No One's Bride (Escape to the West Book 1) (17 page)

She felt Adam’s arm raise and lower against hers in a shrug.

“The church has people who visit the ones who can’t come into town when they can, but I think they like the regularity of me going. My uncle did the same thing when he was postmaster. When he nominated me to replace him after he got sick, he told me one of the reasons he wanted me to take over was because he knew I’d continue to come out here every couple of weeks. Not that I mind you thinking it’s completely altruistic on my part, but I admit I enjoy doing it. And Stride would never forgive me if I stopped.”

Amy watched the horse’s head bobbing ahead of them, his sleek mane ruffling gently in the breeze. “He certainly seems to enjoy the attention. And the treats.”

Adam glanced at her then back at the dirt track they were following. “I really liked having you along. Maybe we could work something out that you could come with me every time. If you’d like to.”

Smiling, she kept her eyes ahead. “I’d like that very much.”

Ten minutes later they arrived at the spot where they’d had their first picnic, the Sunday afternoon after Amy arrived in Green Hill Creek. It was just as beautiful as she remembered and while Adam unhitched Stride from the buggy she stood staring out over the lake, breathing in the warm spring air and absorbing the peace surrounding her.

I want to stay here
, she thought.
I want to stay in this beautiful place with this wonderful man for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be anywhere else.

It wasn’t the first time she’d considered what it would be like to stay, but it was the first time she’d truly admitted to herself that it was what she wanted more than anything.

She didn’t know when it had happened, but sometime in the past two weeks her fear of the uncertainty of relying on other people had faded, and what happened to her yesterday had been the final proof she needed. Not only had she had the strength to fight off her attacker, but Adam and George had steadfastly been there for her. She knew now that being alone was no longer what she wanted. Staying here, with Adam, was.

But would he want her in return?

Stride sauntered past her and bent his head to the lake’s clear water. She turned from the tranquil scene and wandered over to help Adam with the picnic.

“Do you think that maybe next time we come here we could bring Clem?” she said as they worked. “I’d like her to see the world outside the livery and paddock and I’m sure she’d love it here.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” he said, taking the last of the food packages from the basket and setting it aside. “And I’m sure Stride would love to have his girl along. He might not even mind sharing the food.”

After they’d finished eating, Adam stretched out on his side, his head propped up on one elbow as he gazed out at the lake. Amy pulled her legs up beneath her skirt and wrapped her arms around them, studying him surreptitiously. He seemed relaxed, but not sleepy. If she was going to do this, now was as good a time as she was likely to find.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “My father died when I was less than a year old. It was an accident in the factory where he worked. My mother told me he was a good man and loved us very much, but I never knew him.”

She kept her eyes on the lake, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Adam slowly sit up, his gaze fixed on her.

“My mother got ill when I was six and she died too,” she continued, before she lost her nerve. “Since I was all alone and had no relatives, I was sent to an orphanage. It was a place no child should ever have to go. We were made to work, had no schooling, got sold out to people who only wanted free labour. I’ve heard there are good orphanages, but the Mayfield Home for Destitute Children wasn’t one of them. When I was ten, a couple took me to cook and clean for them. I hated it. After I’d run away three times they sent me back to the orphanage so I ran away from there too and spent a few years on the streets. It was dangerous and hard and sometimes I was so cold and hungry I thought I would die, but I learned how to survive. You’d be surprised how many children there are on the streets of New York with no one to look after them but each other. A lot of the time I was happier out there than I ever was in the orphanage.”

She sighed, dropping her eyes to the grass at her feet and wondering what happened to the friends she’d made back then, children like her with only each other.

“But I was caught and sent back when I was twelve. Then when I was fourteen I was taken in by a rich couple, the Courtneys. They lived in a big, grand mansion and I thought I’d struck gold. It was hard work, but I had a warm bed and regular meals and Mr Courtney told me I was getting paid, that it was all being put into a bank for me and when I was twenty-one I could do what I wanted with it. I was stupid enough to believe him.” She shook her head at her naivety, even at that young age. “Then when I was sixteen, he started taking an interest in me.”

She heard Adam draw in a sharp breath but she didn’t look away from the grass.

“I learned to stay away from him, make sure I was around other people all the time, and I slept in a room with four other girls so I was safe then. I was just biding my time until I could get my money and leave. I had my dream of going to San Francisco, I just had to wait until I was twenty-one and would have the money to get there.”

She paused, trying to find strength she couldn’t feel. Adam stayed silent. She wanted to look at him, see what he was thinking, but her gaze remained locked on the grass in front of her. Her hands fisted around the material of her skirt.

“On my twenty-first birthday I went to see Mr Courtney, to ask him for my money. He said with all my bed and board none of my wages were left, but that I could have something if I...” She wiped one hand across her suddenly burning eyes and swallowed. “If I went to his bed every day for two years. When I told him I wouldn’t, he tried to force himself on me. I’d been stupid, going to him alone, but I was so eager to get my money and start my plans. Mr Rand, the butler, came at that moment and I escaped, but from then on the way Mr Courtney looked at me scared me even more. I knew he was just waiting for his opportunity. I had to get far away from him, but I had no way to get out of the city and no way to get employment anywhere else.

“Then I found the special insert in the newspaper that had your advertisement in it.”

She stopped and drew in a shuddering breath. She hadn’t told anyone her whole story before, not even Katherine. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her past, but growing up in an orphanage and on the streets didn’t exactly make her a lady. And Mr Courtney’s inappropriate attentions had made her feel tainted, even though she’d done nothing to encourage him. Could Adam want someone like her now he knew the truth?

He shuffled forward until he was sitting at her side. She continued to stare at the ground in front of her, unable to look at him.

“Amy,” he whispered, touching her arm.

She slowly raised her eyes to his and in that moment she knew all the dreams she’d had of San Francisco no longer meant anything, and she didn’t mourn them at all. The only future she dreamed of now was with Adam, the man she’d fallen in love with.

He took her hands, wrapping them in his own. “You are safe with me,” he said, an intensity to his voice. “I will never let anyone hurt you again. And you will always have a home with me, for as long as you want it.”

They stared at each other, their faces only inches apart. Adam’s gaze flicked to her lips and back up again. Her eyes went to his mouth and saw his neck move as he swallowed. His head tilted towards her.

Then he stopped, his eyes closed, and he let out a long breath. Leaning forward, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you for telling me,” he murmured, his breath brushing across her skin. “Your trust means a lot.”

To her disappointment he sat back and let go of her hands. For a moment she’d thought he was going to kiss her, and not just on the forehead.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” he said.

Her heart rate picked up at his serious expression, and not in the good way it had when his lips made contact with her skin.

“I was hoping I’d never have to tell you this, that Vernon would change his mind, but you’ve been honest with me and I feel like I owe you the same.” He breathed out a long sigh. “I didn’t take today off from the bank. Yesterday was my last day working there. I lost my job.”

Amy gasped, her eyes widening. “No! Why?” And then realisation drew an icy finger down her spine. “Was it because of me? Did he fire you because of me?”

He took her hands again, holding them tight. “No, he fired me because all he cares about is money and wouldn’t know compassion if it bit him on the backside. The Monday after you arrived he called me into his office and told me if you didn’t move out I would no longer have a job there. But it’s all right.”

How could he be so calm about this? She pulled her hands from his grasp so she could wave them about to emphasize her words. “But, but, I could have moved out. I could have gone to the boarding house. I can still go to the boarding house. I can go to Mr Vernon and explain and tell him I’m moving out and get him to give you your job back and why are you smiling?”

He looked as though he was trying not to laugh. “Because I’ve never been surer that I did the right thing than I am right now. Vernon can keep his job. The last thing I want is for you to move out. Besides, God brought you to me, remember? If it’s a choice between obeying my Creator and Saviour and obeying my boss, God gets my vote every time.”

“But...” She’d cost him his job. How could that not bother him? And then a memory came back to her. “I never used to get to see the newspaper.”

He frowned, confused. “You... what?”

“I never ever got to see the newspaper, but that day the housekeeper, who usually delivered it to Mrs Courtney, had to deal with an emergency in one of the bedrooms when a bird got inside, and she gave it to me to take. That insert fell out and when I saw what it was I kept it.” At the time she’d thought of it as luck, but could it all have been the Lord’s doing to bring her here?

Adam was grinning from ear to ear. “Sounds like a miracle to me. That proves it. I’m not worried and you shouldn’t be either.”

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Maybe you need to drop your Bible for confirmation.”

“Well, funny you should say that, but the day after Mr Vernon gave me his ultimatum, I was in the church...”

Adam lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t see the ceiling in the dark, but he stared anyway.

Today had been one of the best days of his life, although he’d had at least three of those since Amy arrived. But today... today had been incredible. Spending the whole day in her company, going on his rounds, which were so much more fun to do with her along. The way she’d opened up to him and told him her story. It had been hard to hear how much she’d been through, but that she trusted him enough to share her life with him gave him hope that she would stay if he asked her.

And that was why he was staring at the ceiling. He hadn’t asked her.

All during their time at the lake, for the hours they’d talked and relaxed and gone for a stroll, and when Amy nodded off on the blanket and Adam gazed at her face for the entire half hour she slept, he’d thought about asking her. Then as they rode home with the sun sinking in the sky, painting the clouds purple and red and lighting up Amy’s beautiful face, he’d thought about asking her. As they made supper, naturally falling into the comfortable rhythm they’d found together after two weeks of living under the same roof, he’d thought about asking her. And as they relaxed on the settee after the meal, reading, he’d barely got through two pages in an hour because he couldn’t stop thinking about asking her.

But in all that time, he didn’t
once
actually ask her to stay. He didn’t even hint at it, apart from mentioning her coming with him on his postal rounds in the future. And he suspected that may have been too subtle for her to get his entire meaning, which had been
please, please, please stay with me for the rest of my life and I love you and marry me and have my children and grow old with me and never, ever leave
.

He wanted to bang his head against a wall.

The problem was, in addition to thinking about asking her to stay he had also been obsessively considering all the ways it could go wrong. Chief amongst those was she didn’t feel the same way about him as he felt about her and that declaring his undying love would scare her away.

But then again, if he didn’t ask her she’d leave eventually anyway.

He scrubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to erase his nervous indecision. Why was being in love so hard? He lowered his eyes to the wall that separated his bedroom from hers. Maybe he should just get up, march in there, and tell her he loved her with all his heart.

It was possibly the worst idea he’d ever had, but that was where he was right now. Instead of making that mistake, he rolled over and groaned into his pillow, pounding his fist into it for extra emphasis. This was ridiculous. He should just ask her and deal with the consequences afterwards.

But tomorrow. He’d ask her tomorrow.

Not tomorrow morning though, because Amy was insisting on returning to work and he didn’t want any discussion that would ensue to feel rushed. Or, if he was very lucky, any kissing that would ensue.

But most definitely tomorrow afternoon, after she got home. That’s when he’d ask her to stay.

Undoubtedly then.