No Way Home (22 page)

“Oh, well, pardon me, Miss Manners. He dumped you once and you settled for me. Don’t you even have enough pride not to go kissing his ass the minute he walks in the door?”

“Go to hell,” Lillie exclaimed, turning her back on him and storming out of the office. After slamming the door, she strode down the hall, berating her husband in her mind. When she opened the doorway to the stairs and started down, she was shaking with rage. She got as far as the landing and forced herself to stop.

Lillie leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath. The way he put everything was so ugly, so vicious, that it made her feel sick. But she could understand it. She could. He felt that she was turning to Jordan instead of him. And it was his greatest fear. He had always been jealous of Jordan. And, she thought with a stab of guilt, was he so wrong? There was no wrongdoing to accuse her of, and his fears that she would leave him for Jordan were unfounded. She had her life. Jordan was in the past. But he had been her one great love, and some memory of that still lingered, like an elusive scent, around her. Pink was not a fool. He could smell it, and it frightened him. But long after Jordan had gone back to New York, she and Pink would have to keep on with their lives together. It wasn’t up to Pink to make amends, she thought. It was up to her.

Slowly she turned and climbed the stairs. She walked back down the hall. It did no good to run away from it, she thought. The door to the office was closed but not shut tight. As she put her hand on it to push it she realized he must have come running after her. He must have followed her out, maybe tried to cry out to call her back, but the words stuck in his throat. She felt a little rush of warmth for him. She pushed the door open and walked in. He was on the phone behind the partition. She wanted to surprise him, so she waited.

“Well, when will he be back?” Pink was saying. “Well, tell Sheriff Ansley that Pink Burdette called, and that it is very important that he call me back. Thank you, Francis.”

He does care, Lillie thought. He cares more than he could ever show. Now he’s taking matters into his own hands. He’s going to assert himself about this. Well, fine, good. It’s high time he started pushing on this. She felt the old warmth for her husband, who worked so hard, so uncomplainingly, for them, who had given his best. She wanted to apologize to him and to make him believe it. She did love him. He had always tried so very hard.

Before she could speak his name, she heard him dial again. And then she heard him say, “Yes, hello. I need to speak to one of your cadets, Tyler Ansley. Yes, well, I’m sure he is, but I need to get this message to him immediately. This is of the utmost importance. Please tell him to call Mr. Burdette at this number right away.” Pink recited the office number. “Be sure you tell him not to call me at my home. That’s my office number. That’s right. At my office. Right away. It’s urgent. All right. Good-bye.” Pink put down the phone. He rubbed his sweaty hands rapidly together and clasped them against his forehead. Then he sat up and swiveled around in his chair.

Lillie was standing beside the partition, staring at him, her face as white as paper.

“OH, CHRIST,” PINK EXCLAIMED.
He glanced guiltily at Lillie’s shocked expression and then he looked away, scowling. The stuffy office was dead silent. “Don’t look at me like that,” he muttered. “I thought you were gone. Why the hell did you come back here?”

Sparks exploded in Lillie’s stomach, searing her from the inside out. She blinked at him, as if she could not get his face into focus. A face she knew. Thought she knew.

Pink pushed himself out of his chair and the chair swiveled back and banged into a filing cabinet. Lillie jumped and let out a cry. Pink, who had stalked over to the office door, to close it, turned on her.

“Spare me the hysterics, Lillie.” He sighed. “Just say what you’re going to say.”

“You were calling Tyler,” she said slowly. But it was almost a question, as if she still hoped she might have gotten it wrong.

“That’s right,” Pink said shortly.

“To warn him,” Lillie cried. “To warn him.”

“Yes,” said Pink. “That’s right.”

Lillie stepped right in front of him, so that he was forced to look directly at her. She spoke each word through clenched teeth. “Don’t you dare give me some little one-word answers. You tell me what the hell is going on here. Now.”

Pink hunched his shoulders and grasped the back of his chair. “There’s a good reason, Lillie,” he said.

Lillie felt as if her breath were short, as if she could not spare even one unnecessary word. “What?”

Pink’s eyes searched the corners of his office.

“No lies, Pink,” Lillie cried. “Enough lies. I know that look. You’ve had it on and off for weeks but I thought I was imagining it.”

“All right,” he said, frowning at her. “All right. Shouldn’t we go home and talk? This is no place.”

“Tell me now,” she insisted. “Why did you call Tyler? He killed her, didn’t he? Have you lost your mind? Why were you calling him?”

Pink dropped wearily down into his chair and covered his pale, damp face with his hands. The phone began to ring on his desk and he started, then reached out and picked it up. Without a second’s hesitation, Lillie leaned over the desk, jerked the receiver from his hand, and slammed it back down on the hook. Pink looked up as if to protest, but she stared back at him, wild-eyed.

Pink shook his head. “Lillie, I don’t know how to tell you this. I hoped you’d never find out.” He laid his trembling hands out flat on the desk in front of him. His fingertips made dark splotches on the blotter. “Yes,” he said. “It’s true. You guessed right. He did kill her.”

It didn’t matter that she had guessed. That she had wondered and speculated and figured it out. The words from Pink’s lips stunned her as if the thought had never crossed her mind. She groped for a chair and sat down.

“You knew this?” she whispered.

“I’ve known all along.”

“And you never told. You bastard.”

“Lillie, when I tell you—” he pleaded.

“You bastard,” she spat at him. “You knew and you let him go? And now you…you were calling to warn him?”

Pink came around to where she sat and stood helplessly in front of her. “Lillie, listen to me. Hear me out.”

Lillie leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She shook her head. “No,” she murmured. “No, no, no.”

Pink leaned over and shook her. Her eyes seemed to roll open, dulled and doll-like. “Your own daughter,” Lillie murmured incredulously. “You lying bastard. There is no possible excuse.”

“First of all,” Pink declared, “it wasn’t like you think. It wasn’t a murder, really. It was more of an accident, I guess you’d say. They were horsing around. The way kids do. They’d been drinking.”

“Tyler, you mean.”

“I’m getting to that.”

“Michele didn’t drink.”

“She did. She had some. Michele was not perfect, you know,” Pink said defensively.

“I don’t believe my ears!” Lillie jumped up from the chair.

“Sit down. I’m trying to tell you—” Pink began.

“I can’t breathe. I think I’m going to be sick,” she cried. “This boy murders your daughter in cold blood and all you can say is that she was drinking?”

“Don’t make this worse than it is,” Pink said. “I told you. He’s just a kid. He didn’t mean to do it.”

“The coroner said she had been struck at least three severe blows to the base of her skull. Do you recall that, Pink?”

Pink drowned her out with his continuing explanation. “They were down by the bridge after the fair. They had some moonshine. And Tyler got drunk. You know what he’s like. He’s an alcoholic. He still had the baseball bat with him from the game. And Michele was teasing him. Just flirting, I guess, but she got him all worked up and he took a swing at her.

“Say it. He murdered her. He beat her head in.”

“It all happened in an instant,” Pink protested. “Before they even knew…”

“And you agreed to protect him?” Lillie cried. “Royce knows all this? And you went along with it? Are you crazy, Pink?”

“I had to,” Pink shouted back.

“You had to!”

“It was an accident,” Pink pleaded.

“Never, never,” said Lillie, kneading her hands unconsciously as if she were freezing to death. “Never.”

“I had to,” Pink repeated. Sweat had beaded up all over his face, and his forehead was knotted, as if he was in pain. “It was…you see, Grayson was there.”

Lillie stared at Pink. Her breath escaped her as if by a blow. She exhaled one word. “Grayson?”

“They were all three down there at the Arches,” Pink said hurriedly. “Grayson had a few drinks in him too. And that Tyler is like a bear. Grayson never had a chance to stop him.”

“Grayson?” she repeated. “Our Grayson?”

“Oh, Lillie, stop it. For chrissakes. The way you say it. As if he was responsible or something. I mean, it’s alcohol. I know it’s tragic, but these things happen with kids. It could have happened to anybody.”

Pink stopped and looked worriedly at his wife. “Lillie, you look awful,” he said. “I know it’s a shock. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.” He reached out a hand to steady her. “Come on and sit down again, honey. You’re wobbling like your legs are going to give out on you there.”

Lillie snatched her arm away from him. He was right. For a moment she had teetered, craving oblivion to release her, but she was too angry to give way. “Don’t you touch me,” she growled at him. “Don’t you dare.”

“I knew it,” said Pink. “This is what I was afraid of.”

“Let me make sure I understand this,” she said, forming each word as if her mouth were numb. “Tyler Ansley killed my daughter while Grayson stood by and watched it happen. And you decided not to tell me—just to let them get away with it.”

Pink was sweating profusely. There were half-moons of perspiration under the arms of his shirt. “No. Not like that. Royce and I…He found them there. I don’t know. It seemed like the best solution. Not just to let them get away with it. But what good would it do to ruin both their lives? It wouldn’t bring Michele back. And they were sorry. Let me tell you. You have never seen two boys carry on so. It was just a horrible, horrible accident.”

“Ruin their lives,” Lillie exclaimed.

“Lillie,” Pink said earnestly. “Believe me, I know how you feel. I wanted to kill them both with my bare hands when I heard. But we had to try and be rational. We had to think of the consequences. That’s why we didn’t tell you. We knew you’d be too upset to think straight.

“And then Royce came up with the idea of the military school for Tyler. And honestly, those places are almost worse than prison. Believe me, they can straighten that boy out, those tough old officers they’ve got there…”

“Stop it, Pink. Just stop it,” she said furiously. “He’s a killer. He killed our daughter. And you let him walk away for Grayson’s sake. Don’t pretend it’s anything else. I’m not a fool. You did it so that no one would find out that he just let his own sister die and did nothing. So no one will know what a coward he was.”

Pink’s red face went suddenly pale, and he wagged a warning finger at his wife. “Don’t say that about him, Lillie. He feels bad enough. Don’t you call him a coward.”

“No, no, you’re right,” cried Lillie, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. “We mustn’t hurt his feelings. Even though Michele lost her life and he just stood by and watched.” Pink scrutinized her through narrowed eyes as Lillie stood trembling with fury, her mind racing.

“Well,” she said. “We’ll just see about that.” She turned and started for the door. In an instant Pink was in front of her, blocking her path. When she reached past him for the doorknob, Pink grabbed her wrist.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

Lillie looked up at him fiercely, tears in her eyes. “I’m going to find him,” she said. “He is going to answer to me. How could you, Pink? You liar. All of you. Liars.”

“Lillie, you can’t tell anyone else.”

“Why?” she cried. “Why, Pink? So I can be a liar too?”

Pink’s face had taken on a strange, stiff cast, and his eyes had a smoldering, faraway look in them. “I knew you would react like this,” he said, tightening his grip on her. “Now you’re going to listen to me. I’m through apologizing to you. Grayson is just a young boy. He has his whole life ahead of him. I won’t let you destroy him.”

Lillie’s eyes blazed out at him and she shoved him back with the wrist he was still gripping. “He’s a liar and a coward and a…a traitor,” she cried. “And I don’t care who knows it.”

It was only an instant that they stood locked together, glaring at one another, but it seemed much longer to Lillie. The bones in her wrist felt as if they were being crushed as she twisted it in his grip. It was with a sense of disbelief that she saw him raise his fist and by the time she realized what was next, it was too late to guard her face. Her teeth banged together and blood spurted into her mouth as the punch landed hard on her cheekbone. The blow buckled her knees. She felt Pink shove her away from him and she fell, hitting the wall behind her.

Her eye throbbed in the socket and for a minute she was too stunned to move, but then she saw him looming above her and she scrambled to her feet.

“I won’t let you!” Pink cried, and then his voice broke. “I’m sorry, Lillie, but I can’t.”

“Yoo-hoo,” came a voice from the hall and the doorknob rattled. “Pink, are you in there? It’s Reba.” Pink and Lillie did not move or speak. They both heard Pink’s associate open her purse and begin to fumble for keys.

“Oh, me,” Reba said in exasperation. “Where are they?”

As if in a trance, Pink turned, walked to the door, and unlocked it. He hesitated a minute and then he pulled it open. He looked blankly out at Reba.

“Honey,” she scolded, “it’s not good for business to keep this door locked during weekend hours. This is our busiest time.” Still fussing about her keys, Reba bustled in past Pink, her arms full of packages. She gave Pink an indulgent smile and then her gaze fell on Lillie, who was standing with her body turned toward the wall, holding the side of her face. A yellowish bruise was already visible above her fingers and her eye was starting to swell shut. Reba’s smile faded away as she looked from Lillie back to Pink.