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T
he incessant beeping drew Gia out of a dreamless sleep. Struggling, she fought to open her eyes even though her lids didn't want to lift. The chemical tang of disinfectant accompanied by the steady rhythm that could only come from machines told her she was in a medical facility. Considering her lethargy and the wires streaming from every pulse point, she was undergoing some sort of treatment. Treatment for what? Squinting, she looked around the room, checking for a humanoid figure to explain what the hell was wrong with her. The blurry shape mere feet away made draw back. “Zan?”
“It's okay, baby.” The alto was much too soft to be her space pirate.
Only one woman alive called her baby. “Mom?”
A warm hand grasped her cold one. “Would you like a drink of water?”
Her aches and pains demanded a shot of top-shelf booze, but beggars couldn't be choosers. “Sure.”
A straw bumped against her lips and she sucked it in, greedily. The water temperature was tepid at best but helped soothe her parched throat. After drinking her fill, she let the straw go. “What am I doing in the hospital?”
“You were cut with a poisoned blade. The med techs are purifying your blood outside your body. If you hadn't been so close to a military facility you would have died.” Her mother sniffled.
The last few moments before the oblivion of sleep came roaring back. Xander taking her hostage in the brothel, Zan shooting his father with an energy pistol. “Do you know what happened to the man who brought me in?”
“Commander Slone?”
“No.” Holding a conversation flat on her back in a hospital bed was extremely frustrating, especially with her vision so wonky.
“Stop!” Her mother put a hand flat on her chest. “You need to be still and let the filters do their work. The doctor will come in and sedate you if you struggle.”
The effort had gotten her nowhere and she was damn near exhausted. “Okay. I'll behave.”
Her mother lifted her hand and ran it through Gia's hair. “I know I'm the last person you probably want to see, but I had to come.”
Gia wasn't ready to admit she'd been thinking about making peace with her mother for a long time. Instead she just asked, “Why?”
“You're my child, Gia. If you ever have a daughter you'll understand the need to protect your own, to be by her side no matter how long since you last spoke to one another.”
The old resentment flared. “Why bother to protect me now, when you didn't then?”
She expected more of the same bullshit excuses. Gia had heard them all.
How was I supposed to know? I was working twelve-hour shifts and raising a daughter. He was my boyfriend and he told me you were jealous of the time I spent with him. I thought you were trying to punish me.
Instead she stayed quiet.
“He's dead, right? You sent me that article about the fire in his building.”
“Yes. I threw him out soon after you left.”
“Why? You told me you needed him.”
Her mother sucked in a shocked breath. “I couldn't stay with a man who'd molested my sixteen-year-old daughter.”
Dizzy from the blood-recirculating process, Gia couldn't absorb what her mother was telling her. “So you believed me?”
“Not right away. When you first left I was sure it was a fit of pique. You were a drama queen and I figured you were upset I didn't toss him out. I thought you were trying to manipulate me. He even told me you were. And I wanted to believe him. He was there and I was all alone. You don't know what it's like to be so alone.”
“Save it,” Gia muttered. She'd heard this song before and didn't want the pitiful tune stuck in her head.
Her mother took her hand and squeezed. “But then you didn't come back. And I knew it wasn't some kind of power struggle, because you hadn't contacted me, didn't make any demands. I'm sorry, baby. Sorry I was so selfish and stupid and blind. Sorry you got hurt because I missed your father so much that I brought that monster into our lives.”
Something inside Gia's chest loosened. This was new, her mother taking responsibility for her own actions, apologizing for not believing her. She opened her mouth but didn't know what to say
. It's okay
would be a lie,
I forgive you
a little too much, too soon. But she needed to say something. Because after witnessing what it was like for Zan to have a real demon as a parent she had room in her heart for the woman who had given birth to her.
Clearing her throat. “I've missed you, Mom.”
“Oh, baby, I've missed you so much.” Something wet fell on her cheek, and for a moment she feared one of the recirculating tubes had ruptured. But then her mother sniffled and she realized those were tears.
Completely worn out, Gia drifted back to sleep. When she woke the next time her vision had cleared and the tubes had been removed. Her mother was nowhere in sight, but Duffy sat beside her. A worried frown marred his handsome face and his focus was far off, but he smiled when he noticed her eyes on him.
“Where is he?” she croaked.
“Getting poked and prodded by the Illustra people. They're doing some tests afore he takes them to the Infinity Pool.”
Her heart sank. “He's really gonna go through with it?”
“He ain't got a choice, Gia. Cap'n gave him his word, and if he don't fulfill his contract they'll rescind the pardons for you, Gen, and Rhys. He's doing it to make sure you're safe.”
“Duffy, I almost died fighting one immortal tyrant. What's going to happen when we create three more? We already know what kind of people they are. They hire assassins and enslaved a whole race. Illustra is dangerous.”
“Trust him, Gia, Cap'n knows what he's about.”
“Like how he fooled you,” she snapped, then instantly regretted her words when Duffy winced.
“He told you about that? My dream?” Duffy didn't seem upset that she knew, merely startled.
“It wasn't a dream, Duffy, it was a holo program Zan bought to fool you. To keep you hanging on hoping for your happily ever after with him.”
Duffy nodded slowly. “Wouldn't be the first time the Cap'n's gone out of his way to trick me.”
“Doesn't that bother you, being manipulated by someone you care about?”
“It's not manipulation if you let it happen. Zan knows what I want, but he can't give it to me.”
Gia shook her head. “I don't accept that. You two could be together. He trusts you more than anyone.”
Duffy's eyes narrowed. “Why are you pushing me on him all of a sudden? I thought you and he were all set.”
Lightheaded, Gia shut her eyes.
“Don't think you're gonna get away from me so easily. Just 'cause you're recovering doesn't mean you get to back down. What's going on, Gia?”
Blowing out a breath she said, “He only wants me by default. A fluke of technology and
bam,
we're stuck together forever. He keeps running away and I keep chasing after him. I don't want to live that way, always so . . . so needy. It's pathetic.”
“You don't know the Cap'n well if you think he'd let anything tie him to someone he doesn't want to be tied to.”
Opening her eyes she looked up into his face. “Maybe if I wasn't in the way, you two would have a shot.”
“Forgive me for saying so, but we had plenty of chances, starting before you were born. If it didn't happen then, it's not gonna happen now.”
“But he's different now,” Gia argued. “He's ready.”
“If he's different it's 'cause he changed for you. Forgive me for saying as much, but I'm not content with anyone's sloppy seconds. I've waited long enough for a life partner who wants me for me, not because their first choice turned them down. I can wait a little longer.”
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The smile fell off of Zan's face as he picked up the thread of conversation in the hospital room. Was Gia really trying to pass him off to Duffy? So he was good enough to screw but commitment was not in the cards? And Duffy apparently didn't want him anymore either.
How the mighty had fallen.
His pride stung as he listened to them deciding his fate. After all they'd been through, all he'd been willing to sacrifice for her, Gia was just gonna quit on him?
To hell with that.
Rounding the corner he moved into the room. The guilty flush on Duffy's face told him that his first knew he'd heard everything. Gia looked small and frail in the hospital bed, and his temper cooled as he stared into her jade-green eyes, swimming with unshed tears. His heart softened because he knew she had to be in serious pain, either physical or emotional, before she cried.
“Give us a minute, Duff, and close the door behind you,” Zan said, not looking at him.
Zan waited for the hiss as the privacy screen engaged. Only a member of the medical staff could override it now.
He studied her pallor. “You look better than you did last night. Have a little more color. How're you feeling?”
She shrugged, looked away. “I've been better.”
Pulling up the chair Duffy had just vacated, he sat beside her bed. “So you're done with me? After all we've meant to each other, all that fighting, you can just walk away from me?”
She gnawed on her lip, and he waited for a response.
“Gia . . .”
She huffed out a breath. “I'm scared, okay?”
“Of me?”
Nodding, she turned to face him. “Yeah.”
“I'd never hurt you.”
“Not intentionally maybe. But look how you've treated Duffy all this time. I know you love him, yet he's been hurt over and over because you couldn't be honest with him. I don't want to live that way, Zan.”
He hated seeing her like this, so reluctant with the fight all but gone out of her. “Angel, listen to me. Duffy and I had a moment in time. He clung to it without any encouragement from me. I may be attracted to him, but that's all it is.”
Gia shook her head. “You two have history together. You can't just write that off like it doesn't mean anything.”
Zan leaned in closer. “You know what I think? That you're using Duffy as an excuse. The only one putting him in between us is you. I wouldn't lie to you about this, and I overheard Duffy telling you the way it is. I know you're scared, Gia, but I thought after everything you would have a little more faith in me.”
She didn't say anything, and he saw all of her emotions telegraphed on her expressive face. The anxiety, the guilt, and the shadow of hope.
Pressing his advantage he leaned in and brushed her lips with his. “Neither of us was looking for anything more than a one-night stand. But angel, I'm not sorry I got to know you. You challenge me, stand up to me, and force me to look at all sides of the situation. I'm better with you than I ever thought I could be. Gia, you take my breath away.”
She opened her mouth but the door slid open and a nurse bustled in. “Visiting hours are over.”
He shot the nurse a quelling glance. “We're in the middle of a discussion.”
Her nose raised up into the air, clearly not intimidated. “You can finish it tomorrow. She needs her rest.”
“It's all right, Zan. I'm not going anywhere.”
He rose and bent over her, laying a kiss on her forehead. “We're not done yet, angel. As soon as the doctors discharge you I'm taking you back to my ship. I have some passengers in a hell of a hurry to get going.”
Her expression closed up. “Good night, then.”
Sighing, Zan left the room. Duffy was waiting for him in the visitor's area, and they fell into step together. Neither of them spoke as they exited the military compound and moved to the docking port where the living ship waited
“I can't lose her, Duff. It almost killed me when I realized she'd been poisoned.”
Duffy nodded. “I know. I ain't ever seen you so frantic.”
“It was like that almost the whole time on Hosta. Her in danger, me unable to do anything to save her. Most of the time she wouldn't let me. I kept remembering what happened to Isabella. It was sheer hell.”
Duffy considered his words. “If the two of you made it through that, I reckon you can overcome just about anything.”
Zan wasn't so sure. “She deserves better than me, and this life I've been leading. I ain't no prize, Duffy. I screwed her best friend, I screwed my best friend, and I only picked her up 'cause of that nifty little piece of technology.”
Duffy scowled at him. “I'm not sure I get why that made a difference. There're lots of different ways to prevent conception if that's what you're fearful of.”
Zan shook his head. “Come with me to my chambers. It's not a discussion I want anyone to overhear.”
Duffy looked surprised but followed Zan to his room.
Zan poured them both a glass of Risgale and swirled the blue liquid in his cup. Out the viewport he watched life whizz by on the moon colony. “I'm immortal because of the Infinity Pool. You know that much. What I never told you or anyone else is that as a side effect of that, my seed carries my memories. Gia's shield failed at a critical moment, and she's been seeing my memories ever since.”
Duffy drained his glass and whistled. “Damn, Cap'n, no wonder you're so intent on keeping her with you. She knows all your secrets.”
“Maybe at first that was the reason, but now I just want her. How do I make her see that?”
Duffy snorted. “You're asking me how to make someone love you back?”