Night Tide (44 page)

No,!I’m!fine.!There’s!a!man!here!by!the!name!of!Sanders!who!

says!he!knows!you.!Blake!Sanders…!You!do…!Yes,!he’s!standing!

right! in! front! of! me…! No,! of! course! not.! I’m! fine…! Other! than!

say!a!few!things!I!found!upsetting,!no…!No,!there’s!no!need.!I!

just!wanted!to!be!sure!you!knew!him…!No,!really,!dear,!that’s!

not!necessary.!I’ll!talk!with!you!soon…!Yes,!goodbye.”!

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!

She!hung!up!and!appraised!me,!then!returned!to!the!couch!

and!sat!primly!with!her!hands!on!her!knees.!

!

“My! daughter! seems! to! think! you’re! dangerous,! Mr.!

Sanders.!Are!you?”!

!

I!shook!my!head.!“I’m!no!danger!to!you,!Mrs.!Baines.!I!wish!

I!didn’t!have!to!bother!you!at!all.!Fact!is,!I!think!Keely’s!the!one!

in!trouble.!I!think!she’s!in!over!her!head.”!

!

“You! may! be,! too,”! Tucker! said! softly.! He! glanced! at! his!

watch.! “I’d! say! you! have! about! twenty! minutes! before! the!

cavalry!gets!here.”!

!

I! blinked! at! him,! uncomprehending! for! a! moment.! The!

problem! with! an! ADD! mind! was! that! I! sometimes! focused! on!

one!thing!to!the!exclusion!of!everything!else.!It!hadn’t!occurred!

to!me!until!then!how!truly!well!Keely!had!played!me.!She!had!

the!vast!resources!of!her!father’s!company!available!to!her.!Of!

course!she’d!call!in!the!troops.!Just!like!she!had!at!Wink’s.!!

!

“Colin!Wilson,”!I!said,!the!sudden!sense!of!urgency!sending!

adrenaline!racing!through!me.!

!

The!blood!drained!from!Pepper!Baines’s!face,!painted!lips!

against!her!pale!cheeks!temporarily!giving!her!the!appearance!

of!a!very!old!geisha.!

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!

!

Chapter&44&

!

!

Tucker! looked! from! his! mother! to! me! and! back! again,!

smile!gone.!“You!two!have!things!to!talk!about.!If!you’ll!excuse!

me,!Mother,!I’ve!got!work!to!do.”!

!

She!stared!blankly!until!he!was!halfway!to!the!door!before!

she!realized!he!was!leaving.!

!

“Tucker?”!

!

He! turned! and! saw! the! expression! on! her! face,! at! once!

forlorn,!fearful!and!defiant.!

!

“As! far! as! I’m! concerned,! this! is! none! of! my! business,!

Mother.!I!didn’t!hear!a!thing.!You!can!tell!me!later,!or!not.!Your!

choice.!Otherwise,!it’s!forgotten.”!

!

He!spun!on!his!heel!before!she!could!reply.!As!he!passed!

me,!in!a!low!voice!he!said,!“Careful.!I!don’t!care!what!she!did.!

But!hurt!her!and!you’re!a!dead!man.”!

!

His!words!still!hung!in!the!air!when!the!door!closed!softly!

behind! me.! I! crossed! to! a! chair! opposite! the! couch! and! sat!

leaning!forward,!elbows!on!my!knees.!

!

“I’m!sorry—”!

!

“Tell! me! what! you! think! you! know,! Mr.! Sanders.”! Her!

mouth!was!a!grim!line,!white!at!the!corners.!

!

“I!think!you!and!Colin!Wilson!met!somehow.!Had!an!affair!

of!some!kind.!Keely’s!the!result.!I!really!don’t!know!anything,!

and!can’t!surmise!much!beyond!what!I’ve!just!told!you.”!

!

“Why!do!you!want!to!dig!up!the!past?!What’s!the!point?”!

!

I! considered! the! most! convincing! way! to! tell! her.! “You!

knew! what! Wilson! was.! He! and! his! wife! and! baby! fled! to!

Canada!when!things!got!too!hot!for!them!here!in!the!’Seventies.!

After!that,!they!dropped!out!of!sight!until!they!were!linked!to!a!

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campus! bombing! in! the! ’Eighties.! The! one! that! killed! your!

daughter!Jill.”!

!

“How?! How! were! they! linked?! The! man! who! did! it! was!

caught!and!convicted.”!

!

I!was!asking!her!to!give!up!too!much.!It!was!time!for!me!to!

’fess!up,!not!her.!Caprice!sent!words!tumbling!out!of!my!mouth.!

!

“He! didn’t! do! it.! I’ve! never! told! anyone! this,! but! I! was!

there.! Four! men! came! out! of! the! building! right! before! the!

explosion.! Wink—my! friend—was! still! inside! when! the! bomb!

went!off.!When!the!girl!…!when!Jill…”!Tucker’s!words!echoed!in!

my! head,! and! I! struggled! to! reign! in! the! thought.! I! wondered!

how!long!it!had!been!since!my!last!dose!of!meds.!“One!of!the!

men!went!back!inside!just!before!the!gunshots.”!

!

“I! don’t! understand.! Why! didn’t! you! say! anything?! Why!

didn’t!you!go!to!the!police?”!

!

The! shame! I’d! felt,! had! carried! with! me! all! those! years,!

came! rushing! back.! “I! was! afraid.! Afraid! of! losing! my! college!

scholarship.! Afraid! of! going! to! jail.! I! was! a! kid.! I! couldn’t! be!

sure! that! my! friend! hadn’t! done! it.! But! I! should! have! known!

better.! He! didn’t! deserve! to! go! to! prison,! and! it’s! my! fault.! I!

have!to!live!with!that.”!

!

She! looked! at! me! with! sadness.! Pity,! too,! which! made! it!

worse.!

!

I!remembered!her!question.!“The!Wilsons!were!associated!

with! the! people! who! initially! took! credit! for! the! bombing.! An!

environmental!group.!The!group!retracted!the!claim!a!few!days!

later.”!

!

She! thought! for! a! moment.! “And! Keely?! What! does! she!

have!to!do!with!this?”!

!

“She! wants! to! avenge! Jill’s! death.! She! wants! the! people!

responsible.”!

!

“After! all! this! time?! I! thought! sure! she’d! gotten! over! it.!

Though! you! never! really! do,! do! you?! Have! you! ever! lost!

someone!close,!Mr.!Sanders?”!

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!

An! image! of! Cole! flashed! through! my! head,! and! how! the!

first!time!I’d!seen!Keely’s!blond!mop!had!reminded!me!of!him.!

Before!her!face!had!reminded!me!of!someone!else,!that!is.!

!

I! nodded! slowly! and! swallowed! the! lump! rising! in! my!

throat.! “She! doesn’t! think! Perry! Langford! had! anything! to! do!

with!the!bombing.!She!says!she!didn’t!believe!it!at!his!trial,!and!

it’s!been!weighing!on!her.”!

!

“And!you?!You!believe!your!friend.”!

!

“I!always!did.!I!just!didn’t!want!to!admit!it.”!

!

She!nodded!knowingly.!“Trust!is!a!fragile!thing.”!!

!

“I! should! have! believed! him.! Doubt! was! the! only! way! I!

could!excuse!my!own!cowardice.”!

!

Her!silence!confirmed!my!self6assessment.!

!

“I!think!she!may!kill!them,”!I!said.!“The!Wilsons.”!

!

I! expected! shock,! dismay.! Instead,! she! frowned! and!

seemed!to!think!it!through.!

!

“Keely’s!no!killer.”!!

!

“Not! yet,! maybe.! Grief! does! strange! things! to! people.!

Especially!when!it’s!festered!this!long.!The!guilt,!though,!will!be!

far!worse!if!she!kills!her!own!father.”!

!

She!stared!at!me!for!a!moment,!and!sighed.!

!

“I! don’t! know! what! good! this! will! do! anyone,! but! since!

you’ve!already!guessed!so!much…!This!may!be!difficult!for!you!

to!understand,!given!your!age.!Women!had!few!opportunities!

in! my! day.! I! graduated!
magna* cum* laude
! from! Stanford,! Mr.!

Sanders.!But!I!was!expected!to!be!a!dutiful!wife!and!mother.!So,!

I!married!an!ambitious!man,!had!children,!and!played!my!part.!

Rather! well,! I! might! add.! My! husband! went! to! work! for! my!

father’s!company.!Now!he!runs!it.”!

!

“Ross!Industries.”!

!

She! nodded.! “I! entertained! my! husband’s! clients,! kept! a!

tidy!house!and!raised!the!children.!Don’t!get!me!wrong.!I!loved!

my! husband.! I! still! do,! I! suppose,! though! it’s! much! different!

now.”!

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!

Her!gaze!wandered!off,!mind!lost!on!a!twisting!branch!of!

memory!lane.!With!a!little!shake!she!came!back!to!the!present!

and!focused!on!me.!

!

“God! help! me,! I! was! bored.! A! venial! sin,! but! a! sin!

nonetheless.! I! had! two! young! children,! a! husband! who! was!

rarely!home!at!the!time,!and!too!much!time!on!my!hands.!We!

had! household! help,! even! then,! so! I! had! little! to! do! when! I!

wasn’t! with! Jillian! and! Tucker.! And! the! world! was! changing!

around! us,! first! with! the! civil! rights! movement! and! then!

Vietnam! and! the! student! protests.! It! sounds! clichéd,! Mr.!

Sanders,! but! my! world! was! in! as! much! turmoil! as! that! of! the!

world!around!me.!

!

“I!was!raised!in!a!family!of!conservative!ideals,!in!a!society!

to! which! both! values! and! appearances! mattered.! But! for! the!

first! time,! I! saw! people! who! actually! lived! according! to! their!

values,! who! had! purpose,! and! passion! for! their! ideals.! It! was!

literally! breathtaking,! dizzying,! to! contemplate! doing!

something! that! mattered,! standing! for! something! besides! a!

certain!level!of!wealth!and!privilege.”!

!

She!paused!and!looked!out!the!window.!Tucker’s!comment!

about! the! cavalry! worried! me,! but! I! didn’t! dare! push! her.! My!

breath!caught!and!I!held!it.!She!faced!me!finally.!

!

“We! met! in! nineteen6sixty6seven,! the! ‘summer! of! love.’! I!

went!to!Haight6Ashbury!that!summer.!My!parents!still!lived!in!

the! city,! and! I! visited! often,! stayed! there! sometimes! for! days!

when!Tucker!was!gone.!I!walked!the!district!just!to!drink!in!the!

sights!and!sounds!of!all!the!kids!in!their!wild!clothes!and!long!

hair,!the!smell!of!the!hashish!they!smoked!and!the!incense!they!

burned.!I!went!to!Golden!Gate!Park!and!listened!to!the!music,!

ate!the!food!they!handed!out,!and!talked!to!people.!And!yes,!I!

met! Colin! Wilson,! young,! charming,! charismatic,! decent6

looking,! and! seemingly! fascinated! by! what!
I
! had! to! say.! Colin!

Wilson! was! interested! in!
me
,! my! ideas,! my! thoughts.! And,! I!

have!to!admit,!my!body,!too,!even!after!two!children.!

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!

“He!wasn’t!dishonest!with!me.!I!knew!he!was!married.!Or!

involved,!at!least.!Corinne,!I!believe!her!name!was.!I’m!sure!she!

was!there!somewhere.!Maybe!not.!Perhaps!they!hadn’t!gotten!

married! yet! at! that! point.! Maybe! he! left! her! behind! in!

Wisconsin,!or!wherever!it!was!they!went!to!school.!I!do!know!

they!were!together!in!some!fashion.!More!important,!I!knew!
I
!

was!married.!

!

“You! had! to! have! been! there,! though,! to! understand! the!

atmosphere.! Free! love.! Free! everything.! People! were! taking!

drugs! and! making! love! right! out! in! the! open,! without! fear! or!

shame.! None! of! them,! myself! included,! realized! at! the! time!

there’s! truth! to! that! old! adage! about! free! lunches.! There! may!

not! be! an! entry! fee,! but! people! sure! as! hell! have! to! pay!

somewhere! down! the! line.! And! I! don’t! use! that! word! lightly,!

Mr.!Sanders.!There!is!a!hell.!I!hope!I!don’t!end!up!there,!but!if!I!

do!it’s!because!I’ve!done!things!to!deserve!it.”!

!

“I!doubt!that.”!

!

“It! wasn’t! just! that! I! committed! adultery,! Mr.! Sanders.! I!

think!I!might!even!have!forgiven!myself!for!that!if!I’d!fallen!in!

love,!or!if!my!husband!had!become!gravely!ill!or!incapacitated!

somehow.!No,!I!deserve!whatever!comes!to!me!because!I!didn’t!

care.!I!didn’t!give!two!hoots!about!Colin!Wilson.!He!was!just!my!

excuse!to!sow!some!wild!oats.”!She!paused.!“Why!do!
you
!care?!

If!he!did!cause!my!other!daughter’s!death,!maybe!Keely!is!quite!

justified!in!killing!him.”!

!

I! shook! my! head.! “He! wasn’t! there.! I! care! because! he’s! a!

parent,! too.! He! and! Connie—Corinne—have! a! son! and! a!

daughter.!I’ve!known!them!ever!since!I!was!in!college.!Charlie!

was!my!roommate,!my!fraternity!brother.!He’s!a!cop!now.!He!

got! shot! trying! to! defend! his! parents! from! some! mercenaries!

Keely!seems!to!be!working!with.”!

!

“I’m!sorry!about!your!friend.!This!business!seems!to!have!

touched!you!as!much!as!me.”!

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!

I!started!to!brush!her!concern!aside,!but!saw!from!her!face!

how!genuine!it!was.!!

!

“Thank! you.! Look,! if! the! Wilsons! ordered! the! bombing,!

then! they! certainly! should! pay! for! it,! and! for! Jill’s! death.! In! a!

courtroom.!It’s!not!Keely’s!call,!not!her!job.”!

!

“Keely!was!my!payment!for!all!that!free!love,”!she!said.!“I!

never!once!regretted!the!decision!to!carry!her!and!give!birth!to!

her.!I!don’t!want!anything!to!happen!to!her,!Mr.!Sanders.!Can!

you!stop!her?”!

!

“I!don’t!know.!I’ll!try.”!!

!

I! didn’t! know! where! I! stood! with! Keely! anymore.! She!

seemed! to! have! chosen! sides! in! the! shootout! at! Wink’s.! But!

then!we’d!probably!never!been!on!the!same!side.!

!

Pepper!thought!about!what!I!said.!Then,!“I!truly!believed!I!