Nine Rarities (14 page)

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Authors: Ray Bradbury,James Settles

BOOK: Nine Rarities
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It can't be, but it is. Tony, who died ten long years ago, when I was a freckled kid! Alive and selling popcorn again. Oh, Tony, it's good to see you. His black moustache's so waxed, so shining, his dark hair like burnt oily shavings, his dark shining happy eyes, his smiling red cheeks! He shimmers in my eyes like in a cold rain. Tony! Let me shake your hand! Gimme a bag of popcorn, senor!

 

"Click-click-click

sput-click

reeeeee-eeeeeeee—"

 

The captain didn't see you, Tony, you were hidden so well, only
I
saw you. Just a moment while I search for my nickel.

 

"Reeeeeee."

 

Whew, I'm dizzy. It's very hot. My heads spins like a leaf on a storm wind. Let me hold onto your wagon, Tony, quick, I'm shivering and I've got sharp needle head pains...

 

"Reeeeeeee."

 

I'm running a temperature. I feel as if I have a torch hung flaming in my head.

 

Hotter. Pardon me for criticizing you, Tony, but I think it's your popper turned up too high. Your face looks afraid, contorted, and your hands move so rapidly, why? Can't you shut it off? I'm hot. Everything melts. My knees sag.

 

Warmer still. He'd better turn that thing off, I can't take any more. I can't find my nickel anyhow. Please, snap it off, Tony, I'm sick. My uniform glows orange. I'll take fire!

 

Here, I'll turn it off for you, Tony.

 

You
hit
me!

 

Stop hitting me, stop clicking those knobs! It's hot, I tell you. Stop, or I'll— Tony. Where are you? Gone.

 

Where did that purple flame shoot from? That loud blast, what was it? The flame seemed to stream from my hand, out of my scout flashlight. Purple flame—eating! I smell a sharp bitter odor.

 

Like hamburger fried overlong.

 

I feel better now. Cool as winter. But— Like a fly buzzing in my ears, a voice comes, faint, far off.

 

"Halloway, damn it, Halloway, where are you?"

 

Captain! It's his voice, sizzling. I don't see you, sir!

 

"Halloway, we're on the dead sea bottom near an ancient Martian city and—oh, never mind, dammit, if you hear me, press your boyscout badge and yell!"

 

I press the badge intensely, sweating. Hey, captain!

 

"Halloway! Glory. You're
not
dead. Where are you?"

 

I stopped for popcorn, sir. I can't see you. How do I hear you?

 

"It's an echo. Let it go. If you're okay, grab the next streetcar."

 

That's very opportune. Because here comes a big red streetcar now, around the corner of the drug store.

 

"
What!
"

 

Yes, sir, and it's chock full of people. I'll climb aboard.

 

"Wait a minute! Hold on! Murder! What
kind
of people, dammit?"

 

It's the West Side gang. Sure. The whole bunch of tough kids.

 

"West side gang, hell, those are Martians, get the hell outa there! Transfer to another car—take the subway! Take the elevated!"

 

Too late. The car's stopped. I'll have to get on. The conductor looks impatient.

 

"Impatient," he says. "You'll be massacred !"

 

Oh, oh. Everybody's climbing from the streetcar, looking angry at me. Kelly and Grogan and Tompkins and the others. I guess there'll be a fight.

 

The captain's voice stabs my ears, but I don't see him anywhere:

 

"Use your r-gun, your blaster, your blaster. Hell, use your slingshot, or throw spitballs, or whatever the devil you imagine you got holstered there, but
use
it! Come on, men, about face and back!"

 

I'm outnumbered. I bet they'll gang me and give me the bumps, the bumps, the bumps. I bet they'll truss me to a maple tree, maple tree, maple tree and tickle me. I bet they'll ink-tattoo their initials on my forehead. Mother won't like this.

 

The captain's voice opens up louder, driving nearer:

 

"And Poppa ain't happy! Get outa there, Halloway!"

 

They're hitting me, sir! We're battling! "Keep it up, Halloway!"

 

I knocked one down, sir, with an uppercut. I'm knocking another down now. Here goes a third! Someone's grabbed my ankle. I'll kick him!
There!
I'm stumbling, falling! Lights in my eyes, purple ones, big purple lightning bolts sizzling the air! Three of them vanished, just like that! I think they fell down a manhole.

 

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt them bad.

 

They stole my flashlight.

 

"Get it back, Halloway! We're coming. Get your flash and use it!" That's silly. "Silly," he says. "Silly. Silly."

 

 

 

I GOT
my flashlight back, broken, no good. We're wrestling. There are so many of them, I'm weak. They're climbing all over me, hitting. It's not fair, I'm falling down, kicking, screaming!

 

"Up speed, men, full power!"

 

They're binding me up. I can't move. They're rushing me into the street-car now. Now I won't be able to go on that hike. And I planned on it so hard, too.

 

"Here we are, Halloway! Blast 'em, men! Oh, my Lord, look at the horrible faces on those creatures! Guh!"

 

Watch out, captain! They'll get you, too, and the others!
Ahh!
Somebody struck me on the back of my head. Darkness. Dark. Dark.

 

Rockabye baby on the tree-top... when the wind blows...

 

"Okay, Halloway,
any
time. Just any old time you want to come to."

 

Dark. A voice talking. Dark as a whale's insides. Ouch, my head. I'm flat on my back, I can feel rocks under me.

 

"Good morning,
dear
Mr. Halloway." That you, captain, over in that dark corner ?

 

"It ain't the president of the United States!"

 

Where is this cave?

 

"Suppose
you
tell us, you got us into this mess with your eternally blasted popcorn ! Why'd you get off the streetcar ?" Did the West Side gang truss us up like this, captain?

 

"West Side gang,
goh!
Those faces, those inhuman, weird, unsavory and horrible faces. All loose-fleshed and—gangrenous. Aliens, the whole rotting clutch of 'em."

 

What a funny way to talk.

 

"Listen, you parboiled idiot, in about an hour we're going to be fried, gutted, iced, killed, slaughtered, murdered, we will be, ipso facto, dead. Your 'friends' are whipping up a little blood-letting jamboree. Can't I shove it through your thick skull, we're on Mars, about to be sliced and hammered by a lousy bunch of Martians!"

 

"Captain, sir?"

 

"Yes, Berman?"

 

"The cave door is opening, sir. I think the Martians are ready to have at us again, sir. Some sort of test or other, no doubt."

 

"Let go a me, you one-eyed monster! I'm coming, don't push!"

 

We're outside the cave. They're cutting our bonds. See, captain, they aren't hurting us, after all. Here's the brick alley. There's Mrs. Haight's underwear waving on the clothes-line. See all the people from the beer hall—what're they waiting for?

 

"To see us die."

 

"Captain, what's wrong with Halloway, he's acting queer—"

 

"At least he's better off than us. He can't see these creatures' faces and bodies. It's enough to turn a man's stomach. This must be their amphitheatre. That looks like an obstacle course. I gather from their sign lingo that if we make it through the obstacles, we're free. Footnote: nobody's ever gotten through alive yet. Seems they want you to go first, Berman. Good luck, boy."

 

"So long, captain. So long, Gus. So long, Halloway."

 

Berman's running down-alley with an easy, long-muscled stride. I hear him yelling high and clear, even though he's getting far away.

 

Here comes an automobile!

 

Berman! Ahh! It hit him! He's fallen!

 

Berman, get up, get up!

 

"Stay here, Halloway, it's not your turn yet."

 

My turn? What do you mean? Someone's gotta help Berman.

 

"Halloway, come back! Oh, man, I don't want to see this!"

 

 

 

LIFT up my legs, put them down, breathe out, breathe in, swing arms, swing legs, chew my tongue, blink my eyes, Berman, here I come, gee, things are crazy-funny, here comes an ice-wagon trundling along, its coming right at
me!
I can't see to get around it, it's coming so fast, I'll jump inside it, jump, jump, cool, ice, ice-pick,
chikk-chikk-chikk,
I hear the captain screaming off a million hot miles gone,
chikk-chikk-chikk
around the ice perimeter, the ice wagon is thundering, rioting, jouncing, shaking, rolling on big rusty iron wheels, smelling of sour ammonia, bouncing on a corduroy dirt and brick alley-road, the rear end of it seems to be snapping shut with many ice-prongs, I feel intense pain in my left leg,
chikk-chikk-chikk-chikk!
piece of ice, cold square, cold cube, a shuddering and convulsing, a temblor, the wagon wheels stop rolling, I jump down and run away from the wrecked wagon, did the wagon roll over Berman, I hope not, a fence here, I'll jump over it, another popcorn machine, very warm, very hot, all flame and red fire and burning metal knobs...

 

Oops, I didn't mean to strike the popcorn man down, hello, Berman, what're you doing in my arms, how'd you get here, did I pick you up, and why? an obstacle race at the high-school? you're heavy, I'm tired, dogs nipping at my heels, how far am I supposed to carry you? I hear the captain screaming me on, for why, for why? Here comes the big bad truant officer with a club in his hand to take me back to school, he looks mean and broad...

 

I kicked the truant officer's shins and kicked him in the face... Mama won't like that... yes, mommy... no mommy... that's unfair... that's not ethical fighting... something went squish... hmm... let's forget about it, shall we?

 

Breathing hard. Here comes the gang after me, all the rough, bristly Irishmen and scarred Norwegians and stubborn Italians... hit, kick, wrestle... here comes a swift car, fast, fast! I hope I can duck, with you, Berman... here comes another car from the opposite way!... if I work things right... uh... stop screaming, Berman!

 

The cars crashed into each other.

 

The cars still roll, tumbling, like two animals tearing at each other's throats.

 

Not far to go now, Berman, to the end of the alley. Just ahead. I'll sleep for forty years when this is over... where'd I get this flashlight in my hand? From one of those guys I knocked down? from the popcorn man? I'll poke it in front of me... people run away... maybe they don't like its light in their eyes... The end of the alley! There's the green valley and my house, and there's Mom and Pop waiting! Hey, let's sing, let's dance, we're going home!

 

"Halloway, you so-and-so, you did it!"

 

Dark. Sleep. Wake up slow. Listen.

 

"—and Halloway ran down that amphitheatre nonchalant as a high-school kid jumping hurdles. A big saffron Martian beast with a mouth so damn big it looked like the rear end of a delivery truck, lunged forward square at Halloway—"

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