No Deal Breakers (11 page)

"Nothing, sorry, I was just thinking, that’s
all."

"Sweetheart, you’re crying, what’s wrong?"
She was? She put a hand to her cheek, she was. She hadn’t even
noticed.

"I don’t deserve you. I can’t give you those
things. I want to, I really do, I just…I can’t," she stared down at
the tears soaking her hands. She was sobbing now, big ugly, breathy
sobs.

Brian moved to her side and squatted next to
her, but still didn’t touch her, and that space he offered made her
cry harder and the tears stream faster down her cheeks. Without her
having to say a word he always seemed to know exactly what she
needed.

"Sweetheart, I don’t like seeing you like
this, it breaks my heart. I really want to pull you into my arms
and hold you until you’re all cried out, but I know you wouldn’t
like that. What can I do for you? How can I reassure you? Tell me,
and I’ll do it, I don’t expect you to give me those things, maybe
one day you can, but—"

"Stop it! I won’t, don’t you see that? Not
today, not ever, I’m broken, I’m useless, I’m unworthy of you. Just
stop being so perfect already!" She was yelling now, and feeling
worse than ever, she wasn’t mad at him, she was mad at her mom for
dying, her dad for setting her up for ruin, Jack for making sure
she was broken beyond repair and God for not saving her. And she
was mad that she couldn’t bring herself to fall into his lap and
allow him to sooth her as much as she wanted him to.

"I am far from perfect, and I’ll never
pretend to be. You are more than worthy, and if I have to spend the
rest of my life proving that to you, I will, without hesitation. I
want you to see your worth, from this day forward my life’s mission
will be to get you to see how wonderful you are." Why did he have
to say all the right things at the right times?

He was a hopeless romantic, she could see it
in the way he studied her and meant every word he said with the
deepest conviction. Most women would kill for a man like him, so
open and in touch with their feelings, and here she was wishing he
were more aloof.

He truly was wasted on her, but he was making
it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere, so for now she would just
do her best to cope with it all and try to get to know him, try to
be friends at the very least. He wasn’t expecting a relationship
right away, she would just focus on the present, do what she could,
and let the future worry about itself. He was right, it had only
been one week, and they had plenty more to go.

The tears were starting to slow, and the sobs
had left her body, she took a deep breath, she could do this.
"Sorry I broke down, this is just a lot. I’m going to try to go
with the flow and stop fighting you, I want this to work, too. But
I’ll warn you, you have your work cut out for you," she tried to
offer him her brightest smile.

"Never apologize for being honest with me, I
need to know how you’re feeling and what’s going on with you.
Mission accepted, it’s in my job description to stand by you no
matter what." He stood, and offered her a wink and a dimpled smile
and began clearing the table.

"You really are a hopeless romantic, aren’t
you?"

"Guilty." She let a small giggle escape.

"Thanks for putting up with my crazy
emotions."

"My pleasure, if you ever want to talk…"

"I know, and thanks. Right now I’m going to
go wash my face and read for a little while." He just smiled and
finished loading the dishwasher and she made her way upstairs
feeling surprisingly calm and relieved.

Brian sank down onto the couch and raked his
hands over his face, watching Aria break down was one of the
hardest things he’d ever experienced. It took more strength than he
would have ever thought to not break down and cry himself. He’d
never felt the urgency to hit something-someone-more fiercely than
at that moment, he wanted to find out who had done this to her and
make him pay. He sighed, he knew that wasn’t the way to handle it,
he just couldn’t understand what would make anyone hurt this
amazing woman so deeply that she couldn’t stand to be touched, or
even think herself worthy of common decency and respect. Watching
her flinch and stiffen every time he got too close tore a hole
right through him every single time.

They had gotten to know each other better
over the last week, and he couldn’t have dreamed up someone better.
She had a wonderful sense of humor, the most gorgeous laugh he’d
ever heard, she was a fast learner, the most amazing cook,
thoughtful, caring, considerate, and so organized. He wished she
could see herself in the same light he did.

She was also scared, wounded, guarded, and
lacking any semblance of self-confidence. He sighed, he had no idea
how to help heal her, he’d been praying every day that God would
heal her heart, and use him to help in that. He knew it had only
been a week, but after this morning, his patience was wearing thin.
He knew it was stereotypically a masculine trait to want to fix
every problem that came about, but he couldn’t help it. How could
anyone see someone so down and hurt and not try to fix them? The
poor woman was even terrified to speak most of the time, it was
like she caught herself speaking and cringed, waiting for him to
reprimand her for it.

He prayed for the man that had hurt her, that
God would open his eyes to the damage he had done, he also prayed
for every father to teach their sons to respect women, and just
people in general, as his father had. He then said a prayer of
thanksgiving that his father had taught him to respect women, and
prayed that he would be able to do the same with his own
children.

That was it! His father, he could give him
some advice on dealing with this. He made his way out to the barn
so that Aria wouldn’t be able to hear him, greeting Thunder and Jax
on the way.

"Hello?" He was relieved that his dad was the
one to answer, he loved his mom, but wasn’t in the mood for her
small talk.

"Dad, I need your advice."

"Are you okay, Son, you sound upset."

"I am. I don’t know what to do about
Aria."

"Well, start by telling me what the problem
is."

"I don’t know, I think she’s been through
something…something horrible. She has a lot of trust issues, she’s
really leery of men, I thought at first it may be people in
general, but she does great with Anna and her kids, except for
Christian, but he’s close enough to being a man, she has no
reservations being left alone with Helen. Which makes me think it
was a man that hurt her, but she won’t talk about it. She keeps
saying things like she’s not worthy of me, and she keeps insisting
on getting a job or acting like a maid so she can earn her keep.
I’m trying Dad, I am, I just don’t know what else to do to make her
comfortable with me, I hate that she’s so scared and nervous all
the time."

"First off, breathe. Now, remember, it’s only
been about a week, these things take time to develop, how long did
you know her before you married her?" Brian blanched, he didn’t
want to admit to his father how foolish he’d been, but he couldn’t
lie to him either.

"A few hours." To his shock, his dad
laughed.

"You? The scheduler, the man that has a plan
for everything and everyone in his life? I was flabbergasted when
you said you eloped, but your mother and I figured it was probably
someone you knew before, or at least that you met on your first
day, not after hours of meeting! I’m proud of you."

"What? I marry a complete and total stranger
and you’re proud of me?"

"I am. It means that for once in your life
you were thinking with your heart and not your head, and for that,
I am mighty proud. What made you decide to marry her?"

"I don’t really know, it was last Friday, the
day I was supposed to be marrying Kara, I was sitting in a
restaurant feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t getting the life
that I wanted and then she walked in. I can’t quite explain it, she
walked in and my heart tried to jump out of my chest, it was like
time stood still and I could see us together fifty years from now
just as happy as you and Mom, I shook it off, or tried to. I
thought it was just because of how lousy I was feeling, and then
she sat down at my table and started talking to me, and it just
felt natural to ask her to be my wife. I know that sounds crazy and
nothing like the type-a-ivy-league-educated-lawyer that I am, but
that’s how it happened."

"Doesn’t sound crazy at all, it sounds like
love at first sight, now before you interrupt, I know you don’t
believe in it, but that’s what it sounds like to me. My advice is
to just keep on loving her. Respect her boundaries, whatever they
are, don’t push her, just be there for her, show her you’re not
like the rest, let her love you on her own time, and pray. The key
to a healthy marriage is prayer, just keep it wrapped up in prayer
and you’ll make it through. It may not be easy, but if it’s real
love, and Son, it sounds like it is, then it’ll take work, but the
work is sometimes the best part, you can’t appreciate the fruits of
your labor without the labor. Time, patience, love, and most
importantly, God and I have no doubts that you’ll succeed."

"I can’t love her yet, though, can I? It’s
only been a week."

"There you go again, letting your brain do
all the thinking. Let your heart lead you once in a while,
Bri."

"Thanks, Dad, and please keep the details to
Mom at a minimum, I don’t want her to worry," his call waiting
beeped, "hey, I have a call coming in. Thanks, love you."

"Anytime, Son, love you too." Brian clicked
over to the other line.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Brian, it’s Anna, are we still on for
this morning?" He had almost forgotten the surprise he had planned
for Aria and asked Anna to aid him in.

"Yeah, anytime now should be fine,
thanks."

"No problem, any excuse to get out of the
house with another adult," she chuckled. He usually thought it was
awful when people wanted to escape their kids all the time, but he
knew that Anna would start missing them before she even made it
into town, her family was her life.

"I recruited Chris and James to be your
muscle, and I think Sam wants to tag along, too, if you’re okay
with that? She didn’t have school today." Her sixteen and fourteen
year old sons were just what he needed to be able to pull this off
in the time frame he had.

"Perfect, are Sam and Christian dating now? I
see them together a lot."

"No, well, they insist they aren’t, I think
they really are just good friends. Will three hours be enough time?
I don’t know that I can stretch it out much longer than that."

"With the extra hands that should be
perfect."

"Alright, I’m going to call your wife
now."

They hung up and Brian decided to spend a
little more time with Thunder, and in prayer before heading back
in. His dad had given him a lot to consider, did he love Aria
already? He certainly cared for her, but was it love, already?

"Hey, Anna called and asked if I wanted to go
grocery shopping with her, she said her parents wanted to come
spend the day with the kids so it’ll just be the two of us, I told
her I would, I hope that’s okay." Her voice grew small at the end,
and her gaze dropped to the floor. He had just come back in from
the barn, Aria met him in the kitchen.

"Of course that’s okay, I’m your husband, not
your keeper, you don’t have to ask permission to leave, this isn’t
prison." He tried to sound light and humorous, but felt anything
but, he again felt like finding out who made her this way.

"I know, I’m just not used to this, I’ll get
there. Oh, here she is."

"Alright, have fun, did you remember to take
your cards, in case you find something you want?" Her cheeks flamed
red.

"I don’t want to spend—"

"Here, take this one, and it’s ours, if you
want something: get it." He handed her his debit card so she
wouldn’t have to go back upstairs to get hers. She took it with an
eye roll and ran out to meet Anna.

When was she going to realize that he wanted
to share everything he had with her? Time. It would just take time.
Speaking of time, he headed upstairs to get started on her
surprise, and fifteen minutes later his help arrived.

"I can’t decide if this is adorable and
romantic or bigoted and disrespectful." They were standing in the
finished room admiring their handiwork.

"What are you talking about, Sam?" The girl
was truly an enigma, he couldn’t tell if she loved her time with
Anna, or resented the lifestyle they chose to live.

"It’s a weird gift, I mean, I know Anna would
love something like this, but my moms would pitch a fit…you are
giving her an entire room just for ‘women’s work’ that doesn’t
sound at all chauvinistic to you?"

He hadn’t thought of it like that, he didn’t
expect Aria to be a housewife toiling away at the cooking and
cleaning all day, even though that’s what she had done all week. He
remembered that she said she enjoyed sewing and wanted to try a big
quilt, he’d spent the entire week faking meetings with clients in
town to get all of the supplies rounded up for her new craft room.
He hoped the space would give her something else to do other than
cook, clean, and organize everything in sight. Now, thanks to the
sixteen-year-old feminist standing next to him, he was
reconsidering.

"Sam, he’s just trying to give her something
special, you don’t have to make everything into a war on women, I’m
sure if Mrs. Harris had expressed an interest in photography this
room would be a dark room right now, or if she liked to paint, we’d
have spent the afternoon hauling in easels and watercolors."
Christian had come to his defense, the kid had a point and that
helped to ease his mind, he wasn’t trying to keep her down, he
wanted to lift her up, he hoped that this room would give her
something to take pride in, and maybe help her to see she had
skills and value.