No Limits (19 page)
Maybe she’d already done her stint in purgatory?
Zan lifted himself off her. “Are you all right?”
Leaning up, she kissed his lips, chastely, an odd response considering he was still semi-erect inside her. “Thank you.”
Dark slashes came together over the bridge of his nose. “For the sex?”
“For not letting me get away with faking it.”
He chuckled and rolled off of her, pulling himself out. His hand went to his hardening cock, stroking the moisture over the growing shaft. “Why in the six shades of hell do women do that?”
Her hand joined his on his quest. “It seems like a good idea at the time.”
His fingers closed over hers, showing her the exact amount of pressure to use to please him. “I think it’s an interdimensional conspiracy between women to keep men in check.”
She slithered down until she could breathe onto his cock, “Not all men.”
He bucked as she took him between her lips, sucking on his cock until the head hit the back of her throat. His hands fisted at his sides as he watched her. She closed her eyes. He touched her face, right beneath the mask. “No, I want to see you.”
She released him to ask, “Why?”
“Because it turns me on to have a beautiful woman suck my cock. Tonight is all about pleasure, right?”
She nodded.
“You sorry about this? About what we’ve done together?” She thought about it, still idly stroking his shaft. “No, not sorry. I kind of wish things hadn’t happened in the order that they had. I’m a twice-over kidnapping victim who’s been emotionally manipulated. I’ve seen things I didn’t want to see. Done things that I’m sure will horrify me in the light of day.”
He smirked at her. “Doll, that’s life. You can’t have everything just as you want it.”
Her lips curled up. “Oh, some things I think I can.”
He didn’t question her anymore as she licked and sucked him until his body bowed off the bed. Again her germ shield gobbled up all the foreign matter, and she was almost sorry because she wanted the taste of him in her mouth.
But not enough to break all the rules.
Some things were just too deeply ingrained.
She dozed for a while and woke to the feel of strong masculine hands parting her thighs. “I want you again,” Zan murmured, fingering the wetness between her legs. “Do you yield?”
Silently, she nodded, planting her feet to lift her pelvis up to meet his questing fingers. He played for a time, swirling over her nub, gathering her wetness to coat her flushed sex. She was more than ready by the time he came inside her, riding her hard and fast. She didn’t orgasm this time, but she didn’t fake one either.
Progress was progress, no matter how small.
20
W
ell, that happened.
Gen didn’t want to open her eyes and face the world of hurt waiting just beyond. Everything ached and throbbed, centering in her skull and radiating outward. Damn foreign booze. If this was what arthritis felt like, she didn’t know how Nana could stand it.
ell, that happened.
Gen didn’t want to open her eyes and face the world of hurt waiting just beyond. Everything ached and throbbed, centering in her skull and radiating outward. Damn foreign booze. If this was what arthritis felt like, she didn’t know how Nana could stand it.
Stretching her cold, stiff, naked body, she bumped into Zan’s sleeping form. Now she had to open her eyes, to stare down at the man who’d shown her the stars last night. He’d found peace in his sleep, and she wanted to believe she was part of the reason for that. She’d certainly done her damnedest to wear him out. And he’d returned the favor, with interest.
Good morning,
Rhys offered in a perfectly civil tone.
Rhys offered in a perfectly civil tone.
Gen opened her mouth but then snapped it shut again because she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t owe him any explanation for her actions. Plus, she didn’t want to wake Zan up just yet.
I’m not your judge, Gen. You are free to do whatever you please, with whomever you wish. Though you might want to have a psychologist look into your tendency for falling into bed with your abductors. It’s not a healthy habit.
“Neither is jumping in front of a laser pistol,” she muttered, scooting out of bed. “Didn’t stop you.”
He remained quiet as she used the facilities, then gathered her clothes, ready to put him back in his candle and have some space for a change. Maybe without him in her head, she could breathe and begin to think clearly again.
Plus, she didn’t want Zan to see her first thing in the morning so soon. Sex on a first date, fine, but morning after was more of a fifth date kind of deal.
Wait, you want a relationship with the pirate now? What about our mission?
“
Your
mission,” she corrected, squinting down the halls, trying to find the room where they’d left their bags. “I’m putting you back in the candle and washing my hands of you for good.”
Your
mission,” she corrected, squinting down the halls, trying to find the room where they’d left their bags. “I’m putting you back in the candle and washing my hands of you for good.”
Sweetness, please, think about this for a moment. I understand you want to punish me—
She laughed hollowly. “This isn’t all about you, Rhys! Stop trying to guilt me into taking on your hopeless quest! I’m not a hero, and it’s not wrong that I don’t want to die helping you kill yourself.”
My sister, Gen. I don’t know whether she’s been captured, and it’s killing me. Her and millions of other children across my planet will be enslaved if I do not find a way to stop Illustra. I need you.
His plea cut her to the quick. He needed her, but he didn’t want her. Not enough to speak up and stop last night from happening. The night before he’d left her raw and bleeding, and because he was Rhys, he would be the only one to see it. “What would you have me do? Steal a shuttle and get blown up? Use my body to manipulate Zan? I doubt I could, even if I wanted to. How about opening a vein as a distraction? Tell me, Rhys, in your spiritually enlightened opinion, how much is too much to ask for?”
He didn’t answer, and it was just as well, because she couldn’t find the damn room. Every turn on this space bucket looked exactly like the one that had come before it and the one after. Several of the pirates cast her knowing smirks as they passed by.
Brings
walk of shame
to a whole new level.
But the thought came from her, not Rhys.
walk of shame
to a whole new level.
But the thought came from her, not Rhys.
Finally, she found her door and stepped inside. The guard they’d overpowered was long gone, but the candle still burned on the dresser. Securing the door, she walked over to it and knelt down, cupping her hands around the flame. Heat leeched into her, and she let everything out, all of her sadness and fear, the hopeless despair she associated with caring for Rhys. Let him have it all. Sure wasn’t doing her a whit of good.
A hand landed on her shoulder. She looked at it, so foreign and familiar all at once. “He won’t ever love you. His heart is impenetrable.”
She stared up into Rhys’s face, taking in the red-gold curls, the green eyes that could see so much. “Neither will you.”
His head shook back and forth slowly. “No, you’re wrong there, sweetness. I do love you. Just because I have something else I must do doesn’t negate that in any way. I can’t be what you need, can’t offer you much of anything, not even my body.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You know what, Rhys? That’s a load of bullshit excuses.”
“You’re angry,” Captain Obvious stated.
“You haven’t given me anything except marching orders and a few pretty words. There’s no trust between us, Rhys, and I’m sick of being used!” Shame warred with indignation because she’d used Zan.
Though he didn’t appear to mind at the time.
Unlike so many other men, Rhys refused to look away from her furious face, taking the heat of her words full force. “What would you have me do to prove my sincerity to you?”
Give up your mission.
She wouldn’t make that demand, though, not when she knew how much it meant to him. Deep down in the honest part of her, Gen knew the reason she was falling for him so hard was because of his noble streak, that unwavering determination to do what was right, regardless of the personal cost. He’d destroy her if she let him.
She wouldn’t make that demand, though, not when she knew how much it meant to him. Deep down in the honest part of her, Gen knew the reason she was falling for him so hard was because of his noble streak, that unwavering determination to do what was right, regardless of the personal cost. He’d destroy her if she let him.
His mind had gone in another direction, though. “Would you have me take you now, your body still warmed by the touch of another? If you asked it, I would be inside you in a heartbeat, claiming you for my own, pleasuring you in ways you know only I can.” He gripped her hair, yanking back in a firm tug. “I’m not the hero you make me out to be, Gen. I’m a murderer and a bastard, and I can’t ever seem to do what’s right.”
Rhys didn’t wait for Gen to respond, just slanted his mouth over hers in the brutal, punishing kiss that he knew she craved. Being with her, being inside her head and heart last night, had redefined torture for him. All this time, he’d believed that the uncertainty over what might have happened to Sela was the worst sort of misery. His sister’s well-being remained in the forefront in his mind, until the space pirate had invaded his territory.
How was her time with Zan any different than what she’d done with Marshal’s body, for his own pleasure? Rhys had had several hours to brood on it and stew in his misery until the scent of failure was all he could smell. He’d failed Marshal, sacrificed the man’s life for Gen and then pushed her away too. All the lessons he’d been taught at the abbey about cultivating tender feelings, using love and joy to heal, and still, look at the damage he’d wrought.
Her hands splayed across his chest, poised to push him away. Rhys accepted she had every right to, but until she said the word
no
, he would do his best to convince her that his feelings for her were sincere. He wasn’t punishing her with the bruising kiss but himself for being so complacent, for believing she was like a boomerang he could toss away time and again and still she would come back to him. However, he’d seriously miscalculated the human heart being more difficult to interpret than anything he’d ever encountered. Her attachment was not to his quest, to right or wrongness of what Illustra did. Gen was no freedom fighter; she’d done it all for
him
.
no
, he would do his best to convince her that his feelings for her were sincere. He wasn’t punishing her with the bruising kiss but himself for being so complacent, for believing she was like a boomerang he could toss away time and again and still she would come back to him. However, he’d seriously miscalculated the human heart being more difficult to interpret than anything he’d ever encountered. Her attachment was not to his quest, to right or wrongness of what Illustra did. Gen was no freedom fighter; she’d done it all for
him
.
And he’d driven her into another man’s arms.
As he explored the sweet recesses of her mouth, his hands trailed down to her round ass, pulling her against him, his shaft throbbing, ready to plunge inside her. If the urge to claim her was so strong in this form, he would probably die when he reinhabited his body.
Her emotional aura sparked with purple and gold flecks of excitement. He pinned her against the wall, reaching between her cheeks and exploring her wetness. She gasped and shivered when his finger invaded her core, making his cock twitch in anticipation.
Soon.
Soon.
She tore her lips from his. “No ... wait a minute.”
“Let me,” he rasped, spreading her slick lube around her sensitized folds. Her hips bucked once, and he leaned in to take her mouth again. “I know you want this. I want to love you, Gen.”
“I said stop, damn you!” Her forehead flew forward, bashing him in the chin. His teeth slammed together, stunning him from his intent. He released her and backed down. Her eyes narrowed on him, her hair wild, her body quaking under the intensity of her emotions. “This is another one of your games, right?”
His jaw cracked a few times as he stretched its hinge. If he’d been in his flesh-and-bone body, she probably would have dislocated it. “I have not been playing games with you, sweetness.”
“Bullshit.” Hands clenched into fists, she stalked toward him. “You’ve been manipulating me from the moment your wick ignited. You think I’m a moron, that I don’t know what this is all about? Another man dared to play with your toy, making her feel things you didn’t put there. Nothing you can say or do will convince me to help you anymore, Rhys.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I thought Zan could give you what you needed, but if I hadn’t—”
Her eyes blazed. “What? Rhys, what did you do?”
He ground his teeth together, wincing at the remembered soreness, and nodded once. She already suspected and he wouldn’t lie to her again. “I’m sorry, I broke my vow. I manipulated your emotions so your pleasure overwhelmed your sadness.”
She looked away, her shoulders stiff. “I knew it would happen, that sooner or later the temptation would be too much. Face facts, Rhys. You’re an addict. Can’t seem to stop yourself from playing puppet master and yanking my strings so I dance for you. You’re just as bad as Marshal.”
Her words cut him deeply, her lack of faith in him as unsurprising as it was heart wrenching. “It’s not like that! I wanted you to find happiness. Without me. And I’m so, so sorry.”
Her eyes flashed fire. “Goddamn you straight to hell, Rhys. The only difference between last night and every other sexual encounter of my life is that you were faking it for me!”
“You forget, you never had to fake it with me, love.” He moved in close, forcing her to back up until her knees hit the edge of the bed. “Are you really seeing a forever with the space pirate? Even if his life span does exceed the projected thirty-four years, you know you’re only a shadow of what he wants—a woman he can’t have.”
She blinked twice, her mouth hanging open. “Wow, you unimaginable bastard. I cannot believe you just said that to me. On top of everything else, do you really need to rip me to shreds in every way you can imagine?”
Rhys didn’t understand where her hurt came from, when he spoke only the truth. “Why be Zan’s second choice when I want you and no other?”
She shoved him, hard. “This isn’t a competition to discover who wants me more! I get to choose what’s best for me. And you know something? There are several options out there other than you or Zan.” Her eyebrows drew together as though she mulled over some new information.
Frustration gnawed him from the inside out. Though she stood only a few inches away, he felt the yawning chasm separating them, growing with every breath. The obstacles piled higher every second of every day. “Genevieve—”
She held her hand to his lips. “I need to be alone for a little while. To think, sort through my feelings.”
He nodded, though he wanted to howl. “This has been too hard on you. I understand.” He couldn’t leave her like this, though, with everything so unsettled. Taking her in his embrace, he buried his nose in the soft dark strands of her hair. “I’m so sorry. I was only doing what I thought was right. It was hell for me, Gen. A hell I deserved—but you don’t. I want what’s best for you, sweetness.”
She sighed, accepting the hug. “I know. It’s why I haven’t murdered you. This isn’t forever. I just need space.”
He pulled back, stroking his thumb across her cheek. “You’re in space, sweetness.”
She cast him a withering glance. “You know what I mean. Time and a little bit of quiet on my own.”
Fear congealed into an iceberg in his gut. “Promise me you won’t go back to him without talking to me again.”
She wanted to say no. Rhys could see it in her eyes. By all rights she ought to tell him to go screw himself and his mission. Hurt emanated from her like heat from a star, and he realized in that endless moment that if she refused him now, he’d have to leave her be. The decision must be hers.
What came out of her mouth was, “Okay.”
“Thank you,” he breathed. Heaving one last sigh filled to the brim with relief, he stepped away. Letting go of her powerful emotional pull, he permitted his resonance to fade back into the candle’s flame.
Where he would wait.
Gen sniffled as he vanished, truly alone for the first time in days. Damn, it had been so hard to say no to Rhys when his alpha switch had been flipped to overkill. But hopping into bed with him would be only a temporary fix. He was still on a mission, one she felt obligated to help him with, if only so she wouldn’t be shrouded by guilt for the rest of her life.
First order of business—she needed a damn shower. Good thing the pirates didn’t keep birds on board the ship; they would have all nested in her hair by now. A small cubbyhole-type room adjoined the bedchamber. Stripping off her clothes, she headed for it. The lights turned on as soon as she crossed the threshold, and the door whizzed shut behind her. Hopefully she could figure out how to open it when she’d finished.
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