No Life But This (25 page)

I glanced at the old
man. Who had made sure of that?

‘While the debate raged, the embryos developed into foetuses. Several of them miscarried, as you know, leaving their mothers free. I established these women carefully in rehabilitation homes, shielding their identities from the press. This gave most of the other surrogates hope. All they had to do was wait it out.

‘UniCorp was at the centre of a major controversy.
And of course, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, I found that Guillory had passed the buck to me. He officially placed the entire development of the EP children on my supervision.’ He shook his head. ‘Guillory had what he wanted. I was politically ruined. It effectively removed all possibility of my ever being made CEO. I actually welcomed this development – you know I never wanted everyone’s
eyes on me,’ he said to Rose. ‘But this wasn’t how I would have wanted it to happen.

‘Soon, the babies were born …’ He looked at me. ‘And they were human. Painfully human. They looked human. They acted human. They cooed and cried and reached for their mothers. It was … terrifying to know what had been done to them. Many of the women wanted to keep these children they had been forced to carry.’
He sighed. ‘I did what I could. I got them lawyers and enabled them to campaign, but it failed. At this point I was called a flip-flopper by the press – suddenly they were human, and I was scorned and utterly derided. None of them understood; I was worried about the women. I was
their
 advocate; what
they
wanted was what I strove for. For all the good it did them. Technically, the children were
not human, and the surrogate mothers had no genetic claim, as the embryos had come from other women entirely. I managed to establish you with human rights – at least I did that much. Rights against abuse, unlawful imprisonment, campaigned for free access. I’m afraid it isn’t much more than the rights endowed upon gorillas and chimpanzees a century ago. But the surrogate mothers had free visitation
rights, and UniCorp had to treat you as children, not laboratory subjects. This gave you the right to an education,’ he told me. ‘If I hadn’t fought for that, you’d still be in that lab, mute and unable to read. You’d be an animal. But, as a parent has rights over a child, UniCorp held the rights over the EPs, and they were held under UniCorp guardianship.’

The old man took a deep breath and
looked at both of us. ‘I didn’t know this when I started … but the scientists had been hoping for you, Otto. They were actually
looking
for communication with a sentient being on a cellular level. I don’t know why they thought it would succeed. I don’t even know why they wanted it. But they did think so, and it did succeed. They got what they wanted out of you all. The cost, I felt, was astronomical.
I … I hated all of it. I set up an endowment to support the children and I walked away, trying to close my eyes to it. When some of the children died at an early age … I hoped none of you would make it beyond three.’ He straightened his back and took a deep breath. ‘I am sorry, Otto.’

Rose took a deep breath. ‘You were sent to do this. Didn’t you know what it meant?’

‘Yes. When it became clear
to me, I was disgusted, but it was still narrowly within the realm of my moral compass, such as it is.’ He scratched a spot on the back of his hand and lifted up a small flake of dry skin. ‘Three cells are not a human being, any more than this is.’ He flicked it away. ‘It was only when those three mutilated cells were essentially forced into human consciousness, and their mothers denied the rights
to their own bodies, I found myself embroiled in the most sordid and amoral crime that UniCorp has ever committed. Rose, you know, better than anyone, how much of a fool I can be. Do you think this – any of this – was what I wanted?’

Rose looked down.

He looked at me. ‘I did what I could for you – all of you. I paid for your lawyers, Otto, when Guillory wanted to deny you the right to accept
your scholarship to UniPrep. I signed and allowed for your name changes. I changed your doctors when I thought your medical conditions were being exploited, and you were being held prisoner that way. I kept the lab open, permitted outside scientific study, kept you in the public view, so UniCorp could not hide you away and do whatever they wanted to you.’

‘Like what?’ Rose asked.

The old man
shrugged wildly. ‘Kill you, clone you – charge admission. They could have done anything; it was all within their patent.’

Rose’s face had turned white again as she stared at him. ‘And you never told me this?’ she said quietly. ‘You’ve lived with me all these months, while Otto was my friend – Bren’s friend! – and you never said?’

The old man gazed at her steadily. ‘I told you, when you first
asked to live with me, that I couldn’t. There was more than one reason.’

He had bought respect from his family with his silence. The price for that silence was to be the lives of innocents on this barren hailstone of a moon. She stood up and walked across the room, her back very straight. She paused at the edge of the wall screen. ‘I suppose you’re too old for me to scold you any longer,’ she
said still turned away.

‘Please do,’ Xavier said. ‘If anyone can, it’s you. But for some things, I know there is no atonement.’ He looked back at me. ‘Many things.’

She wouldn’t look at him. She’d closed off, the briars strong and impenetrable in her face, ready to pierce him to the heart if he dared to touch her. He knew it. The green in his eyes, that she remembered as new leaves, had cooled
over the years to the dying grey of winter. He was no more touchable than she. ‘I am sorry,’ he said again. ‘I do not pretend it to be anything other than my own fault. I’m responsible.’ He paused. ‘I am responsible,’ he said again. ‘For all of it.’ He glanced over at her stiff back, her clenched, trembling hands. ‘Take care of her,’ he whispered to me, too softly for her to hear. And he left.

Rose seemed to deflate after he had gone, and she turned to me, her face stark and pale as she crumbled inside. ‘Otto,’ she whimpered, her voice as small and helpless as a child’s. ‘I’m so sorry.’

I held my arms open to her, and she lay down beside me, burying her head in my chest. Rose felt betrayed, abandoned, terrified and guilty all at once. She longed for stasis. She wasn’t used to processing
betrayal and abandonment without the chemicals of a stass tube. Her subconscious was roaring and roiling, thorny briars of intuition and emotion raking her consciousness until it bled. I was sick, probably dying, but I still knew how to help her. Quietly, unobtrusively, I entered her mind and tried to still the writhing thorns until I could reach her consciousness. Then, very gently, I sent it
away, folding it into my hand, and drawing Rose into sleep. Her dreams overtook her, and I mentally stepped back, watching them – twisted, confused things as immense as the sky. She needed the time to assimilate all she had just learned.

Frankly, I did, too. I closed my eyes, and 42 stared at me from my own subconscious.
(Quin is lost to his hatred, now,)
she told me.
(And your emotionally fragile
Briar Rose has reached the edges of her strength. You’re not even yourself anymore. You don’t have the power to solve this, not even with all your gifts. Feel in over your head yet?)

‘Shut up
,’ I told her, but she already knew what I was thinking. Things were starting to look easier on 42’s side of death.

We were shocked awake by a strong hand shaking the bed. ‘Get up! Move. We have to get out of here.’

Rose blinked sleepily, overheated in her glamorous insulated dress. ‘What’s wrong?’

Dr Zellwegger stood over us, his face flushed. ‘Your friend’s unspeakable brother, that’s what,’ he said. He dragged Rose off the bed and pushed her towards Moriko and Kenji, who huddled behind him,
frightened.

‘What’s Quin done now?’

‘He’s joined the rebels,’ Dr Zellwegger said. ‘And they’re destroying the village.’

‘That’s absurd!’ Rose snapped.

‘Absurd or not, we’re leaving,’ Dr Zellwegger said. ‘Captain Jagan has his icebreaker ready at the hydrobay. We’re going now.’

‘Where’s Xavier?’ Rose asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Dr Zellwegger said. ‘Move.’

Rose stopped short. ‘I’m not leaving
without Xavier.’

‘I don’t know where he is,’ Dr Zellwgger said. ‘He’s not in the hotel. He’s probably already on the ship.’

‘No,’ Rose said. ‘He’d never leave without me.’

‘We have to go!’ Dr Zellwegger said firmly. ‘Listen.’ A rough bang vibrated beneath our feet. ‘Do you hear that? The rebels have declared the ice village a decadence for the wealthy, and they’re blowing up each of the buildings
one by one.’

‘Why doesn’t Captain Jagan stop them?’

‘He’s trying,’ Dr Zellwegger said, ‘which is why people are dying. The rebels are actually allowing people to leave the buildings, but those Plastines don’t care what they’re doing. They’re going through, picking up anyone they think might be a rebel, and detaining or killing them, no probable cause required. Basically being outside without
an escort right now is tantamount to an admission of guilt.’

‘But Xavier’s out there!’ I grabbed Rose’s hand. ‘And Quin,’ she added.

‘They won’t hurt my father,’ Dr Zellwegger said. ‘It’s not as if he looks like a rebel.’

He didn’t mention Quin.

‘Jagan assigned us this unit. He’ll take us to the icebreaker,’ Dr Zellwegger added, gesturing towards a dead-eyed plastic escort who waited in the
hallway, beside two more conventional guards. The guards were armed with antique, wicked-looking guns, but the Plastine was terrifying just by dint of existing.

Rose balked, swallowed, and then snatched up her cloak. ‘Let’s go.’ She took my hand and walked calmly down the corridor. Her straight back belied her fear. She was just as frightened of the Plastines as she was of the bombers, but she
wasn’t going to cower and whimper in a corner, as part of her wished it could. We stepped outside, where things were even worse. The terrifying pops and bangs of the hydrogen IEDs were compounded by shattering ice and burning gear. People screamed, the sound echoing in the vaulted ceiling of the village chamber. Plastines ran past carrying struggling, soot-stained rebels – at least one looked like
he wasn’t alive. Rose gripped my hand tightly.

‘You can do it, love,’
I told her silently. ‘
You’d be shocked at the things I’ve managed to do.’
I was thinking of the Dark Times, and all the other riots I – as Xavier – had survived. Then, as if compounding my madness, I began arguing with myself.
But I didn’t do those things. The old man did those things, and I’m not him. I’m Rose’s Xavier, and
I’m as innocent as she is.

‘Otto, it’s okay,’ Rose whispered. ‘We just have to hold on a little while longer.’

‘
What are you talking about, it’s okay?’
I asked her. ‘
It’s a war out there!’

‘Just breathe. We’ll make it to the ship, and then I’ll get you some more—’ She cut herself off. ‘Otto’s medicines!’ She snatched her hand out of mine and turned back to Dr Zellwegger. ‘I have to get Otto’s
medicines!’

‘We’ll have to do without them,’ Dr Zellwegger said. ‘We can’t go back.’

‘Like hell we can’t!’ Rose snapped. She started back towards the hotel.

The Plastine approached and said something in its Europan Hindi style language. It placed one hand on Rose and pushed her back towards Dr Zellwegger. Dr Zellwegger barked at it in the same language, and it froze, but it didn’t back down.
‘We’re not going back, Rose,’ Dr Zellwegger said. ‘The Plastine isn’t mine, I don’t have the power to change its orders. It won’t turn.’

‘I’m going back,’ Rose said.

‘We have medicines on the
Minos
.’

‘That’s squitch, I know you don’t have what Otto needs, or I wouldn’t have had to bring it,’ Rose snapped.

‘I can’t turn back,’ Dr Zellwegger said, and there was a touch of panic in his voice.
‘We can’t leave without an escort. I have to get Moriko and Kenji to safety.’

Rose stopped struggling and gazed at Xavier’s grandchildren. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘You three go on. Take Otto with you, I’ll be right back.’

I grabbed her and pulled her to me. I didn’t even have to tell her, ‘
No way, I’m coming with you.’
It was pretty obvious in my face.

‘You can’t go back without an escort!’ Dr Zellwegger
said. ‘You’d be taken by the rebels, and your friend there isn’t … well …’ He trailed off. It was clear that I was not on the list of non-combatants, as far as Captain Jagan was concerned.

‘I will take them,’ one of the human guards said, then. I turned to look at him. He was slight, and rather young, no more than twenty or so. ‘We will get the gear and meet up at the port.’

‘I don’t think I
can make this Plastine wait that long, and it’s not safe out here.’

‘Go on without us,’ Rose said. ‘We’ll catch up. Hold the ship. I’m not leaving if Xavier’s not there, anyway.’

‘Rose!’

‘Go, Ted!’ Rose said. ‘Your dad’ll never forgive me if I let you and the twins get hurt.’ To my surprise, she jumped up and hugged him. Then she grabbed my hand and, gesturing to the guard, headed briskly back
towards the hotel.

The guard repositioned his weapon and followed right at our heels, more alert and responsible than he’d been a second ago with the Plastine dogging his tail. Rose gripped my hand, and I realized why she’d hugged Dr Zellwegger. In a different life, he could have been her son. ‘
No,’
I thought to her. ‘
It’s my life. It’s this one.’

‘Otto,’ Rose said carefully. ‘Let's just get
you your medicines. We can take care of the rest later.’

‘My name’s not Otto,’
I almost growled into her mind.

She stopped and stared at me. ‘Love,’ she said, not arguing the point. ‘We have to hurry.’

I searched her face. She’d let go of me, so I couldn’t read her, and I felt terribly unsettled. I wasn’t Otto, and I wasn’t Xavier, but I was both of them and neither of them and my brow furrowed
in confusion. She caught my head in her hands and kissed me firmly. It relaxed me considerably. (
Oh, stop it, you’re just making things worse.)

Rose stepped back and stared at me. ‘Shut up!’ I muttered to 42. Another explosion shook the ground as a building a block away went up in a fireball of shattering ice. Rose started, then looked back to me. The fear was stark on her white face.

‘Excuse
me, but we must move, yes?’ the guard said quietly.

‘Right,’ Rose said, and she ran off, dragging me with her. ‘What’s your name?’ she asked the guard.

‘Rahul,’ the guard said. ‘Pleased to meet you.’

‘Mutual,’ Rose panted. ‘Thanks for offering to help us.’

‘It is no problem,’ Rahul said. ‘I would rather protect you. I do not enjoy working with the dead ones.’

‘Not surprised,’ Rose said, picking
up her pace. ‘One tried to kill me, once.’

We made it back to the Norway Chalet. That corner of the village was completely deserted, and our feet echoed strangely on the grooved and pitted walkway ice. My head ached. ‘Otto, you wait here,’ Rose said. She took Rahul up to her room while I was left, my mind whirling, in the lobby.

The wall screen in the lobby had been left on, but the volume was
low. I was able to tune out the language that I did not understand, but then something in English caught my ear.

‘I’m telling you to stop this.’

I turned and looked. There was the old man, bruised, bound, on display, and presented to a news camera. One of the rebels – I thought I recognized his face from previous news stories – was facing him with a weapon in his hand. I turned the volume up.

There were clearly others in the icy room with the two of them – rustled movement and the occasional arm, leg, or top of a head was captured by the edge of the camera. The rebel that spoke back to Xavier was wearing the same type of brown coat that Quin had been wearing, earlier. In one hand he held a long, serrated blade. One of my memories recognized it as an ice-saw.

‘I will not stop,’ said
the rebel. ‘We have here Ron Zellwegger, leader of UniCorp itself! The architect of the oxygen tax, favoured emperor of the city ships. He is ours! He is our captive!’ There was a rough cheer from whoever else filled the icy room.

‘I’ve come here willingly,’ Xavier said. ‘I’ve come here to negotiate, unaccompanied, unarmed. You have your cameras, now let us talk.’

‘No!’ the rebel said. ‘I did
not bring you here to spread more of your lies.’

‘If you brought me here to publicly execute me, you’re wasting a valuable opportunity,’ Xavier said.

‘I am not going to execute you,’ said the rebel. ‘Though we have every reason to. Your people have abandoned us, imprisoned us, starved us, enslaved us, and taxed us for the privilege.’

‘I don’t deny that your circumstances are dire,’ Xavier said.
‘But for the sake of sanity, let us talk! Nothing can change if you persist in this violence.’

‘Talk has changed nothing before.’

‘Talk is the only thing that ever changes anything,’ Xavier said. ‘There is no war that did not end, except with people talking. There is no enslavement that was not abolished, except by people talking. There is no injustice, no barbarity, no insurrection that did
not ultimately end, except with—’

‘This is not your planet!’ the rebel interrupted. ‘This is not your court to make your speeches!’

‘Your violence will only postpone the speeches and the laws that must be made to change. Nothing evil ever ends until people talk. Even if it is only the last ones left.’

‘Quiet!’ the rebel yelled. ‘You have taken our food. You have robbed us of our freedom. You
have impoverished us for the air we breathe. But we are only your slaves. Now among us is one you have wronged far worse. You have robbed him of his life, of his humanity. I will not execute you. It is not my place.’ He handed the ice-blade to someone on his right.

The camera swung, and there, standing unharmed and unbound, was Quin. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and his nose was
still bruised from our fight. ‘You are one of us, now,’ the rebel said. ‘His life is yours.’

‘No.’

The anguished whisper came from behind me, and I knew Rose had come back. We watched in horror as Quin lifted the blade and looked at it, then looked down at Xavier, bound and kneeling before him.

‘No!’ Rose ran to the wall screen, hitting the wall with impotent fury. ‘Quin, no!’

Quin stared
at the blade for a long time. Neither Rose nor I had any doubt that Quin had it in him to kill. It was what he was built for, what his life had conditioned him for, what his every moment and every move had been leading towards. Then Quin glanced up. He seemed to look right at me, and his face hardened. He had recognized the camera. ‘I’ve had my entire life recorded for others to watch,’ Quin said
quietly. ‘Turn that burned thing off.’

The camera tilted, wavered crazily, and then cut out. ‘No!’ Rose yelled, but an anchorwoman had already taken the place of the transmission, and it was clear they were going to spend the next four hours talking about what ‘all this’ could mean with Europan pundits that I had no interesting in hearing pontificate.

Rose beat the wall beside the screen, and
I grabbed her and tried to calm her. ‘
It’s okay, it’s over. Don’t you see, this solves it!’

‘Get off me! Nothing is
solved
.’

‘
He’s not dead!’
I said. ‘
He’s not dead, he just escaped, that’s all. He just left that part behind.’
And without bothering to try and make it logical with words, I forced her to know how I was thinking, or how my sheer madness was making sense of it all. Rose couldn’t
be with Otto, and Xavier couldn’t be with Rose, so Xavier had escaped into Otto, leaving behind all the ugly pieces of himself – his age, his guilt, his crimes. He’d come into Otto and cleared out all the ugliness there – Otto’s own troubles, his moral dilemmas, his violent brother. Then the two leftover pieces had cancelled each other out. Otto’s family and his past had just eliminated the old
man, the useless, guilty, leftover old Xavier, so that Otto could reject it and abandon it. Now there was only me – whoever I was – a young guiltless Xavier; a sane, unreserved Otto; the best, refined version of both of them, Rose’s lover, perfect, whole.

Rose stepped back and slapped me, hard. ‘I hate you!’ She was crying. She moved and grabbed Rahul’s arm. She hoisted her bag of medicines higher
on her shoulder and shoved him towards the door. ‘Get us out of here,’ she said. She looked back at me. ‘Come on!’

It was an order, such as her father would have given.

I stood stunned, bewildered, no idea what was happening. (
Move it. Now.)
I couldn’t even listen to 42, so she stepped out of my head and grabbed me by the arm, dragging me after Rose with all her slight, sickly, thirteen years
of dying weight.

By the time I caught up to Rose, 42 was gone, (or had never existed in the first place) and Rose’s tears had dried. I tried to reach for her hand, but she slapped me away – all I caught from her mind was frustration – and pulled on her white gloves.

Another explosion rocketed behind us, and Rahul suddenly turned, holding his gun at the ready.

‘What is it?’ Rose asked.

‘Otto!’

The voice came from above and behind us. Rose turned, and there was Quin, standing on the roof of one of the buildings, surrounded by rebels in brown coats. Rose’s cheeks flushed, and she gripped her hands tightly. ‘I will see you dead, 50,’ she shouted back, her voice even and clear. ‘You will not escape me.’