Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5) (18 page)

M
egan knelt, waiting for Ryder to return. She hoped he’d return soon. He would. She trusted him.

Would he ask her to remove her clothes at some point? At least her surgery had been done laparoscopically. Only tiny scars remained from her four surgeries.

She wanted to feel his callused hand and whatever toys he brought to play with rubbing against her bare skin. Her face flushed thinking about what he might introduce her to on their first night.

Her nipples strained against her bra. The thought of him pinching them to even harder peaks made her wet between her legs. Dear God, just thinking about him and what he might do had her near the point of an orgasm. How would she last if he chose to torment her too long?

His footsteps sounded in the hallway, and she straightened her back even more, worried she might have slacked off from maintaining the position he’d asked her to hold. She wanted him to be impressed with her eagerness to please, at least. The thought of disappointing him made her stomach churn.

“Very pretty, Baby. You did well.”

Her nervousness dissipated at his words of approval. She met his gaze. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Where is your gaze supposed to be?”

“Oh, I forgot!” She stared at the invisible spot on the floor about where he’d indicated earlier.

“It takes time to learn discipline, Megan, but try to concentrate on the few commands I give you. I will try not to overload you all at once.”

Those words made it sound like tonight was only the beginning. God, she hoped so.

“Now, I want you to avert your gaze and look at the window.”

As she followed his new command, Ryder proceeded to the bed. It was dark outside, but she wasn’t asked to look
out
the window, just
at
it. She listened for the sound of chains or metal clanking, but heard nothing. A few minutes later, he pulled the chair from the desk closer to where she knelt and sat down. She started to look toward him, but remembered she needed to wait for instructions.

This submission stuff was harder than she’d anticipated.

“Look at me, Baby.”

She turned her head toward him. If he kept calling her Baby, she was going to lose her heart. Red was a fun nickname, but Baby just made her melt.

“Are you feeling any discomfort?”

She brought her focus back. “Well, now that you ask, my knees hurt.”

He reached onto the bed and tossed a pillow onto the floor. “Crawl onto the pillow and turn your body toward me when you get back into position.”

She complied and waited. He had removed his shirt and donned a leather vest. His chest muscles peeked from between the lapels of the vest, making her want to reach out and see if they were as firm as they appeared to be. His abdominals were just as ripped. The man hadn’t let his body go to pot after his service ended.

She became aware of his scrutiny and waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. His gaze made her aware of her body in ways she never had been before, and she hoped he saw something he liked. Her breasts were tiny, and her waist thicker than she’d like. He couldn’t see her hips, but he seemed to enjoy the view when they were down at the Rio Guadalupe wading in the water.

As he continued to stare in silence, she felt her nipples grow hard again. She’d never had a problem with them being so responsive before, but they seemed to react to Ryder at the drop of a hat.

He reached out and pinched them, and she gasped, not expecting such intimate contact so soon.

“Your breasts are beautiful.”

Should she answer him? It really wasn’t a question or command.

“How would you feel about baring them for me?”

Her stomach flip-flopped. “I…I would like that, Sir.”

“Remove your tank top.”

She brought her hands forward, not expecting them to be so stiff. How long had she been in this position? Not wanting to disappoint him, though, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. Her shirt having the bra cups sewn in, she was bared to him in one fell swoop. The cool air brushed over her skin, and her nipples bunched even tighter.

Once again, he reached out, brushing his knuckles over her bared peaks. “Very nice. I’d like to clamp them. Would that be a limit for you?”

“I’m not sure what my limits are yet. I haven’t tried anything. I don’t think I like whips or knives.” Would he have thought of using his lethal-looking knife on her if she hadn’t put that on her list of limits? She shuddered. “Needles would be out of the question. I can’t even stand getting shots or having blood drawn.”

“What else would be your limit? Would you enjoy being spanked bare bottom?”

Not even her parents had spanked her. “I’m not sure. But I could try, and if it’s a problem, I’ll just say scarlet.”

“Good girl. You remembered your safeword to stop. You also can have a word to tell me you need to slow down. Yellow is common. It’s easy to remember from traffic signals. Any time you use scarlet or yellow, we’ll stop and discuss what you’re experiencing and how to proceed—or not.”

“Okay.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

She didn’t think so. Scarlet to stop everything. Yellow to slow down.
Oh, crap!

“Sir! I keep forgetting.”

He laughed, letting her know he wasn’t annoyed. “You’re actually doing better than most newbie subs would.”

Without warning, he took her nipples between his index and middle fingers and squeezed harder than before. This time, he pulled her toward him by her nipples. She tried to hold her position until the pain became too much, and she leaned forward to ease the tension.

“Did I give you permission to move?”

“No, but it hurt.”

“Why didn’t you use one of your safewords?”

“To be honest, I didn’t think about them in the moment.”

He stood up and walked away, and she thought he was going to end their session. She wanted to plead with him to give her another chance, but didn’t want to appear whiny, either.

Soon he returned carrying two spring clothespins. “We’ll have to work on getting you to think about using them rather than disobeying my command.”

She had no clue how the clothespins were going to help, but at least he was willing to work with her even after she messed up. “I’ll try to do better, Sir.”

“Thank you. Why don’t we test your pain limits? It will help me to know how far to take you.”

“Sure.”

“Is that how you address your Top?”

“Oh, sorry. I mean, yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.” He reached out and clamped a clothespin onto her already sensitive nipple. The pressure surprised her, but didn’t hurt after the first pinch.

“Does that hurt?”

“No. Well, at first. Now it feels…kind of nice, Sir.”

“Thank you for your honesty.”

He placed a clothespin on her right nipple, and it grew more swollen. The pressure made them pinch even more, but she tried to smile through the pain. She wanted to please him and not wimp out.

When he reached out and pinched both clothespins harder on her nipples, she bit her lip. Holding them so they wouldn’t slip off, he pulled her nipples toward him.

Ow-ow-ow!

He continued to torture her nipples until tears rolled down her face. “Yellow!”

“I wasn’t sure you would ever give in. Why did you go beyond your obvious limits?”

“I…wanted to be a good submissive, Sir.”

“Don’t ignore your body’s limits. That will please me more.”

Crap
. She’d messed up.

“Stand.”

He held out his hand to help her to her feet and wrapped his arm around her until he was certain she was steady.

“Thank you, Sir.”

“It’s a Dom’s job to take care of his submissive’s needs.”

“Well, I appreciate it.” She smiled at him.

He walked toward the bed again and came back to stand behind her. His lips were close to her ear when he whispered, “How do you feel about blindfolds?”

A frisson of electricity ran down her spine at his nearness. “I don’t have a problem with my sleep mask.”

“How about when you aren’t in control of when it goes on or comes off?”

“Well, you blindfolded me on our hike this afternoon with your hands, and I found that…exciting.”

“Interesting.” Without another word, he placed a cloth over her eyes. It seemed to have an elastic band like her sleep mask, but then he took a scarf or tie or something and placed that over the first blindfold. He really didn’t want her to see anything!

He tightened it into a knot at the back of her hair, pulling some of the strands, but she didn’t complain. “Too tight?”

“No, Sir. Just right.” His hands lowered to her breasts again, and he cupped them from underneath almost reverently.

“Beautiful. Perfect. Now, I think you’ve worn these long enough for the first time. Prepare yourself.”

She had no idea what he meant, but he pinched open the clothespin on the left nipple first. When he pulled it away, her nipple became engorged. She screamed in pain, but he rubbed the nipple with the palm of his hand to quickly disperse the pain. When he reached for the right one and began to pinch it, she tensed.

His fingers stopped just when the nipple began to swell. “Breathe, Baby.”

“Please, just hurry and take it off!”

“I. Said. Breathe.”

She drew a quick breath.

“Again. Deeper this time.”

Wanting him to remove the offending pin as fast as possible, she did so again. He squeezed the clothespin, and once again pain shot from her nipples throughout her chest.

“Crap, that hurts!” His hand brushed the nipple again as he’d done before, and the pain faded.

Ryder cupped her breasts again almost reverently and bent toward her cheek where he placed a kiss. “You did well, Baby.”

The pain eased even more at his words of praise, and she smiled. “Thank you.”

“If we have further sessions together, we’ll push your boundaries for pain.”

While she couldn’t imagine taking any more pain than she had today, often going beyond her limits, the thought of future sessions with him made her happy. “I’d like to have more sessions together, Sir.”

“We’ll see.”

She wanted to groan at those noncommittal words.

He stepped away, and his body heat deserted her. “Now remove your shorts, but leave the panties on.”

At least
this
session wasn’t over yet. She grinned. “Yes, Sir!”

“And you are to remain silent unless asked a direct question or you need to use your safeword. Is that clear?”

Her heart raced in anticipation of what this night would hold. She would never be the same after this.

“Yes, I understand.”

When he saw the lacy thong she wore instead of panties, he probably was going to wish he hadn’t given her this command, but she tried not to clue him in to her secret. She only hoped he would enjoy looking at her body as much as she enjoyed his.

Chapter Fourteen

M
egan pleased him with her progress. He hadn’t been sure he’d remember how to dominate a woman anymore. The last time had been so long ago. While Ryder was stationed at Camp Pendleton in the late nineties, he’d studied the art of Dominance with Jerry Patterson, a Vietnam vet who ran a private BDSM club in Los Angeles. They’d kept in touch until Ryder had been deployed to Fallujah. With his marriage on the rocks after returning, once he’d been discharged, Ryder had headed back to New Mexico and lost touch with Jerry.