Nobody's Family is Going to Change (23 page)

“No, but you can stop wanting him to change,” said Saunders.

Emma felt like the top of her head would fly off. Saunders got it, the whole thing. “That's what I mean,” said Emma loudly. “That's just what I'm talking about. We have to stop waiting around for them to love us!”

“Hey,” said Saunders. “You know, you're right. That's just what I do. I keep waiting for my mother to say, ‘I think it's wonderful that you want to be a scientist.' I keep waiting for her to think it's as wonderful as I think it is.”

“That ain't never going to happen,” said Emma, thinking of her own father. Never, ever, would he look at her and say he thought it was a swell idea, her being a lawyer, never, if she waited a million years.

“I think we've got something here,” said Saunders.

What do you mean
we,
thought Emma.

“I think we ought to meet once a week,” continued Saunders, “or more—every day if we have to—and talk about what we feel and see if we can figure out solutions,
see if we can help each other. I even like the name. Let's call ourselves the Changelings!”

Can you beat that, thought Emma. In one more minute she'll give herself the credit for thinking of the whole thing.

“What I was originally thinking of when I first thought of this,” said Emma slowly, letting her words sink in, “was that we would also enlarge the group, and start other groups, so that, finally, when people get to be ten or eleven, or even earlier, it would be a natural thing for people to belong to a group like this.”

“Great,” said Saunders, as though Emma had finally contributed something.

“Why don't we get sweat shirts,” said Goldin excitedly.

“No!” said Emma. “This should be secret.”

“Like the Army?” asked Goldin. “Hey, are we going to belong to the Children's Army?”

“I don't know how I feel about that,” Emma said importantly. “I spoke to Harrison Carter.”

“You did?” asked Goldin, obviously impressed. Saunders looked put out by the news.

“I'm not sure what I think of the operation,” said Emma. “They accomplish a lot, I know that.”

“It's not the same thing as this,” said Saunders. “One thing doesn't have anything to do with the other.” “Yeah,” said Goldin. “They're two different things.”

“I think,” said Emma, “that the first meeting of the Changelings should come to order.”

“Who made you president?” asked Saunders swiftly.

“She thought of it,” said Goldin.

That Goldin is a good kid, thought Emma, as she continued: “I think the first thing on the agenda is for each person to discuss how she plans to be different at dinner tonight.”

“Motion passed,” said Ketchum wildly.

They began to talk. They talked all afternoon.

That night, at dinner, Emma waited until dessert was served to make her announcement.

She waited patiently, watching Willie try to tell what had happened that day at rehearsal. She watched her mother being nervous. She watched her father retreating more and more into silence, eating faster and faster. She watched her mother watching her father.

When Martha placed a piece of chocolate cake in front of her, Emma pushed it away and said, “I'm going to be a lawyer when I grow up.”

“Oh, for Christ's sake! Can't we have a peaceful dinner around here?” said her father loudly. He jerked his cake closer to him and shoved his fork down into it.

“Stop saying things just to upset your father!” said Mrs. Sheridan.

“Women lawyers are idiots! They're the laughingstock of any group of lawyers. I think any woman who tries to be a lawyer is a damned fool!” Mr. Sheridan glared at Emma.

“That,” said Emma, “is your problem, not mine.” To herself she added, And frankly, Daddy, I don't give a damn.

She shook with silent laughter. Wait till I tell them tomorrow how these two looked when I said that.

Just wait.