No Mercy (17 page)

She takes Mama’s voodoo doll from my small shrine in the corner of her bedroom and kisses its head. “Please hug Mama for me when you see her. We all miss her presence very much.”

“I will,” I say, taking the doll. Ironically, those were the last words I spoke to Mama vowing to do the exact opposite of my mother’s advice.

I wish I could relax and enjoy the party but nothing is ever that simple for me. I grab my note card with the protection incantation on it, my purse and jacket. “I love you mom. And try not to worry about me. You should know by now that the ancestors have my back.” I point to the family veve tattooed on my arm and wink at my mom in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“And you should know by now how the ancestors became ancestors.”

Well damn, if that’s not a morbid ass thought I don’t know what is. My mom’s usually the one cheering me up. She kisses me on the forehead and then steps into her bathroom to clean her face.

I check myself in the mirror one more time before heading out the door.  “I love you, mom. And don’t worry; I’ve got this.” With the spirited words tucked in my right pocket and Mama’s doll safely in my possession I think I’ll be good.

“You’re not as grown as you think you are, Jayd,” my mom says from the bathroom door. “Remember that.”

My cell buzzes with a call from Chase.

“Hey, I’m on my way now,” I say. I kiss my mom on the check and head for the front door.

“Change of plans, Jayd. Can you meet us at the party instead? I’ll text you the address.”

“Okay, it’s closer to my mom’s crib anyway.” And it’ll save me on gas.

“Bet. See you in a few.”

I close the door behind me and carefully jog down the stairs only to find Rah waiting at the bottom. This dude is relentless.

“I never you took you for much of a stalker, Rah,” I say, hot-tailing it down the driveway toward my mom’s ride. We haven’t spoken since he attempted to corner me at Mama’s house last weekend.

“I thought you might want this back,” Rah says, handing me the gold necklace and charm. My neck has felt slightly vacant since that day, but my eleke and veve are all I really need.

“I’m good,” I say, refusing his regifting.

“Jayd, would give a nigga a minute, please?” Rah pleads.

I roll my eyes and reluctantly turn around to face my former man, former friend, former everything. “What is it?”

“I wanted us to go the party tonight together.” Before I can ask how he knew I was going he answers. “Nigel told me he convinced you to come out for a well-deserved breather.”

“Rah, I’m meeting Chase and Nigel at the party. Thanks for the offer anyway.”

“Jayd, come on. Can’t we just forget about everything and enjoy each other’s company for one night? Please?” Rah takes a step closer and reaches out for my hand. I’m afraid that if I take it I’ll never let it go, and I’m not willing to go backwards. “Come on, Jayd. I already told Trish I was hanging with you tonight and she was cool with it.”

Something inside of me snaps at the mention of yet another fool in my life needing permission from some other chick to be with me. “Enough! Rah, I can’t take it anymore. You can have all the crazy broads and baby mamas in your life you want to. I’m out. And this time don’t send Nigel looking for me because it won’t matter. Nothing you say or do can make this right.

             
“But Jayd, you knew that me and Trish were dating,” Rah says, continuing to justify his ill behavior.

             
“Dated, Rah,” I say, correcting his bold lie. “I knew that you dated. Trish will always find a way to sneak back into your world; don’t you know that by now? She’s a manipulative little trick and that’s exactly what she’s doing, playing tricks on you.”

             
He looks at me like I’ve completely lost it but I know my guts telling me the truth, even if the vision hasn’t popped into my head yet. I’m so sick of sneaky rich bitches getting the last word.

             
“Jayd, just admit that you’re jealous,” Rah says, flattering himself.

             
“This is not the time for jokes, Rah,” I say, wiping the smug smile from his face. “She’s using her brother and Sandy’s spawn to get close to you again. And from where I’m standing it’s working.”

             
“Jayd, as you’ve reminded me constantly you’re not my girl, so what difference does it make who I see? A brotha can get lonely, too, know what I’m saying?”

             
“Yeah, I hear you loud and clear,” I say, stepping as close to Rah as I can without kissing him. “And let me make myself perfectly clear. It’s the heffa or me. You can’t have it both ways.”

             
“Jayd, you know I don’t do ultimatums, especially not from a girl who claims to only be my friend.”

             
Why am I giving him an ultimatum? Rah’s right: He’s not my man anymore. Maybe I’m taking all of my frustration out on him, but still he knows this isn’t the right thing to do.

             
“Fine. I’m chucking up the deuces for the last time. Do what you want, Rah. But don’t say I told you so when you find out the truth about your dark queen.”

             
“Jayd, don’t be that girl who throws a hissy fit because she can’t have it her way all the damned time,” Rah says to my back. “Lighten up.”

             
“I’m always that girl, Rah,” I say, facing him for the last time. “The girl who dudes can call and talk to about their other girls even though they just told me that they loved me a few weeks ago. The girl who always understands why fools do the stupid shit that they do. But no more. I’m done being the ride or die chick who you can tell any and everything to. I don’t want to keep any more of your secrets, Rah. Get a diary because I’m through being your paper.”

             
“Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic, Jayd? Trish is only Rahima’s godmother on paper until I gain custody of Rahima, damn.”

             
“Today it’s just for the hearing. Tomorrow you and Trish will be walking down the aisle and she’ll be knocked up. You never learn, Rah. You just don’t get it, do you?”

             
“I’m not going out like that, Jayd. I want my daughter to see what a normal family looks like. Me and Kamal didn’t have that and never will. But I can do that for my child.”

“I’m not saying that you can’t, Rah. But living a lie isn’t going to make anyone happy, least of all Rahima. Don’t you thin
k she can tell the difference between real love and temporary lust for show?”

“Call it whatever you like, Jayd. But I’m not going to be a father that plays disappearing acts with his family. It’s not happening. And if Sandy wants to marry Trish’s brother, I can’t do anything about that. But I’ll be damned if she takes my daughter with her.”

“Lance isn’t the problem, Rah. And Sandy will always be Rahima’s mother no matter who you end up with. Why does it have to be Trish?”

“Because she’s here, Jayd. She’s always been here. She never gets mad enough to run away like some people I know. She sticks around when the going gets shitty and I love that about her.
And besides, Rahima’s known her all of her life.”

“Exactly. You never gave me that chance. For whatever reason you think you have to hide important details of your life from me right down to having a baby with my former best friend.”

“Here we go again,” Rah says, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Am I supposed to forget how you and Sandy met in the first place, when you and I were still a couple?”

“You’ll never get tired of having that conversation, will you Jayd? You’re going to rub that screw up in my face for the rest of our lives. That’s what it would be like to be married to you, Jayd; a conversation on repeat because you never get over shit. People make mistakes, oh mighty one. People trip, fall and get back up but not with you around. You keep stomping a nigga down no matter how many times he tries to make amends.”

“That’s not true, Rah.” Or is it? He so
unds a lot like Jeremy, Nigel and Chase for that matter.

“Jayd, you need to look in the mirror and check yourself. Trish doesn’t give me any heat for being me a
nd that’s what I need up in my house and in my daughter’s life. Whoever’s going to be around her is going to have to love me as is. Period.” Rah tosses the necklace at me, turns around and walks away.

Well I guess he told me. I look at the heavy chain and cry for another broken friendship. I can’t blame it all on Esmeralda. Some shit is simply my fault and I have to accept my part in the couple formerly known as Jayd and Rah. We have both officially moved on without each other.

"Maybe you should look more closely at the map next time.”

-Emilio

Drama High, volume 10: Culture Clash

~14~

COLLEGE MATERIAL

When I arrive at the sorority house I notice it boasts the same letters that I had to endure during my debutante days. Of course Alpha Gamma Rho is hosting the party. And of course, we’re by the hood next to USC, not at UCLA. I thought we were meeting at a house on Fraternity Row in Westwood but apparently Chase had his information mixed up.

I take my spirit notebook out of the glove compartment and read over my notes for this evening’s festivities. I need to say the incantation three times in the room where everyone I want to protect is present. Hopefully I can make that happen. It’ll be hard to convince Nellie, Chase, Nigel and Mickey to come together for any reason. And if Rah decides to make an appearance I’ll have to hold my tongue and do the work. If he tries to step to me again I can cuss him out later.

“Hey beautiful,” Chase says, tapping on the passenger’s side window and scaring the hell out of me. Nigel’s behind him shaking his head at how silly our boy can be.

“Chase, what the hell!” I scream. “I know this ain’t your territory but you should know better than to walk up to somebody’s car like that. You can get shot for less.”

“What are you going to shoot me with, Jayd? Your journal?” Chase says, laughing. “Come on, girl. Let’s get our college groove on.”

I put the notebook up and join my friends for our grand entrance, even if the tension between them is thicker than the little girl’s hair I braided this afternoon. Mickey and Nellie are in the back of the long line moving toward the front door of the old house. They’re both standing with much attitude. I don’t know if their heat is toward each other or just for the boys. Either way they’re both emanating quite a bit of it in every direction. I better say this spell quickly before we end up destroying each other, much to Esmeralda’s satisfaction.

“What up, my peoples?” Chase says, attempting to break the ice.

Mickey and Nellie nod hello and continue their sulking.

“How you feeling, Nellie?” Nigel asks, concerned about our girl’s silence ever since David deserted her.

After her bullying Marcia my sympathy has nearly waned for her mean ass. David’s still wrong for whatever went down, but Nellie could push a monk’s buttons.

Chase looks bewildered by Nigel’s concern for his ex-girlfriend. Chase felt something was wrong with Nellie the other day but she blew him off, as usual.

“How’s my daughter?” Nigel asks Mickey, who promptly sucks her teeth.

“I don’t know,” Mickey says, shifting her weight from one high heel to the other. “Knocked any one up lately?”

“Not funny, Mickey,” Nigel says, balling his fists up by his side in frustration. “Not funny at all.”

Mickey rolls her hazel contacts at Nigel further fueling the flames. Chase and I look at each other and recognize that we’re the only members of our crew with any damned sense right now.

“How is Nickey, Mickey?” I ask, always concerned about my goddaughter’s well being. “I’ve been meaning to spend some time with her.”

Nigel hasn’t taken his eyes off of Mickey who seems unfazed by his anger.

“She’s just fine, at home with her daddy.” Mickey looks Nigel dead in the eye and plumps her cleavage to make sure it pops in all the right places. “Mama needed to get out for a change.”

“A change?” Nigel yells, ready to pounce. “That’s all her mama does is get out and all around.” He looks Mickey up and down, disgusted. “And who do you think you are dressing like that to a college party, Miley Cyrus? Go put some clothes on, girl.”

Several of the other people in line look at Nigel and await the next verbal blow.

Nellie tries to contain her laughter but a snicker escapes and pisses off her ride home.

“What the hell is so funny, Nellie?” Mickey says.

Nellie quickly checks herself. If she’d just buckle down and get a license she wouldn’t need to depend on rides from her friends, and then she could laugh whenever she wanted to.

If Rah’s coming he needs to hurry the hell up. I don’t know how much longer I can wait to throw these words of protection out. We’re not inside yet but I think it’ll still work as long as we’re all together. The way things are going down we might go our separate ways before we get through the door.