NIKOLAI (Her Russian Protector #4) (39 page)

After all the horror we'd seen and survived in
the last month, I shared his sentiment. "There's always tomorrow,
Kolya. We can't let the good end here."

His lips twitched with the hint of a smile. "Is
that your way of telling me there has to be balance?"

"Maybe."

Nikolai's expression grew taut. He gripped my
hand even tighter. "I'm sorry that we can't get out,
Vee."

"Out? Of the life?" I shook my head. "It
doesn't matter. We're together. You're alive. I'm alive. That's
what's important."

"Maksim made it clear today when we spoke
privately that he'll let me run my crew and Houston as I see
fit—but he'll still expect me to do certain things for the
family."

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you I'm not
disappointed." If I wanted him to be truthful with me, I had to be
truthful with him. "You probably going to think I'm silly and
childish but I've always sort of dreamed that I'd be the one to get
you out. How messed up is it that I'm the one that forced you in
even deeper?"

"It's not silly or childish to want the best
for someone you love. You saved my life today." He swallowed hard.
"If it was only about loving you, Vee, I'd be out in a
heartbeat."

"I know."

"Please don't ever doubt how much I love
you."

"I don't. Never." I rubbed my thumb over the
star tattooed on the back of his hand. "That doesn't mean I'm ever
going to stop trying to save you."

"I can't be saved, Vee. I am what I
am."

I shifted in my seat and pushed onto my knees.
Leaning forward, I cupped his face and peered down into his haunted
eyes. "And I love you. All of you. Just as you are."

"Even if this is our life?"

"We get to choose how we live. If
Maksim says you can run Houston the way you see fit, run it
your
way."

"I've been pulling us out of risky business.
I've been growing our legitimate interests. We actually earn more
through legal means than we do on the wrong side of the law.
Between Samovar, the storage centers, real estate, construction,
the car washes, these parking garages—we're doing extremely well. I
think most of us are actually relieved to be working in gray areas
instead of fully in the black."

I couldn't believe he was telling me all about
his organization's income streams. "You've been building those
legitimate interests for a long time."

He nodded and glanced toward the
windshield. "That night I nearly killed you, I decided that I had
to change. That
we
had to change. Our business couldn't be built on death and
violence. It had to be
smart
."

Nikolai turned his attention back to me. He
reached out and caressed my face. "Then you came into my life
again. You burst into Samovar like a beam of sunshine and I knew I
had to try to get out. I didn't think it would be as easy as it was
for Ivan." His lips settled into a grim line. "Not that it was easy
for him. He fought like hell to get out alive."

Fear stabbed my gut. "Nikolai, please don't try
anything risky. Maksim might be your father but he's not the type
of man to let you just walk away from him."

"After today, I'm fully aware of how far he's
willing to go to keep me in line." Nikolai's thumb swiped my lower
lip. "I dreamed that someday, maybe, if I was very lucky, you might
become mine. I kept that hope alive by making plans to get out and
by moving my crew farther and farther from the darkest
line."

He sifted his fingers through my hair and
brushed our mouths together. Guilt radiated from him in powerful
waves. "I wanted to be able to offer you so much more than this
life. I wanted to give you something better than this."

"Nikolai…"

He claimed me with a tender kiss, pushing all
the love he felt for me into the mating of our mouths. Peering
intently into my eyes, he whispered with such anguish, "There's no
fairytale ending for us, Vee."

"Kolya." I clasped his face and nuzzled our
noses together. "I don't need a fairytale. I only need
you."

"And what if one day you wake up and I'm no
longer enough?"

"Do you plan to stop loving me?"

"Never," he vowed stridently.

Smiling, I tapped his mouth, "Then you'll
always be enough."

Nikolai caressed my back. "Let's go home. I
think we could both use a good night's sleep."

Feeling playful, I asked, "Just
sleep?"

He laughed and gave my backside a swat. "With
you in my bed? Never."

Giggling, I kissed him one last time and
slipped back into my seat. As we made the long, circling drive down
through the many levels of the parking garage, I held tightly to
Nikolai's hand and thought about our future.

Maksim might have outmaneuvered me today but I
was still learning. Someday, his power would wane and then?
Well—then we'd make our move.

Until that day, we'd do
things
our
way.
We'd done something very good today—and that was a
start.

Epilogue

Four Months Later

"Vee?" Nikolai came downstairs still adjusting
his tie. He glanced at his watch and frowned. That impromptu
lovemaking session in the shower had put them behind schedule.
Refusing to be late for her graduation, he called out for her
again. "Vee?"

"I'm in the library."

He followed the sound of her sweet voice and
found her wrapping the last of the baby gifts for Dimitri and
Benny. "What are you doing?"

"I got nervous while I was waiting for you so
I thought I'd finish wrapping these things for the shower
tomorrow." She waved the card she'd chosen. "Sign this?"

He nodded and took the bright pink card from
her. It had a nice message written inside. He scrawled his
signature in the spot she'd indicated before handing it back to
her. Counting the big boxes stacked on the desk, he asked, "Do you
think you got them enough gifts?"

She rolled her eyes. "This baby shower is a
big deal. Besides, it's the first baby in our group."

Nikolai's heart threatened to burst with love
as he touched her belly. "But not the last."

Smiling up at him, she covered his hand. "We
promised not to say anything yet."

He kissed her tenderly. "My lips are
sealed."

They'd only discovered their happy news a few
days earlier. Vee had been sure that her exhaustion and nausea were
due to finishing up her finals and preparing her first
international show at one of the galleries Niels owned in London,
but he'd suspected it was something much different.

She'd actually laughed at him when he'd handed
her the test but a few minutes later she'd emerged from their
bathroom with a shocked expression. He'd been concerned that she
wasn't ready but then she'd smiled at him. The same love and
excitement he felt had been reflected in her eyes.

"Do you feel all right?" He rubbed her back.
"If you get tired and want to leave your party early, tell me and
we'll go."

"I'm fine." She rose on tiptoes to kiss him.
"Don't worry so much."

Now that she carried his child, he was more
worried about her than ever. He'd allowed her to shed Sergei's
constant guard but had second thoughts. Perhaps Danny wouldn’t mind
taking on the role of her driver and guard…

"What are you thinking about?"

"That we're going to be late for your
graduation," he said and tugged the tape from her hand. "We can
finish this tomorrow."

"We still haven't gotten Erin and Ivan a gift.
Their wedding is in two weeks."

"I have something in mind for
them."

"Oh?" On her way out of the library, she
stopped to rub the wooden frame of the painting Niels had given her
as a wedding gift. She considered the café scene under a starry
night her good luck charm. "Wish me luck, Vincent!"

Nikolai shook his head at her silliness and
escorted her into the hallway. "The thing I have in mind for Ivan
and Erin isn't quite that expensive."

She shot him a knowing smile as she grabbed
her purse. "I asked Niels to have dinner with us when he's in town
in early June."

Nikolai grunted softly but didn't say
anything. He still didn't like the billionaire art collector and
investor but he tolerated him. Despite the obscenely expensive
wedding gift, Niels didn't seem the least bit interested in truly
trying to seduce Vivian. It was all a game to him—and one Vivian
refused to play.

As they headed down the sidewalk toward Kostya
and the idling car waiting for them, Nikolai enjoyed the relaxed
sensation of knowing everything was all right. Since January,
things had quieted down around Houston. There were still the
occasional squabbles and tiffs but nothing like the hell they'd all
survived in the winter.

Sliding into the backseat with Vivian, he
clutched her hand and dragged it onto his lap. He toyed with her
wedding band as Kostya drove them toward the university. He'd never
shed those old anxieties that arose when things were good but he
wasn’t going to dwell on them.

He had Vivian by his side and his child
growing in her womb. Life would never be normal for them—but it
would be filled with laughter and love.

And that was enough for him.

Author's Note

Thank you so much for sticking with
me through these first four installments of the
Her Russian Protector
series. I hope
you enjoyed Vivian and Nikolai's story as much as I enjoyed writing
it.

I'm often asked if there will be
more books in this series—and the answer is yes! Sergei, Kostya,
Danny—they'll have books in the near future. I also write the
occasional short story featuring the couples from the first books
and offer them for free at my
website
.

Kelly Connolly, the former Marine
and bodyguard/bouncer who made a few appearances in YURI and
NIKOLAI, will be kicking off the
Fighting
Connollys
series in the fall.

You can find me online at
RoxieRiver.com
or on
Facebook
. I also have a
newsletter
that I use to
send out new release information, links to free reads and offers of
swag.

Roxie's Backlist

Her Russian Protector
Series

IVAN

DIMITRI

YURI

NIKOLAI

Seduced By… Series

Seduced by the Congressman 1

Seduced by the Congressman 2

Seduced by the Loan Shark

Erotica

Chance's Bad,
Bad Girl

Halftime With
Craig

Tease

Eddie's
Cuffs 1

Eddie's
Cuffs 2

Eddie's
Cuffs 3

Search and Seizure
(Cops & Hotties #1)

Disturbing the
Peace (Cops & Hotties #2)

Quid Pro Quo (Cops
& Hotties #3)