Nil Unlocked (46 page)

Around us, all eyes were still on the gate. Its brilliance flickered. Like a power surge.

Paulo
, I thought.
The last rider’s coming.

With an eerie hiss, the gate collapsed, snapping back on itself, just like every inbound on Nil I’d ever seen. Nothing flashy, nothing like a Nil finale. Just Nil business as usual, which right now felt monumentally wrong. The gate shrank to a black dot and disappeared.

The doorway had closed.

“Paulo,” Skye whispered, her eyes wide with shock. “He didn’t make it.”

Paulo’s on Nil. Nil’s still alive.

We’d saved all but one, but it was like beheading the Hydra; Nil would just grow back, strong and powerful, and Paulo was there to fuel the darkness.

“Rives.” Skye still stared at the spot where the gate had vanished, like it might pop back up and spit Paulo out any second. “Paulo was right behind me. He was ready to follow; I know it. But at the last second, something happened.”

I frowned. “Was he attacked?”

She shook her head. “He was alone on the platform. It was like something changed his mind, or delayed him enough to miss the gate. His expression—” She broke off. “I can’t explain it. But it’s like the decision wasn’t his.”

It made no sense. Nil was tired, working toward island rest. Permanent rest.
If Nil wanted to die, why keep Paulo?

“I don’t know,” Skye said. “I don’t understand it, either.” She looked at me, then her eyes drifted over my shoulder and her mouth fell open. “Dad!” Wrapped in the blanket, she ran over and hugged the guy standing beside the grocery bag full of gym clothes.

“Skye.” His voice was thick with emotion. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“Totally fine here, Dad. You trained me to take care of myself, remember?” She gave him another big hug, then let go and grinned, stepping back to find my hand with hers.

“I also remember telling you to stick with me.” His calm tone and fierce gaze was Skye’s in dad form.

“Skye doesn’t always follow directions,” I said, shooting her a quick grin before sticking out my hand. “Dr. Bracken, I’m Rives Martin-Taylor. Good to meet you, sir.”

He shook my hand, carefully sizing me up before he smiled. “Likewise.” Then he turned to Skye and pointed to her blanket. “How about some clothes?”

Around us, life returned one second at a time, like blood flowing back into numb limbs. Macy was smiling; Ahmad was hugging Kiera; Michael talked with Cho. Uri stood apart, head bowed. Miya looked restless; Maaka was nowhere in sight. Zane held Jillian. Her entire bearing screamed shock.

“Be right back.” I squeezed Skye’s hand, then walked over to Jillian, knowing Skye and her dad needed some space and I needed to make sure Jillian was okay.

Zane looked at me as I approached. “Hey, Chief.” His eyes were bloodshot.

“How’re you holding up, Z?”

“Okay.” He nodded. He let go of Jillian. She turned to me, her gaze both hollow and hurt. Relief took a backseat to her pain.

“Jills,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

She hugged me, hard. “Me too. It just sucks, you know? So close, Rives. We were
so close.
”

“I know.” I didn’t ask for details. Part of me didn’t want to know, didn’t want another bloody visual I couldn’t erase. It didn’t matter how it happened; it was over. Dex was another Nil casualty.

A gap on the Wall. Another Nil scar, for all of us.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I said quietly.

“I know.” The fierceness in Jillian won out. “And I know more of my friends made it back than died. But I still hate it. It’s not fair. I think”—she swallowed—“we could’ve been something.”

Something more
, I thought.

Sometimes Nil’s unknowns followed you home.

“Where’s Sy?” Zane asked sharply. He was looking around. “Michael and I tossed him in the gate. He wasn’t conscious, but he was breathing.”

Michael’s head turned at the mention of his name.

“Sy?” I called, letting go of Jillian.

Michael walked over, shaking his head. “Didn’t make it. Lost in between.”

Jillian shuddered. “That’s awful.”

“Dude, I didn’t even know that could happen,” Zane said. “I thought gate trips were a given.”

I thought of Heesham, throwing Miguel in the gate. I’d always assumed Miguel made it through. I gritted my teeth, reminded of how nothing on Nil was guaranteed, not even in escape.
Nothing’s a given
, I thought.
Not when Nil’s involved.

Standing here, free of Nil, I’d never been more grateful.

Skye’s dad whistled. “I’m Skye’s dad, for those I haven’t met. When you’re ready, the boat’s at the beach,” he called. “It’s stocked with food and drinks. No fish.” He winked. “Take your time.” He pointed toward a path through the trees, waved, and started walking.

Zane grabbed Jillian’s hand. “C’mon, Jills, Skye’s dad said he’s got chips and Coke. Man, I’ve been jonesing for a Dorito.” She didn’t smile, but Jillian followed Zane. Macy linked her arm through Jillian’s, whispering in her ear. Slowly the group dwindled to two.

It was just me and Skye.

I placed my hands on her waist; her hands rested on my shoulders. Our lips were centimeters apart.

“Do you hear that?” I said softly.

She closed her eyes, listening. “What is it?” she whispered.

“Silence.” I brushed a kiss against her forehead, then another on her eyebrow and one on her cheek. “No clock.” I kissed her other cheek. “No rush.”

Her lips met mine, and in that moment I knew.
She
knew.

The
tick-tock
was gone.

All that was left was
more.

EPILOGUE

SKYE

SIX WEEKS LATER

Reentry has been swift and strange and impossible to completely process. My uncle’s journal didn’t prepare me for the weeks post-Nil. I don’t think it could’ve, not really. My post-Nil world is totally different from his, just like my experience on Nil was not the same.

I have support he never had—Rives, and Jillian. And they have me.

And yet, Nil still creeps into this world.

I still stiffen as the sun sits high, just for a second, surprised that I don’t need to run. I still think of the Wall at random moments, wondering if Paulo filled in the blanks. I still wake in the night reaching for my rock sling.

Nil habits die hard, and new ones are hard to break.

I still dream of blackness, the hollow blackness of the doorway between worlds. I dream I’m lost. Fading, until I reach for Rives. Always, I reach. And always, I hear him.

Jillian still dreams of Dex.

His death overshadowed the boat ride back.

Dad did all the talking. The rest of us sat around and ate, staring at nothing and everything and struggling to grasp that we were free of Nil. I never let go of Rives’s hand, and he never let go of mine.

Dad was our island savior in waiting.

After I’d vanished that night, he’d taken an indefinite leave of absence from his job. He’d set up camp out on the Death Twin island, after finding, of all things, one of my blue hair ties in the woods near the carving. He’d watched, waited, and paid special attention to every astronomically significant event, realizing I’d disappeared on the Winter Solstice. He’d also paid a private captain a ridiculous amount of money to bring a large boat to the island fully stocked with necessities—including two bins of clothes. When I asked why he had so many clothes, he smiled, saying, “Hopeful realist, remember? I took a chance.”

We all did, I think.

Mom and Dad are talking again. He’s making plans to visit her in Africa and considering quitting his job altogether. He didn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure he’s finally given up his island quest. When it’s been found, what’s left?

The rest of us have made a pact. Among ourselves, and with our families. Not to go public about Nil, because we all agreed the exposure would give Nil power over our lives here, and we’ve already given the island enough. And we honestly can’t figure out how going public would do anyone any good. Gates are impossible to avoid if one has your name on it. But we’ll stay in touch, and stay together. Our bonds are island-made, island-strong. I guess we have to thank Nil for that.

Rives and I are definitely
more.

I’ve met his parents and he’s met mine; we’d all spent a week together in the islands after our return. We don’t know what we want to do yet, or where we we’ll go, but we have time, without pressure.

And we have each other. Here, in this world, in the
now
.

Right now we’re in Kona. Tish will meet us in Paris next week, but this stop is just for us. For Nil survivors. A reunion, and a good-bye. Kiera’s dad bought everyone’s tickets and paid for the hotel, too. It turns out she’s got more money than the rest of us put together.

As twilight fell, we walked to the edge of the sea, leaving our mark in black sand the color of a Nil night. Rives and I stood beside each other, fingers entwined like two halves of one whole. Charley and Thad stood to Rives’s left; Zane, Jillian, Ahmad, Kiera, and Macy were to my right. Jason couldn’t come; his parents said no.
Too young
, he grumbled over the phone to Rives.
Maybe I’ll catch the next one.
Same for Miya and a few others.

The next one.

Because there would be more Nil reunions. We have time.

We all faced the water, cups in hand, our feet grounded in safety, a bittersweet peace that still felt unfair.

The setting sun brushed the water, and Rives raised his cup high.

“To Dex,” he said quietly. “A bloody good friend. I’ll never forget you. I hope you’re up there, raising your cup, too. We love you, man.” He tipped up his cup and drank.

“To Dex,” I murmured. Dex finally got his cuppa tea. Grief and guilt mingled with free will and fate. I had chosen, like Nil. Like Dex.

Rives dropped his cup on the sand and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You okay?” he asked me, his eyes brilliant green.

“I will be,” I said, reaching up to pull him close.

He nodded. I knew he understood, that he felt the same way.

We will be.

Rives kissed me, then slid his fingers through mine.

Thad clapped Rives on the shoulder. Something unspoken passed between them. The first time Rives and Thad saw each other this afternoon, they had hugged long and tight with no words. Sometimes there are no words, I’ve decided. Sometimes you need to feel what’s real.

Thad looked at me, his blue eyes glistening in the fading light. “I can’t thank you enough for saving my boy, Skye. This is a good man here.” He squeezed Rives’s shoulder.

“I know.” I smiled. Rives winked.

Thad grinned. “And hell if it doesn’t feel good to know you outfoxed Nil. Beat her at her own game.”

Did we?
I thought. I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure if we’d won or lost or just broke even. Sometimes I wondered if we’d just reset the clock.

Charley walked up, her golden eyes sad and warm in the setting sun. “You did it, Skye,” she said, smiling. “After you left that day, I had the craziest feeling you would. You got what you wished for.” Her eyes slid to Rives, slightly mischievous. “Or maybe something better?”

“Definitely better.” I smiled. “Something I never imagined.”

“I know what you mean.”

Her eyes found Thad. They were always finding Thad.

Charley and Thad together were intense. Like crazy intense. They had some kind of silent communication, and heat crackled between them. A small ring graced Charley’s finger.
A promise ring
, she’d said with a smile.

My hand crept to my neck, finding my gift from Rives. A rough unpolished diamond on a simple silver chain, a replica of the stone he’d given me for my birthday on Nil. I like that most people have no clue it’s a diamond; they think it’s just a pretty rock. But it’s so much more.

I
know.

I glanced at Rives. He was watching me, his eyes full of fire and heat just for me. He smiled, his dangerous smile I knew so well, and I felt luckier than any person had a right to be.

“Geez.” Jillian rolled her eyes. “You two are as bad as they are.” With a laugh, she tipped her head toward Charley and Thad before glancing back at Rives. “It’s like you read his mind.”

Sometimes I do
, I thought. I squeezed Rives’s hand.
Sometimes we do.

Nil changed everyone; it’s a basic Nil truth. Rives and I are linked, a connection forged through fire and love and pain and something else, something powerful Nil created in our final few moments.

A final gift.

I know now what Charley had lost. I’m deeply glad she found Thad on this side. And I’m glad Rives and I saved as many as we could. But I still wake thinking of Nil, wondering why Paulo stayed. Why Nil lives, why we failed.

I hope one day I find out.

*   *   *

My name is Skye Bracken.

And this is the truth.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The word
Acknowledgments
seems so paltry in light of the hundreds of pages before it.
☺
Epic hugs, billboards proclaiming my thanks, and a lifetime supply of cookies all sound much better … for without the following people,
Nil Unlocked
would not exist.

Jennifer Unter, my rock star agent, who cheers me on without fail. Who believed and supported me when I told her this book was already written in my brain, that I just had to put it on paper. I adore you, Jennifer, and am so grateful you’re my agent/friend/cheerleader/champion. Thank you for making my publishing dreams come true (again!).

Kate Farrell, my brilliant editor, who makes each book better than the last. Who, when I outlined my idea for
Nil Unlocked
over the phone, said “Let’s do this!” and we did! I love working with you and am so grateful for your keen eye and wise words, and am so honored to have Rives’s and Skye’s journeys shaped by your hand. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I can’t wait to see where we go next!