Authors: Lynne Matson
“I guess.” I nodded.
“I guess too,” Rives said thoughtfully. “Because your dad’s passion for finding Nil was his own. Yeah, maybe it started with your uncle, but somewhere along the way it became your dad’s and it drove him. And he let it. Because it fed him somehow. It was his.”
I nodded again, slowly this time.
“I don’t think your dad settled; I think it was his choice. Both to become an astrophysicist and to hunt for Nil. And Skye”—Rives tilted his head to look at me—“I don’t think you should settle, ever. Never settle for anything less than what you want.”
The Nil air was thick. Heavy with whispers and echoes and heat, only a fraction of which came from the torch.
I swallowed.
“What do you like?” Rives asked.
You
, I thought. My gaze fell to his lips. Perfect lips, set in a chiseled face, sharpened by the night. My voyeurism was now fully confined to Rives.
A smile lifted the corner of his mouth.
“Back home,” he whispered, “what do you do? What do you like to do?”
I closed my eyes. “Different questions. What do I do? I train. I run, I eat weird stuff my dad makes me try, I practice knocking pine cones off tables with a rock slingshot from a hundred feet. Then I go back to my mom’s, and I study. I hang with my friends, and I still study. And I still train. Krav Maga, with a crazy ex-Israeli military instructor named Yarin my dad found for me in Gainesville. But what do I like to do?” I stared at the stars. “I love to read, I love to travel. I love to listen to music. But what do I
want
to do? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s like I don’t know me.”
I turned toward Rives. He was so
close.
“You asked me once why I jumped through that gate.” I paused. “I think it’s because I had to. Like all those years of training my dad put me through, to protect me against this place—it drove me here. I don’t know if it was to test my training, or it was just my destiny. All I can say is that I had to take that gate. I felt a pull, and I didn’t think; I just
went.
And sometimes I think I jumped because it was finally a choice
I
made, not anyone else. Like in that single moment, I finally did something for me.”
Maybe to
find
me
. I closed my eyes. “But it was selfish, too. My parents are probably worried sick.”
A brush across my cheek made my skin tingle and my eyes open. Rives’s fingers gently swept hair away from my face, then he traced my jaw. The tingles grew.
His eyes were so light, yet full of green fire.
“You’re not selfish, Skye. You’re rarely even impulsive. I think maybe Nil
is
your destiny, so how can accepting your destiny be selfish?”
I had no answer for that. Also, my mind was screaming
Rives
and his fingers were exceptionally distracting.
He leaned back and stared at the night. “Want to hear something crazy?”
“Of course. The crazy club is a special one. Come on in. We have snacks,” I said. It was easier to think when Rives wasn’t looking at me—or touching me.
He laughed, a sweet rumble. “Please tell me it’s not fish wraps.”
“Nope. I’m talking lasagna bolognese, arugula salad with blue cheese crumbles and a balsamic reduction, fresh French baguettes, followed by homemade raspberry sorbet.”
Rives groaned. “Skye, you’re killing me.”
“Sorry.” I grinned. “Over the summer, I do all the cooking at my dad’s. He’s hard-core Paleo, and I can’t take it. I experiment, and I really love to bake. Even my dad breaks his diet for my chocolate chip cheesecake or my cr
è
me br
û
l
é
e—”
Rives placed a single finger over my lips. “You really are killing me, you know that?” he whispered. His eyes were so full of heat I thought I might die. Or kiss him.
Slowly, he removed his finger. “Have you ever thought about being a chef?”
“Um, no.”
“Well, the crazy clubhouse has the best menu I’ve seen in a while.” His eyes stayed on mine.
“So what makes you a member?”
“Besides the fact that Nil gets in my head sometimes?” He looked away.
“I think Nil gets in everyone’s head.” My voice was soft. “My uncle started hearing Nil—or at least talking to Nil—after about the six-month mark.”
The second season
, I thought.
Is that why Paulo had to stay? To hear Nil?
I’m losing it
, I thought.
I’m the crazy club prez.
Rives leaned back, his eyes still on the stars.
“Here’s what’s crazy.” His voice was guarded, yet vulnerable. “Sometimes I think I’m here for a reason. Like I’m the one who’s supposed to bring everyone together to leave on time. Not that I’m a savior, more like an organizer. I speak five languages; I even have island blood. And Maaka talks to me. I’m not bragging, I’m just saying maybe I’m supposed to do something important. Something beyond me.”
“Something more,” I whispered.
“Exactly.” Rives’s eyes burned mine with an intensity that made me forget to breathe.
He blinked and looked away.
I looked back at the stars, suddenly exhausted, and strangely defeated. “So I’m supposed to find the gate, and you’re supposed to lead everyone to it.”
“Something like that.”
“And we’ve got until the Spring Equinox to figure it out. How many days do we have?”
It took Rives a moment to answer.
“Enough,” he said. “Sleep, Skye. We’ve got a road trip in the morning.”
RIVES
DAY 316, DAWN
Skye lay in my arms.
I was spooned around her, her back pressed against my chest, one arm hooked over her waist.
For warmth
, I told myself.
I eased backward a crucial bit. Then I lay there, thinking cool thoughts. Antarctica. Greenland. Sweden in winter. Waking up plastered to Skye wreaked havoc on my control.
When I’d pulled myself together, I leaned my head close. My lips brushed the edge of her ear. “Hey, sleepyhead,” I whispered.
She opened her eyes. “Hey.” Then she closed them and curled closer, erasing the slight space I’d made between us and tucking her hands under her head. For a heady moment, it was just me and Skye. But it wasn’t. Nil hung around like a third wheel.
Three’s a crowd
, I thought.
And today marks the beginning of your end, Nil.
I wondered what Maaka would think of my words, not to mention Skye’s plan.
What’s number three?
I’d asked her.
Now I knew.
“I’m so warm,” Skye said, eyes still closed. “Do we have to get up?”
“We’ve got a trip to take,” I said softly. “Remember?”
She sat up immediately. “Right. The mountain. The gate. Let’s go.”
I laughed. “Patience, padawan. Breakfast first. Then we pack a few things to spend the night in case we need to.
Then
we leave.” I paused.
We leave.
But Skye dreamed of more.
“Do you remember your three-part plan?” I asked her. “Where part one was we find when the stationary gate opens and where? And two was sweeping the island for everyone to make sure no one gets left behind, with the idea being if we all leave, the island’s mojo gets out of whack—maybe enough to destroy it?”
She nodded.
“I know what number three is. It’s getting Maaka to join in our annihilation scheme.”
“And Paulo,” she said, her voice quiet. “We’ll have to work on him, too.” Then she looked at me, the steel in her eyes flashing in the growing sunlight as she smiled. “But patience, padawan. Don’t look ahead. Today, step one.”
It was my turn to nod.
“I’m going to wake Jason and get some supplies,” I told Skye as we walked up the beach. “Meet at the firepit in twenty?”
“Perfect.”
Twenty minutes later, Skye walked up to the firepit. Nikolai followed her like a pale puppy, complete with a goofy grin. Something was up. Skye wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Ready, Skye?” I had a pineapple and three fish, all fire-roasted, thanks to Jason. No time for wraps, but protein was protein. “We’re going to eat, then go.”
“Rives.” Skye came over, and as Nikolai followed, she turned to him, held up one hand, and shook her head. Nikolai stepped back.
“He’s well trained, I see,” I said. Beside me, Jason snorted.
“I’m sorry,” Skye said. “He asked me where I was going and I pointed to the mountain. And he said he wanted to come.”
“He said that?” I asked skeptically.
“Well”—her cheeks flushed—“he actually said, ‘Me come?’ but I know he wants to go. Rives, he’s been sitting in this City for weeks. And this gate will be his, too. So why not?”
“Because he’s never been on Search. Because he’ll slow us down. Because I can’t read him and if we get into trouble he’s a team variable I don’t know where to fit. Skye”—I paused—“this isn’t your average Search. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“It’s not your average Search,” she agreed. “A direct scouting mission, not an escape.” She glanced at Nikolai, who waved and smiled. “It feels wrong to tell him no, Rives. Why do we get to decide?” she asked quietly.
I didn’t have an answer that didn’t make me feel like a controlling jerk.
“Fine.” I sighed. “Let’s go.” I turned to Jason. “Will you help keep an eye on the rook?”
“No problem.” He looked at Skye.
“I meant Nikolai.” I fought not to snap. Skye could handle herself. Plus, my eye was already on her. I waved Nikolai over. “Let’s pack and roll.”
“And hope the gates roll, too,” Jason said. “Wait—scratch that.” He ran one hand through his mop of hair. “Let’s hope we find what we’re looking for.”
“Well said, bro. Well said.”
I clapped Jason on the shoulder. We ate quickly, then set off on the ultimate Search, looking for the ultimate prize.
Skye and I took lead; Jason and Nikolai took rear. I actually felt better with a foursome as we trekked.
Balance reigned.
The mountain loomed over us, watching.
“What do you want to do?” Skye asked as we worked our way through the south lava field. Smooth ripples of black rock, baked under the Nil sun for enough centuries to crack. The meadow winked grass green in the distance at the black mountain’s base. “After Nil, I mean?”
I thought about her question; it was the same one I’d asked her last night.
“Short term? Hang with my parents, I guess, take the
bac
—it’s the French equivalent of a high school diploma—play football. Long term? Maybe play football, maybe become a photojournalist. I’ve lived my whole life traveling. Seeing the world, noticing it. I can’t imagine doing anything else. I can’t imagine a job where I sit still.” I lapsed into silence.
“And by football, you’re talking about soccer, right?” Skye said.
“Right. My last club was in Paris.”
She looked thoughtful. “I bet France is beautiful.” Her sigh was wistful.
“It is.”
“I’ve never been to Europe, just a million tropical islands.” She smiled. “But one day.”
“One day,” I agreed.
Nil fed off our dreams, I felt it. The sun grew hotter, the air thicker, like the island breathed in our words, our hopes. Then it stilled completely.
Noon
, I thought, caught off guard.
Merde.
I looked at Skye; she was looking at me.
“Turn,” she whispered, her hand finding mine.
Should I go? Save myself?
Stay? Help the rest? Risk checking out?
Skye’s eyes were pleading.
For me to stay? For me to go? For something I couldn’t read?
She grabbed my arms and spun me around as Jason screamed.
The shimmering wall flew past me, skimming the ground like a liquid rocket. A furious single flying fast, it rolled over Jason without stopping. The last thing I saw was his face: shock, disbelief, fury, sadness, a roiling mix of emotion twisting his face into a living portrait of
The Scream.
The gate collapsed into a single black dot—and then disappeared.
Jason was gone.
Our team’s balance was gone.
Nikolai stood ten meters away, jaw dangling, arms wrapped tight.
“Holy crap,” Skye said.
Should I have caught it?
Was that mine?
Jason made it
, I breathed.
That’s what matters.
Skye stared at the place Jason vanished. “I hope he told Miya good-bye,” she murmured.
“Me too.” Hell, I wished I’d told him good-bye. Told him how much I trusted him, how much I thought of him. That he was more of a man than most I’d ever met. So many words left unsaid. I hoped he knew.
No regrets
, Natalie would tell me, even as she hugged me.
I closed my eyes, feeling the lingering strength of Skye’s hand, feeling the hole left by Jason’s escape.
“Let’s get to it,” I told Skye. I knew I needed to sort out my feelings for Skye before I regretted something else, too.
Focus.
Pay attention.
Inattentiveness can get you killed.
Mind refocused, I set a strong pace. Nikolai kept up. He even draped a cloth over his head and shoulders as sun protection, a wise veteran move.
But he wasn’t a veteran.
The void Jason left brushed cool against my spine. His eyes would be on the rocks, on the grasses, watching our backs.
Time to finally learn to watch your own, Rives.
The island’s stillness made me hyperaware. Just like on the last Search with Raj, the lack of small animals was disturbing.
Maybe it’s why the leopard staked out the City
, I thought. Nothing moved, nothing chirped.
Not even a rabbit—which used to be a given—to snare.
I pondered Nil’s wildlife—or lack of it—as we neared the meadow. To the right, Mount Nil jutted from the ground, a black beast with emerald blotches, butting against the meadow’s southern edge.
“The gate has to be on the backside,” Skye said as she studied the mountain. “The eastern backside, actually. Which means we have to go through the meadow, or at least around it, because the southern route is blocked by lava, right?”