Noah (21 page)

Noah clenched his jaw. He’d hoped no one had noticed he
’d
felt
nearly faint when Hector
started in on
him.
He
was still thinking about
how to respond
,
when Gio hit him with another surprising observation. “But her reaction was worse than yours.”

That
was more than enough to persuade
Noah to turn back and face his best friend. “What do you mean?”

Gio straddled the wooden bench between the lockers and leaned
his
back against the wall. “She seemed shocked at first though
I’m pretty sure
she
was
tr
ying
to hide it.
And t
hen
…
I don’t know… hurt? She definitely
wasn’t happy about it
. Why do you think I threw the napkin at Hector and tr
ied
to make it sound like he was making that shit up
.
O
f course his dumb ass didn’t catch on until it was too late. Abel saw it too, man. He let Hector have it after you left.” 

Noah stared at him
.
He remembered
the change in her
tone last night when she mentioned his
‘
drive by
’
with Rita.
Could it be possible that
was the cause of her b
eing upset
?

When Hector first brought it up in front of her, his fear wasn’t that she’d be upset, but that
it would
confirm
what she was thinking all along
. That he
was
too young
and
immature and
in no way
someone
she’d ever consider
getting involved with
.  

He hadn’t even been sure until recently if he even wanted to be
involved with
anyone
. Was he really ready for a
serious
relationship
—ready to
settle down
? One thing he
did
know was he sure as hell didn’t want her dating anyone else.
And the thought of her settling down
while he was
still living in the same house with her was a thought he wouldn’t even entertain.

Noah
’s mind raced
replay
ing
l
ast night
’
s conversation, frowning when he remembered that she hadn’t really seemed upset until he brought up Derek. Was he really such a sore subject
for her still
? On Thanksgiving, she’d changed the subject admitting she didn’t want to talk about him.
After last night, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to bring him up again without making
things
uncomfortable.

She’d cried. Of that he was almost certain
as
he’d heard her voice give. Could she have possibly been crying about Rita? It made no sense. That would mean she had feelings for him—actually considered him a possibility. She made certain last night that he knew that wasn’t the case. So her tears
were
for Derek?     
 

Tightening his jaw, he went back to working on taping his hands.
“She
never
even mention
ed
Rita
, so I don’t know what to tell you about her looking upset. Maybe it just took her by surprise that dumb ass Hector would say something like that in front of her
.”

Noah wouldn’t mention the one comment she did make about it because then he’d have to explain that it’d been brought up only after he accused her of being jealous about Gio and the groupie. That alone would confirm what Gio was already insisting. That Noah
was
looking at her as more than just h
er
roommate. Otherwise, why would he care?

“Oh she was surprised. I’ll give you that. But there was more to it. Ask Abel if you don’t believe me. He even said he wouldn’t be surprised if you ended sleeping here last night.”

Noah looked up at him again. For as much as he was trying to be
indifferent
about his nosey friend’s observations Gio was making it damn hard. Only he knew
Gio wasn’t just being nosey. He was worried and Noah knew exactly why.

The one time Noah had gotten his hope
s
up about a chick his heart had been crushed. He was younger and a bit more naïve, but truth be told Noah had never
truly
been young in his life.
By the age of
eight he’d been through more shit than some adults he knew.
But like Jack had said to him once
,
“t
he heart is forever
inexperienced
.”
s
o maybe that was his problem.

Ironically,
Tessa
,
the
girl who’d crushed him
,
was also older as
well and
while the age difference wasn’t quite as big as the one between him and Roni, the difference between a sixteen-year-old virgin and a nineteen-year-old highly experienced girl
i
s
huge
.

Having always been big for his age
Tessa
like Roni, had thought him older when they first met. When she found out that not only was he three years younger tha
n
her but he was also a virgin she admitted that being his first would be exciting. Being with a nineteen-year-old who professed to being very experienced had been beyond any fantasy Noah had ever had about his first time. He never imagined the power any sex
,
much less
mind-blowing
sex
,
could have
on a
hormonally charged
sixteen-year-old
boy.
A
fter they started having it he was like a
love
sick puppy following her around, doing whatever she asked, even if she didn’t ask nicely.

The guys called him pussy
-
whipped and i
n
hindsight, it’s exactly what it was, but he couldn’t get enough. She became like a drug to him. He needed her and he confused that need for love. When she dumped his ass for an older guy he’d been devastated.
Only like now even back then he’d held
off from
admitting what he really felt. Gio was
the only one
to this day
who
knew Noah had actually cried for the bitch.
He’d broke
n
down
and
finally had to let it out and tell someone what he was going through.  

Noah
wasn’t himself for
months
after that. He beg
a
n getting in trouble for ditching and it was the only time in his life he’d tried drugs. Smoking pot and getting drunk was the only thing that helped numb the pain. Between Abel
,
and
Gio
trying to talk sense into him
and
then
Jack threatening to cut him off an
d
not allow him in the gym anymore—the only other thing that helped get his mind off her—he
stopped
sm
o
k
ing pot and concentrated on training
. Even with all the low moments his life
had been
riddled with, because this one came at a
n
ag
e when
the magnitude of
emotion with
any
thing that
went
wrong
was tenfold
, it stuck with him
and
Gio for a long time.  

But this was different. He’d yet to even touch Roni
—at this point it was looking like he never would
.
And though much like with Tessa, Roni was all he though
t
about lately
there was so much more to his feelings for
her
. Tessa
had been
every sixteen-year-old boy’s fantasy come to life
.
But other than the sex there was nothing remotely profound about their relationship. Besides
the
unforgettable
conversation he had with her when she admitted that being his first would be a turn on he couldn’t remember
even
one other conversation
with her
.

With Roni their relationship was all he had. A relationship that was growing even still—stronger and deeper than any he’d ever shared with anyone. 
As much as he wanted more with her he had to admit
tha
t the thought of ruining what they had now scared the shit out of him.

Noah shrugged bringing his attention back to the hand wrapping. “She was fine with it. She’ll be here tonight for her workout as usual. You’ll see.
”

Gio stood up. “All right. Whatever you say. But if I were you I
wouldn’t
let Hector in on how
fine
she was with it. Because you know the moment his ass gets a
chance,
he’ll be opening his mouth again.
Let what Abel told him stand even if things aren’t like we’re thinking because that was some uncomfortable shit last night.”

Noah nodded but refused to comment any further. He knew Gio wouldn’t be mentioning it if he didn’t really believe what he had seen. That Roni had been upset about Rita. It just didn’t make sense. Then there was that cheery note this morning.

Gio walked out of the locker room and Noah finished wrapping his hands. He’d just have to wait and see if she ever brought it up again. Or maybe he would.       
  

He’d decided the extra hour he had that morning he’d spend on the speed bag, but there was no way he was going to be able to concentrate until he spoke with Roni. He wanted to make sure she wasn’t still upset with him for
any
reason.
He had to know they were good.

He called her before walking out of the locker room but it went to her voicemail. He almost didn’t leave a message but decided last second to leave one.

“Hey, Roni. It’s me Noah. Listen I wanted to talk to you about last night. I hope you
’
r
e
not still mad at me. Can you call me when you get a chance? I’d feel better if we talked.”

Pressing the end
button,
he stared at the phone for a moment before dropping it in his gym bag. He pushed the whole thing into his locker and locked it up.

The relaxed training Noah had planned on doing with the speed bag turned out to be more grueling than expect
ed
after running into Abel out there. Abel said there were some things he saw Noah doing during the fight that he wanted to work on with him. He held the heavy bag for Noah while Noah worked the hell out of his lower jab. Abel thought Noah should’ve been able to take the guy down even sooner if he’d landed better ja
b
s. Noah knew exactly why his head hadn’t been completely in the fight but he wouldn’t mention it, instead he went along an
d
worked on his body jams.

The workout had served to get Roni off his mind because he hadn’t thought about her until he walked into the locker room again. Anxious to check his phone he pulled the gloves off as fast as he could.

“Hey man.” Noah turned just as he’d begun to work the combination lock on his locker to see Hector walking up to him. “I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t know things were like that with you and Veronica. I hope I didn’t mess things up for you.”

Remembering what Gio said, Noah decided to neither confirm nor deny anything.  He sure as hell didn’t want Hector
opening his big mouth again burning up any last shred of hope he might have of convincing Roni he was mature enough to handle her. “Nah
,
it’s cool. Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure? ‘Cause I could talk to her. You know tell her—”

“No! Don’t say anything to her. Just don’t bring up Rita again.”

Noah got the locker open and dug in his bag for his phone. He frowned. The disappointment of not having any missed call
s
was a little too much. He had to fight the urge to call her again. He’d see her soon enough.

“All right,” Hector said. “
But
if you ever need me to say anything I will.”