Authors: India Lee
Tags: #Teen & Young Adult, #Literature & Fiction, #Performing Arts, #Music, #Romance, #Contemporary
What she often forgot about Beauford was its role in truly shaping who she was. Of course, she had begun her stint at Beauford High as Gavin’s little sister and lived secretly as Queen Bee, but somewhere between those two things, Gemma Hunter came into her own. There was more to her life than struggling with bullies like Madison and powering through classes, exams and hectic schedules. There were people like Lucas who remembered every little detail about her and effortlessly made her feel more special than any superstar alter ego she may have. There were people like Damian who loved her unconditionally and supported her when she herself thought she wasn’t worth it.
Though they were both now acquainted with Queen Bee, they had both known her first as Gemma Hunter. In fact, it was possible they knew Gemma better than she knew herself. She could hardly understand the point of keeping her true identity a secret when she had been losing touch with her true self without high school keeping her planted. Right now, Gemma Hunter was nothing more than a name.
Hot tears brimmed in Gemma’s eyes. She wanted to call Mira again but she knew she would only worry her with all the current thoughts in her head. She wanted to call her parents but she barely knew how to speak to them anymore. She wanted to call Tyler but she knew he could never truly understand. And Lucas was so far away. It was nearly midnight where he was but she didn’t know how to call him even if she could. Gemma instead picked up her phone and dialed the next best number.
“Hello?” Damian answered, his voice sounded groggy.
“Did I wake you?” Gemma asked. Her voice quivered and she knew immediately he could tell she was crying. He always knew.
“It’s fine. Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I just need to see you,” she cried.
“I’m in Oakland. Where are you?”
“Home. My home. Gemma’s home not Queen Bee’s fake home, not Tyler’s place. Mine,” she sobbed. She couldn’t stop herself now.
“Okay. Okay, calm down. I’ll be on the next plane down.”
~
“Thank you,” Gemma sighed as she threw herself into Damian’s arms. “Thank you for coming.” He pulled her into his warm body, smoothing back her hair.
“I was frisked before they let me in,” Damian said, narrowing his eyes at Andro as he walked into the foyer.
“Oh yeah, I’m sorry. This place is like, on lockdown,” Gemma laughed through her tears. “I can’t believe how soon you got here.”
Damian laughed. “Me neither. I actually drove to the airport first, bought my tickets at a red light, then got on the plane. I need to get back by midnight though because I have a home game tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry for making you come down here.”
“You didn’t,” Damian smiled. He kissed her gently on the forehead. “I wanted to come. Now talk to me.”
Gemma smiled through pursed lips. The moment she opened them, she knew there would be no going back on her words. “I just feel… like I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know who my friends are and I don’t know why I’m doing anything I’m doing. It just feels like I’m wasting everyone’s time and money and energy on something that makes no sense to me anymore,” she buried her face in Damian’s chest. He lowered his hands from her back to her waist. She felt him lower his face into her hair.
“It’s nice to see you out of costume,” he murmured. “I feel like I haven’t really seen you since that night at the
cevicheria
.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” she breathed. “All I feel like these days is just some shell of Queen Bee. An insecure one, too. Not even the mess I was as Gemma Hunter juggling Queen Bee’s life. Now it’s just a hollow version of
everything
I ever was. I just want a second of feeling like the
real
me with nothing in the way. No disguises, no bodyguards, no security detail, no frisking my friends before they come through the door.” Damian laughed. Gemma smiled, running her hands down his arms.
“It’s okay,” he said, kissing her on the top of her head. “It makes me happy because I know people are taking the right measures to keep you safe. Besides, getting to see you in here, the
real
you… feeling your hands again, without the wigs, without the costumes and all the people… it makes it okay that I was felt up by some random guy, I guess.”
Gemma laughed heartily – a real laugh. “Okay, good,” she smiled. She tilted her head up to look at him. He smiled softly at her, leaning his forehead against hers. She could feel his heart beating peacefully against her hand.
“Damn. I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed,” he said quietly.
“Neither can I.” Gemma clasped her fingers behind Damian’s neck. His strong grip was somehow also gentle around her waist as they swayed to the silence. She closed her eyes, remembering prom night – the night Damian told her he had chosen to go to UCLA. They were dancing to Tyler’s song. It was the one he had written about his first encounter with her at her Los Angeles concert, wondering if their paths would ever cross again. Back then, in that moment, she had wondered how she would live without Damian in her life. Gemma couldn’t believe how much their lives had changed in the years since that day. Both Tyler and Damian were in her life once again and she was living in the city that she had once only known as the place where the mishap with Tyler had happened.
“What’s going on in here?”
The voice that interrupted them belonged to Tyler. Damian and Gemma both snapped their heads towards the entrance of the room, dropping their hands from each other’s bodies.
Gemma blinked. “What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t at my place and I got worried so I came here.”
“Tyler, I’m fine,” Gemma said, walking towards him. To her surprise, Tyler grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her. He looked over her to glare at Damian.
“What are you trying here?” he demanded.
Damian released a breath, his hands in his pockets. “Easy, Tyler. There’s nothing going on.”
“Really?” Tyler seethed, approaching Damian with a surprisingly threatening demeanor. “Then what are you doing in L.A. with your hands all over my girlfriend?”
“It’s not what it looks like, Tyler,” Gemma said, grabbing Tyler’s hands with her own. She couldn’t believe that she actually had to speak those clichéd words. “Really. I just missed home all of a sudden and Damian was the closest thing I had to it.”
“So
you
called him here?” he turned to her, the rage in his eyes now tinged with hurt. He averted his gaze only to catch sight of the painting and photograph of Lucas on the ground. He laughed bitterly. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Gemma.”
“Tyler, there is nothing going on here, you have to believe me,” Gemma pleaded. Tyler turned his focus once again on Damian.
“Get out of here,” he said. “Get the hell out!” He started towards him again, but Gemma restrained him. Damian only turned to Gemma, lifting his eyebrows.
“Everything will be fine. We’ll talk more later,” she said in her most reassuring tone. She wanted to thank him more for all he had done for her, for flying over on a moment’s notice, but she could only imagine how Tyler would perceive it. Damian simply nodded and left without another word. Gemma closed the door, collapsing into it. She leaned her forehead against the cold, heavy wood and sighed, bracing herself for Tyler’s words.
“Are you trying to humiliate me? Parading your ex-boyfriends around in this house when you told me you were too scared to be here? What, am I not enough for you?” Tyler asked. “Do you not feel safe enough around me?” She couldn’t bear to look at him but she could hear the despair in his voice.
“You know I would never do any of those things,” Gemma whispered. She felt ashamed though she couldn’t pinpoint why.
“Actually, I don’t know,” Tyler said. “When you and I first started seeing each other, you were still dating Lucas.”
Gemma’s jaw dropped and she turned to face him. Her face burned with more anger than embarrassment. “That was
not
what that was, Tyler. I know how it came off and I know I did something wrong but it’s not like that
at all
. Don’t you think I would’ve learned from all my stupid mistakes?”
“What would you think if you walked into my house and saw me holding Desiree like that?” Tyler demanded. “How would that make you feel, Gemma?” His words forced her to simply stand, speechless and unmoving. Her lips parted to respond but she couldn’t. She had never thought of it in such a way.
“Damian’s my best friend,” Gemma said. “That’s all. He loves Nicki. I love you. But he’s my friend and always will be.”
“I’m your friend too, Gemma,” Tyler whispered, reaching for her. He pulled her into his embrace, kissing her lips. “Why won’t you let me into your life more? All I ever wanted was to know what you looked like without the disguises, to know your real self. But since we’ve been together, I’ve hardly seen her.”
“It’s not just you, Tyler. I’ve hardly seen her either,” Gemma said, sadly. “That’s why I called Damian, because I just needed something to help me remember who I was before Queen Bee took over my life.”
“So just because I know you’re Gemma Hunter doesn’t mean I’ve ever been a part of Gemma Hunter’s life?”
“I don’t know that Gemma Hunter really exists anymore.”
“Yet you spend every waking moment keeping someone who doesn’t really exist anymore a secret from the world?”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Would you keep doing this if it weren’t for that girl?”
“I don’t know, Tyler. I don’t know anything anymore,” she laughed scornfully
“Gemma, let’s get out of here.”
“What do you mean?”
“What we need is a vacation. Together,” Tyler said, with certainty. “With no one else and nothing else.”
~
The same Gulfstream G450 that had taken Gemma and Tyler to Turks and Caicos flew them to Florence, Italy. Tyler had cleared his entire schedule and canceled his sessions in the recording studio for the sole purpose of their alone time. He didn’t seem to care about the likely delay of his upcoming album – not when Gemma looked so happy. Upon boarding, she plopped down in the exact seat that she had taken when flying in the pristine jet the year before. Before she could ask Tyler if he remembered, he grinned, “Same spot, huh?”
“Mm-hm!” Gemma nodded. Their vacation last year had been fun and romantic, but the trouble then was that they weren’t a couple. Now that they were, Gemma was determined to recreate the same experience for Florence. Tyler was even wearing a similar white button up and the same Tom Ford aviators that made her swoon. She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder when he sat down next to her. “I needed this,” she murmured.
Tyler nodded. “It’ll be like last year,” he said.
“Right,” Gemma laughed. Her situation was tumultuous then too, but if she could exchange her current predicament for last year’s simple criticism of her constant partying, she would do so in a heartbeat. It was such a light issue in comparison. She could hardly believe how little she really knew about celebrity then, about all its accompanying downfalls. Being viewed as a party girl was most certainly not the lowest that it could get. As she reminisced, she realized that she would simply have to accept that she could never again know what to expect in her crazy life.
~
Their country villa was located on the outskirts of Florence in the Chianti Hills. It sat in the center of a sprawling agricultural estate, boasting vast fields of perfectly lined plants and trees. A stone loggia surrounded the front of the home, which Gemma delighted in walking through. Though what she loved best was the quiet and privacy provided by the surrounding woods, including breathtaking lavender fields and olive groves.
Upon entering, Gemma saw the charming sitting room equipped with an antique fireplace of large stone. She heard Tyler sigh. “What?” she asked. He smiled.
“Just taking it in,” he answered her simply, falling back onto a couch and closing his eyes. “It would be hard not to relax here.” Gemma nodded in agreement. It was beautiful, simple and just what she needed for the next week with Tyler.
On the first full day, they rode their bikes into the town of Malmantile for groceries. Tyler boiled the fresh gnocchi that they purchased and sliced the fresh
burrata
and bread. They toasted their wine glasses on the balcony, enjoying their meal as they gazed over the rolling hills. It felt as if the chaos at home couldn’t possibly exist in the same world as such a peaceful scene.
Within a few days, Gemma found herself walking around the house without her disguise. It felt like an utter shame to be relaxing somewhere so tranquil with makeup, jewels and feathers weighing down on her face. Only when they headed out into town did she bother to cover up.
“Getting lax are we, Hunter?” Tyler grinned as he joined her on the lawn. She lay on the soft grass, gazing into the sky. The usual Chanel shades served as her sole disguise.
“Getting
re
laxed,” Gemma said sleepily.
“You sure you’re not just keeping an eye out for helicopters?” Tyler teased.
“Yes. They can’t see us under all these trees anyway,” Gemma said, tugging on Tyler’s sleeve so he would lie next to her. Once he did, she rolled onto her side and hugged his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. Tyler smiled, one arm behind his head and the other hugging Gemma closer. They lay so silent that for awhile, Gemma was sure Tyler had fallen asleep.
But suddenly, he spoke. “How long do you think you’ll be doing this?”
“Laying here?” Gemma asked. She felt him shaking his head.
“The disguises. Queen Bee. Did you ever think about how long you wanted to do this for?”
Gemma gazed up at him, frowning in the direct sunlight. “I never thought about it, no,” she answered. “I didn’t even grow up thinking I would become a singer. I thought I was going to be a veterinarian.”