No Mercy (35 page)

B
ud spoke again as Deborah grabbed his hand. “I thought I lost you.”

Still struggling with his speech, he spoke. “Never,” he said. “Unless I don't get any damn gummy bears.” She laughed again as she put his hand to her face. “Wait,” Bud said. “If I've been here for two weeks, what happened with my move? What happened to my homes to leave and close on?”

Deborah sat down next to him. “Don't worry,” she replied. “You are moved out of one and now a resident of the Henry Hallock house on South Street.”

“But how?” he asked. “The money? The closing?”

Deborah smiled as she answered, “I took care of everything. The transactions were done through my accounts, but since you were not there I worked it out with the Marchese family for you to rent the house for a year. To show faith I gave them six months' rent in advance. They were very understanding, and when and if you are ready to buy, they will discuss it with you. Everything is in your name. You can pay me back when you are out of here.” Bud looked at her in amazement over her trust in him.

“What about my things?” Those four words took him almost a minute to say, but Deborah was patient.

“My dad hired movers to take care of everything,” she said, “including what needed to be cleaned, Mr. Johnson. You are such a man,” she said with a smile. Her expression changed and she got serious. “But a sweet, wonderful man. Listen,” she said, “you're only allowed one visitor after 6:00 pm the next few days, and I hope you don't mind but I gave them a name I think will make you happy.”

“It's not you?” he asked.

“No,” she answered. “You have me all day,” she said with a laugh.

“OK,” he said, “it's Paul.”

“No,” she answered. “I think you will be happy and surprised. Just be patient.”

Bud was a little confused but he decided to wait it out. Deborah said good night to him with a kiss on the lips. “Welcome back.” He looked at her and thanked her.

Deborah got in the car and drove to Rachelle's house on Prospect Street. She opened the door and found Rachelle not showered, her hair a mess, and her face red from crying most of the day. She held Rachelle and just kept saying, “Get it out of your system, I'm here for you.”

It was another thirty minutes before Deborah let go of her, saying, “Come on, you are going in the shower.” Deborah helped her undress and stayed by her as she showered to wash all her emotions away. Deborah even helped dry her off, combed her hair, and made her put on her Benjamin Franklin lounge pants and a T-shirt and then brought her to the kitchen to make her a cup of tea. They sat for the next couple hours as Rachelle vented about what happened to her relationship with Paul. The shower, tea, and Deborah were just what Rachelle needed to feel a little better. Deborah listened as Rachelle told her why Paul wanted to split.

Deborah touched her wrist and spoke. “Do you love him, Rachelle, or are you in love with him?”

Rachelle looked at her. “Both,” she said, “but I know it's over. He can be so loving, so thoughtful, yet when I saw him shooting Robert in the mall over and over again, I was so frightened by what I saw in his eyes.”

Deborah touched Rachelle's chin to get her eyes focused back to her. “I had a conversation with Bud a few months ago and he told me there was no one more loyal than Paul. He said that Paul told him the most important people in his life were his father; you, Rachelle; Bud; and I don't know why, but me. So you need to consider that three of the four people he cared about most were in danger of being lost to him. Give him his time, Rachelle. I have a feeling.”

Rachelle smiled at Deborah.

“You are good for the soul, Deborah Lance.” She smiled gratefully as she continued to drink her tea.

It was now after 7:00 pm and Bud was texting with Paul when Lindsey walked in. Bud almost dropped his phone but couldn't help but smile at the girl he thought he would never see again. She walked over to him, bent over, and hugged him and wouldn't let go.

“I'm so happy to see you, Lindsey. I would ask you how you have been but you would tell me everything that has happened in the past year and a half.”

She laughed and spoke. “No, I don't really do that anymore, but it was fun with you.” The detective was referring to Lindsey's desire to torture Bud as a twelve-year-old with her photographic memory and gifted hearing.

“How is school?” he asked.

“Good, thanks. I'm in college now and will graduate when I'm seventeen.”

Bud nodded but was not surprised. “And then what?” he asked.

“Well,” she answered, “let's just say you will be seeing a lot of me.”

“Umm,” Bud answered. Lindsey interrupted him and changed the subject.

They spoke about the past eighteen months and what she had done. He knew he would get caught up with her life because she remembered every single detail of her life. He used to joke with her about her memory and she would challenge him constantly.

She went from being annoying to someone he cared about very deeply. It was now close to 8:00 pm when Sharyn Wilkerson came into the room to bring Lindsey home. Bud acknowledged her with a thank-you for bringing Lindsey to see him.

“You're welcome,” she answered, “but it was difficult to keep her away.”

Lindsey hugged him good-bye and she got to the door, when Bud spoke again.

“Will I see you again, Lindsey?”

The young girl smiled. “Oh, yes, it is your destiny, Bud Johnson.”

Bud looked at her with his head cocked. “Are you messing with me again, girl?”

Lindsey's smiled disappeared as she answered, “You are a good cop, a good man, a good friend, and a good partner. You will know your destiny, Bud Johnson, as you continue to get closer to God.” She kissed her hand and blew hard to push it to him as she walked out the door.

He looked at the empty space in the doorway for at least a minute before he turned his head and noticed Deborah had left her Bible and her book
Intelligence for Your Life
. He picked up the John Tesh book and spoke to the Bible, “One step at a time,” and began to read. He was reading for over an hour when Detective Cronin walked in with O'Malley and Lynagh. Bud put the book down, thinking,
So much for the one-visitor rule
.

“I was wondering when you would be here. Deborah and Paul told me over the phone today you were alive.”

Cronin looked at Lynagh and O'Malley to give him privacy for a few minutes. He sat down in the chair and Bud listened while Cronin reviewed the case and why he disappeared by death during the investigation. He explained that Branca and Tangretti got away with the cash and Paul would be taking a couple weeks off for vacation and most likely an additional three weeks' leave of absence. As Bud was listening he began to text Rachelle, Deborah, and Paul. He wanted to see them in the morning. They were talking for over an hour when the nurse on duty told Cronin he had to leave or Nurse Lorin would skin her alive in the morning. Before he left he told Bud that Priority 1 would be working on other cases, including the undercover at the correctional facility.

“This is not like you, Boss,” Bud said. “Loose ends, and we move on.”

The detective lieutenant stood up to leave and spoke. “There won't be any loose ends, Bud. Get some rest. I'll see you in a couple of days.”

Bud nodded as O'Malley and Lynagh said quick hellos and good-byes before the nurse pushed them out.

P
aul arrived at Stony Brook Hospital to see Bud at 9:45 am. Bud waited patiently for his partner to bring up that he was leaving for a few weeks, but Paul never did. After about ten minutes of small talk Bud started the conversation.

“Cronin tells me you're taking time off.”

“Yes, I need to get away.”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I was waiting to be sure you were OK and out of the hospital.”

“What about Rachelle, how does she feel about it?”

“Bud, I've told Rachelle that we needed time and space from each other for a number of reasons.”

“Oh, I see, the girl risks her life to be with you, and you tell her good-bye.”

“It will never be good-bye with her, but I need to clear my head and I need her to be safe.”

“Sounds like bullshit to me.”

“I didn't come here to have you upset while you are in the hospital. You asked me to come.”

“Paul, you are one good cop, but you don't know a good thing when you have it.”

“I almost said the same thing to you a couple of months ago.”

“OK,” Bud replied, nodding his head, “you made your point, but you've almost lost her a few times in the past couple of years.”

“Because of me. Bud, my life is dangerous to her. If she was lost I would blame myself forever.”

“So,” Bud answered, “when it comes to Rachelle, you're a coward, is that what you are saying?”

Paul looked away, then back at this partner and best friend. “I guess I am.”

“Paul,” Bud replied, “if you need to go and get yourself together, then do it. But do me a favor. If you guys go your separate ways, then let it be. Don't keep anyone hanging. Let her move on with her life and really give her space.”

Paul nodded as they spoke police business and Cronin's latest maneuver on the case. It was another thirty minutes before Deborah came in, and while she gave Paul a kiss he could tell she was upset with him. He knew there was no doubt she had spoken to Rachelle. Paul gave Bud a handshake and a hug before leaving, allowing Deborah and him to talk about what was happening with their best friends. Deborah stayed with him for the day, and at 2:30 pm Rachelle walked in with a short haircut and a different look with her makeup.

Deborah gave her a puzzled look and Rachelle simply said, “A new start, a new look.”

Bud was afraid to comment other than to say, “You look beautiful no matter what you do.” She stayed for an hour until Bud was prepared for therapy and left with a smile and a hug.

As Bud left the room with Nurse Lorin, he looked back at Deborah and said, “You better keep a close eye on Rachelle, before she cuts off other things.”

Deborah just shook her head at him.

“You're still a clown, Bud Johnson.”

“See how I get when I don't have my gummy bears.”

She laughed as Nurse Lorin was yelling,

“Gummy bears my ass; let's get to work! Don't talk to me about gummy bears unless they are sitting at the bottom of a vodka martini.”

Deborah was shaking her head with a smile as she looked back at all the cards that were sent to Bud the past few weeks he was in the hospital. She sat down on his bed and started picking them up one at a time, reading them. They were from Paul and Rachelle together and then cards from each of them separately. There were cards from the precinct, the mayor of Port Jefferson Village, the Brookhaven town supervisor, Joey Z, and the Wilkerson Family. More cards from people throughout the community and the general public. Some were stacked laying flat. She noticed two cards on the other side of the bed that were separated from the rest. One of them was a card she had written to Bud. She read it again to herself.

Dear Bud,

When I think about our lives the past two years, I want you to know that you give purpose to me. A sense of security that only my father has been able to give to me. You “touch” me and have “touched” me. I will be forever grateful that God brought you into my life. With much love, Deborah.

She put the card down and picked up the other card that was standing next to her card. It read,

Dear Detective Bud Johnson,

You asked me when I was twelve years old what I thought about faith. I told you that faith gives you the strength to do more than you originally intended to do. It is also written that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). I have faith, Bud, that you will fulfill your destiny. You are in my prayers every night. With much love, Lindsey.

Deborah smiled as she placed the card down on the bedside table. She picked up her iPhone and called her father while she waited for Bud to return from his therapy.

Correctional Officer John Bay brought Madison down to the visitor center not knowing for sure who was waiting for her. Madison didn't recognize Rachelle at first with her short haircut and different-color lipstick, but she knew something was not right. She reached her hand over the top divider as always, so they could hold hands.

“What's wrong?” she asked Rachelle.

“We are no longer together,” she answered.

“What happened?” Madison asked.

Rachelle hesitated for a few seconds before giving Madison eye contact and speaking. “I'm not sure, really. I'm not sure at all. He claims my life will always be in danger if we are together, but I think it's an excuse to move on.” Madison let her speak until there was silence.

“I don't believe that, Rachelle. There is more to this than you being another notch on his bedpost.” Rachelle didn't answer her sister, so Madison spoke again. “Do you love him, Rachelle? Enough to spend forever with him?”

“I thought we would always be together, Maddie, but I guess . . .” Rachelle struggled to get the rest of the words out, “I was wrong.”

“Is that why the change in your hair and makeup?” Madison asked.

Rachelle laughed. “Well, I needed to feel good about myself.”

Rachelle stayed another forty minutes as she brought Madison up to date on Bud, Deborah, and the ever-mysterious Detective Cronin. Rachelle said her good-bye and drove to Z Pita restaurant for her shift for the evening, where Joey Z informed her that Paul had given him a month's rent in advance but that he would not be staying upstairs until further notice. Rachelle nodded, as Joey Z told her someone would have to check on the apartment every other day to be sure everything was OK. Again she nodded as she walked to the front. She did not want Joey Z to see the tears filling up in her eyes.

She went out to the sidewalk on Main Street, where she covered her mouth to keep the sounds of her crying to a minimum. Joey Z saw her through the window and almost went out to console her. He decided to let her have her privacy. She returned inside the restaurant within ten minutes, and because of the professional she was, no one could tell how much she was hurting inside.