Nobody's Dream (59 page)

She met his gaze once more and continued as if she hadn’t spoken those words, but he’d remember them forever. “How is O’Keeffe?”

“She misses you. I can’t read her mind, but am pretty sure she thinks I’m an idiot now. She’d rather work with you.”

She waved her hand at him. “Oh, she loves you. She just has a stubborn streak—and too much fear. Someday she will see how good you are for her.”

He wished the girl seated across the table from him at the moment would see that, too. At least that he tried to be good for her. “I’m a patient man.” He scooped up a forkful of yellow rice. After chewing and swallowing, he grinned. “Millie’s growing like a weed. Wait ’til you see her. She’s been your surrogate with O’Keeffe. They play ball together in the round pen now.”

“Oh, this I must see! I will be home Saturday.”

Home. She just called his place home.
Hot damn!

She fiddled with her cauliflower and potato dish. Something was on her mind. While he waited for her to speak, he ate in silence.

“Do you have to go back tonight, Lucas?”

Not if you need me, Sweet Pea
. “No. Matt’s at the ranch and doesn’t go back on duty until Saturday.” He needed to work on some things before his folks showed up Sunday, too. His dad always found fault with his choice of careers, so the fewer reminders lying around in the studio the better.

She took a bite, chewing slowly. He set down his fork and reached across the table placing his right hand over her free one. She didn’t pull away at least. “What do you need, darlin’? How can I help?”

Her hand trembled and he squeezed it to pass along some encouragement. She closed her eyes and set her fork beside her plate. “I have an appointment tomorrow and do not wish to go alone.”

“Appointment for what?” Was she sick? Dread sank into the pit of his stomach as he waited for her to explain.

When she spoke her voice was so low he had to lean forward. “With a rape crisis counselor.”

Good girl
. “I’m sure they’ll be able to help a lot.”

“I met with her Monday and she wants to try a relaxation technique in this session. You would not be in the room for that, but I am a little nervous about what she might stir up. You saw what happened after my night terror last week.”

He reached up and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “You know I’ll be there in whatever capacity you need. Why don’t I pick you up so you won’t have to drive afterward?”

Her lips trembled with her smile before she met his gaze. “Thank you, Lucas. While I have a rental, I would rather not be alone afterward.”

“Makes me feel ten feet tall that you’d ask me. Thanks, Cassie.” He wouldn’t jinx it by mentioning the T word, but for her to trust him to be there for her at a time like this was monumental progress.

She blinked. “Normally I would ask Kitty, but she is so busy with the babies.” Okay, so he was second fiddle. “Savannah offered, but I do not know her as well as I do you.” Okay, third fiddle then. Hell, he’d take it.
He
was the one she’d asked. No one else.

Cassie reached for her purse and handed him a business card with the appointment time and address on it.

“Want to grab a bite to eat beforehand?”

She shook her head. “No. I do not think that would be wise, in case I…get sick.” That she expected to have such a violent response to the session made him wonder why she was doing this.

“Are you sure you want to go through this?”

Tears swam in her eyes. He scooted his chair back and motioned for her to come to him. She shook her head and tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. Okay, if he couldn’t get her to sit in his lap again, then he’d go to her. He set his napkin on the table, stood, and walked around the table.

Reaching for her hand, he pulled her up and toward him wrapping his arms around her. “You’re one brave lady, Cassie. Facing your fears is one of the hardest things we ever have to do in life. I’m proud of you for taking the bull by the horns like this.”

Her giggle caught him off guard. He held her upper arms and placed some space between them so he could read her eyes. “Lucas, you always know how to lighten the moment.”

Lighten? Hell, he was being dead serious here.
Aw, hell
. If something he said made her giggle like that, then bring it. He brushed away the wetness from her cheeks.

“You just say when you want me and I’ll be there. Any time. Any place.”

*     *     *

Cassie rested her head against the curved back of the chaise lounge as the therapist prepared for the session. She had opted to try hypnotherapy for her first session, but if it did not work, she would try the other option Savannah had mentioned.

“If at any time you feel distressed, raise your finger, and I will walk you through it. I like to give my clients a safeword to use if they need to call an end to the session. Do you have a word you would like to use?”

Without a beat, Cassie responded, “Pickle.” She smiled, knowing Lucas was in the waiting area. His presence gave her a sense of calm. He would be there when she left, no matter what happened.

Abigail gave some reminders from their conversation the other day. “You will remain awake throughout our session. I cannot make you do anything you would not do normally.”

Cassie nodded.

“Now, take a slow, deep breath and relax your body into the chaise.” She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, slowly and deeply. “As you continue to breathe, you are going to feel your body grow heavier. More relaxed.”

Abigail walked her through a creative visualization as she descended into a deep state of relaxation. Cassie drifted peacefully as the therapist assisted her in letting go of all tension in her body. Her body faded away but her mind remained awake. Under the woman’s calm direction, Cassie felt safe and comfortable. She had a safeword. They could stop at any point if she became too distressed.

“Now, Cassie, you are back there in the cantina and the music is playing. Listen to the music and feel yourself dancing”

Abigail’s voice faded into the background as the music washed over her.
Dancing. First with Luis and then…Diego. Her fiancé’s friend frightened her. His black eyes held no compassion.
Cold. Hard.

If only Pedro had danced with her when she had asked.

“Breathe in, Cassie. Then let the feelings of fear out through your mouth.”

She relaxed again.
Casandra should not be here. Papá and Eduardo would be angry when they learned where she had gone with Pedro. But Pedro had been entrusted to protect her now. They were betrothed.

Diego groped her and she pushed him away. She left the dance floor and returned to where Pedro sat drinking a beer at their table. Angry? What did he have to be angry about? He had given her permission to dance with his friends. How was she to know one of them would have his hands all over her?

When Diego joined them and stroked her shoulder, she batted his hand away again.

Pedro’s expression grew darker. “My
chica
whores for American men while off studying in America, yet she finds the men at home so distasteful?”

Why was he speaking to her in this manner?

Pedro stood, picked up his beer bottle, and led her toward the back room. “We’ll play a game of pool before I take you home.”

The door to the pool room opened.

Run!

“Tell me where you are, Cassie.”

Fear clawed at her chest. Casandra had never expected what had happened to her, but Cassie knew better—from experience. “My fiancé and two of his friends want me to go to the back room. They say they want to play pool, but truly they want to…” Her throat grew too tight to speak.

“Deep breath and let it go. Before you go into that back room, I want you to imagine that the door to that area is closed. Your younger self, Casandra, is inside with those men. Now, Cassie, when you are ready, I want you to open that door and go inside. You are no longer that vulnerable, defenseless girl. You have learned self-defense techniques now. You may also choose to take a weapon with you. Prepare yourself now to go in and rescue Casandra from those men.”

Cassie stared long and hard before moving forward and opening the door.

Stale beer. Sweaty bodies. The stench assailed her.

Casandra lay face up on the pool table. Terror. Fear. I cannot escape. Pedro stood between her legs and lifted her skirt. Luis held her face as Diego rammed some type of contraption into her mouth and strapped it around her head. Diego held a knife to her throat. “Scream and I cut your throat,
puta
.”

For the first time, she realized the rape had been planned, not spontaneous. Who would carry that piece of apparatus around if they did not intend to use it in some foul way?

Perhaps nothing she had done—refusing to dance, hiding her breasts from their view—could have prevented them from attacking her. They had set her up. Pedro had betrayed her in the vilest of ways and then let his friends have their turns, too.

Escape, Casandra!

Cassie fought the urge to flee as well, but Casandra needed her. She could not leave her to suffer what these men intended to do.

“Leave her alone.” She set her feet and faced the three of them.

Luis turned to face her. His gaze swept over her body. Dirty. He made her feel dirty.

No,
he
was the filthy one!

He released Casandra and advanced toward Cassie. She prepared to defend herself as she had learned in self-defense classes with Kitty. He grabbed for a fistful of her hair, and Cassie intercepted his arm, twisting it and throwing him off balance as she lifted her knee to grind it repeatedly into his groin. Luis doubled over and fell to the floor, writhing in much-deserved pain for what he had been about to do to Casandra.

Casandra shoved Pedro away taking advantage of his distraction. She kicked at his chin, snapping his head back and throwing him off balance.

Good for you, Casandra!

Two hands wrapped around her from behind. Diego. She dropped out of the bear-hug cage and swung swiftly to bring her knee up to strike him in the stomach and groin until he, too, fell to the floor.

Seizing Casandra’s hand, she pulled her from the table and they ran from the room, screaming for help but not stopping inside the cantina.

“When you have escaped, Cassie, I want you to take a deep cleansing breath. You are safe now. No one can harm you.”

Sweat chilled Cassie’s forehead. She gasped for breath as if she truly had just run from danger.

Safe.

Empowered.

Coming out of her relaxed state, she remembered how they had delivered justice to her attackers and escaped to safety. She had done it, well, both her younger self and her stronger self.

Abigail asked her questions about the scene and her feelings, calming Cassie more as she lay there. Cassie smiled when she left the therapist’s office and walked down the hallway toward where Lucas waited for her.

*     *     *

Luke placed the rape-tips brochure back in the rack, overwhelmed after reading all the things he should do to support Cassie, now that she had opened up to him about the rape. He stood for the third time, running his hand through his hair. He’d paced the room three times since he started reading forty-five minutes ago. Good thing the reception area was empty, but the receptionist glanced up and smiled at him—again.

He turned to stare at the closed door through which Cassie had disappeared, as if trying to beseech it to open. Was she okay back there? Did she need him? Would he say or do the right things when she joined him?

Even though the attack happened years ago, it was still new to him. What had he done or said wrong these past months since meeting her at daVinci’s? Some of his fumbles had been inadvertent—like asking her to join him in a game of pool. How could he have known that? Others well-intentioned but wrong, like the way he kept prompting her to tell him more of the ugly details the other night when he held her in his lap. In his mind, getting the story out would help more than hurt.

Besides, despite having done and said the wrong thing many times with her, she had asked him to be here for her to provide companionship and maybe even comfort after the session. Maybe he was doing something right, after all. Right for them, anyway.

What kind of aftercare would she need? He’d trained with Adam and Damián long enough to know how important aftercare was following a cathartic and emotional BDSM scene. But whatever was going on back there had to be equally cathartic and emotional. Would she let him touch her?

Ask first. Don’t surprise her.

How many times had he just gone up and touched her without asking? Clueless. He felt so damned clueless about how to help make her feel better.

Not to mention angry. So fucking angry. He’d done a good job of controlling that anger the night she told him, but ever since he had wanted to pummel her rapists into the ground for what they did to her. If he ever came face to face with them…

No chance of that happening unless he went to Peru, and he had no intentions of doing that. The article even said not to go after the rapists because that would increase the victim’s fear of being attacked again for telling.

Shit. She entrusted him to be here for her, expected him to be supportive, but he had no goddamned clue what to…

The door opened, and he spun around to find Cassie standing there. Her eyes were red-rimmed. She’d been crying. He started toward her, then stopped. Rather than wrap her in a hug, he just held his arms open. Her choice whether she accepted the hug or not.

She stared at him a long moment. When she put one foot in front of the other and closed the gap between them, his heart soared. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he pulled her against him, but not so tight that she’d feel smothered.