Nine Minutes (5 page)

     
“What, so you can
go join the fun?” I taunted. “Is that what you’re
gonna
do? Big, tough guy, huh?
Gonna
terrorize a kitten. Gee, how brave!”

     
While I was yelling
Grizz
was moving toward the pit so I didn’t know how
much he heard, thank God. Grunt kept telling me to shut up. Then with a
strength I didn’t know he had, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.
He took me in the room and shut the door before letting me down on my feet.

     
He’d knocked the
wind out of me, and I bent over, gasping for air. He kept telling me to calm
down while he led me to the couch. Then he flipped on the TV, turned up the volume
and faced me.

     
“It’s not what
you think,” Grunt said. “It’ll be okay. Try and take a breath.”

     
I couldn’t reply.
For the first time since my abduction, I broke down and started to cry.

     
He started to sit
next to me and put his arm around me, but jumped back as soon as he did it.
Instead, he sat on the small coffee table and faced me, just watching me as I
sobbed.

     
He went in the
bathroom, brought back a cold washcloth and handed it to me. I put my face in
it and cried harder.

     
I looked up when
the door opened and
Grizz
walked in. He looked at me,
then at Grunt.

     
“Leave.”

     
Grunt nodded and
got up, walked past him and out the door. I looked down at my lap. I felt so
defeated, and the hysterics had made me physically exhausted. I could tell
Grizz
was walking toward me. Before I could look up, he
gently laid the kitten in my lap.

     
I was stunned. I
looked up at him, and he must have read the question on my face.

     
“Blue told me
what Monster did. What he was planning on doing.”

     
I didn’t know
what to say.

     
“It’s
gonna
need some fixing up. You can keep it in here and take
care of it, but you
gotta
keep it away from Lucifer and Damien. I don’t know what they’d do. I mean it,
though. You figure out a way to take care of it. I find one pile of shit in
here and I’ll have Grunt take it to the pound. Got it?”

     
I could only nod.

     
“You’ll never
talk to me like that again. Got it, Kit?”

     
“Yes. Thank you.”
I said in a whisper. “Did you yell at Monster? Did you let him know to stay
away from it from now on? That it’s mine?”

     
“No, I didn’t
yell at Monster, and no, he won’t bother it again.”

     
Three things
happened that night. That was the night I got my new name. Kit. That was the
night I saw a different side of
Grizz
. And that was
the night the others around the campfire would come to disagree about what they
witnessed.

     
Some said, “Yeah,
an eyeball does make a sizzling sound like bacon frying.” Others said, “No, it
don’t sound nothing like it.”

     
But they all
agreed on one thing. It was hard to tell for sure what kind of sound they heard
over Monster’s shrieks of pain.

Chapter Seven

That night
I slept with the tiny kitten curled up against my chest. Like every night I’d
been there, I slept on top of the covers of an extremely comfortable king-sized
bed.
Grizz’s
bed.
He slept on top of the covers, too, in his T-shirt and
jeans. Our backs almost touched. Every morning when I woke up, I would find a
blanket draped over me.

     
I didn’t see
Monster the next day. I was surprised that everyone acted like everything was
normal. As horrified as I was over what Monster had done to the kitten, I was
even more appalled at what
Grizz
had done to him.

     
I was sitting on
the bed the next morning playing with my kitten when Blue came in. Blue was
second in command of this group and Grunt’s older brother. He told
Grizz
that Monster had taken off and they weren’t sure if
he was coming back. I secretly hoped he was angry enough with
Grizz
to go to the police about my abduction. No such luck.

     
He rolled in
later that afternoon like nothing had happened. The only evidence of the night
before was a patch over his eye.

     
I was still under
the watchful eye of
Grizz
and never had a minute to
myself to get near the phone. He saw me eyeing it one day and told me not to
bother even trying to leave or call for help.

     
“I would be
stupid not to try to leave here.”

     
“No,”
Grizz
countered. “You would be stupid if you did try.”

     
“Really? Why’s
that?”

     
“Because if you
leave, your family gets hurt. That’s why.”

     
I already knew
what
Grizz
was capable of doing. I’d seen him abuse
Willow and knew what he’d done to Monster. Still, I couldn’t help myself. I had
to challenge him.

     
“What would you know
about my family?” I asked a little too mockingly.

     
I knew he’d burned
my driver’s permit, and there was no way he’d memorized the address on it that
night when he glanced at my name. And as far as my name was concerned, Lemon
was not in the phone book. Our telephone was in Vince’s name.

     
“Don’t push it,
Kit,” was all he said.

     
I pushed it. I
actually taunted him. Surprisingly, he wouldn’t answer my charges that there
was no way on this earth he could know anything about me, and therefore had no
way to take it out on my family. After a few minutes I noticed the vein in his
forehead throbbing.

     
“You want proof,
Kit? Is that what you’re asking for?”

     
“Yes, that’s
exactly what I want. Know why? Because I know you don’t have it. I was just
some stupid, random thank-you gift that Monster happened upon at the convenience
store. I was nowhere near my home.”

     
He stared at me
for a few minutes without answering. Finally, he said, “Maybe you need a lesson
in believing without proof. Maybe you need to learn exactly who you’re dealing
with.”

     
He said it in
such a calm and even voice it scared me. I relented.

     
“Okay, you’re
able to hurt my family if you want to.” My voice was quiet. “Fine, I believe
you. I won’t try anything stupid.”

     
That was the end
of the conversation. Thank God I heeded my own advice and didn’t try to escape
or use the phone. I spent the rest of the day in the bedroom with my kitten and
three library books.

     
That night as I
reluctantly followed
Grizz
out to the pit, I stopped
dead in my tracks. Fear trickled down my spine like a dripping faucet. There it
was. The proof that I told
Grizz
he couldn’t provide.
There, leaning up against the dilapidated slide on the playground, was my most
prized possession: My guitar. The last time I’d seen it, it was propped up
against a rocking chair in my bedroom. How? How could it be here? There was
only one way.
Grizz
knew where I lived. He could hurt
Delia and Vince. And even though I didn’t love them the way most kids love
their parents, I cared about them and didn’t want to see them hurt.

     
I returned to
number four that night shaken by fear and completely defeated. I picked up my
kitten and cuddled her. I felt so stupid. When
Grizz
first brought her to me I secretly vowed to escape and take her with me. I was going
to be this tiny little creature’s savior. Who was I kidding? How was I going to
save a kitten from these people when I couldn’t even save myself?

     
She needed a
name. That much I could do for her. Since hers had already been given to me, I
gave her back the only name I could think of that would also be my last
connection to home. It wasn’t a happy home, but it was the only home I ever
knew.

     
I named her
Gwinny
.

Chapter Eight

 
I’d gotten over my period a few days
after I arrived, and a week or so after that
Grizz
still hadn’t tried anything sexual with me. Willow continued to hate me, but
from a distance. By the end of the first week I’d even started sleeping through
the night. Before that, I’d had a hard time falling asleep and would wake up
all night long.

     
I worried
Grizz
was going to try something with me, but he never did.
I figured after I started sleeping through the night that he was getting up
while I was asleep and going to one of the other women’s rooms. Good. I hoped
that’s what he was doing. I sure didn’t want him to take out his pent-up
desires on me.

     
I’d also managed
to nurse
Gwinny
back to health. It wasn’t hard. The
only remnant from that awful night was a nasty blister that had since formed a
scab. She was a lively little thing and showed no fear even after the abuse
Monster inflicted on her. I was still a prisoner, but allowed to roam the motel
freely and without
Grizz
. He wasn’t always with me
like in the beginning. I obviously wasn’t going anywhere.

     
Magically,
everything I needed was provided for me, including a year’s supply of birth
control pills. In my mind I tried to deny it was an indication of how long I
could be there; regardless, I still didn’t know for what purpose. Would they
farm me out as a prostitute? Would I work at a topless bar like
Chicky
and Willow?

     
I didn’t know
then how
Grizz
acquired everything. Slowly, items
would just show up outside his room. The day after I got
Gwinny
,
I found a litter box, food and a cat toy outside the door. I kept the kitten
inside with me and made sure the litter box was cleaned as soon as she used it.
I didn’t want to give
Grizz
any reason to take her
away from me.

     
Another day, five
pairs of new underwear, a toothbrush, a sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers
showed up—all in my size. Up until then, I’d been hand washing the same
pair of panties and letting them dry overnight. I would sleep in one of
Grizz’s
T-shirts and my jeans, which I hadn’t washed, and I
usually started my days wearing damp but clean underwear.

     
Another day
brought with it new jeans, a couple nightgowns and shorts. Within the month I
had a complete wardrobe. It was nice, stylish stuff, too, with the store tags
still attached. Almost everything fit perfectly. I wondered if it was bought or
stolen. I never asked, but I’m pretty certain it was
Chicky
and Moe who got everything for me. If it was up to Willow I had no doubt I would
have spent my days in a used burlap sack.

     
I knew for
certain Moe got my pills. Moe had a friend who worked for a gynecologist, and
this friend had a serious drug habit. Since
Grizz
made sure all the girls stayed on birth control, Moe would take her friend her
drug of choice, and her friend would supply the group with pills from the stash
of free samples they got regularly at the doctor’s office.

     
My days were
routine and I was bored to tears. Strangely, though, I was no longer
frightened. I don’t know why. I should’ve been. But I wasn’t required to work
at the topless bar like the other girls. I wasn’t required to have sex with the
guys. I wasn’t asked to cook, clean or do laundry. But I had to do something to
keep myself from going crazy. I’d done chores in my own home. I decided to try
to do some here just to keep busy.

     
That was how I
learned that Damien and Lucifer were my jailers. As if the death threat to
Delia and Vince hadn’t been enough. Up until that point, the dogs had left my
kitten alone. They were allowed in
Grizz’s
room
whenever they wanted. They were extremely well trained dogs and never got on
the furniture. They slept on dog beds on the floor. They ate their dinner, went
to the woodsy area beyond the motel to relieve
themselves
and pretty much came and went as they pleased.

     
One day I decided
to mop the floor in number four. When I was finished I carried the bucket of
dirty water outside, but I didn’t want to dump it where someone might walk and
track it back in. So I headed for the edge of the motel grounds near the woods.

     
As I got closer I
noticed that bordering the property was what looked like a swamp. I’d forgotten
I was in the Everglades. Wait. Weren’t there alligators in the swamp? Before I
could ponder that question, I’d reached the edge of the motel lawn and was
lifting the bucket to pour it out. Suddenly, both dogs were there—one
behind me and one to my left. I held the bucket in midair as they both got into
attack stance and growled. I froze.

     
Oh,
my gosh
. They thought I was trying to leave and they were
stopping me. I couldn’t believe it. How did they know to stop me there? I’d
seen some of the guys go right to the edge of the lawn to pee, and the dogs
never went after them.

     
I stood there,
paralyzed with fear. Then I heard
Grizz
whistle to
them and shout a command as he walked toward me. The dogs trotted off, happily
wagging their stubby tails like they were little pups. When
Grizz
got to me, he took the bucket and poured it out.

     
“I wasn’t
leaving, you know.”

     
“Didn’t think you
were. But they did.”

     
“Your dogs are
trained to attack me if I try to leave?”

     
“Not attack you.
Just stop you. But see, you were smart enough to stop. Just keep stopping and
it won’t be a problem.” His tone was matter of fact.

     
“You would want
them to hurt me?”

     
“No, I don’t want
them to hurt you, and they wouldn’t have attacked. They would’ve stopped you.”

     
“By attacking me?”
My voice started rising, and I couldn’t control it. I realized my feelings were
actually hurt. I thought Damien and Lucifer had warmed up to me. They certainly
had warmed up to
Gwinny
, letting her swat at them and
chew on the nubs of their tails. Sometimes she would even try to chew on their
ears while they slept. They never flinched.

     
“Kit, quit
overreacting. They’re also your protectors. If anyone ever so much as lifts a
hand to you, they’ll kill ’
em
.”

     
“Really? They
would do that?”

     
“Yeah. If they’d
been there that night when that scumbag tried to rape you in your parents’ house,
they would’ve ripped his balls off.”

     
My head snapped
up to meet his eyes. I could see by his expression he hadn’t meant to say it.

     
“That was over a
year ago,” I said, my heart thudding. “How did you know that?
Grizz
, how did you know about that guy?”

     
He started
walking back toward the motel. I was carrying the empty bucket and trying to
keep up with him. I continued to fire questions at him about how he could
possibly have known about that incident. He didn’t answer. He just kept
walking.

     
I followed him
inside number four, and when I shut the door behind us, I quietly said, “Please.
Please tell me.”

     
Grizz
spun around then and stared at me, like he was trying
to decide whether to tell me. We hadn’t had many conversations up until then. He
didn’t talk much, and I couldn’t tell if he was going to say anything at all. The
seconds ticked by. Finally, he gestured toward the couch. I sat down and put my
hands in my lap.
Gwinny
jumped up on my shoulder and
started playing with my hair. I barely noticed.

     
I couldn’t
believe what came next.

     
Monster’s random
abduction of me was not random at all, I learned. It was a direct order from
Grizz
. As far as the rest of the group knew, I was a “thank-you
gift,” like Monster said.

     
It all started in
October 1973. I was thirteen.
Grizz
was in my
neighborhood when he saw me get off the school bus. I was in eighth grade, and
the bus dropped me almost at my door.

     
He explained how
he’d been sitting in Guido’s driveway when I passed him, walked up to my porch
and let myself in the house. (Guido? He knew Guido?)

     
Guido’s real name
was Tony Bono, and he worked for
Grizz
. Something
with drugs.
Grizz
saw me and instantly wanted me. He
didn’t know I was only thirteen, but when Guido told him my age, he decided on
a plan. Guido was to watch me and report anything strange or unusual. It was an
order, and Guido was only too happy to cooperate. He reported the Johnny
Tillman incident, plus many other details about my life and my family.

     
As I listened,
something else occurred to me.

     
“It was you, wasn’t
it?” I asked, realization dawning. “You were the reason Matthew broke off our
friendship.”

     
Grizz
clenched his jaw, not looking at me. “He was becoming
too interested in you. Have you been with him? That kid. Did you do anything
with him?”

     
“Not that it’s
any of your business, but no. We never got beyond the kiss on my porch.”

     
“Good thing for
him.”

     
“Why’s that?”

     
“Because I told
him if I ever found out he touched you, I would go back and cut his balls off.”

     
“Why would you do
that?” My cheeks were hot. “He wouldn’t have defied you. He immediately ended
our friendship. So why did you still have Monster take me?”

     
“I couldn’t risk
you being with someone else. You look a lot older than fifteen. I couldn’t
chance it.”

     
Matthew would
tell me many years later that he regretted never speaking up when I
disappeared. He was certain he knew who was responsible. He apologized for not
going to the police to tell them about
Grizz
. He said
he was just a kid and he really believed the guy would come back and hurt him.
I told him not to feel guilty, and I meant it.

     
He was right to
be scared.
Grizz
would have gone back for him.

     
Now my head was
spinning. I was actually dizzy from racing thoughts. Mine wasn’t an arbitrary
kidnapping. It was a
well-planned
and carefully
executed one. He then explained how my guitar got to the motel. It hurt so much
to hear that Guido paid five dollars for it at one of Delia’s many garage
sales—that particular sale being held shortly after my disappearance.

     
“So that first
night when you looked at my license and laughed at my name, it was an act. You
already knew my name.” It wasn’t a question.

     
“It wasn’t an
act. I didn’t know about the ‘Love’ part.”

     
I now had no
doubt that it was my image on their gang logo. He’d long been obsessed with me.
I think I was more frightened at that realization than when I first figured out
I’d been abducted.

     
Grizz
went on to explain that after seeing me the first
time he knew he would come back for me one day.
That I would
be his.
He admitted that even with Guido keeping an eye on things, he
would personally check on me once in awhile. He’d even been at
Smitty’s
when I was there. He’d quietly observed me for
almost two years. But he insisted he was no child molester or pervert and that
he’d been waiting for me to get older.
          

     
I stopped him. “But
I’m still only fifteen.”

     
“You’re old
enough. And I’m tired of waiting.”

     
My head swam and
I fought to keep tears at bay. “So what is my purpose for being here? Am I
going to work like the other girls? How do you expect me to earn my keep?
What’s going to happen to me when you get tired of me?”

     
Grizz
eyes turned very serious. “You will never work. You
will earn your keep by staying with me. And no man, I
mean no
man
, will ever touch you. No man but me.”

     
So there it was: He
was going to rape me. Why hadn’t he?

     
Before I could
ask, he added, “The last man who tried to touch you paid for it. So will anyone
else who comes near you.”