of Mr. Darcy by Victoria Connelly
Connie Mason by The Black Knight
Victims by Jonathan Kellerman