No Knight Needed (16 page)

“I like that,” he whispered. “Hold me.”

Excitement poured through Clare, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back, feverish desire racing through her. It was beautiful and amazing and—

“Mom?”

Clare froze at the distant call, her heart hammering with desperate need as Griffin pulled back. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, as if they could will away the interruption and fall back into the magic that had begun to build between them. But as they lay there in frozen stillness, Clare felt the cocoon that they’d built around themselves beginning to unravel. The intimacy being torn apart. This special moment, this incredible feeling of being in Griffin’s arms was crumbling through her fingers. Her hands dug into his shoulders, as if she could hold onto it, keep it from slipping away from her—

Then she heard footsteps descending the stairs. Coming toward them. “Mom.”

This time, Clare heard the stress in her daughter’s voice, and she knew she had to go. “I’m sorry, I—”

Griffin caught her face and kissed her once, hard. “Go,” he said.

He smiled, and she smiled back, and something flashed between them. An understanding as parents? As lovers? She didn’t know, but it felt beautiful, as if she wasn’t alone.

“Go!” Griffin lightly smacked her bottom, and she scrambled off the bed and raced for the door as she heard Katie’s feet at the bottom of the stairs.

Safely out of Griffin’s room before Katie could see where she’d been, Clare hurried out into the hallway and intercepted her daughter as Katie reached the bottom step. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Bad dreams.” Katie was hugging Harvey, her ancient pink bunny who found his way into her bed only on really tough nights. Her hair was hanging across her face, and her shoulders were bunched. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Of course.” Clare put her arm around Katie, guiding her back toward her bedroom. Katie closed her eyes and rested her head on Clare’s shoulder, barely awake even as she walked.

As they reached the back hallway, Griffin leaned out his door. He nodded at Katie and raised his brows in question.

Clare smiled at his concern. “She’s okay,” she mouthed, as she smoothed her daughter’s hair back from her face.

Griffin nodded and slipped back inside. She heard the soft click of his door shutting as they walked past.

Their moment was over.

* * *

“You had sex!” Astrid declared as Clare walked over to the corner table of Wright’s with her cup of coffee the next morning.

Astrid’s hair was pulled back in a thick ponytail, but she’d woven delicate red and blue beads into a few of her strands. The beads were today’s daily reminder to herself that she really was the artist she wanted to be.

“Astrid! Shut up!” Clare glanced around her at the bustling crowds, but on this Tuesday morning, everyone seemed to be too busy to notice to Astrid’s attempt to embarrass her. Clare did a careful check of the table by the door, but Eppie wasn’t at her customary spot, thankfully. Eppie would not have missed that comment, for sure.

Clare made a face at Astrid as she slid into the chair beside Emma. “Seriously. I really don’t need anyone in this town talking about my sex life.”

Astrid wrinkled her nose and glanced around. “Sorry,” she said. “I was just so excited when I saw your expression when you walked in.” She raised her brows and lowered her voice expectantly. “You slept with him, didn’t you? Your eyes are totally sparkling.”

Clare felt her cheeks heat up. “I—”

“No, you didn’t. I can tell.” Emma gave Clare a thoughtful look as she picked at a cupcake. Emma was paint-free this morning, which hopefully was a good sign. Since she’d been back in town, Emma had been up before dawn painting, no matter what time she’d gone to bed, and Clare was starting to worry about her need to bury herself in her studio. There was, however, a cupcake on Emma’s tray, which suggested that Ophelia, at least, thought Emma was having a tough day. “You’re not glowing or traumatized enough to have done the tango with him.” Emma patted Clare’s shoulder. “Good girl.”

“I didn’t have sex with him.” Clare wrapped her hands around the coffee cup and let the heat penetrate her palms. Katie had had an early study session at school, and Clare had bailed before Griffin had emerged from his room, not quite sure what to say to him after last night. She peeked behind her to make sure no gray-haired ladies had zoomed in, but the backfield was clear. So, she leaned forward and lowered her voice, unable to keep the grin off her face. “But he kissed me.”

“Really?” Astrid clapped her hands, a delighted smile on her face. “How was it?”

Clare replayed that moment when Griffin’s lips had touched hers. The strength and heat of his body on hers. “Amazing. It was just incredible.”

“Oh,” Astrid said. “You look so happy right now. I’m so glad.”

Even Emma smiled. “Really?” She sighed and put her hand over her heart. “That’s so beautiful. You deserve a good kisser. They’re really wonderful.”

“And?” Astrid prompted. “What else?”

“Katie came downstairs and interrupted.” Clare had gone over that incident a thousand times in her head since last night. What would have happened if Katie hadn’t woken up? Or if she’d come down five minutes later? Clare still couldn’t decide whether she was glad Katie had come down, or not.

“Well, that’s okay. It builds anticipation.” Astrid sat back in her chair, her eyes dancing. “This sounds promising. Are you excited?”

Clare spun the cup around in her hands, trying to find the words. She’d sat there staring at that box of condoms this morning for at least ten minutes before getting into the shower. If anything happened with Griffin, it would be only a night, or two, and then real life would be back, facing her every morning. Could she really gallivant to the heavens with Griffin and be able to return peacefully to her world?

Emma leaned forward. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

Clare eyed the cupcake that suddenly looked very tempting. “I don’t know what to do.”

“About sleeping with him?” Astrid asked.

Clare shrugged. “About everything. I mean, it’s been so long. I’m totally not rational about it. When he was kissing me, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. I have no frame of reference or foundation or anything.” She picked up the dessert and realized that it was an old one. From yesterday? It was totally against her morals to eat it, but she broke off a piece of the hardened frosting anyway, craving the chocolate. “I mean, it was the most amazing sensation ever, to feel his body against me like that. I wasn’t even thinking logically. I just wanted more. I would have hung from the rafters with him, and that was just from a kiss! What will happen if there’s more? I’ll be insane. I won’t even know how to think or act or respond.”

“Of course you will,” Emma said. “It’s natural—”

“And that’s not all!” Clare popped another bite of the day old dessert in her mouth and made a face even as she chewed. It was dried out and crumbly, but the sugar hit her system in a well-needed boost. “Do I even like him? Or was it just the feeling of a man giving me attention? And what happens if I do like him? And then he leaves?” She shoved the rest of the cupcake into her mouth. “It was so much better before he reminded me of what I’d been missing from my life.” She groaned and put her forehead down on the table. “I’m such a wreck.”

Astrid laughed and put her arm around her. “Oh, babe, it’s okay. You’ll be fine.”

“No, I won’t,” Clare moaned, not lifting her head. “I don’t know how to have sex anymore. I don’t know how to kiss. I was so in awe of his hands in my hair that I think I would have fallen down if I hadn’t already been in his bed.”

Emma whistled softly. “You were in his bed? How did that happen?”

“Because I’m so ignorant when it comes to dating and men that I got myself into his bed half-naked without even
thinking
about the fact it could turn sexual. What else am I going to do? Hop into the shower with him by accident?”

Astrid was laughing openly now. “If you get in the shower with him, there’s no way I’m going to believe it’s by accident.”

“It’s not funny!” Clare sat back and folded her arms against her chest. Her breasts felt heavy against her arms, and she could almost feel Griffin’s chest against them. “Emma was right. I’m in no shape for intimacy with a man. Some women are supposed to be celibate, and apparently, I’m one of them.”

“If you were,” Astrid said cheerfully. “It wouldn’t have felt so incredible, now would it?”

“It felt too incredible. I can’t be trusted.” Clare groaned. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.” She searched the faces of her friends for answers she didn’t have. “Would I really have had sex with him? I mean, I don’t even know him. He’s an outsider. He’ll be leaving soon. He’s everything that’s wrong.”

“And yet he’s completely tempting.” Emma drummed her fingers on the table, chewing her lower lip as she always did when she was in the middle of thought. Her white cotton blouse was soft, making her look even more fragile than she already did. “Maybe he should move out. I’m not sure that his staying there is a smart idea. Things could happen because of the proximity, not necessarily because you’ve thought it out and decided you were willing to take the risk of the fallout.”

Astrid raised her brows at Emma. “You think she should kick him out?”

“No!” Clare’s panicked response came out before she could stop it, and she saw the knowing looks from her friends at her intense reaction. “Oh, God. I’m already too dependent on him. I do have to make him move out, don’t I? Or I’m going to jump him while he’s sleeping.”

“Oh, no.” Astrid gave her a contemplative look, absently fingering the double heart necklace she was wearing. “You aren’t just attracted to him. You actually like him.”

“Yes, you do,” Emma agreed with a grimace. “I thought sex would put you over the edge and make you get emotionally involved. But all it took was one kiss, and you already like him?”

“Well, yes, but it was a really good kiss.” Oh, Clare didn’t like how that made her sound a little too harlot-like. “Plus, he’s a good man,” she added hastily, as she brushed the cupcake crumbs off the table. Had she really scarfed an entire day old cupcake in two bites? Yes, she had. It was official. She’d lost her capacity to cope.

“He might be a good man, but he has major baggage with an ex-wife, and he lives in Boston,” Emma said gently.

“I know, but—”

“It nearly wrecked you when Ed died,” Emma said. “Don’t get emotionally invested in a man who’s guaranteed to leave you. If you’re going to like a guy, at least pick one that has a chance of working out.”

“You know, Clare,” Astrid said. “I still believe you need to start dating again, and get some action, but I agree with Emma.” She looked at Clare with concern. “Your heart is too big, and you’ve already opened it to Griffin. You can’t sleep with him. You have to let him go.”

“You’re right.” Clare bit her lip, trying not to think about that amazing kiss. “I know. You’re right.” She made a face. “But I really, really liked kissing him.”

“Liked kissing who?” Ophelia asked as she walked up, carrying several plates of food from the deli. A personal delivery from the store owner meant one thing: that Ophelia was about to get personally involved, unless Clare could deflect her.

“Ed,” Clare said quickly as Ophelia gave Astrid a warmed croissant and an orange. “My late husband. We were reminiscing about how he won me over.”

Ophelia waggled a finger at her. “Now, now, missy, don’t try to lie to me.”

“I’m not. I—”

“I may have been married for fifty-three years, but I know a good looking and good-hearted man when I see one, and that Griffin Friesé is all that.” Ophelia set another cupcake down in front of Clare, giving her a knowing nod that made Clare realize Ophelia had seen her scarf the cupcake and concluded she needed another one. “It’s natural and right that Griffin would look at you the way he does, and what girl with a beating heart would be able to resist those smoldering looks he dishes your way?”

“He ‘smolders’ at me?” Clare grinned. Okay, if she wasn’t going to convince Ophelia that she’d been talking about Ed, she might as well abandon the pretense and enjoy dishing about Griffin. Seriously. It wasn’t every day someone told her a man like Griffin Friesé was giving her dark, lusty looks. “Really?”

“Oh, yes,” Astrid said.

“’Fraid so,” Emma added. “Are you going to eat that?” She pointed at the cupcake on Clare’s plate. “Because if you’re not, I’m going to, seeing as how you ate mine.”

Clare looked at the cupcake and saw that the frosting definitely looked a little bit crustier than it should. “These are all from yesterday.” She frowned at Ophelia. “You’re supposed to throw away the old ones. You know it’s against my rules to serve old ones.”

“Well, we didn’t get any new ones today because our cupcake baker didn’t come through. Live with it.”

Guilt twinged through Clare. She hated letting people down, and she was religious about delivering to Wright’s. There were people in town who’d had one of her cupcakes every day for the last five years for their afternoon sugar high. “I had work.”

“Oh, I’m teasing, girl.” Ophelia waved her off. “Day-old cupcakes don’t bother me, and they can still help the spirit revive.” Ophelia rested her palm on the table, balancing the pot of coffee on her hip, her hazel eyes focusing on Clare. “Now, listen to me, Clare. Norm and I have been watching you for the last fifteen years...well, we’ve been watching you for the last thirty-three, but it’s those later ones that matter right now.”

Clare glanced across the room and saw the ancient owner of Wright’s studying them beneath the rim of his red hat. Always watching. Always vigilant. She smiled at him, and he gave her a nod.

“We’ve been waiting for the light to return to your eyes,” Ophelia said, drawing Clare’s attention back to her, “and we’re tickled pink to see that it’s come back.”

Clare was surprised. Had her light been out for so long? Twelve hours ago, she would have denied it, but after her response to Griffin last night, she had no defense. Last night he’d brought her to life in a way she hadn’t felt in a very, very long time. Maybe even fifteen years? Maybe longer? Oh, God, she hoped not.