No Limits (8 page)

Despite what her father had said, and what she was going through now, he didn't believe she was hiding on the Bar T—that wasn't Molly Tanner's way. She was the kind of woman who met life head-on and took what she wanted. And for some reason she wanted him.

He hoped he wouldn't disappoint her. But at this moment, with the scent of her filling every breath he took, the only thing he could be sure of was how much he wanted her.

He just needed to be inside of her. To prove to himself that he wasn't lost.

Damn.

He shut down his mind and just stared at her long, slim legs. Her skirt still covered the top of her thighs and suddenly the clothing wasn't tolerable to him anymore.

“You're so beautiful,” he said, the words torn from some place deep in his soul.

“I'm not,” she argued.

“You are.” His fingers drifted higher and felt something rough on her inner thigh. Somehow he hadn't noticed it earlier. Leaning lower, he examined her leg in the dusky twilight.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Burn scar from the time Annabelle and I tried smoking in the barn, but Jeb busted us. I dropped the cigarette in surprise but caught it between my legs, not wanting to start a fire in the hay. It burned my jeans instead.”

He touched the scar again, lightly. The skin was raised, but it wasn't as rough as it would have been when she'd first got it.

“When was this?”

“The spring before you arrived.”

“You tried smoking at twelve?” he asked. No matter how much he learned about her, there was still a lot he didn't know.

“Yeah, my mom had just died. I was going through a phase,” she said.

He feathered his fingers over the patch of skin. It fit with what he knew of Molly.

He leaned down and kissed the scar.

What else had she done? What other scars were hidden on her body? He vowed to find them all. To search them out so he could kiss them and soothe them. To make her his completely and learn all the secrets that he'd never realized she was keeping.

But how could he do that and still keep his own secrets? It was a path he'd have to tread very carefully.

He kept kissing her, moving higher and higher until he reached the edge of her panties. He mouthed her through her underwear and felt the heat of her body. Her thighs tightened around his head and then she let them fall open.

He pushed her panties to one side and parted her with his fingers. Her hair was neatly trimmed, her flesh a delicate pink and the little nub at the center was swollen with need. He gently caressed her, rubbing her clit in a circular motion, and she moaned. A sound of approval. He continued to move his finger over her before he leaned down closer again.

He breathed on her first, watching her legs spread wider apart as she lifted her hips, presenting her body to him. He ran his tongue over her and she grabbed his head, resting one of her legs on his shoulder as he continued to lick her delicate flesh. She tasted amazing. He traced her core with his finger, just teasing the opening, and then slowly pushed one finger up inside of her. Her hips jerked upright.

He added a second finger and thrust them deeper. She was the perfect dessert on this starry night. She felt like everything to him in this moment. He was rock hard, his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans, but he didn't want to stop touching Molly to free it. He continued moving his mouth over her until he felt her body start to tighten around his fingers. He kept rocking them in and out of her until she arched her back and cried his name.

He lifted his head, pulled his fingers from her body and looked up at her. She was on her elbows gazing down at him. Her eyes were fiery, passionate. There was a flush to her body and her breath rasped in and out, causing her breasts to rise and fall rapidly.

“That was...”

“Delicious.”

He climbed up on the tailgate and straddled her as she reached for the zipper of his jeans. He had a condom. Just one. Optimistically put in his pocket earlier when he'd stopped for gas on the way to the coffee shop.

He'd wanted her for so long. He'd known it when he arrived on the Bar T, and that deep need for her had been confirmed today in the lawyer's office when he'd realized he wanted to be her hero. He wanted to come up with a solution that not only would be palatable to her but would impress her.

Shit.
He was thirty-one and still trying to figure out how to impress a girl he liked. He'd hoped maybe he'd have figured women out by this age. Now he was wise enough to know he never would.

But he knew what she wanted tonight and he meant to give it to her. Some things in his life were out of his control right now, but with Molly there were no limits. He was in charge and he meant to take full advantage of that tonight.

She reached into the opening of his jeans as she lowered the zipper; he felt her hand rubbing up and down his cock. He jerked forward and realized his control was more tenuous than he'd imagined.

He had been at the space station for a year and that was a long time without anything besides his fantasies to keep him company. His body was primed. And this was Molly...which made it so much sweeter.

She traced his length, her fingernail scraping over his boxers. He wanted to feel her touch on his naked skin. He quickly freed himself, the evening air brushing over his aroused flesh, as she scooted backward, coming up on her knees to look at him.

She took his shaft in one hand, stroking him in her fist. Moving it up and down in a slow and sensuous way that made his balls tighten. She skimmed her finger over the tip of his erection and his hips jerked forward.

She cupped him in one hand and squeezed very softly as she tightened her grip on his cock. He started to thrust in her hand. She leaned forward and he felt her breath on him a moment before her tongue traced the head of his penis.

The beginning of his orgasm shivered up and down his spine and he pressed his hips forward, feeling her mouth engulf him. He tried to control himself—he'd been lauded for his self-control. But her mouth made a mockery of that. He was thrusting into her mouth, his hands in her hair and her hands on his balls.

But he wanted more for this first encounter with her. He forced himself to pull back. She followed him. But he tipped her chin up and looked down into her eyes.

“I need to be inside of you,” he said.

She nodded. “I want that, too.”

She reached under her dress and removed her panties. Then she looked at him. He put the condom on with one hand and then drew her closer until she straddled his lap. His hands under her dress, he felt the warmth of her body in contrast to the cool fabric.

He ran his hands down her spine; she arched over him and brought her mouth down hard on his. She took one of his hands and brought it to her breast. He cupped it and then pushed the fabric out of his way.

She reached behind her, pulled the dress over her head and tossed it away. Then, she slowly undid the buttons on the front of his shirt. She pushed it aside and leaned down to kiss him. One of his hands tangled in her hair as their mouths met again and he shifted his hips so that the tip of his cock was poised at the entrance of her body.

She hovered over him and then slowly lowered herself down his length. He sucked her tongue deeper into his mouth. She stopped, letting her body adjust to his size, and then she rocked up until he was almost completely out of her before plunging back down on him.

She tore her mouth from his, tipping her head back as she rode him hard. He pushed the fabric of her bra out of his way and found her nipple with his mouth. He sucked on her and felt her moving faster and more forcefully against him. But it wasn't enough. He needed more.

He grabbed her hips, clutching at her ass, as he drove himself up into her and pulled her down against him. The fire of sex engulfed them both as they drove themselves harder and harder until she screamed his name and he felt her tightening around him. He held her hips tight against him as he continued to thrust up into her, sucking her nipple deeper into his mouth until he felt his balls tighten and he came. Emptying himself, he continued to thrust into her until he was spent.

She collapsed against him, her head on his shoulder. He held her loosely, but he wanted to clutch her to him. Wanted to remember this moment, her pressed against him like a warm blanket, when he was back in the coldness of space.

“Well, you showed me the stars tonight,” she said, her voice breathless and her tone, he suspected, deliberately light.

“And you showed me how little I know of the universe. That there are still so many mysteries I have yet to understand.”

He drew her dress over her and held her in his arms. He wanted to pretend that this had changed nothing, but instead it seemed that everything was different now. He held her so close that it was impossible to deny it.

She'd become important to him.

She'd made a place inside his soul.

8

J
ASON
TOLD
HER
about the night sky as he held her in his arms. In the distance there was nothing but endless inky darkness. They were too far from town to see the flickering streetlights and too far from the buildings on the ranch to see their lights, either. It was as if they were the only two people on the planet at this moment.

“Is that the appeal of traveling to Mars or another far-off planet?” she asked. “Being the only person there...well, apart from the rest of the crew, of course.”

“Some of it,” he said. “Part of it is that when I'm up there I don't have the worries I do on Earth. I just have to do my job. And everything is mission critical. I can't stop to worry about anything else.”

“I wouldn't mind getting away from my worries here,” she said. “But I'd miss the ranch.”

He tightened his arms around her and smoothed her hair absently. He was mellow. Hell, she was, too. It was as if sex had reset something inside of her that she hadn't realized was askew.

“What would you run away from?” he asked.

She thought about it for a moment. She could tell him anything. That was what it felt like tonight. He was warm and comforting as he held her.

“Just all the doubts that I have,” she said. “I get so tired of wondering if I'm doing what Dad wanted. I hate that he's not here. I wish... I almost wish he'd been sick for a little while so I could have had some warning, been able to say good-bye, but that's selfish. He would have hated being stuck in bed, unable to take care of things around the ranch. Still, it would have been easier for me.”

He rubbed her arm up and down.

“I wish I'd been here. As much as I like being up there...I wish I'd been here for you when Mick had his accident. I wish I'd told him at least once how grateful I am for what he did for me,” Jason said.

She squeezed his wrist. “He knew.”

“Really?”

“Yes. He was very proud of you. He told everyone who came to the ranch, didn't matter if they were delivering feed or a new stud. Dad would tell them about his ‘son' the astronaut.”

Jason squeezed her tight and she heard his breath catch. She turned to look at him, but he'd tipped his head up toward the sky and she gave him a moment. Gave him the time he needed to get his emotions under control.

That was the thing about grief, she thought—it wasn't just over and done. It kept sweeping along and hitting her when she least expected it. But talking about Dad tonight felt right. Felt like they both needed to get some sort of closure in regard to the man who'd meant the world to both of them and had left them so unexpectedly.

She knew that if it hadn't been for Mick's death, she and Jason wouldn't be here. They would both be living their ordinary lives.

“I miss him,” she said.

“I know. What do you think he'd say about us turning part of the ranch into a training facility?”

“I have no idea,” she said. “It's different. Is this your way of staying with NASA even if you don't pass the medical?”

He shrugged. She noticed he did that a lot when he didn't want to answer a question. She got it. It was easier for her to talk about him than to examine herself.

“Sort of,” he said. “Ever feel like you were born at the wrong time?”

“Not really. I'm pretty happy right where I am.”

“Yeah, I can see that. That's probably why everything has hit you so hard with your dad,” he said. “I mean...”

She reached up and touched his face. “I get it. Why do you wish you were born in a different time?”

“Well, if I was born thirty years earlier, I could have been part of the moon landing and those missions. Twenty years later and I'd be the perfect age to land on Mars one day. Instead...”

“You are doing the work to enable others to go to Mars. To allow us to see if there is other life in the universe,” she said. “This facility—the missions you would be training astronauts for are key to the next step.”

He squeezed her tighter. “I sound like a punk, complaining like that.”

“I wouldn't word it like that,” she said.

“No, you're much too nice. But my buddies in the Cronus program...”

“Like who? Tell me about them. Are there any women?” she asked. “I'm friends with Jessie Odell, the adventurer, and she does some crazy-ass stuff—surviving in the wilderness, going places where very few men and even fewer women have been.”

“I've heard of her. Who hasn't?” Jason said. “How do you know her?”

“We're pen pals. After my smoking incident in the barn, Dad thought I needed a better use of my time. So he found her fan mail address—she was still doing that show with her parents—and I wrote to her. I told her about living on the ranch. She grew up on the ocean and...we connected. We both were isolated in our own ways.”

“That's pretty cool. I felt that way when I got assigned to my first mission and started training with Dennis. He'd done a bunch of missions, but we connected. He's like a big brother to me.”

“And now he's the guy in charge of the Cronus program, right?”

“Yes. If I pass my medical tests, I'll be competing for a place in his program, along with a bunch of other guys.”

“Do you know most of them?” she asked.

“Yeah. I'm probably one of the senior astronauts.”

“You're not that old,” she said.

“Geez, thanks,” he said. “I meant because of the mission-hours I've clocked.”

“I know it will be very hard for you if you're grounded permanently,” she said. “Why would you want the facility here, outside Houston? Won't that make it even worse?”

“I've spent my entire career working toward manned missions to Mars and making sure we will be prepared to form a colony there one day. I need to know what's out there. But if I'm grounded, I at least want to be involved in some way. I'd never be able to leave NASA completely.”

In his voice she heard the same pain and longing she felt when she thought about losing the ranch. He would help her save the Bar T—she knew even if they didn't win the bid, Jason wouldn't leave until the ranch was secure. And now she wanted to do as much for him. She would help him get into shape, do whatever he needed to be ready for his medical. Not for herself, because she was just realizing how much she'd miss him, but for him.

* * *

W
ELL
,
GETTING
DRESSED
wasn't
awkward at all. Molly handed him his clothes and then he followed her back to the ranch. Rina wasn't in the kitchen, but she'd left half a blueberry pie in the middle of the table with a Post-it note that said there was homemade ice cream in the fridge.

Molly raised her eyebrows at him. “Do you want pie?”

“Yeah, and maybe some decaf,” he said. “But I need a shower.”

She tipped her head to the side, watching him with a guarded look. “I think you are all right.”

She was probably right, but now that he was back in this house he felt the walls closing in on him. He needed to get away for a few minutes. Needed time to think.

Molly was great, but she made him want things that weren't in his plans. She made the ranch feel like...well, hell, it felt like home. And he didn't want that. The Bar T Ranch was his temporary stopover, nothing more.

“Yeah, but I'd still like a shower. Meet me back down here in thirty?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I'm going to skip dessert and head up. I have to be up early to do chores with the men. I've missed them two days in a row. Jeb will give me hell if I'm not there tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he said.

The distance between them was creeping back in. Though he'd thought he wanted that, he realized he didn't want it this way. He didn't want to feel like he'd done or said the wrong thing. But he was pretty sure he had.

When hadn't he said the wrong thing? “I'm sorry. It's just...tonight was...”

“Don't say anything else. I'm tired. Like I said, I've got to be up early and tonight was nice. I wish it didn't have to end, but it's like those old stories about the man in the moon. When we look at it too long it falls apart. Let's say good-night now before I make this awkward.”

But it was too late. He knew it and he read in her eyes that she did, too. He wanted to apologize again, but she must know he hadn't meant for this to happen. Didn't she? “Do you need me in the morning?”

“Nah. You might want to ride some of the fences tomorrow and get the lay of the land again. You can take out the Mule, the all-terrain vehicle. I'll assign one of our hands to take you around.”

“Okay. I also want to see the acreage you spoke of using for the facility.”

“Jeb is working on clearing it. We haven't used it for cattle in a while. We can talk it over at breakfast if you're up that early or at lunch, which is at noon.”

“I'll be at breakfast,” he said.

She nodded. “Night.”

She walked out of the room and he just watched her leave. He sat down hard at the table and looked around the big ranch kitchen. The hardwood table that had been built to serve the ranch hands. It was sturdy, well used. Like he felt tonight. Not on its last leg, but worn and scarred. He wanted to believe that he was managing life and all that it threw at him, but tonight he wasn't.

He wanted... Hell, he had no idea. Sex was supposed to be a stress relief. Wasn't that what Hemi always called it? But sex with Molly wasn't just physical. It was more like finding another part of his soul—a part he'd never even knew existed—and feeling as if he was a little closer to being whole.

A person couldn't be that for him. He didn't trust the universe to keep the people he cared about alive and with him. He kept his relationships carefully limited. Mick, Dennis, maybe Hemi and a few of the other guys who were trying for the Cronus missions. That was it. He didn't let many people get close to him and he had the uncomfortable feeling that Molly had slipped in when he hadn't been paying attention.

Her long legs and curvy hips had distracted him. Made him think with his dick instead of his brain. And now he was dealing with the fallout.

He put his head in his hands, stared at the tabletop and saw a small crescent moon etched into the wood. Dropping his hands, he traced the old carving. He remembered how rebellious he'd felt when he'd worked on it over the course of his first summer at the ranch. He'd felt like he had a secret. Tonight he'd unconsciously sat in the same spot that had been his all those years ago. He glanced across the table, remembered that Molly had sat there.

It was funny that no matter how much had changed this still felt like his spot. He rubbed the moon again. He had always been so sure of what he wanted, where he wanted to go, where his real home was—up there in the stars—but as he looked around the kitchen and the memories of the past swelled around him, he realized he had more of a home here than he wanted to remember.

* * *

H
E
LEFT
BEFORE
dawn broke over the horizon the next day. Making love to Molly...well, that hadn't been his smartest idea, but he didn't regret it.

As much as ranching wasn't in his plans, he owed it to Mick to make sure that the place survived.

Despite his desire to ride the fences and see the acreage they'd discussed the night before, he didn't want to wait another moment before putting their plan into action. That was why he'd left. It wasn't cowardice driving him from her arms; it was determination. Or at least that was his story and he was sticking to it. He fiddled with the radio and had a flashback to this first ride out to the Bar T Ranch sitting in the front seat with Mick.

The older man had been larger than life and his voice the kind of quiet rumble that rolled through a room the way thunder did across the wide-open plains. He'd hit the different buttons on the radio and looked over at Jason—he'd definitely only been Jason back then—and said, “You like this kind of music?”

Jason hadn't said anything. Still mad that he'd gotten busted for living alone and scared that legally he had to live with this guy.

Finally, after exhausting all of the choices, Mick turned to him, stared with those wise eyes of his and said, “You don't like much, do you?”

Jason had shrugged. He'd been living alone for six months after his mom died. For most of that time there had been no electricity, no music. “I don't know.”

“Fair enough,” Mick said. “Now that you're living with us, you can figure it out.”

Mick had turned on a country music station. Not one of the modern ones. One that played classic country like George Jones, Hank Williams, Jr. and Conway Twitty. And Jason had been hooked. Mick knew it and kept him supplied with CDs and a new CD player in his room. It was the first thing he'd liked about his new life. That, and the fact that he didn't have to worry about finding his next meal or keeping warm at night.

Now, he stopped on that old classic country station. “Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes?” by George Jones began to play, and tears burned the back of Ace's eyes. He wondered if there'd ever be a man who could fill Mick's shoes. Ace was determined to do right by Molly and the ranch. It was the least he could do for the man who'd saved his life and made this future possible.

And there was Molly. He wanted her to always have the land she loved. To always be able to get on her horse and take that midnight ride across the pasture. He didn't want them to have to sell or lease a single acre.

He had texted Dennis as soon as he had a decent signal and told him he was coming to the base today. He got a response thirty minutes later confirming the appointment.

He thought he should probably contact Molly, but what would he say?