No Ordinary Bloke (18 page)

I spun her around and took her properly in my arms. She looked at me fearfully, and just in case she thought she was in physical danger, I touched my nose to hers. “Allison,” I whispered. “How can you think that about me? Don’t you know by now? With you…my aim is true.”

Her forehead crumpled like she was distraught. “That’s a line from a song.”

“It is. Alison by Elvis Costello.”

“That’s it.” She winced and was quiet until she whispered, “David, we can’t be friends. It’s confusing me.”

“Confusing?” Damn it. She was confused because I wasn’t being fucking clear. I took a deep breath and declared, “I’m sorry if I’ve confused you. I’m a stupid twat sometimes. Yes, I said I want to be your friend. Yes, I’ve made about a million sex jokes at your expense. But you have to know by now how much I feel for you. How much I care about you—”

“Please, don’t say it,” she whimpered. She then held up her hands and pushed me gently away. “Don’t say it.”

I tilted my head in confusion. “What? Why ever not?” Now that I finally had opened up I couldn’t believe she wanted to shut down the conversation.

Her hand covered her eyes, and she said, “Because…”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a park bench not far away, but far enough to be out of earshot. “Come on. Let’s finally fucking talk about this. Let’s get it out there.”

I dragged her over to the side, but she didn’t appear willing. After I sat down, I even had to tug her hand to join me on the bench. When she finally sat down, I took one of her hands in both of mine. “Now, talk to me.”

After taking a deep breath, she still looked like she was going to cry as she spoke. “I have a boyfriend, who is good to me and who trusts me enough to be with you. I love him, and he loves me. I want to be faithful to him. Nothing physical has happened between you and me, but I feel that I’m being emotionally unfaithful to him.”

There was so much to tear apart in what she’d just said that I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself. Most importantly, I really didn’t like that she’d just declared her love for Trey. I tried to be measured as I asked, “Emotionally unfaithful? What does that mean?”

“It means that when we were just going out and doing goofy things like the zoo and shopping, all the flirting didn’t really matter.”

“
It didn’t really matter
?” She was in a serious state of denial if she thought that much flirting didn’t matter. If a girlfriend of mine spent that much time flirting with another bloke, I’d know I was in danger of losing her. “So when did things begin to matter?”

“When we spent that day in the pub in London. When we talked. Maybe before that. I don’t know…” Now the tears which she’d kept at bay began to spill over. “I never talk with anyone about it, even Trey, and then I talked with you.”

Taking her in my arms, I kissed the top of her head. “And I talked with you. That meant everything to me.”

She rested against my chest for a moment, making my heart swell again. It felt so good—like my stupid heart had a stiffy. I kissed her again and murmured, “My darling girl.”

“Oh, David,” she said, slowly pulling away. “Don’t say that. Please don’t.”

“Why not?” I said, caressing her cheek.

“Because saying it changes everything. I’ll have to tell Trey, and I don’t want to ruin what I have with him. I can’t be with you. I’m with someone right now, and he’s good to me.”

I didn’t want to get into a debate about Trey, so I made it about me. “But I would be better. I think you know that.”

“Really, David?” Her voice was annoyed, and she frowned. “Now is
not
the time for another joke about how great you are in bed.”

“I didn’t mean it like that at all.” For once, I really didn’t, but I was the boy who cried wolf at that point. “I meant that I would treat you better, and I would.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

“What? On what basis do you say that?”

“With all your girlfriends out there in the world, you’re really going to settle down with just one?”

“Yes, I am.” The stiffy in my heart was quickly deflating as the ire in my belly increased.

“Oh yeah? Like you’re just going to give up on Professor Art History or flight attendants or whoever it is you brought home last night.”

“I slept alone last night, as I have for weeks.” It was the perfect moment to bring up Trey fucking around. I’d wanted to win her fair and square, but it wasn’t like old Trey was being any more honorable than me. Under my breath, I said, “I wonder if Trey sleeps alone when he travels.”

“How dare you accuse him of that? On what basis, can you say such a thing?”

Yes, I was a rat-bastard, but I was a loyal one. I couldn’t expose Angus as my source. His job was at stake, and now that I had Allison glaring at me I considered the evidence Angus had given me. It was all circumstantial. “I just know,” I sputtered. “I can tell.”

“Because you’re such an expert on screwing around?”

I practically growled at her. “Call it intuition.”

By then her whole face turned red, absorbing most of her freckles into her rage. She snapped her head around, and I wondered how the fuck our lovely afternoon had turned into such an abject disaster. I grasped for a way to rescue it, but soon she turned back to me. She seemed leery, but calmer. “David, I really care for you. I do, and I’ll admit that I’m very attracted to you. I flirted with you too much because of all that. And I know you do care for me. That’s why I’m going to forgive you for what you’ve said about Trey. I know you’re just saying it because you’re hurt and a little desperate.”

“But Allison, I—”

“No. Let’s leave it at that.” She placed a finger on my lips to shut me up, but quickly removed it. Then she leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’ve said it before, and I mean it. You’re a really great guy. I’m not going to forget you.”

My brain was still processing what she said when she stood up and ran over to her bike. She put on her backpack and helmet, and I yelled, “Allison. Come back here.”

She shook her head grimly, waved, and biked faster than I ever imagined she could.

W
hat did I say at the beginning of this story about the fates being on my side, but the odds being against me? It was something along those lines. At the time that Allison left me on that park bench, I felt like a pathetic fool. As an investment banker, I dealt in hard numbers all day, balancing risk and reward and evaluating past and potential returns. I should’ve known that this would happen to me.

Why would a level-headed woman ever dump a catch like Trey for a guy like me? And I’d done myself no favors by fucking around and bragging about it all. Even if I knew in my soul that Trey was no different than me, it was of no matter. To the rest of the world, I was just a cockney bloke with more charm than my own good. A woman like Allison knew better than to get tangled up in me. When Allison pedaled away from me it seemed that I’d never get another chance. The fates had moved on, and I was left down on my luck.

I flew a dodgy American airline back to London that night. I didn’t want to run into someone I knew on Virgin or British Airways and have to make small talk with them. Worse yet, they might see me cry. Yes, I was in danger of crying in public like a hurt schoolboy. I was gutted. While I’d held it all in best I could that afternoon, I wasn’t sure what might happen when I was in the semi-privacy of a first class seat.

Luckily, a numbness took over me and preserved my sanity in public until I arrived back in my flat the next day. It was then I could finally release the poison that had welled up inside of me. I cried alone on my sofa, the whole time swearing to myself I’d never cry over a woman again. Of course, there’d never be another Allison, so that seemed like an easy deal to make with myself.

The rest of the weekend, I moped around my flat, ordering in food and watching round the clock football. On Sunday night, I forced myself to open my laptop to type one important email to Declan:

I’m handing the Greystone deal to you. Too much on my plate right now.

Declan would be thrilled, Trey would no doubt be pleased I was out of the picture, and I was just thankful to be one step further removed from Allison. She was right. My father had taught me a few things. One of his sayings kept repeating itself to me. It was the one I’d always found so twisted given what he did to Mum and me. After my time with Allison, though, I thought it was appropriate. “Don’t look back. You’ll just bump into some rubbish you meant to leave behind.”

A few weeks later, I was buried at work, almost literally with corporate finance documents piled high on my desk and stacked like an obstacle course on my office floor. I was stuck across the room from my phone when Elinor’s voice came over my speakerphone. “David, are you free?”

I looked around at the papers in my way. “Not really. What’s going on?”

“It’s Sylvia Kincaid. She rang me because you haven’t returned her calls.”

Elinor adored Adam. He knew just how to charm her. He was a self-effacing aristocrat, all while being a brilliant, handsome son-of-a-bitch. Plus, he had a wife he was devoted to and a beautiful daughter. He was fucking Prince William in Elinor’s mind.

And for as much as Elinor loved Adam, she despised his sister, Sylvia. The Kincaid humble gene clearly didn’t manifest itself in female Kincaids. The fact Elinor even said Sylvia’s name was a big deal. Usually, Elinor would refer to her as “your cousin” or if Sylvia had been particularly rude, Elinor would call her “that cousin of yours.”

I envisioned a grilling at the hands of the world’s nosiest, yet simultaneously self-centered woman. I groaned. “Can you tell her—”

“I’ll put her through now,” said Elinor, clearly happy to be done with her.

I scrambled to my desk, groping for the phone as it began to ring. I couldn’t just hit the speakerphone button because you never knew what Sylvia might say aloud. I put the phone to my ear. “Hello, Sylvia.”

“How are you?” Not that she cared for an answer when she immediately said, “I heard you got dumped.”

“Is that how Adam fucking described it?” My blood began to boil.

“Of course not. He told me almost nothing. You two have that masculine solidarity that’s always annoyed me. I decided to talk with you directly.”

“I did
not
get dumped.”

“That’s not what it sounds like to me. I’m in London for the next few days. You should invite me over for dinner, and I’ll cook for you.”