Seeing Brian’s car turn into the drive she drew back from the window before he could see her. They slept in separate
rooms now and only communicated when they had to. He knew the truth and so did she; it was a secret that bound them together, so tightly that she had no idea how she managed to breathe in its grasp.
As she walked across the room she could feel the ghosts parting, past residents of the house always lurking, perhaps they were trying to shame her. Could they hear the voices inside her head? Maybe the voices were theirs. Did they listen when she spoke to Ottilie? Did they scoff at the things she told her in rambling or frenzied whispers? She wouldn’t look at Ottilie now, she couldn’t; her nerves were jumping, her eyes were waterfalls of tears. She knew Ottilie’s head was bowed. Was she waiting for her mother’s touch, or preparing to shrink from it? Her limbs were tiny, too small for her age, and white; precious few rays of sun found their way on to this wretched child. She almost never went out, not even into the garden to play with the toys her grateful daddy had bought her.
He took her out though, once in a while, but they never went far, or for long.
‘He’s home,’ she said, passing the child and going through to the kitchen. He’d want his usual whisky and soda and in this Erica was happy to please him, provided he brought what pleased her. Sometimes he’d put his little girl on his knee and tell her about his day, the children he taught at the school where he was the deputy head, those who’d excelled at drawing or sums or spelling; and those who’d had to be scolded for not trying their best.
They were aged five up to eleven. Jonathan would be seven by now, if he’d lived.
They didn’t have any photos of him around the house. In many ways it was as though he’d never existed, except his memory lingered around her conscience and tormented her soul with the same testing presence she felt from Ottilie.
Ottilie trailed her into the kitchen. Erica wished she would go away. She felt like a nemesis.
Get away from me. Get away from me. GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FILTHY LITTLE BITCH
.
Except Erica didn’t care if Ottilie saw what her father brought home and gave to her mother. She wouldn’t know what it was, and even if she did she wouldn’t understand.
He wouldn’t forget, he couldn’t, he knew what would happen if he did.
It was her only power, her only escape.
As the door opened she tried not to look at him, but her desperation was too great. Seeing it, he drew an envelope from his pocket and tossed it on the table, his eyes full of contempt. Then, turning to Ottilie, he opened his arms for her to come to him.
Ottilie stayed where she was, her faithful bear pressed to her mouth. Her eyes were round and frightened; her tiny frame seemed as though it might be blown away in a draught. Had Erica not been swimming in relief she might have smirked in triumph to see that Ottilie was heeding her mother’s frantic advice, doing as she said like a good little girl.
Don’t go to Daddy. Don’t go to Daddy. STAY AWAY FROM DADDY YOU FILTHY LITTLE BITCH
.
Brian would be furious if he knew.
But why would she want to go to Daddy?
‘Come here,’ he said shortly to Ottilie.
Ottilie looked up at her mother, waiting to be told what to do, but Erica only pushed her out of the way as she went past, eager to get to her room. Ottilie turned to watch her, then feeling her father’s arms lifting her she went limp and drew her faithful bear back to her face.
Chapter Three
‘OK, ALEX, PET
, brace yourself.’
Alex turned so swiftly from the whiteboard where she was writing up her movements for the day that she almost collided with Tommy Burgess, her team leader.
‘Hey, what’s making you so nervy?’ he laughed, straightening her up.
Rolling her eyes, Alex said, ‘I was miles away and didn’t hear you coming.’ She was very fond of Tommy with his Geordie accent, hippy hair and rugby player’s physique, not least because he was such an effective buffer between her and Wendy, the department manager. There was a time when Wendy used to be reasonable, and definitely supportive, particularly over issues that attracted criticism or scrutiny from on high, or even bad press, but since her promotion a couple of years ago she’d become remote, superior, and definitely more interested in impressing the powers that be than in what was happening on the ground.
Tommy was grimacing as he read what she’d written on the board.
Collecting Daniel Crowe from carers, Westleigh; returning to TFE
. (TFE was Temple Fields Estate.) ‘Rita was saying this morning that she’d rather take a stroll through the Gaza Strip than a drive through Temple Fields,’ he commented.
Alex’s eyebrows rose. No one ever wanted to go to the estate, but her colleague, Rita, was especially unnerved by it, mainly because everything scared poor Rita. Much like Ben, she was in the wrong job. ‘Oh, it’s not that bad,’ Alex sighed, ‘or come to think of it, it probably is. Anyway, I’m definitely not looking forward to dealing with Laura
Crowe again. They’ve only gone and released her with all charges dismissed. How did that happen, I’d like to know?’
‘They maybe got her off on some kind of technicality, or she’s done herself a deal more likely, but all we need to bother about is the boy. Have you found out yet how the weekend went at his placement?’
Waving out as Tamsin Green, another of her colleagues, hurried out of the door shouting cheerio to the world at large, Alex said, ‘I’m taking the view that no news is good news.’
‘Great policy.’ Then abruptly, ‘Amina, what are you doing back here?’ Amina was Kenyan by birth, and the youngest and newest member of the team.
‘Forgot to take the file,’ she cried, rushing to her desk in a fluster. ‘That would really work, wouldn’t it, standing up in court with no paperwork? Alex, did you know you’ve got a flat tyre?’
‘You’re kidding!’ Alex exclaimed. ‘I don’t have time to mess about with bloody tyres.’
‘Speak nicely to Gus,’ Pete Minchin called out, referring to the mechanic who had a workshop at the back of the business park where their hub was located. Pete was their expert in disabled kids and one of only four males, the others being Victor, an amateur wrestler who came in very handy when a bit of muscle was required, and Ben, of course, who didn’t go in for flexing any muscle at all.
‘OK, I’m gone,’ Amina announced, heading back to the door. ‘Wish me luck everyone, cos we definitely don’t want some idiot judge sending Harvey Critchley back to his scumbag uncle.’
Raising a hand to signal his support, Tommy followed Alex to the break-out area where a couple of health visitors from the offices downstairs were making tea and she was peering through the window at her car. ‘It’s not mine with a flat,’ she announced with a sigh of relief. ‘Amina must have spotted someone else’s, same colour, same make. Anyway, rewinding, what am I supposed to be bracing myself for, and if you’re going to get me to write up someone else’s reports ...’
‘No, no, not that,’ he jumped in quickly. ‘Well, we are behind with Sally’s assessments now she’s off sick ...’
‘Just don’t go there, please, you know it’s impossible to read her writing, and besides I’ve got a backlog of my own that I never have time to catch up on.’
‘But you’ll find it, I know,’ he assured her with his most charming smile. ‘Maybe later, when you get back from a little visit to one of the Crowes’ neighbours.’
Alex immediately drew back. ‘No, Tommy, no, no, no,’ she declared, holding up her hands like a cross. ‘You cannot dump the Prince family on me.’
He looked pained. ‘You know I wouldn’t if I could help it.’
‘They’re Victor’s,’ she reminded him.
‘He broke his shoulder at the weekend.’
‘You’re kidding me.’
‘Afraid not, so that means with Christie and Jane both on leave, we’re only sixteen strong at the moment instead of our usual twenty ... Will someone get that phone! So I’m afraid, with everyone else up to their eyes ...’
‘And you think I’m not?’
‘I know you are, but someone has to do it.’
‘But why me? I’ve already got the flaming Crowes.’
He was looking as regretful as he could.
Her eyes narrowed as she suddenly understood. ‘Wendy’s shoving it my way, isn’t she?’ she demanded. ‘Well you can tell her from me ...’
‘Ssh,’ he cautioned. ‘She’s in her office.’
‘Then I’ll tell her myself.’
Yanking her back, he said, ‘Best not do it right now, the chief’s in there with her and you won’t do yourself any favours if you start laying into her in front of him.’
She appeared amazed. ‘I don’t lay into people,’ she protested.
He laughed. ‘No, right, and especially not Wendy.’
Conceding the point, she said, ‘OK, I might make the odd exception in her case, but only because she always does this to me. Everything no one else wants always ends up on my desk.’
‘You could take it as a compliment,’ he suggested, ‘because she knows that whatever it is, you can handle it.’
Seeing right through him, she said, ‘Do you know you’re wasted here? You should be negotiating peace in the Middle East or out there charming kids off the street.’
‘Given the choice I’m happy where I am,’ he retorted drolly. ‘So let me bring you up to speed on the Princes ...’
‘I haven’t said I’ll do it yet.’
‘But we both know you will. So, we’ve had a call from the family GP to say he’s worried about Polly Prince – again.’
‘Oh, you mean the delightful fourteen-year-old daughter who tried to burn down Shirley Little’s house the last time she was taken into care?’
He winced. ‘That would be her, and I guess it wouldn’t be a good idea to try and place her with Shirley again. But that’s not your problem ...’
‘No, mine is getting off that estate alive when her thug of a brother realises I’ve come for his sister.’
‘You’re only going in for a chat,’ he reminded her. ‘Nothing heavy this time around, no taking her in. We just need you to assess the situation.’
‘And who’s coming with me, because I definitely can’t go alone?’
‘Indeed you cannot, which is why I’m not recommending you go when you drop off Daniel later. We can’t spare anyone to accompany you today, so it’ll have to wait until ...’
‘Bloody anonymous callers, they really hack me off,’ Ben complained irritably as he sauntered past on his way to make tea. ‘That’s the second time someone’s rung in about some kid on North Hill.’
‘What about the kid?’ Tommy asked.
‘That’s just it, nothing. All this woman will say is that we ought to go over there and check it out. Not why we should, or what she thinks the problem is, she just wants to waste our time.’
‘Have you made all the usual calls?’ Tommy demanded.
Looking offended, Ben said, ‘Of course, and I’m telling you, there’s not a problem. The mother’s a music teacher, for God’s sake, and the father’s the deputy head at Kesterly
Rise. According to our friends in the south hub, he’s very highly thought of, and I found him perfectly polite and helpful when I spoke to him.’
Tommy was frowning. ‘Did he have any idea who the anonymous caller might be?’
‘Yes, apparently she’s a bit of a nutter who tried to cause trouble for him at his previous school. He was pretty upset, actually, because he thought he’d managed to shake her off by moving here, but it seems she’s managed to track him down again.’
As Alex moved away, back to her desk, Tommy said to Ben, ‘Well, just make sure you do everything by the book, you can never be too careful,’ and waving him on he went after Alex. ‘Polly Prince,’ he said, returning her to the subject. ‘I’d go with you myself if I wasn’t going to be on this training course for the next two weeks.’
Alex looked stricken. ‘You’re away for two whole weeks?’ she protested.
‘Tell me that’s not true!’ Saffy Dyer piped up from the next desk. ‘Tommy, you can’t abandon us for that long, we’ll be in chaos by the time you get back. Or jail, if Wendy’s planning on running things.’
‘Ssh,’ Tommy warned, glancing over his shoulder as several others laughed. ‘She’s in there,’ he told Saffy, keeping his voice down.
‘Let it rip,’ Alex advised Saffy. ‘Anyway, it’s me she’s always got it in for, and this proves it, landing me with the Princes.’
‘Oh, bad luck,’ Saffy sympathised.
‘Sort someone out to go with you,’ Tommy told her.
‘Hang on, before you go, has the doctor told the family that he’s been in touch with us again?’ Alex asked.
‘He knows the procedure, so I’m sure he has.’
‘Great,’ Alex muttered. ‘So when I drive on to the estate to take Daniel home, if any of the Princes see me they’re going to think I’m about to make an unannounced visit and probably rip my car to bits before I can even get out of it.’
Not denying the possibility, Tommy said, ‘The best way round that is to set-up an appointment with them before
you go to get Daniel. That way, if they do see you today, they won’t be expecting you to drop in on them.’
‘Oh, that makes me feel so much safer,’ she retorted drily. ‘So who’s up for coming with me?’ she asked, looking around, and gave a splutter of laughter as everyone ducked.
As Ben came walking back with his tea, Alex’s eyes went to Tommy.
He was smiling blandly.
‘Don’t even think it,’ she warned. ‘You sent him with me the other day ...’
‘There wasn’t anyone else,’ he murmured, pressing down on her shoulder to stop her going off like a firework.
Since Tommy was fully aware of what a liability Ben could be in certain situations, not to mention how he always managed to get out of the paperwork, Alex felt reasonably confident Tommy wouldn’t inflict him on her again, at least not for a while. ‘I have to go,’ she said, starting to pack her bag.
‘OK, don’t forget we’ve got a core meeting this afternoon for Hamish Gingell,’ Tommy reminded her as he started back to his office. ‘Ben, have you entered that call in the log, the one about the kid on North Hill?’
‘Just doing it,’ Ben shouted back impatiently.
‘Are either of Hamish’s parents going to be there?’ Alex called out before Tommy could disappear.
‘The mother, apparently. Dad’s gone AWOL again.’