Authors: Katie MacAlister
He bowed until his nose touched his knee. Charlotte allowed herself a small grimace, one small enough to be effective without running the risk of wrinkles, and left the room mentally considering and casting aside any number of ideas regarding Geoffrey the Pretender. In cases such as these, Charlotte had always found that two heads were wiser than one.
“Caro will help me.” She smiled to herself as she climbed the stairs to change her gown into something suitable for paying a call. “She's sure to. She has a great fondness for me, and can refuse me nothing. I can count on her to see me through this trying time.”
***
“No.”
“Caroâ”
“NO!”
“But you haven't even heardâ”
“And I don't have to! Charlotte, you have cozened me into one outrageous plan after another, but I must put my foot down now. I cannot help you.”
“It is a matter of life and death.”
“It is not, it's a matter of your pride. You said Lordâ¦Mrâ¦oh, what should I call your husband?”
“He is Lord Carlisle, but you may call him Alasdair if you desire.”
Caroline looked appalled at the idea, so appalled she stopped where she was right in the middle of Hyde Park. Her maid and Charlotte's footman, both trailing at a discreet distance and chatting in a familiar manner that Caroline did not entirely approve of, sat down on a nearby bench. “I couldn't possibly!”
“Oh, pheasant feathers! You're making such a fuss over nothing! Very well, call him McGregor.” Charlotte twirled her parasol in a determinedly unconcerned fashion and smiled at a pair of passing ladies. “Mrs. Hawkins is looking plump. Do you think she's increasing again?”
“I doubt it. Mr. Hawkins has been in Belgium this last year. As I was saying, if your husband has already contacted his solicitors about the matter, there is no need for you to go running off on another one of your hen-witted plans.”
“There is every need, Caro,” Charlotte said, refusing to rise to the hen-witted bait. She dimpled out of habit as a small clutch of dandies on horseback looked their way. The weather had turned sunny again, making it very pleasant to take a stroll through the park, especially since they were in clear view of Rotten Row so they could see and be seen. Still, she had a job to do. Duty must come before pleasure. Extracting a small memorandum book from her reticule, she slipped her arm through Caroline's and urged her in the direction she wished to go. “Solicitors are notoriously slow, and I haven't the time to wait on their pleasure. Besides, I'm not sure I can trust them to find in Alasdair's favor, as I will.”
“Butâ”
“Only you can help meâyou are a veritable mountainhead of gossip, Caro!”
“
Fountainhead
.”
“You must be aware of the very precarious position Alasdair and I are in at the moment. One more scandal and even I will not be able to salvage our standing with the
ton
. Thus I turn to you, my dearest and closest friend and confidant, for aid.” Charlotte blinked quickly and dabbed her handkerchief at a nonexistent tear. “I have no one else I can turn to.”
“I know full well you're not crying; you hate crying. Tears make your eyes turn red and swollen, and your nose becomes afflicted, and sometimes you get the hiccups as a result, so you're not fooling me into thinking that you'd weep now over something so trivial.”
“Trivial!” Charlotte's glare was untainted by tears. “My life is not trivial!”
“Your life is not at stake here, only your prideâ”
“My pride! Oh, I like that! How would you feel if your dearest Algernon suddenly found himself stripped of his title, disgraced and demeaned before everyone?”
“That wouldn't happen; dearest Algernon's father was viscount before him, and he has no brothersâ”
Charlotte came to a halt, her fists clenched, her teeth gritted. She would not scream in public, no matter how strong the provocation. “My point, which you seemed to have missed entirely, is that this matter is one of extreme importance. You will at least grant me that.”
“Yes,” Caroline said with much dignity, pulling her gaze from a heavily mustachioed gentleman in order to give her friend her full attention. “I agree that it is important, but I do not think it is a matter of life or death, and because it is not, I am unable to help with whatever plan you have organized. Dearest Algernon was not at all pleased when he found out I assisted you at Lady Jersey's masquerade, and after the scene at the Duchess of Deal's ballâ¦well, I'm sorry, but I must consider his position, as well as my own. I cannot help you.”
Charlotte tugged Caroline's reticule from her wrist, pulling from it a small diamond-encrusted gentleman's watch that was a much cherished memento of Caroline's father, turning a small knob on the top of the watch face.
“What on earth are you doing?” Caroline asked, her bewilderment plain.
“I have set your papa's watch forward an hour. We will assume we have spent the past hour arguing over whether you will help me. It is now an hour later. You have been worn down by my brilliant arguments and charming wit and have agreed to help me.”
Caroline blinked at her in surprise. “I haven'tâ”
“No, but you would if I continued. You know you would; you've never yet been able to withstand one of my pervasive arguments. So why don't we dispense with the need to waste an hour debating the point and move on to the part where you agree to help me with my plans.”
Caroline looked as if she was going to argue the point. Then her shoulders slumped and she accepted the watch, tucking it away carefully in her bag before starting forward again. “The word is
persuasive
, and I'm not going to forget this, Charlotte, I'm truly not.”
“If it churns your butter,” Charlotte said with a bright smile. “I heard Gillian say that. Isn't it quaint? Now, as for my plansâ”
“There's more than one?” Caroline asked in a voice faint with horror.
“Yes, I had a brilliant thought on the way over here, and I believe I have a solution to our problem with the
ton
. As you well know, they will continue to chew over this latest scandalâthe one involving the Pretenderâuntil something more meaty catches their attention. Therefore, I propose to present them with a morsel so tempting, all thought of Dare and the Pretender will be wiped from their collective minds.”
“You've forgotten the original scandal, the one that came about when I inadvertently allowed Lady Brindley to know your husband hasn't consummated your marriage. And I should add that it is my own role in that sad business that is the only reason I will help you now. I owe you recompense for the damage I did you.”
Charlotte let her dimples flash, a sweet blush of maidenly innocence that she always found particularly effective pinkening her cheeks as she spoke. “Sweet Caro, I knew you couldn't refuse me, although truly I do not blame you for that situationâLady Brindley is just the sort of a woman who would stand about in a maze eavesdropping on people. Regardless, that bit of scandal is no more since Dareâ¦well, you must take my word that it is no more.”
Caroline's eyes brightened as she looked around them quickly to make sure they were not overheard. “Did heâ¦?”
Charlotte, with practiced ease, urged the blush to darken as she modestly cast her gaze down to her hands. She nodded. “He did.”
“And was itâ¦?”
“Perfectly splendid, as I knew it would be.”
Caroline breathed a happy sigh. “I'm so pleased for you, but must admit I'm a bit confused as well. Are you suggesting that you will create another scandal to draw attention away from the one regarding Mr. Geoffrey McGregor?”
“Exactly. You might not be the sharpest apple in the barrel, but you do have your wicks lit when it matters.”
“Iâ¦sharpest?” Caroline shook her head. “Char, I don't understand why you would think creating another scandal is the solution to your problem. People will still be talking about youâif not because of the Geoffrey McGregor situation, then because of whatever new scandal you cause.”
“Don't be a goose, Caro, I'm not going to start a scandal about myself. It will concern someone else.”
“Oh.” Caroline continued to look confused. “How are you going to do that? I can't imagine anyone would care to have a scandal started about them. I know I should protestâdear Lord, you're not planning on using me?”
“Would I do that?” Charlotte asked, allowing herself a small moue expressive of wounded feelings.
“If you thought it would serve you, quite probably you would.”
“Caroline Augusta Gwendlyspere! I would never deliberately engineer a scandal around you, and I am hurt and insulted that you would think otherwise.”
“I seem to recall someone not a hundred miles from here who, when we were both at Miss Bengyman's School for Gentlewomen, used me as a scapegoat when she was caught climbing into the library window after midnight in the company of Ted the groom.”
“Oh, pish, that was the merest coincidence.”
“Coincidence? You told Miss Bengyman that I was spoony over Ted and that you were trying to stop me from eloping with him.”
Charlotte frowned. “Caro, sweet Caro, might I remind you of the serious problem at hand? I cannot possibly be expected to remember every little event in my life, so if we might return our attention to the presentâ”
“I had to read sermons to old Mrs. Bengyman for an entire month, and you remember how horrible she was. She smelled of camphor and would insist on clacking those false teeth of hers when I least expected it. It was louder than a cannon shot.”
“âI will be happy to tell you my plan.”
“I was a nervous wreck after a few days. I ended up with a tic over my right eye for three months after that.”
“Namely”âCharlotte drew a deep breath and refused to argue with her sole remaining friendâ“one concerning Lady Brindley.”
That stopped Caroline in mid-squawk. “Lady Brindley? You plan on causing a scandal about Lady Brindley?”
“Shhh, do you want the whole of London to hear my plan? And who better to be the focus of a scandal? I couldn't very well go about involving someone innocentânot that the
ton
is overly ripe with innocents, but still, I would never deliberately hasten a scandal about someone who did not deserve it, and you must agree that if anyone deserves a little of the grief she's caused, it's Lady Brindley.”
Caroline looked thoughtful for a moment. “I must admit I cannot fault your reasoning there. She certainly has gone out of her way to injure both you and Lordâ¦Mr. McGregor. What exactly did you have in mind?”
“Well, do you remember telling me last week about the Marchioness of Welles's ball next week?”
A small frown of concentration wrinkled Caroline's forehead. “Yes, you said you detested Lady Welles, and you'd rather walk naked through Hyde Park than attend her ball.”
“I've changed my mind. Prinny is supposed to be there, yes?”
“You mustn't call him that; it's disrespectful. The Prince Regent is Hypatia's godfather, and yes, he said he would attend her ball. Why?”
“The ball is sure to be a crush, for everyone who does not remember Hypatia as a spotty little girl inclined to tell tales will be thereâin other words, it's the perfect setting for a scandal guaranteed to so shock and titillate Society, that foolish business with the Pretender will be forgotten in a trice.”
“What scandal?” Caroline said with evident worry.
Charlotte smiled. Oh, it wasn't a particularly nice smile, she knew that, it wasn't the sort of a smile she would allow anyone but a dear, trusted friend to see, laden with smug satisfaction and just a hint of wickedness, but it was still a smile. She gave herself several points for the fact that faced as she was with the complete and utter destruction of her social life, she could still smile. “Lady Brindley is going to have an accident at the ball. Or rather, her gown is.”
Caroline's eyes opened wide. “Her gown? You don't mean the one she was having fitted when I saw her at the modiste's?”
“Exactly that one. Or rather, a copy of it. That's where your help comes in.”
“My help? My help with what?” Caroline's voice rose at least an octave in her distress. Charlotte explained her plan in such detail as to make Caroline's blood run cold.
When she was finished Caroline walked in stunned silence for a few minutes, blinking now and again at her friend. “You really have a very frightening mind. It worries me, Char, it really does. I cannot help but think of what havoc you could wreak were your mind to one day snap. As for your plan⦔
Charlotte strolled on with her arm through Caroline's, her mind at ease as the latter lectured her on the folly of her plan. With the matter of a distracting scandal taken care of, she could focus on the much more important matter of proving the Pretender's claim false. No doubt Crouch could help her there. Crouch was very useful when it came to things of that sort, things such as kidnapping and investigating people who made claims against earls, and the like.
“Alasdair won't like my consulting Crouch,” she mused, incidentally interrupting Caroline's lecture, halting long enough to tear out the memorandum page of notes she'd written earlier for Caroline. “Certainly not after that silliness this morning when he tried to browbeat meâhonestly, Caro, it was browbeating, pure and simple! There ought to be a law against husbands abusing their wives in such a mannerâbut then, as Mama was wont to say, what he does not know cannot hurt me.”
“Er⦔
Charlotte handed her friend the slip of paper, tucking the memorandum book away in her reticule before waving to a woman near a large rhododendron. “There is Mrs. Whitney. She said she would be in the park today. For Alasdair's sake I must say hello, even if she is the most tiresome of women. It's been a lovely walk, Caro, and I take my leave of you secure in the knowledge that I have the dearest, sweetest friend in all England, a friend who I know will not let me down in my time of need. I shall spend a few minutes with Mrs. Whitney; then I must be on my way to set Crouch to investigating the Pretender. My best to your dear Algernon. Jackson, come along and stop flirting with Clothilde, I have a great number of things to do today.”