Nobody Does It Better (17 page)

In warm weather the Hamptons had their own peculiar smell of salt, new leather, sun block, and money. Huge modern houses hunkered near white sand beaches, flanked by pools and black Mercedes SUV's. Little girls in petit Bateaus bikinis rode their scooters into town for gelato. Sleek show horses cantered elegantly along the roadside behind pristine white post-and-rail fences. Like a giant country club, the Hamptons was the type of place where only those how belong, belong.

But of course all our girls belong.

“Head count!” Isabel Coates and Kati Farkas barked as the girls in Constance Billard's senior class stepped out of the fleet of silver town cars outside Isabel's parents Southampton weekend home and filed into the courtyard. The house was an L-shaped one-story modern glass structure designed by Philippe Starck, with a private beach and a helicopter landing pad on the roof. In the crook of the L was a courtyard containing a floodlit pink-tiled swimming pool and a pink stucco pool house. Around the pool stood forty white plastic chaise lounges, a pink Senior Spa Weekend towel draped on the back of each one. Beside the pool, a white tent had been set up, with a buffet table covered in a pink tablecloth, and a full bar with pink Senior Spa Weekend cocktail napkins. It was almost like a wedding, except without the wedding.

Jenny Humphrey and Elise Wells skirted the line to avoid the head count and dashed across the courtyard and into the pool house.

“Hey,” Rain Hoffstetter whispered shrilly to Laura Salmon. Rain and Laura were both wearing giant pink Kate Spade sun hats, and the brims of their hats kept banging against each other. “What are they doing here?”

“Who?” Laura Salmon demanded, squinting from underneath her hat.

“Help yourselves to cocktails and canapés!” Isabel shouted through a bullhorn, loving every minute of her boss-of-everyone role. Even though it wasn't nearly as good as a school as Princeton, Isabel had decided to go to Rollins next year with Kati- much to her parents' chagrin- because Rollins had offered her a position as residence advisor in one of the freshmen women's dorms, and it would be her job to boss everyone around, including Kati, for an entire year.

“There's a steam room in the pool house. Only six at a time, please,” she continued, her wide mouth pressed against the bullhorn. “There are movies in the screening room, and the pool is heated, so you can swim all night if you want to. Our high-protein, high-energy breakfast is at seven tomorrow morning, and the first Origins facial is at eight, so we'll need our beauty rest. There are queen-sized mattresses set up in every room. Three to a bed, girls- it's gonna be cozy!”

The air buzzed with the sounds of girls gathering at the bar or drifting into the house to have a pillow fights on the silk sheeted beds or raid the Origins gift bags that weren't supposed to be opened until tomorrow. A few brave girls stripped down to their underwear or changed into a bathing suits and cannonballed off the diving board and into the pool, while the lazy ones gathered in Mr. Coate's screening room and sprawled on the brown leather chairs while the open credits of 'The Great Gatsby', starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow, rolled past on the giant screen.

Blair, Serena and Vanessa sat on the edge of the pool with their legs dangling into the water. “This is fun,” Vanessa said in an attempt to be upbeat. She wondered how Serena and Blair kept their legs so tan. Hers were positively corpselike by comparison.

“Hey you guys!” Jenny cracked open the glass door to the pool house and beckoned to them from inside. She'd stripped down to a towel, and on her head was a white diamond-studded bathing turban, and old Hollywood-style relic Mrs. Coates wore in the pool to keep her hair from getting wet. “You gotta check out the stream room!”

Blair wasn't exactly fond of the two wannabe-senior freshmen, but she wasn't about to pass up a chance to steam off a few unwanted pounds. “Okay, but I get to wear the turban,” she announced, leading the way to the pool house. She snatched the turban off Jenny's head and put it on. On Jenny it had looked ridiculous, but on Blair it was sort of regal.

Only true divas can get away with wearing turbans.

Jenny handed them each a giant white Egyptian cotton towel and the girls stripped down to nothing, all pretending not to ogle Serena's beyond-perfect body, but ogling it anyway. Secretly they each hoped to discover some hidden pocket of cellulite that she'd been hiding under her uniform all these years, but she was as slim-hipped and perfect as they'd feared.

“Supposedly Mr. Coates is a major pothead,” Serena told them as she pulled off her pink T-shirt, oblivious to their stares. “That's why he only does voice-overs for commercials now instead of movies. He's smoked so much he can't remember his lines.”

“I know,” Jenny agreed. “Look.” She unscrewed the head off an innocent-looking white marble bust of Apollo and pulled a giant bag of pot from inside it.

The three seniors stared at her. What was little Jenny Humphrey doing unscrewing the heads off of busts, anyways?

“Not that I want any,” Jenny told them innocently. “Elise found it by accident.”

All of a sudden Aaron's bald head bobbed past the window, and all the girls squealed hiding their naked bodies underneath their towels. It looked like he might have swum partway to get there. His clothes were wet and there was salt crusted on his cheeks.

Vanessa decided to hide from him for awhile, just for fun. “Quick, get in the steam room! Now!”

Jenny threw open the door and they dodged inside. The steam room was about the size of Serena's walk-in closet, lined entirely in white tile, with two levels of steps upon which to sit. Through the steam they could just make out Elise, huddled on a white-tiled step in the corner, her body wrapped in a huge white towel and a long silver cigarette holder with a joint hanging from it dangling out of her mouth.

“Elise is getting stoned,” Jenny informed them. She hoisted herself up on the lower step and handed Elise a bottle of Poland Spring. “All she wants to talk about is how she's still in love with my brother.”

“Am not.” Elise unscrewed the top of the bottle and guzzled the water. “Actually I am.”

“Well, he is cute,” Serena put in, meaning it. She climbed up to the top step and sat down, crossing her ridiculously long, perfect legs. If Dan weren't so serious about everything, she would totally go out with him again. At least for a day.

“He is,” Vanessa agreed, taking a seat on the step below Serena. She still felt kind of possessive of Dan despite the fact that they were broken up. If anyone could judge Dan's cuteness factor, she could.

“I guess,” Blair agreed, sprawling languidly on the bottom step. She could barely remember what Dan looked like.

Jenny climbed up and sat next to Serena, hugging her knees. “Really?” she demanded mystified.

Suddenly the door opened and Dan himself stuck his head inside. It took a while for his eyes to focus in the steamy, murky dampness. Surprise, surprise- the room was full of girls.

“Come in, come in,” Vanessa croaked in her best horror movie voice. “We've been waiting for you.”

Dan grinned sheepishly and bit his lower lip. He was wearing red swim trunks and nothing else and his hair was wet. Goosebumps stood out all over his pale arms. “Is my sister here?”

“Yes, loser, and Elise is here too,” Jenny replied through the steam. “She's still in love with you.”

“We're all in love with you,” Serena proclaimed.

Dan sat down on the white-tiled step next to a prone girl in a white diamond-studded turban.

“I'm not in love with you,” the girl told him. “I don't even know you.”

Well, that's a relief.

The door opened again and Aaron poked his head inside. “'Nessa?” he called sweetly, his rosy cheeks al sprinkled with sand.

“Over here,” Vanessa answered through a cloud of seam. “Come and join our sweatfest. Just don't look at all the other naked girls.”

Aaron tiptoed across the tile in his maroon Harvard T-shirt and sand-spattered army green pants and sat down on Vanessa's lap. Jenny reached out and turned the dial to raise the temperature of the steam.

As if it needed to be raised.

“Wow. This is fun,” Serena observed. She wiped the sweat from her upper lip and slid to her feet. “I have to pee. Does anyone want anything?”

“Yeah, but there's nothing you can do about it,” Blair replied smugly.

She'd been trying to convince herself that this girls-only bonding was totally fine with her, but now that there were all these guys around, her true feelings had risen to the surface. She wanted her boyfriend to appear out of the steam and surprise her. He'd slip a diamond ring on her finger, cover her shoulders with a creamy cashmere cape, and whisk her off in his pearl gray convertible Jag to a private, moonlit beach where he would beg her forgiveness with every kiss. At dawn, his sailboat would float up out of the mist to whisk them away to faraway lands, and they'd spend the rest of their lives having adventures and making love. She wanted a true Hollywood ending.

Hence the turban.

Serena pushed the steam room door open. Cold air bathed her face.

“Shit, Blair,” she heard Aaron say behind her. “I can't believe I forgot. I have something for you.”

And what might that be?

The steam door closed behind her and Serena padded across the pool house in search of the bathroom. For a pool house, it was really quite big. It contained a Ping-Pong table, two king-sized ivory leather sleeper sofas, and a fish tank with a live barracuda in it. Not to mention the steam room and the bathroom that had to be around here somewhere.

Someone had clearly been into Mr. Coates's pot stash, because Apollo's head was rolling around underneath the Ping-Pong table like an oversized Ping- Pong ball. Next to the fish tank was a white door with a picture of a little blue boy and a little pink girl holding hands decoupaged onto it. Serena pushed it open.

Inside, the bathroom was decorated in gold leaf and had one of those weird low sinks you always see in European hotels but that no one ever uses.

Because they're for washing your butt, which is beyond gross?

The shower curtain was made of clear plastic decorated with gold stars. Behind it, sitting inside the tub with Mr. Coates's pot stash cradled in his lap, his clothes damp with sea water, and his eyes all red and sleepy, was Nate Archibald- the famously missing Nate. Serena pulled the shower curtain aside and climbed in the tub, clutching her towel around her.

“Natie? What are you doing here? Why weren't you on the boat?”

Nate grinned foolishly. Serena was naked except for a white towel wrapped around her torso. It was impossible not to smile at her; she looked like a Greek goddess. Her forehead was damp, and her blond hair was matted with sweat, but she was still gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous.

She pulled her hair up on top of her head and fanned her face. “God, I'm hot.”

Of course, Nate was thinking the same thing.

“I'm not supposed to be here,” Nate confided idiotically. “The sign said, NO BOYS ALLOWED.”

Serena picked up a clear glass bottle of Clarins bath gel from the edge and examined it. Aqua was the first ingredient. Didn't that mean water? She wondered. Why didn't they just say so? She put the bottle down again. “That's okay. Blair's stepbrother is here. And Dan Humphrey. I didn't think the no-boys policy would work.”

Nate's eyes hadn't left her face. Tiny beads of water studded her blond-tipped eyelashes. God, she was pretty. He'd come here looking for Blair, but Serena was right there in front of him, wearing only a towel.

“I've decided to go to Yale next year,” Serena blurted out, brushing the damp tendrils of blond hair away from her face. “I haven't told Blair yet because I don't want her to be mad in case she doesn't get in. But that's where I've decided to go.”

Nate nodded. It was funny how Serena's face and even her voice were sort of delicate but her body wasn't delicate at all. It was long and sinewy and strong, like a marathon runner's.

“I'm going there too,” he told her giddily, his voice cracking. “I already sent them my deposit.”

Serena grinned. “We're both going to Yale!”

Nate leaned forward and clasped the top of her bare, damp arms in his hands. He pressed his nose into her long, fair hair. She smelled sweet and warm, like summer. “Mmm,” he murmured, and kissed her soft, warm neck, tasting the signature patchouli-scented essential oil mixture she always wore.

Hello? Wrong- girl alert!

Serena grinned as his lips, traveled up her neck to her lips. “What are you doing?” she murmured without pushing him away. It had been awhile since she'd been kissed, and it felt nice. Of course it was kind of wrong, but it wasn't like she and Nate hadn't kissed before,a dn somehow knowing that they ere going to be together next year made it sem okay.

She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the kiss. Her towel fell away, and somehow Nate's damp gray t-shirt seem to fall away too.

It was the end of the year, graduation was fast approaching- there was nothing wrong with a little celebratory hookup between two best friends.

Yeah, but what about their other best friend?

Blair was dripping with sweat and badly in need of a Vodka tonic. She hitched up her towel. “What is it?” she asked Aaron impatiently.

Aaron stood up and patted his army shorts pockets. “I've got it,” he explained. “At least I hope it's still there.” He fumbled around for a moment and then produced what looked like a damp envelope.

Blair squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again. She was pretty sure she knew what the envelope contained. “And you've had that for exactly how long?” she demanded furisouly before snatching it out of his hand.

Aaron shrugged innocently. “It just came this morning.”

Even through the steam Blair could see the familiar royal blue of Yale's insignia printed in the upper-left-hand corner of the envelope. The dampness made the letter disintegrate as she attempted to pry it open with shaking, impatient hands. “Fuck it,” she breathed and ripped it open with her teeth.

A single, flimsy, bitten-into piece of paper was folded up inside. Her life had been hanging in the balance for months now. It was hard to believe it all depended on this.

The others waited with respectful silence.

Dear Blair Waldorf,

After much consideration we are happy to offer you a place at Yale University this coming fall...

Blair clutched the piece of paper to her chest and tore out of the steam room. “Serena!” she shrieked, dashing across the pool house and heading straight for the bathroom. She yanked open the soon, expecting to see her friend perched innocently on the toilet.

Inside, a tangle of familiar, gorgeous, naked limbs, greeted her from the bathtub. Nate and Serena blinked stupidly up at her, their golden heads only inches apart.

“We were celebrating,” Serena stammered. She climbed out of the tub, her towel clutched ineffectually around her naked body, and pointed at the soggy piece of paper in Blair's hand. “What's that?” she asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

Blair felt like washing out Serena's perfectly angelic mouth in the Coates's' stupid bidet. “Yale accepted me. Finally.” She narrowed her eyes. “As if you cared.”

Nate staggered to his feet, spilling the giant bag of pot all over the bathtub and ripping the shower curtain off the rail as he tried to find his balance. Infuriating as it was, he was still as handsome as ever. His golden brown hair was wavy from wind and salt air, and his cheeks were flushed from sun and pot and kissing Serena. And his bare chest- it made Blair feel ill to look at it.

“Hey, you know, that's what we were just talking about,” he fumbled, his tongue heavy with a mixture of pot, confusion and guilt. “Me and Serena, and now you too. We're all going to Yale- all three of us!”

Whoopee!

“Thanks for telling me,” Blair snapped. She'd imagined sharing a celebratory bottle of champagne with Serena on the Coates' private beach. Then she'd give in and call Nate's cell and he'd kidnap her from the party and make wild love to her on some other beach.

So much for her imagination.

Nate was still standing in the bathtub, his bare feet sprinkled with pot. She reached out and turned the shower nozzle on full blast, raining freezing cold water all over his head. Then yanked off Serena's towel and tucked it under her arm, slamming the door on their lying, cheating faces as she left the bathroom.

Lexique or whatever her the fuck her name was drifted into the pool house in her annoying Missoni tunic, her braids bouncing against her braless breasts, just as Blair was headed out the door. “He's in der, yes? My lover, my Nate?”

Blair bared her teeth with evil satisfaction. “Oh yes. He's waiting for you in the bathroom,” she told the stupid French bitch, slamming the pool house door behind her and making a beeline for the poolside bar.

There seemed to be more guys under the tent than girls. Damian, Lloyd and Marc from the Raves were mingling with the Constance Billard seniors, handing out cigars and copies of their new single, “Twisted Little Sister,” starring none other than Jenny Humphrey on vocals. The girls had taken off their T-shirts and were all wearing bright, pastel-colored bikini tops, looking like extras in one of those Elivis beach movies.

Chuck Bass was trying to talk to Rain Hoffstetter, Laura Salmon, Kati Farkas and Isabel Coates into joining him at military school. “It doesn't really matter where you go to school. What matters is how much fun you have,” Blair heard him say. “Just think how fabulous it would be if we were all together!”

Blair wentover to the bar, grabbed a half-full bottle of Absolut,a dn carried it over to the pool.

“Hey, no glass around the pool!” Isabel shouted through her bullhorn.

Blair ignored ger andclimbed up the ladder to the highdive. She let her towel drop, and padded to the end of the diving board.

A naked diva in a diamond-studded turban, swigging her favorite beverage.

Ignoring the shocked murmurs of her classmates and the delighted jeers of the guys beneath the tent, Blair took a moment to rewind. She and Nate were obviously over- again, and so were she and Serena- again. She was living in Brooklyn of all places, with Vanessa, a shaven-headed girl she'd never spoken to until a week ago. And she was finally, finally into Yale.

Most of her life had been an endless loop of repetition, filled with the same people, parties and predictability. Even her dreams had been predictable, and she liked it like that. Now she wasn't sure what to expect.

She lifted the bottle to her lips and took a giant swig before setting it carefully down on the diving board. Then she raised her arms up straight as arrows, stood on tiptoe, and dove in. holding her breath, she glided beneath the blue-green water, delighting in the silence. Behind her, the diamond studded turban bobbed to the surface.

When she really thought about it, this whole year had been a series of highs and lows, with more lows than highs. But so what if her life wasn't turning out the way she'd imagined it in the movie in her head, and her entire supporting cast had turned out to be assholes? She was about to move the film to a completely new location and could hire an entire new cast. And nobody knew how to steal the show better than Blair did.

Her dark hair broke the surface with a dramatic noisy splash. The others stared, tittering underneath the tent, but Blair paid them no mind. Floating on her back, she chanted a goofy little rhyme to cheer herself up.

“Two, four, six, eight only nineteen days till I graduate!”

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