No Weapon Formed (Boaz Brown) (25 page)

All along, I’d been thinking
the Lord wanted me to take the leave for other people’s sake. Little did I
know, obeying Him was as much for my good as the people I was serving.

“Yeah, baby, He’s beyond
good.”

Of course, Dr. Hunt called
and asked if I might be interested in returning to the campus sooner rather than
later. “No pressure,” she said. “It’s just a question.”

“Let me get back to you.”

I started to make a note to
myself to pray about it the next morning, but I got an answer in my heart
almost immediately:
Not yet.
I didn’t waste another minute thinking
about it. Called Dr. Hunt and told her I was out until further notice.

I had to make a stop at the
natural food store. Somehow, I had managed to run out of raw almonds, which had
become a favorite staple of Stelson’s lunch bucket. He’d texted me earlier that
day to ask if maybe they’d fallen out of his bag. Funny how a man who’d
previously raised his nose to unprocessed almonds had grown accustomed to the
crunchy, slightly sweet treats.

After the women’s fellowship,
I dashed into the market, poured a pound of almonds into one of the plastic
sacks, and checked out so I could get to Stelson’s office before the lunch hour
ended.

True to his word, Stelson had
asked Cooper to take on more of the out-of-town presentations so he could slow
down
after
he caught up on the work he’d missed. I think Cooper was so
happy to have the old Stelson back, he would have done just about anything to
appease him.

Cooper wasn’t the only one.

“Hi, Helen. Stelson’s in,
right?”

“Sure is. Where’s the little
one?”

“At Mom’s Day Out. Gives me a
break every week.”

“Yes.” Helen chuckled. “They
can be a handful.”

I knocked on Stelson’s door.

“Come in.”

Opening the door slowly, I
thrust my arm through the space and dangled the bag of almonds.

“Yes!” he cried, clapping.

Joy at hearing my husband’s
squeal spread through me as I walked into his office, giggling like a school
girl. “I hope you’ll enjoy these.”

“Thanks, babe. You didn’t
have to go the extra mile.” He stood, leaned over the desk and kissed me.

“You’re worth it.”

He nabbed a handful from the
bag and threw them into his mouth.

The pile of papers and two
lit monitors on his desk attested to what must have been an enormous amount of
work. “Chop-chop. I’ll let you get back to business.”

I sashayed away, knowing he
was watching my backside.

“Shondra,” he said as I held
the doorknob.

“The almonds? Was that all?”

“Yep.”

“Oh. I thought maybe you were
trying to get lucky.”

A deep laugh rumbled from my
throat. “Mmmm. I don’t believe in luck. I believe in makin’ it happen.” I
slipped out the door knowing I’d put a little something on his mind; a reason
to get home early.

Daddy had left me three long
messages, all saying the same thing. He had some books he wanted to run by me,
to make sure they were okay for Seth.

Thankfully, Jonathan had
convinced my father via a 3-way-call that it was okay to let Seth be a kid and
get grounded in his own identity before we threw on the other social layers.

“His identity is forming
now
,”
my father had argued.

Again, I realized he had a
point. My studies in education confirmed that much of children’s personalities were
ingrained before they ever started school. “Daddy, we want you to take part in
building Seth’s self-esteem. We just don’t want you to tear down other people
in the process.”

I supposed the books were the
product of that conversation. When I got to Daddy’s house, he took Zoe from me
and sang to her, “PawPaw’s got some books for you, PawPaw’s got some books for
you.”

I put my father’s prepared
meals in the freezer and followed him to the den, where Seth was already on the
floor, sitting next to two piles of colorful children’s books. “Ooooh! PawPaw!
Look at this man’s face!”

My son held up a book with a
picture of Dizzy Gillespie’s puffed up cheeks.

“Yes, sirree. He was a great
musician. Not just an entertainer, a
musician
. Big difference. Everybody
loved him.”

“He looks funny.” Seth held a
finger to his lips and tried to inflate his cheeks like Mr. Gillespie’s.

Laughter gurgled from Zoe’s
mouth; she found Seth’s face extremely funny. Her eyes closed to near slits,
laughing at him. Seth took a deep breath and made the face again. Zoe snickered
harder.

Daddy put her on the ground
so she could explore Seth and the mysterious cheeks more.

Daddy and I stood side by
side, looking down at the kids.

Lord, please don’t let
Seth pass out trying to keep this girl happy.

“You look just like him!”
Daddy encouraged Seth. “Maybe you could take saxophone lessons after you finish
with Mrs. Gambrell.”

A quick glance at the titles
and pictures showed books mostly by and about African-Americans, with big
yellow and white stickers from Half-Price Books.

There were a few about post
office stamps, which Daddy probably got for himself as much as Seth.

“You like the books?” Daddy
asked.

“Yes. These are great. Thank
you,” I said, my eyes still on the children.

“Yeah. I had a coupon. I got
a few white people books, too, you know. For balance.”

“Balance is good.” I nodded,
knowing this was as close as I was going to get to an admission of error from
my father.

He crossed his arms on his
chest. “That Seth is smart, you know?”

“Yep.”

“And Zoe’s gonna be right
behind him.”

“She sure is,” I said. “I’m
glad you got the books, Daddy.”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah.
Me, too.”

Six months later

Father, thank You for
Jesus. Thank You for victory in Him. Stelson has been symptom-free for two
months. Daddy’s behaving, for the most part, though I really need to make sure
we’re on the same page about what we consider cusswords in our household. He
thinks we’re raising Seth to be soft. I ask that You bring us to another
understanding, as now Zoe thinks the world of her grandfather, too.

Why did You do that, Lord?
Why did You make grandparents so special to grandkids and vice versa?

I know You know what You’re
doing, even if I don’t get it. I really don’t get why you’ve got me teaching a
segment in the women’s Bible study on not-so-real scriptures. Me, teaching
people the Word of God? Who knew? I guess You did!

I’m going back to work
next month. Thank You for the help system from such an unexpected source—well,
unexpected to me, but not to You. Between Momma Miller and Miss Hattie, both of
my kids will probably gain ten pounds.

I’m thankful for the
opportunity to bless these ladies financially, too.

Father, in all of the
things that have transpired over this last year, the good…the very best thing—next
to learning to forgive my husband so the enemy can’t strike from the inside—has
been reconnecting with You.

My prayer, Lord, is that
You keep me. Like David said in Psalm 119:10. Do not let me stray from Your
commands. I want 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 to be my testimony. You are faithful
to do it.

And while You are at it,
keep my husband, too. Keep our family under the shadow of Your wings, where no
weapon formed against us will ever, EVER prosper.

In Jesus’ name I pray.
Amen.

1. LaShondra and Stelson discuss “the
black talk”. LaShondra feels it’s necessary to prepare Seth for the specific
challenges he may face as an African-American. Stelson doesn’t want to pour the
fear of man into his children’s hearts. Do you agree more with LaShondra or
Stelson? Why?

2. Have you had a
black
talk, an
overweight
talk, a
girl
talk, a
disability
talk, or any such kind of
discrimination talk with a child? Did one of your parents have this kind of
talk with you? Is this a talk that needs to happen? If so, when?

3. LaShondra says she can’t stay home
with her kids because they will drive her crazy. Which do you think is
easier—being a full-time mom or a full-time employee?

4. LaShondra didn’t have time to take
care of her broken toe. Though the injury was minor, it was a major issue for
Stelson, who insisted that she go to the doctor. Do you ever skimp on taking
care of yourself due to work or other obligations?

5. LaShondra admits to herself that she
cannot successfully balance home and work, yet she makes the decision to keep
trying. Can you relate to her struggle? Do you think it is possible to juggle
commitments as a wife, mother, and career woman while nurturing your physical
and spiritual health all in the same season? If so, how? If not, what area(s)
tend to suffer?

6. Peaches mentioned that Stelson could
just as easily leave his job. Do you think it’s a godly arrangement for
able-bodied men to be stay-at-home dads while wives work outside of the home?

7. LaShondra almost left Baby Zoe in the
car. This was a major turning point for her. Have you ever done (or almost
done) something tragic that marked a turning point in your life?

8. Do you think the incident at the movie
theater was racially motivated? What are your thoughts about what happened to
this couple after shopping at a local Walmart (see link below)?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/21/virginia-parents-walmart-biracial-daughters_n_3313143.html

9. In her first full week off from work,
LaShondra reactivates her prayer life and discovers that she has resentment in
her heart. How does your prayer life affect you?

10. LaShondra makes out a list of fears
that kept her from fully surrendering to God. What would your list look like?

11. LaShondra has to consciously decide
not to let herself slip into a cynical, anti-white mode while at the picnic
with church members. She wonders if everyone is secretly fighting a battle. Do
you think everyone is fighting a secret battle? Have you had to fight secret
battles?

12. LaShondra’s father reminded her of
the Cheerios commercial portraying a biracial child with an African-American
father and caucasian mother (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYofm5d5Xdw
). What was your reaction when you first
saw the commercial?

13. As LaShondra discovered, Lyme disease
is a hotly debated topic in the medical community. There are even allegations
that the disease originated as a government experiment with biological warfare,
since it was only “discovered” in the late 1970s despite the fact that deer and
ticks have inhabited the continent for centuries. Are you suspicious of the
relationship between doctors, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies,
and government? Why or why not?

14. Jonathan expressed his opinions about
black women, particularly those raised in the south by fathers just like his
own. He says he likes a woman with “bite”, but not if she bites him. Do you
agree or disagree with Jonathan’s perspective?

15. Peaches fussed at LaShondra because
LaShondra called Peaches before calling on God. Whom do you call first for
answers?

16. Stelson’s attitude change was brought
on by extreme physical pain. Do you think LaShondra should have been able to
overlook his sharp comments under the circumstances? Are you quick to overlook
people’s ugly words when you know they are suffering physically, emotionally,
or spiritually?

17. The older women at LaShondra’s table
tell her that in order to pray for Stelson’s healing, Stelson may need to be
clean from sin first. Do you agree or disagree? LaShondra had to “shut them
out” in order to keep her faith in tact. Have you ever had to stop listening to
someone’s advice because you realized they were usually wrong?

18. LaShondra was surprised when Minister
Windham prayed for Stelson on the spot. Do you usually pray for people
immediately or later when they ask? Have there been times when you said you
would pray for someone but didn’t? How can we be more faithful to pray for
others?

19. After Stelson’s headaches begin to
subside, LaShondra doesn’t tell Stelson the truth about her lingering hurt
feelings. Instead, she goes into self-preservation mode and tries to limit her
vulnerability. Are there times when you need to cover yourself, or does doing
so taint a relationship?

20. LaShondra feels better knowing that
if push ever came to shove in her marriage, she and the kids would be okay
because she would have her own income. Do you think it’s important for a woman
to keep herself in a position to support herself and her children financially
without a man’s help? If you are a SAHM, are you ever concerned about what
would happen if your husband’s income disappeared?

21. At the hospital, Quinn tells Shondra
that while Stelson is a brother in Christ, he still has flesh and might do
something unthinkable under the wrong circumstances. Do you believe in the
adage “never say what you won’t do”?

22. LaShondra never imagined that she
might be a caregiver for Stelson at such an early age. Do you know someone who
is a caregiver for a spouse or an aging parent? How has this role changed
his/her life?

23. Throughout the book, LaShondra
struggles to maintain her faith despite her close moments with God. How do you
handle challenges to your faith? Is there someone who intercedes for you or
speaks hope into your life?

24. LaShondra didn’t speak up with the
older women because she was disappointed that they weren’t more mature
believers. Later, the Lord teaches her that He can use her with any audience.
How do you balance sharing your thoughts with elders who may have unbiblical beliefs?

25. Stelson was relieved to find people
who were also dealing with illnesses. Do you find it helpful or detrimental to
connect with others who are experiencing similar trials?