No Holding Back (12 page)

But before seriousness could get a foothold on their conversation, Joe
’s head appeared in the doorway again.

“You look really nice, Chris!”

All patience aside, Wade took one hand and palmed the side of Joe’s face and shoved it permanently from the doorway.

“Don
’t you have some aliens to kill?!”

“Fuck me, man…damn…”
came Joe’s disappointed voice.

Chris tried
to hide a snicker, but killed it when Wade’s serious expression bore into her. She couldn’t help but be reminded about how much she felt like a kid preparing to be lectured by a parent.

Wade
’s face burned and his skin was on fire from the moment he walked past her on the bus. He tried to forget about the perfume that rose from her skin, but it was eating him alive. He never thought for a moment that the baggy jeans she wore hid from him legs that went all the way up. He shied away from her gaze as best he could, hoping she wouldn’t notice him studying her. He rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath trying to play it cool, but mostly, trying to erase her shapely features from his mind.

For a moment, she noticed hi
m as he looked at her awkwardly, almost as if he forgot how to speak, but his first order of business caught her unaware.

“I take it was money well spent
?”

“Oh yeah! Uhm…” she
began, but then began to dive into her pockets. “I still have money left-.”

But Wade held
out his hand to stop her. “Keep it. There’s more where that came from.”

His demeanor shifted again and Chris never once knew of a time where Wade didn
’t know what to say. Without a doubt, his stare was more penetrating than any other time she could recall and without warning, her stomach lurched and her mouth became dry.

But little did Chris know, that
Wade was just as terrified hoping this conversation would go smoothly.

“Look -
uhm… If it’s alright with you…you should probably be careful about how you dress from now on.”

“Sure,” s
he nodded.

“N-Not that I care! It
’s just that-.”

“
It’s alright, Wade. I still prefer my hoodie. This doesn’t change anything. I’m still Chris Rebman.”

For a moment, Wade stood there feeling the tension lift considerably and the fact that he didn
’t have to do most of the talking took a load off his chest, particularly on a subject that he felt uncomfortable with in the first place.

“R
ight. Well, it got me thinking.”

“About what
?”

“
About hiding you. We may not be able to do it forever, but with these clothes, maybe we won’t have to.”

Ch
ris’ eyebrows came together. “Whaddya mean?”

“Joe has three sisters back home. No one
’ll be the wiser if we pass you off as his family – just in case someone spots you. It’ll be the perfect cover story.”

Instantly, Chris
’ heart jumped at the opportunity to wear normal clothes in public, but she kept her eagerness in check while in front of Wade.

“Now,
I’ll just have to get Joe to buy into it,” he said as he glanced down the hall.

Chris giggled but she immediately covered up her smile as if she
’d made a blunder, but Wade wasn’t upset. In fact, he smiled back at her. Chris felt the heat rising again on her skin.

“If you join us
again up front, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to show less skin or I’ll have a helluvua time keepin’ Joe off ‘a ya.”

Chris
smirked, stifling another laugh. “Actually, if it’s okay, I think I’m gonna crash. I’ve been shopping all day and these heels are killing me.”

“Wow, you even
sound
like a girl now.”

Chris dropped her shoulders slightly and her
head fell slightly to the side. "Oh shut up."

“I
’m glad you had a good time,” Wade smiled once more just before he closed the partition and left her alone.

But Wade only told Chris the half-truth. He needed to get the hell out of there before
he
sprung on her.

As Wade walked back over to his spot on the couch
, he found everyone as he had left them; Joe lost in Halo, Os busying himself with his guitar, and Pete driving them at a mind-numbing rate towards their next destination.

After
he propped his legs up, he went back to his music and continued to jot down more lyrics while listening to his tunes. But as Pete’s driving sent them past one endless mile after another, Wade found his stone-cold concentration start to crumble. He tried to find a new rhythm in his head, but instead, he found Chris’ shapely figure interfering with his thoughts. Several times, he caught himself staring off into space thinking about her long legs and slender frame – not to mention her shiny, black hair which fell so easily over her shoulders. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through her hair.

Focus
, he commanded himself.

Wade punished his thoughts and caught himself smiling again. Only this time, he wasn
’t the only one.

He looke
d over at Os and found his younger brother staring at him disapprovingly. Wade mentally kicked himself in the nuts, especially after Os caught him, but when he wouldn’t stop staring at him, he got angry very quickly.

“What?!” he spat.

Os only shook his head and said nothing as he went back to strumming his guitar.

Over the next several weeks, Chris only emerged from her bedroom in her baggy clothes. Like before, Wade was left in utter disbelief at her ability to shift her mannerisms from a girl to a guy so quickly. He began to wonder how many other talents she possessed.

Still, he asked little questions w
hen at every venue in which they appeared, turned out to be better than the last. Such much so, that Wade no longer spotted signs sporting Hess’ comeback. Wade was also relieved when the fire about their former drummer was just starting to die down. More than anything, he wanted to play their music in peace, but instead, the media honed in on their success. It was no secret to anyone who knew music that Heretic was growing in fame and popularity. And that, to Wade, was all thanks to one person.

Soon, Wade began to feel more like himself again. He was relieved as the stress of their dark pa
st finally began shrivel and die out. Whenever they had free time, while everyone else was doing laundry, he’d find the nearest gym and pounds weights until he came back to the bus in a sweaty mess and not wake up until hours later.

But getting back into shape wasn
’t the only reason why Wade went to the gym. Of course he wanted Heretic to continue on the path to success, but the more Wade saw Chris, the more he imagined her in clothes that revealed a shapely figure. He did what he could to beat the thoughts from his mind and the only way he knew how was to wear himself out. So he abused himself for hours in the gym, and afterwards went straight to his room, too tired to think about Chris being a girl, or anything else for that matter.

One evening, as their tech crew set up for that night
’s show in New Orleans, Chris sat at a picnic table with Joe far from the rest of the commotion and away from prying eyes while he tugged and twirled his dreads. Yet again, she saw Wade on the phone talking endlessly with Mike.

Wade
looked over at them several times to ensure that they were always within eyesight, hovering over her with his protective gaze, as if at any moment someone would come up attack Chris outright. But on rare occasions like this, Joe acted as Wade’s second-in-command.

Bored, Chris watched as the numerous techies
went back and forth to the semi-truck to unload huge boxes of Heretic’s equipment. For months on end, she watched as they expertly maneuvered thousands of pounds of equipment up and down precarious ramps. She grew kind of bummed when she didn’t even know their names - the three remaining members of Heretic (and Pete) were her only company. Then, she sighed a little too loudly.

“
Why the sad face, chica?” Joe mocked her expression and pouted his lower lip.

“
Nothing. I guess I just wish I could help. I feel kinda useless just sitting here,” she said, gesturing to the crew.

Joe looked back briefly at the busy worker bees and waved off Chris
’ comment.

“
Naw, trust me. They know what they’re doin’. You’d only be in the way.”

Chris shrugged and began to pick at a splinter at the t
able while Joe continued to mess with his thick dreadlocks. With Wade just out of earshot, Chris could barely make out a slight ‘jingle’ sound coming from his pocket. Unable to quell the nagging question that began to surface again, she turned to Joe for answers.

“Hey
, Joe?”

“Sup?”

“Why does Wade always have his hand in his pocket?” 

Squinting through the afternoon sun,
Joe looked over at his friend and saw the same thing. Chris always thought he was fiddling with something that he kept hidden deep within his jeans, but she didn’t know what it was. She never once saw him take anything out of them.

“I
‘unno. Maybe he’s jackin’ off.”

Chris
’ shoulders dropped in response and frowned at Joe.

“How much weed have you had today
?” she asked him sarcastically. 

Joe
laughed and shrugged his shoulders while he shook his head.

“It sounds like a coin,
” Chris said to herself.

“You could
ask Os!  He might know!”

Chris glared at Joe until he was the first to blink.

“Jesus, okay! Okay!  I’ll stop - just don’t stare at me like that anymore. I might melt or somethin’. Why don’t you just go ask him? He knows everything anyway.”

“
Yeah, why is that?”

“
Why is ‘what’?” Joe asked stupidly, but Chris took a deep breath to avoid getting frustrated.

“
Why
does he know everything?” When Wade glanced back at them, she lowered her voice. "Somehow I just don’t picture him being here."

“
You ‘n me both, sista. Os said he got like…valedictorian or some shit in high school. Had a full ride to college and everything, but after a few years, we all got together ‘n…Well! The rest is history!”

Joe grinned widely
and opened his arms in an exaggerated gesture, but before Chris could ask any more questions, he went on.

“
You’d also never guess he was clauster…clusto-o…uhm…” Joe scratched his head trying to come up with the word.

“
Claustrophobic?” Chris finished.

“
Yeah! Yeah, that’s it! That’s why you’ll never see his ass in a crowd,” Joe explained. “He’s afraid of heights, too.”

“
Wade is afraid of heights?” Chris repeated to herself, but Joe heard her.

“
Oh yeah. Pisses me off that I have to ride coasters alone, man. He’s scared shitless and Os is a fat ass so he’s not allowed on most rides.”

Chris stifled a laugh and pictured
the odd trio as best she could in a place like Disneyland.

“
Hey, I gotta question!”

“
Yeah?”

“
Don’t you like…hate your tits? Aren’t they always in the way ‘n shit when you’re playin’ drums?” he asked innocently. But Chris felt her face burn with embarrassment.

“
Oh my god!” she said disgustedly and promptly smacked him upside the head.

“
OUUUCH!” he howled.

The recent commotion caught Wade
’s attention and it earned them both a death stare. They quieted down and Chris buried her head into her arms on the table.

But Chris wasn
’t upset at Joe - on the contrary. They became best friends in a matter of days just after she joined Heretic. They’d argue over the best bands and songs of all time and they even played the XBox until the early hours, stopping only when Wade would say, “Alright kids. Time to get some sleep.”

What bothered Chris the most was Os
’ attitude toward her.  Ever since that run-in with the whole tampon incident ages ago, Os never looked at Chris and even went so far as to pretend she wasn’t there. They’d been playing together for months, and Os barely said an entire sentence to her in that time frame. Joe told her not to worry about it while Wade’s answer wasn’t far off with, “Just ignore him.”

She went out of her way to be nice, kept things picked up after herself and certainly didn
’t leave any more feminine products within reach, especially after Os’ tantrum. It took Chris weeks to get over that one. Even though Os never really saw her completely naked, it was more drama than what Chris wanted. All she cared about, all she ever dreamed of, was just to play her drums. The fact that it came with fame and popularity was just an added bonus for her.

But right now, all Chris
could think about was their next show in Florida. She’d never been to Florida before. She smiled when she thought of palm trees, beaches, and even crocodiles.  Maybe one of them might eat Os for her.