Nobody's Hero (21 page)

“I don’t need your permission, kitten. I’m
already using your body as I wish.” He released his hold on her
clit and began stroking her rapidly until her mewling whimpers told
him she neared the peak.

“Please, Sir. May I come?” She gasped for
air.

“No.”

Her groan of frustration made him throb. He
removed his hand and grabbed her hips again, pounding into her
mercilessly. “Oh, Adam. Please don’t make me wait!”

“What did you call me?” He ground the words
out between clenched teeth, but didn’t slow his pace. She felt so
fucking good sheathing his dick.

“I’m…sorry, Master. Your slave forgot
herself.”

What would it take for her to call off this
ridiculous arrangement?

Deprivation. If she enjoyed everything he
threw at her when it came to BDSM and rough sex, then deprivation
was the next weapon in his arsenal. He felt himself about to come,
but first ground out the words for her punishment. “Kitten…you are
not permitted to come.” His balls tightened, and his shaft began to
pulsate as his hot cum spurted inside her.

“Sir. I don’t understand.”

He heard the confusion and need in her voice
as he slammed into her, harder than before and heard her head bang
against the shower wall again.
Shit. Go easier on her,
jarhead.
He couldn’t let her get under his last defense. He
hated himself for it, and didn’t understand his need to push her
away while at the same time bury himself inside her.

“A slave never questions her Master. If you
don’t want this arrangement any longer, then safeword.” With a few
more strokes, he finished shooting his load inside her hot pussy.
His hand shook as he fought the urge to reach down and give her
pleasure, too. But depriving her of one orgasm wasn’t going to kill
her. He needed to show her being his slave meant he had total
control of her body. He needed to continue to show her how bad this
arrangement was for her until he could get her to fucking
safeword.

“Yes, Sir.”

Fuck, woman, why won’t you call this
off?
He already regretted how he’d just used her body. He’d
lost control. What the fuck was wrong with him? He pulled out of
her, reaching down to pull off the condom.
God damn it, no!
His dick was bare. He’d fucked her without protection. Again.

“This shower is over. Get dressed.”
Before
I go back on my word.

“Sir, I haven’t washed your back.”

“You aren’t going to, either.” She stood her
ground, raising her chin, and they locked eyes. He shivered at her
sudden power over him. “Go get dressed, Karla. Now!”

Shit
. He could have sworn he saw tears
in her eyes before she turned away and opened the shower door to
leave. He felt like ten kinds of a jerk for raising his voice and
treating her that way.
Only a poor excuse for a
Dom or Master raised his voice to command attention, which
obviously made him one
. He’d totally screwed up with Karla
and didn’t see how to undo the damage without getting himself more
attached emotionally. That wasn’t going to happen.

But at least she wasn’t standing in front of
him with her sexy tits, hot pussy, and those big blue, soulful
eyes. He reached over to the faucet and turned the hot water off.
The cold spray washed over him full force. He needed to regain
control of his overactive libido before he set foot outside this
shower and came anywhere near Karla again today. He should have
called her back, told her she’s doing a fine job as his slave, that
she’s so young and inexperienced, and that he’s…he’s what? A
complete dickwad for taking advantage of her surrender to him, of
her complete trust in him, of emotions that a jerk like him didn’t
deserve.

* * *

“You okay, Karla?” Cassie asked.

Karla kept her eyes on the road, not sure
what to say. Adam had told her not to say anything to Cassie about
their Master/slave arrangement—and she didn’t really want to share
that anyway. But he didn’t say she couldn’t talk about their
relationship in general.

“Adam and I had sex.” She couldn’t really
call it making love. It was raw, rough, and rugged sex, no doubt
about it. “It was pretty intense.”
And frightening. I feel so
empty now.
The feeling of melancholy she’d woken with this
morning hadn’t left her. But she wouldn’t give in to tears.

“I guess he’s doing better then, Kitty.”

Karla couldn’t resist a glance at her friend,
who smiled at her, but with sadness in her eyes. Unable to look at
her friend’s pain-filled eyes, she returned her attention to the
road ahead.

“I’m just glad your first time was better
than mine.”

Oh, Cassie
. Karla reached across the
seat and squeezed her friend’s hand. “Those bastards should have
been strung up by their balls.”

“Well, I’m afraid that would never happen,”
Cassie said. “Not in Latin America. They just won bragging rights
for life.”

Karla ached for her friend. When Cassie had
come back to New York to start their senior year, Karla had known
at first glance something awful had happened to her roommate and
friend. Dealing with the devastating aftermath of her friend’s
horrific gang rape had gotten both of them placed on probation as
their grades tanked that fall semester. But Cassie was so strong
and fought her way back. Well, up to a point. She’d never be the
fun-loving, carefree Cassie again, especially not around men.

“Adam scared me last night. I thought he was
going to hit you.”

“No, he’d never take his anger out on me.
He’d heard me screaming at Ian during our cleansing ceremony and
was just concerned about me.”

“Well, he has a funny way of showing it.”

Actually, he has a wonderful way of showing
it, when he lets his guard down. She remembered how he’d held her
after the Shibari session and how he’d cuddled her in his lap in
his office before they came upstairs.

“So, what happens next, Kitty? Have you
convinced him he can’t live without you?”

Her black mood descended again. “No. I’m not
sure what will happen next. I don’t think he wants me with him
anymore.” She remembered being kicked out of the shower this
morning and her eyes blurred. She found a pull off and parked.

Cassie reached out to her. “Want me to
drive?”

Karla shook her head. “Just give me a minute.
I’m having a really pissy day.”

Cassie released her seatbelt and leaned over
to give her a hug. More tears fell. “I can’t make him love me,
Cassie. I’ve tried to be what he wants, but it’s never enough.”

Cassie pushed her away and reached into her
bag to hand her a tissue. “Karla Paxton, you don’t need to change
who you are for any man. If that’s not good enough for him, then
kick him to the curb. You’re awesome and if he can’t see that, then
he’s not the man for you.”

Karla had been so focused and determined on
getting him to eventually want her that she didn’t see she’d been
closing her emotions off from herself. Maybe that’s why she’d been
feeling so numb and lost. Whatever was happening to her, she just
wanted it to end. Maybe she needed to stop chasing Adam. Three
months and she really wasn’t any closer to him emotionally than
when they started. Sex wasn’t enough.

“Thanks, Cassie. I think I know what I need
to do.” But she didn’t want to do it.

Taking a deep breath, she got the SUV back on
the road and drove on. Soon after they’d come through the pass,
Karla turned onto the gravel road leading down to Cassie’s cabin.
The blue spruce trees closed in around them on the narrow, rutted
drive. Thank goodness Adam’s SUV was high enough not to hit bottom.
After bouncing along for nearly a quarter-mile, they came out of
the woods into a clearing where Cassie’s cabin sat nestled among
aspens and evergreens.

Beautiful. Lonely. Detached.

Just like Cassie.

And Adam.

“Come inside for a cup of tea.”

“Um, I can’t really stay long. I promised
Adam I’d get right back.”

“You always visit awhile. He’ll
understand.”

Karla hated not being able to tell her friend
why she couldn’t stay, but she was still his slave until they had a
serious talk about where they were going, if anywhere. Still,
talking with Cassie on the drive up here had helped lift the wet
blanket that had been over her since Adam left her last night after
their fight. They really hadn’t had a lot of time together this
visit, what with all that had been happening since the last two
weeks. Karla had about thirty minutes before she really had to get
back on the road. “One cup of tea, then I need to head back to
Denver.”

Cassie smiled. “You’ve got it bad, Karla.
Can’t even stand to be apart for a few hours. I hope it works out.
I hope he’s good to you.”

You and me both, Cassie.

* * *

Adam closed the lid to the laptop and looked
at his watch again. Forty minutes late. Was she testing him
already? He’d told her he’d have to punish her if she willfully
disobeyed? Damn it, why was she putting him in this position? Hell,
they were only finishing the second day of their TPE
arrangement.

What had ever possessed him to propose this
damned Master/slave arrangement? He’d tested Karla’s limits,
thinking each time he’d gone further than she’d ever agree to go,
but god damn it, she just accepted whatever he dished out and asked
for more. She’d changed, too. She wasn’t the Karla who’d fucking
made him insane for the past three months. This morning, she’d
seemed a little lost. He’d never wanted to alter her personality,
but that’s what happened with Joni, too.

He missed the feisty Karla who would stand up
to him, tell him to his face he was full of shit, fucking declare
war on him, even. How could he get her back? Did she even want to
come back? She seemed to be enjoying the role of slave. She sure
enjoyed rough sex—but she didn’t need to be a slave to get that
from him.

Not that he should be having any kind of sex
with her. She was twenty-five years younger than he was. She needed
to find someone closer to her own age, get married, raise babies,
and share a nice long life together with him.

He looked at his watch again. Forty-seven
minutes late. He should call her and read her the riot act. Why had
he given her a deadline for returning anyway? Oh, how could he
fucking forget? He was her Master and needed to exert his will over
her. In addition, because he was trying to get her to put an end to
this arrangement, he’d also tried to make her life miserable.

He rubbed his hand over his face and rolled
his chair away from the desk. The sore muscles and tendons in his
back pulled as he stood up, but he wasn’t going to take another
damned pill. He’d need his full faculties if he was going to
navigate these waters with Karla. Besides, he needed to set things
up for their Shibari rope suspension session tonight. He’d planned
to videotape her tonight.

Now it looked as if there would need to be a
punishment session, as well. How should he discipline her? She’d
enjoyed being paddled last night. Maybe some other impact play?
Orgasm torture? Deprivation? Well, he could call off the Shibari
session. He knew she enjoyed that. She’d gone into subspace during
their Shibari session last night. Maybe that would be the best way
to punish her.

Except he’d been looking forward to it all
day and wasn’t interested in punishing himself.

On his way to the suspension theme room he
wanted to use, he heard a squeal coming from the kitchen. Maybe
Karla was home. Although he’d never heard her squeal like that
before, she sounded like she had more life in her than the
slave-Karla he’d created. Walking into the room, he found Angelina
over Marc’s lap, getting her ass spanked.

“Can’t you two wait for the club to open
tonight?”

Marc looked up and grinned. Angelina kept her
gaze on the floor, her hair hiding what he was sure was a very red
face at the moment. Adam was happy Marc had finally find a woman he
was so evenly matched with, after such a long spell of being so
miserable. Before either could respond to his question, Adam’s cell
phone began playing the tune “This Girl is a Woman Now,” one of
Joni’s favorite songs. How the hell did that ringtone get on his
phone and who was calling? He looked at the caller ID. Karla?

About god-damned time.

Adam’s heartbeat picked up and he turned away
from Marc and Angelina and he pressed the accept button, putting
the phone to his ear. “Where are you?” He knew his barked question
sounded harsh, but he didn’t appreciate her making him worry about
her like this.

Silence.

He held his breath. “Karla? What’s
wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Sir.” She was crying.

His throat closed in fear. “Karla, tell me
what’s wrong. Now.”

He could hear her draw a ragged breath. “I
wrecked your SUV.”

Adam had to remind himself to breathe again.
Images of Karla’s battered and bloodied body flashed across his
mind and he had to lean against the doorjamb to keep himself
upright.

“Are you okay?” This question barely came out
in a whisper.

She choked on a sob. “Oh, Master, I’m so
sorry. I was tired and driving too fast. It was snowing. I didn’t
see it.”

“See what?”

“Oh, God, she’s dead.” She began sobbing even
harder.

“Who, Karla? Talk to me.” Had Cassie been
killed?
Jesus Christ, no
. What the fuck had happened? She
should have gotten Cassie home more than five hours ago. How long
ago had she had the wreck?

“She just jumped out in front of me,
Adam.”

“Cassie?”

“Cassie? No, she’s home.”

“Who jumped out in front of you?”

“The doe, Adam. I didn’t have time to
swerve.”

She’d called him Adam. Even though he hated
that she was so upset, he liked hearing her call him by his given
name again. But he knew it was only because she wasn’t thinking
clearly right now.