NOLA (17 page)

“It sounds more like my bachelor days’ breakfasts than a musical.”

“Actually, it’s a musical based on the woes of a househusband.”

“I’d love to see the sketches,” Mia said, “And then I’m going to call Ted.”

“Tell you what, call Ted first, and I’m going to wash this stuff off and put on my night mask.”

“That’s your third mask.  Your skin is going to get confused,” Mia warned.

“I can’t help having combination skin,” Ralph said, walking into the bathroom.

Mia dialed Ted’s cell phone.

“Hello, Minnie Mouse.  We could sure use you here,” he said quickly.  “We have a building full of ghosties.  Most are kind, but there is a nasty one, kind of a bully, and all of them want to stay.”

“Hello to you too, Teddy Bear,” Mia said laughing.

“Mrs. Braverman has installed a webcam over Brian’s crib.”

“Yes, I heard.  Mind sending me a link?”

“Are you going through Brian withdrawal too?”

“I’m going through Martin men withdrawal,” Mia admitted.

“How was your day, dear?” he asked.

“Eventful, yours?”

“Oh you know, a little of this and that,” he said a little too casually.

“I can see I’ll have a lot to catch up on when I get back.”

“Any chance on an early release?”

“I’ll talk to the warden, but don’t get your hopes up.  There is something going on down here that I may have to look into before I can leave.  If I’m lucky, I can get a handle on it, hand it over to the locals, and still make my flight two days after tomorrow.”

“How does it feel?” Ted asked.

“How does what feel?” Mia asked, confused.

“Being a career woman.”

“Is that what you call this?  Teddy Bear, I’m not making any money – although, I could if I had less scruples.”

“I like your scruples,” Ted said in a low sexy voice.

“I like your scruples too,” Mia returned.  “I miss you so much.  You do so much for me.  Watching the video feeds so I don’t get snuck up on, running interference with Burt, and putting up with Murphy,” she listed.  “I know that can’t be easy.”

“Murphy is doing a great job here.  We’re playing a lot of charades, and he’s communicating.  It’s a struggle, but we’re managing.  You make all the difference between guessing and knowing, Mia.”

“Why thank you, but I assure you, I do a lot of guessing too,” she confided.  “I sure could use you guys down here.”

“We sure could use you up here,” he said.  “I wish that Burt didn’t take this case until you were available.”

“You said it yourself, he thought it was, at best, a residual haunt.”

“True, Cid and I had most of the librarian’s claims debunked when we found out they were real.”

“Life can be surprising.”

“In this case, death.”

Ted gave Mia the url for the crib cam, and they shared some endearments that had Ralph returning to the bathroom red-faced.

~

Mrs. Braverman had left the nightlight on in the nursery.  The soft, warm light filled the room, and Mia could see the sleeping form of her child.  She wanted to reach into her smart phone and gather her child into her arms.  “Isn’t he beautiful?” she said, handing the phone to Ralph.

Ralph studied the sleeping infant for a moment.  “He is beautiful, Mia.  But wouldn’t handsome be a better adjective?”

“Oh, no, not you too.  He has the Martin nose, but it looks good on him,” she said, taking the phone away from her godparent.

Ralph put an arm around Mia.  “I was just teasing. He is a beautiful baby.”

“I can’t believe that all that goodness came out of me,” Mia mused.  “He’s made me a better person.”

“Impossible, you’ve always been a good person,” Ralph argued.

“Oh, you.  You’re biased.”

“And hungry.  How about some room service and a movie to get our minds off of the day and missing our loved ones?”

“You’re missing Bernard, aren’t you?”

“Oh, a tad.  We’re used to having to be apart.  My work demands I spend a lot of time in other cities, and Bernard has been tied to the museum since they lost the last director.”

“I’m surprised it has taken so long to promote someone.”

“Politics and patrons make the job very hard to fill.”

“I take it Bernard doesn’t want it.”

“No, he wants to retire, maybe consult part-time.  The extra money is nice, but it’s making an old man out of him. He almost has a full head of gray hair.”

“He looks very distinguished.”

“He’s too young.  I tried to convince him to see my stylist, and he laughed at me.”

“I don’t think Bernard is into peeling back the years. I think he likes to embrace them,” Mia said.  “I, myself, had a bit of a melt down before you came.  I’ve discovered that I’m vain.”

Ralph almost dropped the handset he picked up to call for room service.  “Hold on a moment.  Let me order, then I want you to tell me all about it.”

Mia did as she was told.  Ralph talked to the kitchen while brewing some coffee.  By the time he was finished with his order, he had two mugs of decaf spiked with something from the ornate flask he carried.

Mia sniffed the cup and set it down.  “Ralph, I don’t drink decaf.”

“You do tonight.  It’s late.  Now tell me what happened and why you think you’re vain?”

Ralph was reduced to tears after he had laughed himself out.  Mia was a bit perturbed about his reaction to her crisis.  “Really, this is the last time I talk to you,” she pouted.

“Oh, my sweet little Mia, you aren’t vain.  You’re normal.  Finally, a part of you that can be classified as normal.  We all have fears that if we lose our looks, our men are going to look elsewhere.  But Ted’s not going anywhere.  He’s so gaga over you that I’m surprised he let you go on this trip alone.  The pregnancy has rounded the sharp corners off of you.  You are more beautiful now than when you were a teenager.  Why do you think I buy you clothes all the time?  It’s a pleasure to dress you.  I watch the dressers on the musicals struggle to get the young ladies to be half as beautiful as you are in those boys’ clothes you insist on.”

“They’re comfortable and necessary.  You try carrying a sawed-off shotgun in a Marc Jacobs shift.”

“Good point.  Hmmm, I wonder if some of the costume designs we used for the musical
The Mummy Comes a Knocking
could be just the thing.  Soft, feminine but full of hidden pockets and sexy boots.  Oh, Mia, to have your calves,” he swooned.  “You don’t know how lucky you are.  Most petite girls have to suffer… cankles.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Cancles, you know, calf-ankles.”

“Ralph, that’s rather insensitive.”

“Oh look at you, Miss
Sensitive
.”  Ralph put his hand to his mouth and burst out laughing.  “Mia, I honestly didn’t…  Oh, come on, it was punny!”

Mia let herself go and laughed heartily.

A brisk knock on the door brought the two of them to their senses. Mia worried that they had been too loud, and it was their neighbor complaining.  But Ralph, who had spent a lot of time in hotels, instinctively knew the knock of a room service waiter.

“Come in, come in,” he said in a sing-song voice.

Mia sat back and marveled at the efficiency of the gentleman who set up the table and pulled the chairs around so they could view the movie while they ate.  He paused a moment when he looked at Mia.

“Excuse me, miss, but you look just like Mia Cooper on PEEPs.”

“That’s because I am Mia Cooper, er Mia Martin now,” Mia said pleasantly.

“Oh my god!  Martin?  You didn’t marry Whitney did you?”

“No, the other Martin, Ted.  Do you mind me asking how you know all about this?”

“It was in GEM,
Ghosts, Entities and Mediums
magazine.”

“I’ve never heard of this magazine,” Mia said honestly.

“It’s kind of a rag, but I love the gossip,” the young man confessed.  “Are you here filming?”

“No, on another matter.  PEEPs are up north filming a library that has almost as many ghosts as books,” she said.

“A scoop!  Would you mind if I sent this in?  GEM is always looking for information on the professional ghost hunting groups.”

“No, go ahead.  I’d like to see a copy of this magazine. You wouldn’t have one handy, would you?”

“In my locker.  I go on break in fifteen minutes.  I’ll bring it up in exchange for your autograph.”

Mia nodded, stunned that anyone would want her signature on anything other than a check.

Ralph signed for the food, and as soon as the waiter left, he said, “Put that sandwich down!  We don’t have time for that.  I’ve got to get you into selfie condition.  You know he’s going to bring his cell phone with him.”

“But I’m hungry.”

“Tough, this is the price you have to pay for fame.  First, let me get that unibrow straightened out.”

“I do not have a unibrow!”

“A few strays in person isn’t a problem, but on those cameras, it becomes a unibrow,” Ralph claimed.

“Did the waiter say
professional
ghost hunting group?” Mia asked.

“He did.  Mia, where have you been? PEEPs is highly regarded.”

“I don’t know. I kind of liked that we were amateurs.”

“Being regarded as an amateur isn’t going to pay the bills,” Ralph pointed out, handing Mia her discarded bra she’d had on when she arrived.  “Come on, don’t make a face.  The girls are sagging.  Think of your public!”

Mia took the bra and walked into the bathroom obediently.  “Come on, lefty, you’ve got some perkin’ up to do.”

Chapter Twelve

After the movie, Mia decided to go back to her own room.  She didn’t want GEM to get the idea that the sensitive was shacking up with Ralph.  She let herself into her room and took in the view a moment before sliding under the covers.  It wasn’t long before she was asleep.

“Mia, my pet, it’s time to wake up,” a familiar, buttery voice intruded into her dream.

She opened her eyes to the dark room and sat up.

“Over here, little bird,” Judge Roumain teased.

Mia followed his voice to the large mirror.  “Oh no, no
Alice Through the Looking Glass
for me, I’m tired.”

“Come, it’s time we talked.”

“I can barely move…”

The overwhelming, rich aroma of Columbian coffee rolled out of the mirror.  Mia sniffed and moved towards the glass as if in a trance.

She found herself in a tiny room, and on the table was a cup of coffee and a sign that read
Drink Me.
  “Cut it out, Roumain,” Mia ordered.

All but the cup of coffee vanished.  Mia had rescued it as the table started to fade.  She held the cup in both hands as the familiar Haitian graveyard took its place.  Sitting like royalty, perched on a headstone was Judge Roumain.  His top hat and formal, immaculate attire fitted the handsome entity to a T.  Mia suspected this was more magic than tailoring but kept her opinion to herself.

“Welcome, we have much to discuss.” He motioned Mia over to a moss-covered grave marker.  “Sit.”

Mia knew better than to resist this entity.  She walked over, feeling the cool moss on the bottoms of her bare feet.  She sat down and sipped the coffee.  The caffeine sped through her veins, and the last tendrils of sleepiness faded away.  She sighed.

“Better?”

“Much better.  I’ve had a hell of day, you?”

“Oh, my day’s been interesting.  Trying to convince these souls that they don’t need to do penance is tiring.”

“Really? Aren’t you afraid of losing your job?”

“Oh, no, the place is quite crowded.  I can barely move around without touching a guilt-ridden soul.  But that’s not why I brought you here - although souls are the common denominator.”

“I met Alexei and heard his claims.”

Roumain nodded.  “Alexei is the most unusual ghost, don’t you think?”

“He’s different.  He said you would tell me about soul eaters.”

“On my side of the veil, there are entities who watch your world with rabid fascination.  They seek out the weak and enslave them for their own amusement.  They barter souls to gain power.  Souls are a valuable commodity here.”

“If they are valuable, why are you trying to get rid of yours?” Mia asked.

“I don’t own these people; I just provide a place in which they can sort themselves out until they are ready to move on,” Roumain told her.

“Oh.”

“Things aren’t simple like they are in your world.”

“My world is simple?  I would hate to see what you call complex.”

The judge adjusted his cuffs with his elegant, long fingers.  “Soul eaters were a way of destroying the competition’s hoard.  They were invented by the old ones.  However, they soon fell out of vogue as the souls simply disappeared, leaving the players destitute and hungry.  In your world, a few shamans and medicine men still called upon these things to help their tribes in battle, but they could not control them, and quite a few became victims of the very thing they called upon. We thought the practice had died out with the last of the conjurers, until someone in N’awlins activated a soul eater portal.”

“Why would someone do that?”

“Power, idiocy. Perhaps it was done unknowingly.”

“Can you explain how this is done, so I can undo it?” Mia asked.

“You’re a brave girl to try.  I caution you not to, but I don’t think you listen to old Judge Roumain anymore, so I’ll explain the process.”

“It’s not that I don’t listen to you.  It’s that I resent you interfering in my life.”

“Ah, Dad, leave me alone,” Judge Roumain mimed a surly teenager.

Mia set her cup down and glared at the entity.  “It’s not that I don’t appreciate you for saving me from bondage with the birdmen.  Or for keeping me out of the dark world, but you could have simply said, ‘Mia, Don’t go in there,’ not get me knocked up.  Don’t get me wrong, the sex was wonderful, and I love little Brian, but there are easier ways to communicate with me.  And where the hell were you when the
Other
was trying to enslave me?”

The judge rubbed his chin.  “I can’t interfere with the business of collecting souls.  It’s just not done.  It did give your aunt the opportunity to step up though,” he said.  Roumain smiled, and his even teeth glistened with health.