Nobody's Dream (24 page)

He grinned. “Sorry, darlin’. Your girls will have to be content with sleeping with the horses in the barn.”

She laughed and punched him playfully, but grew serious again. “You know what I mean.” She sobered. “Us.”

“I have a double bed in the house and a twin in the studio. You’re welcome to either one.”

“But I would sleep alone, correct?” This needed to be specified.

He shrugged. “Unless you invite me to join you.”

She shook her head. “That will never happen.”

“Never say never, darlin’. You know, we can share a bed and not have sex. Cuddling is one of the best ways to be intimate with your partner.”

“No. That would be
too
intimate.”

“Well, keep an open mind. You can trust me not to go beyond your boundaries. You’ll be more comfortable in the house, though, so you’ll take the bedroom when you visit.”

“I do not wish to put you out.”

“No trouble. I’ve spent a lot of nights either in my studio or the barn.” He turned and took a few steps toward the window. “I’d enjoy visiting you up here, too. Probably not more than an overnight stay, although I have friends willing to help me out with the horses. Maybe I can eventually hire some part-time hands to help so I can be here to help you whenever you need something.”

He turned to face her, and his gaze swept over her from head to toe and back. “I’ll enjoy every minute up here.”

Somehow, she did not think he was referring to the mountain scenery. Her face grew warm.

“That would be nice. In fact, it would be helpful to me if you checked on the alpacas when I am away for a gallery opening and when Kitty and her baby come home from the hospital.” Perhaps if she arranged his visits for the times she would be away, this arrangement could work even better.

He nodded, and she relaxed. “But I’ll want to spend time with
you
up here, too.” How did he know her thoughts? “I like being with you. We have a lot in common. Who knows? Maybe we’ll—”

She held up her hand to stop him. “No, Lucas. Do not expect anything more than friendship will come of this arrangement. If you delude yourself into thinking I will one day succumb to your charms and fall passionately in love, this marriage agreement will not work. There can be no underlying motives or unrealistic expectations.”

The more they negotiated, the more it sounded like a business proposition.

He grinned. “Make no mistake that I plan to treat you as my wife in every way
except
sexually. What’s mine is yours. Ain’t much, but it’s still yours.” She did not want his money. He grew more serious. When he reached out to her, Cassie took a step back. “I hope you’ll wake up someday and realize you can trust me to never hurt or disappoint you.”

Her heart pounded at the image of them entangled in each other’s arms in bed. “I will
not
be sharing a bed with you, Lucas.”

He nodded. “We already covered that. But we can cuddle together on a couch, the floor, under a tree. Cuddling is not off the table.”

What am I getting myself into?

“We might also want to establish a word you can say if something I’m doing goes beyond your limits or boundaries. What might seem like a simple touch to me may not be interpreted that way by you. In that case, just say ‘pickle,’ and I’ll back off.”

“Pickle?”

He grinned. “I figure this negotiation isn’t far from what Doms and subs at the Masters at Arms Club enter into.”

What did he say? Wait a minute!
“You are a Dom? Like Adam?” The thought of him telling her what to do and expecting her to follow his orders the way Kitty sometimes bowed to Adam’s dictates scared her more than having him touch her intimately.

“Every Dom is different. I’m pretty subtle and laid-back if that’s what has that pulse in your neck beating triple time.” She raised her trembling hand to hide the telltale sign from him, but he only grinned wider. “I’ve been learning some rope tricks from Adam, and Damián taught me how to place butterfly kisses on a woman’s back with a bullwhip.”

Kissed with a whip?
She shuddered and squared her shoulders. “Let me make something clear. We are not entering into
that
kind of arrangement, Lucas Denton. I will maintain my independence and freedom. No man will smother me like that.”

“I know a number of submissives, Karla included, who would argue about that common misconception. Besides, there are plenty of people in non-sexual BDSM relationships.”

BDSM without sex? Was sex not the point?

“No matter, darlin’. We’re not entering into a power-exchange but our own unique brand of marriage.”

She did not wish to know anything more about bondage and deviant behaviors. “I am not into that and never will be.”

His smoldering gaze sent a shiver up her spine. Her face grew warm, and her heart did that fluttery thing again. Too much stress, no doubt.

“You might as well know, though, that some aspects of being a Dom are innate in me.”

Cassie’s heart skipped a beat. “Like what?”

“First and foremost, the need to be needed. But other traits like honesty, consistency, protectiveness, chivalry.” He grinned. “And maybe this makes me a chauvinist, but I enjoy the hell out of having a girl take care of me on occasion, too.”

In sickness and in health.

Of course, she would have affection and concern for him as her husband. Had she not already nursed him while sick and injured?
Twice, actually
. Her compassion would extend to any person or animal in need, vows or no vows.

She could even see to
some
of his physical needs.

Not the sexual ones, though.

She loved to cook and share meals—as long as he did not ask her to grill a steak or touch dead meat.

If what Luke sought most was a companion, well, they enjoyed doing many things together. He would be a helpmate if, Goddess forbid, she ever became too sick to care for her alpacas, he would give them a home.

Now she might as well just come out and ask. “Will you continue to go to the club if we marry?”

“Not without you.”

Then ‘No,’ in other words
. “You could give up that part of your life completely, even though you seem to have enjoyed it in the past?”

He shrugged but did not wipe the grin off his face. “The few times I’ve ventured into the club in Denver were primarily for social reasons. Of course, we’ve both visited with friends in non-club areas of the house. But we can see Adam and Karla at their new place, and Marc and I will have regular SAR training sessions required by the state. I’m sure I’ll run into Damián at Adam’s. I don’t need to visit the club to remain friends.”

Cassie relaxed, not realizing how stiffly she had held her body during this phase of their negotiation.

“Seriously, though, most of the time I go to the club because I like hanging out with those guys. I respect the hell out of Adam, Damián, Marc—Grant, too. They’re all heroes in my book.”

Cassie nodded in agreement with his last statement. “They have sacrificed a lot to serve their country. Very courageous.”

They seem to have come to the end of their negotiations. She wondered if she should write this into a contract, not so much to hold him to his promises, but to remember what they had agreed on up to this point.

“So pickle will be our safeword, darlin’. Either of us feels things are more intense than we want, we just say that word, and then we can discuss it or just drop it.”

Dear Goddess, what was she setting herself up for?

“So we are in agreement to marry?”

*     *     *

Luke suppressed a grin. The poor girl looked like she had taken a bite of the sourest pickle out of the barrel—or was ready to take on the most despicable arrangement known to man.

He doubted any Dom/sub went through more strenuous negotiations in setting their boundaries, but in many ways, this was a similar agreement. Sure, he was optimistic enough—call it cocky, even—to think he could win over her heart in time.

She had floored him, to say the least. He tried to keep his cool, but after his initial shock, the more she started listing her stipulations, the more he wanted to marry her. That she would be a challenge was a given, but he also saw in her a vulnerability that brought out every Dom instinct he had.

He’d blown his chance with Maggie by not being the man she needed. By not having the strength of conviction to keep her out of harm’s way. As much as he hated to admit it, not wanting to disrespect the memory of his wife, his connection to Cassie felt stronger than the one he’d had with Maggie. He wasn’t that young man anymore, going into marriage all full of lust and clueless about long-term commitment. Not that he wouldn’t have learned how to be a good husband and father over time, but it looked like he was going to get another chance after all.

Well, husband, at least. The only kids he was going to have would be their furbabies, but that was okay. Hell, they’d delivered one themselves. Didn’t get any better than that.

Maybe it was that Maggie didn’t need him as much. Cassie may not admit she needed him, either, but something kept her hiding away up here. Maybe he could help ease her back into the world.

“Looks like we’re headed to the altar, darlin’.”

Her eyes opened wide. “I do not want a church wedding!”

“It’s just an expression, but what’s wrong with marrying in a church?”

She suddenly became interested in his boots. “I…think marrying in a church makes it so much more…real. Perhaps we can find a judge or whoever marries people to perform the ceremony.”

“Consider it done. Priest, minister, rabbi, or judge, though, when I speak my vows, they will be heard in the ears of God.”

She looked ready to bolt and call the whole thing off before taking a deep breath. “We must each do what is right for us.”

“Sounds good. Now, I need to clear the road so we can get hitched.”

Two days later, true to his word—because with Cassie he would need to do his best to be consistent and not disappoint her—the road had been cleared.

Cassie stayed behind at the cabin while he and Eduardo went down to the ranch to check on things and to pick up a change of clothing before they headed to Breckenridge for the ceremony later today. Luke invited Eduardo along so he could set the man’s mind at ease over who would be looking after Cassie’s needs from here on out.

“You do not intend to desert her as soon as I leave?”

“I’m not doing this for you or anyone else other than Cassie. When I speak my vows this afternoon, I’ll mean every single word of them because I wrote them myself.”

Luke drove on in silence until he reached the county road leading to his ranch.

“Casandra has been hurt by someone before. If I ever find out you have hurt her, too, you will regret it.”

He didn’t expect her brother to like him right off the bat, but if he thought so little of him, why had he been so gung-ho to marry his sister off to him a few days ago?

Luke was confident that, over time, they would grow to love each other more deeply than she could ever imagine.

“If I ever do anything to hurt her, I’d expect you to do just that. Don’t worry, though. I intend to treat her like the delicate, but hardy, flower that she is.”

My Peruvian lily.

Damn. He needed to get her a bouquet. This might be a JP wedding, but he wanted her to know how special she was to him. He turned into the lane, kicking up a little dust in his haste to finish and get back to Cassie before she got cold feet.

“We should hurry. Casandra is waiting.”

“Be right back.” Unable to check on the horses, Luke took the stairs two at a time and went inside the house. He changed into his best western dress shirt and black jeans and wrapped a bolo tie around his neck. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he put on his square-toed leather boots. In a few hours, he’d be standing before a judge and saying “I do.”

Married. Again. On his way to the closet to grab his suit coat, he glanced at the framed picture on the dresser of Maggie and their baby that Cassie had sketched. He hoped he and Cassie would have many more years together. If anything ever happened to her…

Stepping outside again to head back to the Tahoe where Eduardo awaited him, he heard a familiar voice.

“Welcome home, Luke!”

He turned as Matt Giardano left the barn and walked toward him. They shook hands. “I’m afraid I need you to keep an eye on things a little longer, but I should be back home by tomorrow at the latest. Thanks for everything, Matt.”

“Loved helping. I envy you having a place like this.” Matt spent a lot of time doing equestrian activities, but had to board his two horses. A third-year firefighter’s salary didn’t afford him the luxury of a spread like this, but Matt was young. Luke had saved many years to be able to afford this place.

“Your horses are welcome here any time if you want to change where you board them. Free board if you don’t mind helping out here when I have to be away.” This might make it possible for him to spend more time with Cassie.

“Damn sight better than the place in Leadville. I might take you up on it, even if it’s an hour farther for me to come to see them. Then I can help you out here, too. O’Keeffe and I have kind of taken a liking to each other—after we straightened out a few things.” Matt grinned.

What the hell?
“How is she?”

“Come see for yourself.”

Turning toward the Tahoe, he yelled, “Eduardo, come stretch your legs if you want. I need to do one more thing before we head back up.”

Luke waited for his future brother-in-law and introduced him only as Cassie’s brother before following Matt into the barn. Luke whistled, and three of his horses came to their stall doors. What a sight for sore eyes. First stop, Picasso. He wished he’d had time to grab some carrots from the house as a treat, but Matt reached out to hand him a few small apples.

Apparently, Matt had more than taken care of their basic needs. “Man, I owe you.”

Matt shrugged. “It was a group effort. We all took turns—Rafe, Frank, and Tony. Luckily, our shifts at the two fire stations weren’t usually the same, so it worked out.”