Nobody's Baby but Mine (43 page)

Pulling back, he held the door open for Ethan to enter, then resumed his seat in the rocker. As he extracted a frozen Milky Way from the cooler, he decided his lack of principles were a match for her brains any day.

Kevin showed up an hour later. Cal knew he should thank him for the press conferences, but old habits died hard. He scowled at him instead.

“What the hell’s going on, Bomber? Why are there two cars blocking the road?”

He was getting more than a little tired of explaining himself. “You don’t go inside unless you hand over your keys.”

Unlike Ethan, the kid didn’t give him any argument. He shrugged, pitched them over, and stuck his head in the front door. “Don’t shoot, ladies. It’s the good guy.”

With a snort, Cal crossed his arms over his chest, tucked his chin, and shut his eyes. Sooner or later she was going to have to come out and talk to him. All he had to do was wait.

At one o’clock, the old man arrived. Damn people kept coming, but nobody was leaving.

Jim jerked his head toward the road. “It looks like a parking lot.”

Cal held out his hand. “Give me your keys if you want to go inside.”

“Cal, this has to stop.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“Can’t you just tell her you love her?”

“She won’t give me a chance.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Jim tossed over his keys and went inside.

Cal hoped so, too, and he wasn’t going to admit he had doubts. Especially not to his old man.

Cal’s feelings for Jane were so clear to him now, he couldn’t believe he’d ever been confused. The thought of living his life without her left him with an emptiness nothing would ever fill, not even football. If only he could forget the way he’d thrown her love back at her that day she’d left him. It was the most precious gift he’d ever received, and he’d tossed it away like week-old garbage. Now she was doing the same to him.

Despite her brief flirtation with the dark side to get herself pregnant, she had more integrity than anybody he knew, and he had to put his trust in the belief that, once she loved somebody, it would last forever. Still, when he looked the truth straight on, he knew he deserved what was happening to him because he hadn’t possessed the good sense to value what God had given him. He also knew he’d sit out here for the rest of his life if that’s what it took to get her back.

The afternoon dragged on. The blare of rock music coming from the backyard signaled that an impromptu party had broken out, but still Jane didn’t appear to talk to him. He smelled charcoal and heard Ethan calling out, “Gin!” At one point Kevin ran around the side of the house to catch a Frisbee somebody had thrown. Everybody seemed to be having a great time except him. He was a stranger in his own family, and they were dancing on his grave.

He straightened as he saw two figures moving through the woods on the east side of the house. For a moment he thought Jane had convinced someone to help her sneak away on foot, but just as he got ready to bolt out of the chair, he recognized his father and mother.

They stopped near an old white ash he’d climbed when he was a kid. His father pressed his mother against the trunk. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and the next thing he knew, they were going at it like a couple of teenagers.

His parents’ estrangement was finally over, and he smiled for the first time in days. But his smile faded as he saw the direction his father’s hands were taking and realized he was getting ready to feel up his mother!

With a shudder, he turned the rocker around. There were some things he didn’t want to witness, and that was right at the top of his list.

For the next couple of hours he dozed on and off between brief visits from Kevin and Ethan, neither of whom seemed to have any idea what to talk about. Ethan settled on politics, while Kevin rather predictably picked football. His father was noticeably missing, but he didn’t let himself dwell on what the old man and his mother might be doing. He heard nothing from Jane.

It was close to dusk when his mother appeared. She was badly mussed, and the redness on her neck looked suspiciously like beard burn. A bit of dried leaf clung to her hair, just behind her ear, giving further evidence that she and the old man had been doing something more than collecting wildflowers out in those woods.

She gazed down at him, and her forehead creased with worry. “Are you hungry? Would you like me to bring you a plate of food?”

“Don’t do me any favors.” He knew he sounded surly, but he felt as if she had betrayed him.

“I’d invite you inside, but Annie won’t allow it.”

“You mean Jane won’t allow it.”

“You’ve hurt her, Cal. What do you expect her to do?”

“I expect her to come out here so we can talk.”

“So you can yell at her, you mean?”

Yelling was the last thing on his mind, and he started to tell her that only to find himself once again alone on the front porch. For someone who’d set out to protect his parents from his personal life, he’d made an unholy mess of it.

Night settled over the mountain, and failure twisted at his belly. He leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands. She wasn’t going to come out. How had he screwed things up so badly?

The screen door creaked on its hinges, and he looked up to see her. His boots dropped to the floor, and he straightened in the chair.

She had on the same thing she’d worn the day she’d left him: that buttery cotton dress with the big tan buttons down the front. This evening there was no headband in her hair. It fell helter-skelter around her beautiful face and looked just as it did when they’d finished making love.

She slipped her hands into the pockets. “Why are you doing this?”

He wanted to sweep her right off the porch and into the woods where he’d love her until she was the one with beard burn and dry leaves in her hair. “You’re not leaving, Jane. Not without giving us a chance to work this out.”

“We’ve had lots of chances, and we’ve blown every one.”

“You mean
I
have. I promise you I won’t blow the next one.”

He rose from the rocker and moved toward her. She took an instinctive step back against the railing. He forced himself not to go any closer. He wasn’t the only one who didn’t like being backed into a corner.

“I love you, Jane.”

If he’d expected his announcement to sweep her off her feet, he’d badly miscalculated. Instead of showing pleasure, her big, sad eyes seemed to swallow her face.

“You don’t love me, Cal. Don’t you see? This has turned into another game for you. Last night you finally realized that you were going to lose, but you’re a champion, and losing isn’t acceptable. Champions do whatever it takes to win, even saying things they don’t really mean.”

He stared at her, flabbergasted. She didn’t believe him! How could she think this was just about winning? “You’re wrong. That’s not it at all. I mean what I said.”

“Maybe right this second you do, but remember what happened after you saw me naked. The game was over, Cal, and you lost interest. This is the same way. If I agreed to take you back, you’d lose interest.”

“I didn’t lose interest after I saw you naked! Where did you get that crazy idea?” He realized he was yelling, and frustration made him want to yell even louder. Why was it so impossible for him to communicate like a normal person?

He swallowed hard and ignored the film of sweat that was breaking out on his forehead. “I love you, Jane, and once I make up my mind about something, it’s made up for good. We’re alike that way. Call off your watchdogs.”

“They’re not my watchdogs, they’re yours!” Agitation showed in her expression. “I’ve tried to get them to leave, but they won’t do it. They’ve got this idea that you need them.
You!
Ethan’s told me all the sentimental stories from your childhood, and Kevin has described every touchdown you’ve ever made or even thought about making. As if I care! Your father’s narrowed in on your academic accomplishments, which is the last thing I want to hear about!”

“I’ll bet my mother hasn’t been singing my praises.”

“For a while she concentrated on the good causes you support. Then she began to explain how she used to play hopscotch with you, but she started to cry and had to walk away, so I’m not sure what she was trying to tell me.”

“And Annie? What did she say?”

“That you’re a spawn of Satan, and I’m better off without you.”

“She did not.”

“Close enough.”

“Jane, I love you. I don’t want you to go.”

Her face twisted with pain. “Right now you love the challenge of me, but that’s not enough to build a life on.” She hugged herself and rubbed her arms. “These past few weeks have finally cleared the cobwebs from my brain. I don’t know what I was thinking of to believe we could have a lasting relationship. It can’t always be raging fights and knockdown arguments. You feed on that, but I need someone who’s going to be there for me after the challenge is gone.”

“For all your brains, you don’t understand anything!” God, he was yelling again. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “Can’t you just take a chance that I mean exactly what I say?”

“It’s too important to take chances.”

“Listen to me, Jane. This isn’t about fights and challenges. I love you, and I want to stay married for the rest of our lives.”

She shook her head.

Pain cut through him. He was spilling his guts, but she wasn’t buying any of it. He couldn’t think of a single thing that would convince her.

She spoke softly. “I’m leaving tomorrow, even if I have to use the police to get me out. Good-bye, Cal.” She turned away and walked inside.

He squeezed his eyes shut as despair washed through him. He was weak-kneed and aching, just as if he’d taken a career-ending hit. Except he wasn’t going to give up. Not ever.

As much as the idea of public declarations upset his sense of privacy, he couldn’t think of anything else to do but take his case to the people. Clenching his jaw, he followed her inside.

He felt foolish, but he knew that reaction came from pride, an emotion he couldn’t afford right now when he needed the entire team behind him. He struggled to compose himself. “Jane doesn’t think I’m serious about loving her.”

Ethan and Kevin regarded him over the top of their cards. His mother’s forehead creased. “Do you know that she likes to dance? Not those country and western line dances, but rock and roll.”

He didn’t exactly see how that was going to help him right now, but he filed it away.

“I’m sick of all this commotion!” Annie slapped the remote on the arm of her chair. “Jim Bonner, you go get Janie right this minute and make her come out. It’s time things got settled around here, so I can have some peace and quiet.”

“Yes, ma’am.” With a flicker of a smile at his wife, Jim rose from the couch and headed toward the spare bedroom.

Jane looked up from the suitcase she’d been packing and saw Jim standing in the doorway. “What’s wrong?”

“You have to come out in the living room now and face Cal.”

“I already faced him, and I don’t want to do it again.”

“You have to. Annie says.”

“No.”

One eyebrow shot up. “What did you say?”

“I said no?” Unfortunately, it came out as a question instead of a statement, but there was definitely something intimidating about this man and his raised eyebrow.

“Right now I’m the closest thing you’ve got to a father, and I’m telling you to get yourself out there!”

Bemused, she watched as he jabbed his hand in the general direction of the living room. She couldn’t help comparing the authoritarian look in his eyes with the way her own father had always regarded her, as if he were vaguely repulsed.

“No arguments. March!”

She thought about asking him if he intended to ground her if she disobeyed, but decided that wasn’t a good idea. “Jim, this isn’t going to work.”

He walked over and pulled her into his arms for a reassuring squeeze. “He needs to have his say. He deserves that.”

She rested her cheek against his shirt front. “He already had his say on the front porch a few minutes ago.”

“Apparently he didn’t finish.” He gently pushed her away and gave her a nudge toward the door. “Go on now. I’m right behind you.”

Cal looked even more dangerous in the living room than he’d looked on the porch, where the light had been dimmer. She noted his narrowed gunslinger’s eyes and cattle rustler’s expression. She wanted to believe that the three other men present would come to her rescue if he proved to be completely unreasonable, but she suspected that they were on his side.

Cal ignored her as she made her way to stand near the television, the farthest point in the room from the place he occupied near the kitchen door. As if she were invisible, he addressed the room’s other occupants.