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“You are my wife in Empire law, wherever we go,” he repeated. He added, gently, “We may have to

leave Darkover, though.”

She nodded, biting her lip. The Comyn might be as anxious, now, to have Jeff deported as, before, theyhad been anxious to prevent it.

Kerwin secretly felt it would be better that way. Darkover could never be, for either of them, more thana reminder of what they had lost. And there were worlds enough, out there.

Nervously, he approached the barrier. He might, just possibly, be taken into custody as a man undersentence of deportation. There were certain legal formalities he could invoke, appeal, delays to which hewas legitimately entitled. It hadn’t seemed worth it, for himself. For Elorie, he would do all he could toevade the summary judgment, turn it in his favor.

The tall Spaceforce man in black leather stared at Kerwin’s shabby Terran clothing, at the shrinking,veiled girl on his arm. He glanced at Jeff’s identity certification.

“And the woman?”

“My wife. We were married in Port Chicago three days ago.”

“I see,” said the Spaceforce man, slowly. “In that case there are certain formalities.”

“Just as you like.”

“If you’ll come inside the HQ, please.”

He led them inside, Jeff squeezing Elorie’s arm reassuringly. He tried to hide the apprehension he felt. The marriage would have to be recorded through Records, and once Jeff surrendered his identification,the computer would immediately come up with the information that he was under sentence of deportationand suspension.

He had considered returning to the Terran Zone anonymously, at least for a day or two. But the

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peculiarity of Empire law concerning native women and marriage made that unthinkable. She had insisted, when he explained, that she did not care. But Jeff said firmly, asserting himself over her protest for the first time, “
 
I
care,” and had left her no room for argument.

The Empire Civil Service consists largely of single men; few Terran women care to accompany their menhalfway across the Galaxy. This means that on every planet liaisons with native women, both formal andinformal, are taken for granted. To avoid endless complications with various planetary governments, the Empire makes a very clear distinction.

An Empire citizen may marry any woman, on any planet, by the laws of her own world and her owncustoms; it is a matter between the individual Terran, the woman, her family, and the laws under whichshe lives. The Empire has no part in it. Whether the marriage is formal or informal, temporary orpermanent, or no marriage at all, is a matter for the private ethical and moral standards of the partiesinvolved. And that man is carried as single on the Records of the Empire, making such provision for hiswife as he privately chooses; although he may, if he wishes, file for citizenship for any child of themarriage, and obtain certain privileges for him. As the elder Jeff Kerwin had done for his son.

But if he chooses to register the marriage through Terran records, or signs any Empire documentspeaking of any native woman on any world, legally, as his wife, she is so in fact. From the moment theirmarriage contract was signed, and went through the Records, Elorie was entitled legally to all theprivileges of a citizen; and if Jeff had died in the next breath after signing, she would still have beenentitled to all the privileges of a citizen’s widow. Kerwin was uncertain as to what the future would hold;but he had wanted to protect Elorie and provide for her in this way. Words spoken in bitterness still rangin his ears and turned up in his nightmares.

In the old days it would have been death for you, Elorie
—
 
and death by torture for him
 
! And anold terror was upon him. There were those who might feel compelled to avenge the honor of a Keeper.

Kennard had said—what had Kennard said? Nothing. But still, Jeff was afraid without knowing why. Sohe watched with relief as a registry clerk took his thumbprint, and Elorie’s, and tapped out informationfor Records. Now there was no way for the long arm of the Comyn to reach out and snatch Elorie fromhim.

He hoped.

Watching the details disappear into the computer, he was sure he had set trouble in motion for himself. Within a few hours he would have questions to answer, he might have to face deportation. He had a bloton his record, but he was a civilian, after all, and leaving his job without formal permission was only aminor offense against his seniority, not a crime. Somehow, he had to arrange to make a living. He had todecide whether to go to Terra or take a chance on another world—he was fairly sure his Terrangrandparents wouldn’t really welcome Elorie—but all those details could wait.

Most of his knowledge of Thendara was of bars and similar places, where he couldn’t take Elorie. Hecould have claimed quarters in the HQ, putting in a requisition for married personnel, but he wouldn’t dothat until he had to. Equally unwise would be to find quarters in the Old Town—he had had a taste in Arilinn of how the Comyn were treated when recognized. A hotel in the Trade City was the obvioustemporary solution.

He pointed out to her, as they passed, the Spaceman’s Orphanage. “That’s where I lived until I wastwelve years old,” he said, and let the silent puzzlement strike him again:
 
Or did I? Why, then, did theplace have no records of me
 
?

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“Elorie,” he asked, when they were alone in their hotel, “did the Comyn have anything to do with destroying my records in the Orphanage?” A matrix, he supposed, could easily wipe out the data on a computer. At least, with what he knew of computers and matrixes, he could easily have devised a way to do it.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I do know we got Auster back from them when he was a small child, and
 
his

records were destroyed.”

Kennard had referred to that as a curious story, and had implied that he would tell Jeff about itsometime. But he hadn’t.

Long after Elorie slept, he lay awake at her side, thinking about the false leads and blind alleys that hadobscured his search for his own background. When the Comyn found him, he had abandoned thesearch—after all, he had found out the main thing he wanted to know; where he belonged. But therewere still mysteries to be solved, and before he left Darkover forever—and he supposed, now, that wasonly a matter of time—he was going to have a last try at solving them.

He told Elorie a little, the next day.

“There was no record of me there; I saw what the machine gave out. But if I could get into the place and

check—there might even be someone there, one of the matrons or teachers, who remembered me.”

“Would it be dangerous—to try and get in?”

“Not dangerous to life or limb, no. But I could be arrested for trespassing, or for breaking and entering.

I wish to hell I knew a way a matrix could make me invisible.”

Her smile was faint. “I could barricade you— throw what they call a
 
glamour
 
over you, so you couldpass in among them unseen.” She sighed. “It is unlawful for a Keeper who has given back her oath to useher powers. But I have broken so many laws already. And certain powers—I have lost.”

She looked pale and wretched, and Kerwin felt his heart turn over at the thought of what she had givenup for him. But why should it make so much difference? He would not ask, but she picked the questionup directly from his mind, and said, “I do not know. I—I have always been told that a Keeper mustbe—must be virgin, and resigns her powers if she gives back her oath and takes a lover, or a husband.”

Kerwin was startled by her acceptance of this; she had defied so many superstitions, had refused toaccept her ritual authority, had hated the word
 
sorceress
 
when applied to her. But this one, perhaps, wasso deeply ingrained in her that she could not resist it.

Kennard had called it superstitious rubbish. But whether she had really lost her powers, or only believedshe had, the effect would be much the same. And perhaps there was some truth it, too. He knew theterrible exhaustion and nervous drain of matrix work, even on his newcomer level. Kennard hadcounseled him to avoid sex for some time before serious work in the screens. It made sense that the Keepers must remain always at the peak of strength, guarding their powers in seclusion, sparing noenergies for any other ties or concerns.

He remembered the day she had collapsed in the matrix screens; how he had thought her heart hadstopped. Kerwin took her in his arms, holding her tight, thinking:
 
At least she is safe from that, now
 
!

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But he had touched her, that day; had lent her strength. Had that contact destroyed her as Keeper?

“No,” she said quietly, knowing his thoughts as she so often did. “From the first moment I touched you through the matrix, I knew that you would be— someone special, someone who would trouble my peace; but I was proud. I thought I could keep my control. And there was Taniquel; I envied her, but I knew you would not be too much alone.” Her eyes suddenly brimmed over.

“I shall miss Tani,” she said softly. “I wish it could have been different, that we could have—could have

left in a way that would not leave them hating us. Tani is so dear to me.”

“You aren’t jealous? Because she and I—”

She laughed a little. “Oh, you Terrans! No, darling. If things were different, if we could have lived amongour own people, I would willingly have called her
 
bredhis
 
, it would have been Tani that I chose for yourbed if I were ill or pregnant—does that seem so shocking to you?”

He kissed her, without speaking. Darkovan customs were idealistic, but they took some getting used to.

And he was just as glad to have Elorie to himself.

But that made him think of something else.

“Taniquel was no virgin, certainly. And yet she worked in the matrix circle—”

“Taniquel was not a Keeper,” Elorie said soberly, “and she was never required to do a Keeper’s work, never required to gather the energons of the circle and direct them. Such vows, and such—such abstinence—were not required of her, nor of Neyrissa, no more than of any of the men. And a few generations ago—in the time of the Forbidden Tower —there was a Keeper who left Arilinn to marry, and continued to use her powers; it was a great scandal; I do not know all the story, it was such a tale as they did not tell to children. And I do not know how she did it.” Quickly, as if she feared he would question further, she said, “Some things, I am sure, I can still do with my own matrix. Let me try.”

But when she had taken it from the tiny leather case in which she kept it, wrapped in its insulating silks,she hesitated.

“I feel so strange. Not like myself. I don’t seem to —to belong to myself any more.”

“You belong to me,” Kerwin said firmly, and she smiled.

“Are your Terran wives property? No, I think not, love; I belong to myself; but I will willingly share

every moment of my life with you,” she said.

“Is there a difference?” Kerwin asked.

Her soft laugh always delighted him. “To you, perhaps not. To me, it is very important. If I had wishedto be some man’s property, I could have wedded someone before I was out of childhood, and wouldnever have gone to the Tower.” She took the matrix in her hand; but Kerwin saw the tentative way inwhich she touched it, contrasting her hesitation with the sureness she had shown in the matrix chamber. She was frightened! He wanted to tell her he didn’t give a damn, put it away, he didn’t want her to touchthe accursed thing—she was too precious to risk—and then he saw her eyes.

Elorie loved him. She had given up her whole world for him, all she was and all she could have been.

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Even now, Kerwin knew, he had only the dimmest, outsider’s perception of what it meant to be a

Keeper. If she needed this, he had to let her try. Even if it killed her, he had to let her try.

“But promise me, Elorie,” he said, taking her shoulders in his hands and tipping her head back to look

into her eyes, “no risks. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t try.”

He felt that she hardly heard him. Her slight fingers curved around the matrix; her face was distant andabstracted. She said, not to him, “The shape of the air here is different, we are among the mountains; Imust be careful not to interfere with his breathing.” She moved her head, an imperious small signal, andhe felt her drop into rapport; intangibly, like a caress.

I don’t know how long I can hold it, when there are Terrans around, but I will try. There. Jeff,look in the mirror.

He rose and looked into the mirror. He could see Elorie perfectly well, in her thin grey dress, her brighthair bent over the matrix in her hand; but he could not see himself. He looked down; he could see himselfperfectly well, but he did not reflect in the mirror.

“But, but, I can see myself—”

“Oh, yes, and if anyone bumps into you, they will know perfectly well that you are there,” she said with a sting of a smile. “You have not become a ghost, my love of a barbarian, I have only changed the look of the air around you, for a little while. But I think it will hold long enough for you to get into the orphanage unseen.”