Nobody's Dream (85 page)

Oh, how he made her feel beautiful. The soothing music filled the air, and she closed her eyes, sinking into the pillow as she let go of any remaining defenses.

Luke’s fingers began massaging her scalp. She melted. “You have no idea how good that feels, Luke.”

“Glad you’re enjoying it, but no more talking. Just feel.”

“Yes, sir.”

He chuckled, and she realized she sounded like Kitty responding to one of Adam’s commands. “Not sir like that. You know what I mean.”

“Shhh. I’m from the South, remember? I know what you meant. Either way is nice, though.” He bent over and kissed her cheek, surprising her but ending the peck before she could turn and kiss him back.

Kitty said he had a dominant streak. He had even said so. Did he want to dominate her at some point? Would she ever be interested in something like that?

To be honest, when he held her hands over her head in the shower, he freed her of her inhibitions. Of course, at the slightest pressure, he had released her. Perhaps if she could not let herself go otherwise, she would ask him to—

His hands massaged her temples. “Stop thinking. Feel.”

She tried to empty her mind of thoughts and to enter into a meditative state. To float.

The pressure of his hands was the only sensation she allowed inside her consciousness. His fingers returned to the top of her scalp, and she sighed. Tension flowed out of her as she sank into the mattress. His hands worked down to her shoulders, and he spent a fair amount of time releasing the stiffness she had stored there.

Without speaking or breaking the mood, his hands focused on the nape of her neck, and she soon relaxed again. Cassie moaned, a mixture of pain and pleasure as he worked on her stress knots. She had no idea she had become so stiff.

Time to let go. She was safe with Luke. Her body floated again as if drifting on a cloud. She never wanted this moment to end. She kept her head down and opened her eyes. Her hair covered his bare feet. She closed them again and the scent of lavender massage oil perfumed the air. The friction of his hands rubbing together made her realize he was warming the oil before applying it to her skin.

Always so considerate.

When his hands touched her shoulder blades, she flinched, but the oil and the soothing way he massaged her back soon had her moaning in pleasure again.

“You, too, have magic hands.”

“Don’t you forget it, darlin’. Now hush.”

“Just feel.”

“That’s right.”

She heard the smile in his voice and had to grin herself. His lack of seriousness helped her relax even more, and for the next half hour or so, she simply let him knead the tension out of her back, slowly working his way down her spine.

He pushed the sheet down to her thighs exposing her backside…

…
cantina music assailed her…

Hands pulled at her skirt and blouse. The sound of a knife cutting through the material made her stop fighting for fear she would be cut as well.

Run!

She stiffened and started to rise.

“Relax, darlin’. I’m just massaging you. Helping you relax.”

Luke. I am with Luke

He removed his hands, but soon she heard him warming more massage oil between them and knew he was about to touch her lower body.

Despite that brief flashback, she wanted him to do just that. Since the shower, she had desired for him to touch her more intimately, but had no clue how to make that happen. Asking outright to be touched a certain way made her extremely uncomfortable.

Luke’s hands firmly stroked her lower back. His fingers pressed into the skin on either side of her spine and moved closer to the curve of her buttocks. She clenched her thighs together, both dreading and anticipating his touch in more intimate places, but he surprised her by walking around to the other side of the bed and lightly traced a fingertip down the sole of her foot.

Her leg involuntarily bolted up at being tickled. Using mind over matter, she relaxed her leg again and let him continue.

“Good girl. I love your self-control. But I also want to see you totally lose control for me before the night is over.”

Cassie tensed again. Could she do this? Before she could worry too much, he elicited a moan from her as he rubbed the ball of her foot.

“That’s my girl.”

“That feels heavenly.” The man definitely knew how to give a great full-body massage.

“Happy to hear my lady is pleased.”

His lady. Her cowboy.

She let the romantic image envelop her. She did believe in romance now.

Luke seemed in no hurry to move to a new area, and she relaxed farther into the mattress as her muscles melted like butter. He massaged her calf before crawling onto the bed beside her and removing the sheet. He focused on the back of her knee and thigh.

When had she unclenched her thighs? She started to close them again, but fought back the urge.

Be brave.

Instead, she forced her body to remain relaxed. Mind over matter.

Wait!
Did she just open her legs a little bit wider? Why? What would happen if he touched her there? Would she shut down, run away—or enjoy it?

Perhaps she was inviting him to do more. Her sex tingled, aching to be touched. What was he doing to her? Her heart pounded.
Arousal, not fear
. She trusted him, so why was her body trying to rebel at his touch? How could she clamp down on her excitement?

Dirty.

“Relax, Sweet Pea. You’re tensing up again. Stop worrying about what’s coming next. Just enjoy the moment.”

“How did you know I was worrying?”

He chuckled, and she heard him rubbing more oil into his hands. “It’s my job to pay attention to your body and read the signs, especially when you won’t come right out and tell me what you want or need.”

Ah
. Body language. He had paid attention to her pulse point the time she had told him about the rape. Very observant, indeed. Good, because asking for what she wanted was impossible.

She smiled and loosened up again as his hands surrounded her left thigh, working the oil into her skin. She spread her legs wider to allow him access to her full thigh.

Touch me.

As if he had heard her thoughts, the side of his hand brushed against her sex, and she gasped in surprise but did not close her thighs. It must have been accidental.

Then he touched her there again.

Her sex throbbed, but he pulled away again. Did she just groan in frustration? One minute she was afraid he would touch her more intimately and the next she regretted he did not.

“Like that, baby girl?”

“Oh, yes.”

She liked being his baby girl, too, but by tonight she wanted to become Luke’s woman in every sense.

He played her body like an instrument, eliciting responses she never expected as he caressed her other thigh before applying more pressure. This time when he came into contact with the juncture of her legs, she lifted her hips seeking more.

“I think we’d better stop now before things go too far. I love touching your body like this, though. We’ll have to do it again tonight.” His hands stopped moving and left her body.

No!
He was stopping?
Now?

“Please, Luke.”

“What, darlin’?”

“Please…keep doing what you’re doing. It feels so good.” There, she had spoken the words. Had asked for what she wanted. No,
needed
. Her heart pounded as she waited for him to respond.

“That’s my good girl.”

He chuckled. Had he been testing her? He warmed more oil in his hands, and she expelled the breath she had been holding. Where would his magic hands roam next?

Anticipation caused her to hold her breath again, and she gasped in surprise when they came down with one hand high on each thigh, his thumbs
so
close. Without being asked, she opened her legs wider for him, inviting him to explore farther.

His hands kneaded the back of her thigh. Strong, firm motions left her inner thighs tingling at his touch.

“Mmmm.” She could not form a coherent sentence now if he commanded her to, but simply gave in to the feel of his hands. Her sex pulsed as though her heart was beating there. The ache to be touched became a raging need.

“Please. More.”

Cassie’s frustration increased when his hands ignored her and moved lower on her thigh again. She spread her legs even wider, but his hands left her again altogether. She growled. Why did he not take the hint?

Oil. Rubbing his hands.
At least he wasn’t finished!
Where would he touch her next?

Anticipation engulfed her.

Facing away from her as best she could tell from the position of his hands, he straddled her lower back, rocking the mattress.

Pressure. Fearing the images from the cantina would bombard her again, Cassie twisted to her side and threw him onto the bed. “Stop! Pickle!”

She gasped for air as Luke stretched out beside her and met her gaze, his hand stroking her face. “Shhh. You’re safe. It’s Luke. Tell me what’s going on.”

Her face flamed with embarrassment. “I am sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Let’s just figure out what triggered you so I won’t do it again.”

“I am not sure it was really a trigger, but when you pressed your body against my lower back, it felt like…” She sucked air into her chest. “I did not really experience a flashback. It was more like the panic that I might, if that makes sense.”

“Sounds like you’re saying you were anticipating a trigger because you thought there should be one.”

“Perhaps. I think the pressure is what scared me.”

“Would you like me to try again but from another position?”

“No.”

The disappointment in his eyes was evident. “It’s okay. We don’t have to. We can cuddle and talk instead.”

“No!”

Clearly, she was not expressing herself well. “What I mean is that I do
not
want to stop. I do
not
want you to try another position. I
do
want to try and control my body from reacting like this.” Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Luke, I want to do this. To please you. I just want to be normal!”

Luke grinned. “Well, that would make one normal person in this bed, then. Hell, I don’t even know what the standard is for normal. All I know is that whatever
we
do or
want
to do is normal for us today, and if tomorrow we redefine what we want, then that will be our new normal.”

She smiled and leaned toward him to press her lips against his before pulling back again. “Thank you for not making me feel like a freak.”

He brushed the hair away from her eyes. “Darlin’, I’m telling you, based on thirty-three years of experience, even freaks set their own normal.”

“I love you, Luke.”

“Love you, too, baby girl.” He leaned up and propped his head in the palm of his hand as he traced a finger down her arm. “Tell me what you want me to do next.”

Tell him. Speak the words.

Gathering her hair in one hand, she resumed the position. “Touch me the way you were touching me before.”

He bent over her and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for using your safeword, Sweet Pea. Helps me relax knowing you will if you need to.”

She did not realize he was nervous, too. He seemed so self-assured and in control.

He straddled her again, facing away from her head, but she noticed he did not put his weight on her right away. Heat from his feet and legs warmed the sides of her breasts. His hands focused first on her upper thighs and then her bottom. She remained in the moment and allowed no more worries from the past to interfere with her enjoyment of this time with her husband.

She had enjoyed his massages before, but none had made her feel so alive. He awakened parts of her body long dormant. Using indirect touches, he made her genitals tingle in anticipation of more. Would he ever shift his focus there more directly?

Goddess, I hope so.

Cassie felt something stiff pressing between her butt cheeks and it took a moment before she realized he was erect again. The prospect of Luke making love to her tonight became very real, very fast. She smiled.

I can do this.

Abruptly again, he stopped and crawled off her. She heard the cap snap closed on the bottle of oil. “Why don’t we cuddle awhile?” Her smile faded. That was it? He intended to stop with only the massage?

No! That is not what I want!

She rolled onto her back and covered herself with the sheet. Underneath, her nipples bunched. If he would only touch her there, he could see how excited she was without her saying a word.

Becoming aroused in front of a man once scared her to death, but this was Luke. She loved and trusted him. She wanted to please him with her body.

Do it!

She drew the sheet down as he placed the bottle of oil on the nightstand. When he turned to look at her, he zeroed in on her breasts.

Yes, look at what you have done to me, Luke
.

Instead of appearing to be excited, a pained expression flashed across his face. Slowly, he met her gaze. He swallowed hard. “Maybe we can take a nap before we get to our chores later on?”

“Nap?” Luke never slept in the middle of the day. He slept only a few hours each night. How could he expect her to sleep when her body was on fire?

He removed the towel that had been around his waist and she saw his own state of arousal. How could he just ignore that, as well? He helped maneuver her body lengthwise on the mattress, stretched out, and placed the sheet over them. He did not spoon her as he did at night. Did not allow his erection to touch her as it had moments ago. She wanted to beg him to touch her there. The man had cast some kind of spell over her.

And now he wanted to nap?

Luke draped his hand over her, and it came to rest on her side. She tilted her body toward him until his fingers brushed her breast, but he pulled away. Did he not realize she wanted him to touch her breasts?

She ached to be stroked, touched, put out of her state of misery. Parts of her anatomy she did not know existed burned now. Literally
burned
.