No Wasted Tears (39 page)

“You know what I did, Adam? I pushed it so far back in my mind that I actually tried to pretend it never happened. I wanted to get on with my life.” She paused. “I was so determined to move on that I absolutely refused to look back. I had the baby. Tina adopted her. I moved to Charleston and found myself in another
mess.”

Struggling to maintain some semblance of composure, he met her scrutinizing gaze once more. “All right. So you moved to Charleston. How? You said you’d let Tina adopt the child. Why did you feel this was a
mistake?”

“It wasn’t until I got saved, Adam, that I began to feel as if there was an extra weight in my life. Now I understand that God wants me to get rid of all the things that have caused my life so much pain. I got tired of hurting, tired of feeling like it was my fault, and tired of the dreams. That’s why I started attending Healing Virtue counseling at the church.” She looked at him now with a renewed determination in her
eyes.

“I agree,” Adam said, “that Elder Ford is the best because I believe the Lord had me put her in that position because of her compassion for hurting women. Plus, she has had firsthand experience. She was in an abusive relationship that ended in the unfortunate death of her
husband.”

Destiny was not surprised by this she knew Elder Ford’s testimony.

“Destiny, I’m sure it has helped you work through some of your pain and hurt from that experience. You mentioned Charleston; what happen
there?”

She knew if she was to be completely honest he had to know about everything. “Adam, do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to tell you this?” Trembling hands touch her forehead, praying to keep the headache at bay until she
finished.

“The man who raped me was Stanley’s best friend. Stanley and Curtis had been friends since their college days. Curtis was in love with a young lady named Denise. She was also in college with them. But something happened, and Stanley ended up with Denise. Curtis was mad because he really loved
her.

“I was a pawn in a game they were playing with each other. Curtis raped me. But that wasn’t the worst part. He threatened me and said I’d better not go the police or he’d make sure Richard wouldn’t be able to walk or ever play football again. I loved Tina and Richard, so I made them promise not to go to the police. After having the baby, I moved to Charleston, took the job I was offered by Stanley, and eventually moved in with him because I thought I needed him to protect me.

She watched as Adam got out of his chair and sat on the side of the bed. Overcome by the wealth of her emotion, Destiny cried harder. She made a bit of a protest when he first cradled her against his
chest.

He pulled back, placing a tender kiss on her bruised forehead, another on her nose. At the sight of tears pooling beneath her lashes, he tenderly gathered Destiny against him once again. Defeat sucked the wind out of his sails. “What kind of man treats a woman this way? God created a woman to be loved, cherished above measure but never man handle or used!” He hated the frustration that colored his
tone.

“Please don’t cry, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay. We can make it through all of this together. So, Taylor is really your child?” She lay there, looking at him for a moment that seemed to last
forever.

Destiny heard the sincerity in his voice. Pulling back, Adam fluffed her pillow and helped her lay back down comfortably on the bed. “I admire you for not having an abortion. You gave that little girl at chance at a happy life. You did good
Destiny.”

“I’d done my research.” She’d been a part of a single parent home since the day she was born and she wanted more for her daughter. The best research showed children with two parents in the home usually offered stability for a child. God knows she wasn’t stable at the time. He had just said she had done the right thing. But now he was silent and that worried her. What was he thinking? If she were totally honest with herself, she would admit how good it felt to have him here. She’d always felt safe with Adam. She wanted to lean into those broad shoulders now just to have his strong arms around her once
again.

“I want to help you work through all of this in any way I can. You are a strong woman in the Lord and God knows I celebrate the woman before me right
now.”

Those words took her breath away when her heart was already shuddering. Now she truly believed they could really make their relationship
work.

“Why?” Her lips trembled. She bit them together.
Don’t get your hopes
up. This is Adam…he’
s too logical to rea
lly believe there’s
still a
chance.

His eyebrows shot upward. “Seriously?”

When she made no effort to amend her demand, he made a dry, pained sound that might have been an attempt at a laugh. “You’re someone who means the world to me and from the beginning I’ve told you God brought you into my life at the right time. I want us to work, Destiny.”

With all her heart Destiny knew he cared about her; that he would never stop. He was truly a believer. He had never given up on her. That gave her so much joy that even being in this hospital couldn’t make her doubt that
now.

Chapter 41

He’d gotten her to eat, which was a step in the right direction for her to get out of the hospital. She’d given him the story from the beginning. She was eating her ice chips, her dark eyes searching his, before asking, “You think I’m crazy, don’t
you?”

My God. How was he going to make her understand he cared more for her than any words would convey? He understood that awful place she was in and wanted to help her more than he wanted to draw in his next breath. He did not for one second believe she was crazy. “Destiny, I know you’re not. Sometimes we all make mistakes but those mistakes can become miracles if we allow God to make them
so.”

A nurse came in to check her vital signs, so their conversation was put on hold for a few minutes. As she left the room he glanced around before he
continued.

“Do you remember me telling you about a conference I attended when we met on the plane?” He asked in a voice that was toneless, showing no hint of
emotion.

Destiny looked down at her hands for a moment. “Yes…yes I do…” she said, returning her gaze to his. “You said you conducted a seminar. On my birthday date you told me it was on Pastor’s and Cyber-porn.”

He lowered his gaze and sighed. “It’s complicated…but I want you to know everything about me as well. I have always desired to have a relationship filled with the love of a God-fearing woman. I thought I’d found that in a young lady named Regina Webber who
I met in college. Her father was a pastor, and I thought she was the one.” Reclining back in his chair, Adam closed his eyes and rubbed his temples before continuing. Turning he noticed a surprised look in her
eyes.

He watched as she searched his face. He wanted her to trust him. Her past relationship hadn’t been based on
trust.

“Did you just say her name was Regina?” She adjusted herself in the bed, her hands was
shaking.

“Yes, I did.” He watched her trying to see where this was leading.

“Oh my God, that’s the same woman Stanley mentioned to me. He said she told him I was here in Seattle.” She shook her head as if she was trying to figure out what was going
on.

“I can’t believe she did that. I knew she was having some problems because of the way she showed up at my office, but to do this to you is unbelievable.” He got up from his
chair.

“Adam, if you don’t want to finish this conversation today it’s all right, I understand. We both know you don’t have to.” He’d almost lost her a few weeks ago. He refused to let the enemy use any kept secret destroy what they were trying to build. He wanted Destiny to see that it was time for both of them to move forward. Sitting back down, he reached for her free
hand.

“Because I asked her to marry me, but when I told her I was moving back to Seattle to minister, all bets were off and we broke up. After returning home I got involved with a young lady via the Internet on one of those social sites. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was addicted to cyber-porn.” The silence thickened around them. Adam didn’t have to tell her every detail, but she had to know some aspects of how serious it was. He moved his head from side to side, frustration setting his lips in a grim
line.

“I hated the man I became during that time. All those years wasted because I was weak in my flesh. I couldn’t see any good, only the bad or the potentially bad. I was a sick man sinking deeper everyday into the depths of sin.” His gaze shifted to the row of windows beside her bed. “I am proud to say I’m delivered from cyber-porn. But just recently Regina showed up at my church. I haven’t seen her in five
years.”

Adam wanted one thing to be crystal clear in all this. He was determined to go through with his plan to discuss all of this with
her.

One of his broad shoulders rose and fell in a dismissive shrug that Destiny felt wasn’t quite representative of how he felt. He waited a beat before continuing. “When I realized that she was interested in reconnecting, I told her I had no intention of getting back together with her, and I asked her to leave.” He paused, his voice brimming with disgust. “Regina has always wanted the easy way out. She sees only the glitz and glamour. That’s not true
ministry.”

She wiped an invisible piece of dust from her sheet before responding, “I know the pastor’s wife role is different than any other and sometimes even
undefined.”

He took her hand. “God just wants any wife to be the best wife to her husband, everything else will fall into
place.”

“That’s all I would know how to do.” Destiny nodded
adamantly.

In that moment, Adam realized his desire to protect and shelter Destiny had kept
him from seeing how strong she was. She wasn’t just beautiful and kind and generous.
She was also smart and determined. He’d driven himself crazy with worry all of this time
and what he should have done was trust her like she asked him
to.

He lifted her hand and placed a kiss in the soft center. “Thank you for trusting
what we have to share it with me today. You didn’t have to do
that.”

Destiny felt tears burst from her eyes, hot scalding tears that ran unchecked down her cheeks. “No. I should be thanking you for staying,” she insisted softly, lacing her fingers with his. “I didn’t believe in myself or you. It wasn’t until…” she didn’t finish her
statement.

He touched her then. His hand came down over hers on the bed, urging her to finish when she didn’t he said, “until what? You started believing that I didn’t trust you because of the
past?”

“Yeah,” she reluctantly admitted. “I was so angry that my past had caught up with me, I couldn’t see how you could help at that time.” She gave her head a little shake but it felt as if a jar of marbles had spilled inside. She groaned and put her free hand to her temple—confusion, despair and disbelief all jostling for position. Adam squeezed her hand with the gentlest of pressure. “I love you Destiny, and I know all this must be a terrible shock. There was no easy way of telling
you.”

Destiny rapidly blinked away tears, her throat was feeling so dry she could barely swallow. As if he had read her mind, he released her hand and pulled the bed table closer, before pouring her a glass of water and handing it to
her.

“Here,” he said, holding the glass for her as if she were a small child. “Drink this. It will make you feel better.” She frowned as she pushed the glass away once she had taken a token
sip.

“I don’t understand…” She raised her eyes to Adam’s
gaze.

She swallowed. Was she dreaming? Was she hearing what she wanted to hear instead of what he was actually saying? That happened sometimes. She had done it herself, talked herself into thinking she had heard things, just because she hoped and hoped and hoped someone like Adam would say
them.

“I have shut off my emotions since my break up with Regina,” he said. “Saying ‘I love you’ is something I wanted to do. Please don’t cry, Destiny. Talk to me,” he urged
softly.

She sniffed. “I’m crying because you said you loved me despite all that has happened. I love you so much,” she confessed, using her good arm to pull him toward her. They shared a tender kiss. “I didn’t know what to think when they said you had been here and then left when I woke up,” she
said.

Adam shrugged. “Believe me, you didn’t want to see me then. After three days with no sleep, I was a wreck.” He gave her a hard kiss. “I want you to get better and get out of
here.”

Destiny pressed closer against his chest, loving the feel of him. She softly said, “I
will.”

Chapter 42

Regina opened her eyes, slowly glancing around the bedroom. She was still in her hotel room. Everything had gone terribly wrong. She hadn’t gotten the money from Stanley. That very thought gave her a reason to be upset. In her dream she was married and living in a mansion with Adam. The glow from the bedside lamp caused the light’s reflection to accentuate her body’s curves tangled up in the bed sheets. There was a look of jealousy on her face. Looking at the arm thrown across her breast, she moved to adjust her body, trying to get
comfortable.