Nila's Hope (14 page)

Just then Will turned around, raised one eyebrow, and beckoned with his head.

Nila looked at the full pew. She might be able to squeeze in, but it would be uncomfortable. Her mouth turned downward as she shook her head. She turned to go back to the nursery, but before she reached the stairs, someone grabbed her arm.

“Wait,” Will said. “I thought we were going to sit together.”

“You said you'd save me a place.” She spun away, but his hand on her arm stopped her.

“I tried.” His whisper held regret. “I told Hayley I was saving room for a friend, and she assumed that meant her and slid right in. I'm sorry.” He turned her and lifted her chin. “There's still room in the back row, if you'll join me.”

Nila straightened her shoulders. “I'd like that.”

 

****

 

An hour later, they were standing at the bottom of the church steps when Hayley caught Will by the arm. “Hey, where'd you go?”

Will looked down at Hayley and at her hand on his arm. “I sat with the friend I'd saved a spot for. I'm sorry you misunderstood.”

Hayley's bottom lip protruded, and she glared at Nila. “Just friends, eh? I'll bet you didn't even tell him about my party, did you?” Hayley pulled Will closer. “I'm having a party this Friday, and you're invited. Your
friend
probably forgot to tell you.”

Sunshine reflected off her toothy, white smile. Will blinked and pulled free of her grasp. “Sorry. I'm busy Friday.” He turned to Nila and held out his arm. “Let's get going before we freeze out here.”

Hayley gave an unladylike snort.

He let out a long breath and opened the truck door for Nila. As he walked around to the driver's side, a familiar gray van with tinted windows drove slowly past the church. Will strained to make out the license plate, but it was covered with dirty snow.

He stood frozen, rubbing the back of his neck as an icy tingle raced up and down his spine.

He climbed into Daniel's half-ton, fastened his seatbelt, and started the vehicle without a word. He stared out the windshield, suspicion pulling his eyebrows together.

“Is everything OK?” Nila spoke so softly, he barely heard her over the roar of the cold truck and had to replay her question in his mind.

“Yeah. No. I'm not sure.” Will shook his head. “I'm sorry, but I think I'd better back out of Lydia's lunch invitation. I'll take you home, but I can't stay.”

“Oh.” She sighed and turned her head, her chin lifted.

Will groaned and closed his eyes for a moment. “Look, Nila, I'd like to spend this afternoon with you as we planned, but…I don't know how to explain it. I've just got a weird feeling I need to be at home.”

She heaved a deep sigh. “I understand.”

He looked over at her, but she was facing the side window, her breath creating frosty designs on the glass.

“I'll phone you later, all right? I still need your input on wall color and stuff.”

A wan smile softened her features as she turned to him. “Of course. And I do understand. It's been a rough few days.”

Her wide, brown eyes held him captive for several heartbeats. She looked so vulnerable. And he was being a jerk by letting her down.

He put the truck into gear and pulled away from the curb before speaking again. “You're right. It has been rough, especially for you. How about we have a quick lunch—I'm sure Dave and Lydia will understand—and then you could inspect my work while I check on Mom's. OK?”

She nodded, and the smile on her face kindled a heat that started somewhere around his heart and spread like wildfire. He pressed the accelerator too hard. The truck spun out. He let out a whoosh of breath. He'd better watch it. This could be dangerous, in more ways than one.

Less than two hours later, Will unlocked the door to his home. “I'll run over and check Mom's. It should just take a couple minutes.” As she passed by, he caught a whiff of her shampoo and inhaled deeply. It smelled like springtime. Nice.

She stopped just inside the door to pull off her boots. “Do you want me to wait up here, or can I peek at what you've done downstairs?”

His attention captured by her trim figure barely visible within her bulky coat, Will didn't respond.

Nila straightened and caught him staring. “Excuse me.” She laughed.

The bubbly sound was one that Will realized he'd missed. He wanted to hear it again. He wanted to pull her close…he shook his head to clear it and stepped back out the door, nearly tripping in his haste. “I'll be right back. Make yourself at home.”

He dashed across the street—after checking for suspicious vans—and entered his mother's house. In the living room, he listened. No sounds, no drafts, no evident damage. He checked all the rooms, carefully inspecting windows and outside doors. Nothing seemed out of order.

In the master bedroom he paused beside Daniel's masterpiece. The workmanship on the bed was impeccable. He stood for a moment admiring it. Nothing was damaged. Thank the Lord.

The basement was clear, too, and after rechecking the doors and windows, Will locked the front door and headed back across the street.

 

****

 

As soon as Will left, Nila plugged in the coffeepot and opened one cupboard door after another as she searched for filters and coffee. Will had declined Lydia's offer of coffee. He explained that he was anxious to check Daniel and Melody's house, and they'd have some at his place.

She opened the fourth door. There they were. Not where she would have put them, but it was his place, not hers. She shrugged off a frisson of yearning and busied herself preparing the brew. Once the coffeemaker began to gurgle its cheery song, she leaned against the counter and relaxed.

As her first paid construction job, this remodel held a special place in her heart. Dave and Lydia's basement had been a blank slate, so tearing down walls and ripping out cabinets here had been a thrill. The first day of demolition Daniel had presented her with her very own pink hardhat.

Will had teased her that she'd never be one of the guys wearing that. Then he'd bowed low, touched her shoulder with a crowbar, and dubbed her “Demolition Diva.”

Daniel had handed her a sledgehammer and given her the honour of delivering the first blow to the wall between the kitchen and the living room. She'd barely been able to swing the sledge that day, but even so, she'd loved the feeling of power.

She'd become much stronger because Daniel—and God—had trusted her with hard jobs. She thought about that for a minute. Were Nick's threats another hard job God was using to make her stronger? She closed her eyes and whispered, “If it is, God, give me the strength I need.” After a moment, she opened her eyes and admired the new wall colors, flooring, cabinets, and counters. They reminded her of the way Daniel had asked her opinion as though it actually mattered.

Daniel used to scare her, but now she knew he was one of the kindest men she'd ever met. And as for Will, he was…The object of that thought stomped up the front steps.

She fluffed the wispy locks around her face and straightened her sweater before turning to greet him. “Was everything OK?” Her pulse raced, but she kept her voice steady.

“Yes. It's all good. I don't know why I was so worried.” He shut the closet door and turned to her. “So, did you look downstairs?”

Nila shook her head. “No, I made coffee and did a little reminiscing.” She smiled. “It was fun working here.”

His deep blue eyes seemed to glow as they met hers. “Yes, it was. I like working with you.” He grabbed two coffee mugs out of the dishwasher and offered her one with a grin. “Don't worry, they're clean.”

Full mugs in hand, Will and Nila headed downstairs.

“I call it my man cave, but since I'll only be here a year or two, it's really more for Daniel's sister and her husband. That's why I need your help.”

“Your mom mentioned Hannah a time or two, but I didn't know she was retiring from the mission field. Have you ever met her or her husband?”

They'd reached the basement, and Will led her to the far end of the space before answering.

“No, I haven't, so I have no idea of their tastes. Is that a problem?”

“Shouldn't be. We'll just have to keep things fairly neutral.” She grinned at Will. “Too bad. I was ready to do this up in pinks and purples.”

Will growled at her. “I don't think so, Ni-ya. This is for me—at least for now. Not for my niece.”

His use of Jessica's name for her created a surge of maternal longing that caught her by surprise. Her coffee cup trembled in her hand. She used both hands to bring it to her lips, turning away from her companion in the process. After a careful swallow of coffee she walked through the framed rooms. “This is a good-sized bathroom. Are you planning to do just a shower or a tub, too?”

“Not sure. What do you think?”

“I think you've got enough room here to do whatever you'd like.” She pointed to one corner. “If you put a walk-in shower there, you'd have room for a soaker tub over here.”

For the next few minutes they discussed ideas for the bathroom, bedroom, storage room, and family room.

Nila could imagine the finished space by the time she sat on the bottom step and sipped her cooling coffee.

Will plopped down on the step just above her, his leg brushing her arm as he settled himself.

The jolt of awareness startled Nila, and she jerked her arm, spilling coffee onto her jeans.

“Sorry.” Will's voice came from behind her. “Did I bump you?”

Nila scrubbed at her pant leg with the cuff of her sleeve. “No, I'm just a klutz.”

“Come up one step, OK? I don't want to talk to the back of your head, and my legs would be at my chest if I sat down there.”

Nila scooted up, smiling at the mental image. She settled close to the wall, but the electricity between them jumped the gap. She clutched her coffee cup to hide the continued trembling in her fingers. “What do you want to talk about?”

Will looked into his mug. “I hoped…I'd like to know…” He looked at her, and the warm compassion in his gaze melted her heart. “Nila, what happened to you? Your testimony at the trial…I can't imagine how you hung on.” He set his cup on the step behind them and reached for her hand. “But what about your own family? Or foster families? Wasn't there anyone to help you?”

She shook her head, closed her eyes, and shrank against the wall. “No. There was no one.” Echoes of Nick's taunts ripped through her mind.
Nobody has ever loved you except me. I'm your only hope. You're mine. You will always be mine.

As though watching a horror movie rerun, she watched the grin on Nick's face twist into a mask of rage. She felt the shock of every impact, the cut of each cruel taunt. Nila wrapped her arms around herself, but they couldn't protect her. Darkness threatened. Nick must be right. She deserved it. She was unlovable, a mistake.

 

 

 

 

16

 

He'd blown it. His chest ached with the weight of failure. He'd just wanted to get to know Nila better. But it looked like his clumsy questions had plunged her into a well of gloom.

Nila lifted her head and stared at nothing.

The misery on her face kicked him in the gut. He groaned under his breath. He had to make contact, bring her back. He reached over and stroked her cheek with one finger.

She jerked away as though struck.

“Nila, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just hoped you could share your past with me. I want to know you. Really know you.”

She shook herself and sighed, a deep, gasping breath that kicked him even harder. “It's not a pretty story. Are you sure you want to know?”

Will couldn't help himself. He reached over and pulled Nila to his side. “Tell me,” he whispered into her hair.

She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes again. “I'm nobody's child. I can't remember ever having parents of my own. Mom…Mrs. Klassen told me that my birth mother loved me and wanted more for me than she could provide. I believed that for a while. But after they left, I found out that's just a fairytale every foster kid is told. Nobody really loved me. No one wanted me.”

He clenched his teeth against an outburst, and she stiffened. She must have felt it. Will forced himself to breathe deeply as his arm tightened around her.

She slowly relaxed against him and, after another deep sigh, continued. “My first memories are of the Klassen family. I called them Mommy and Daddy, and they said they loved me. They talked about adopting me. I was five, I think, but then Mr. Klassen got transferred to the East Coast before they could. They had to move and I had to leave.”

She pulled away, and Will's arm felt empty. But she dug into her pocket for a tissue, blew her nose, and leaned against him again. “I'll never forget seeing them in their doorway, arms around each other, with tears running down their faces. They were waving good-bye. I remember the tight straps on the social worker's car seat cutting into my shoulders as I tried to get free. I didn't understand. I screamed their names as we drove away. I never saw them again.”

Will ignored the moisture in his eyes and laid his cheek on the top of her head. “I'm so sorry.”

“That was the last time I felt cared for. Or safe.” Her voice was that of a five-year-old. “Most of the foster parents did their best, but I couldn't trust anyone. Especially after…” She swallowed hard.

He could feel her quake, and he wondered.

Nila took a deep, shuddering breath and continued. “Maybe that's why I was such an easy target when Nick came along. I wanted to believe someone could love me.” She sat quietly for a moment.