Night Tide (33 page)

!

“He!knows!something.!I’m!sure!of!it.”!

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!

I! wasn’t! sure! of! anything,! particularly! the! reception! we’d!

get! from! a! guy! who’d! had! more! than! twenty! years! to! grow! a!

chip!on!his!shoulder.!!

!

“Why’d!you!change!your!mind,!anyway?”!she!said.!

!

“I! didn’t.! Not! really.! I! owe! him.! It’s! bugged! me! over! the!

years.!You!know,!one!of!those!things!you!did!or!said!you!wish!

you! could! take! back?! Get! a! do6over?! I! just! figured! it! was! too!

late.!Until!you!showed!up,!that!is,!and!let!me!know!he!was!out.”!

!

I!stood!there!and!let!the!breeze!caress!my!face,!emptying!

my! head! of! everything! but! the! images! surrounding! me.! Dark!

blue!water!dappled!with!silver!flashes!of!light!and!dotted!with!

white! triangles! of! fabric! taut! and! pregnant! with! wind.! A!

cyaneous! sky! deepened! by! degrees! to! ultramarine! overhead,!

reflecting!the!deep!water!below.!Shoreline!bluffs!and!receding!

hills! lush! and! verdant! with! dark! shades! of! emerald! and! virid!

conifers.!Sage!mountains!in!the!distance!topped!with!dollops!of!

frozen!whipped!cream.!

!

For! a! moment,! a! fleeting! desire! to! turn! around! and! go!

home! and! spend! the! day! in! bed! with! the! woman! beside! me!

nearly! intoxicated! me.! But! the! rift! I’d! caused! seemed!

unbridgeable.!Tension!still!radiated!from!her,!a!low!hum!that!

vibrated! through! the! soles! of! my! feet,! tenor! harmony! to! the!

bass! of! the! engine! below! decks.! I! couldn’t! tell! if! it! was! anger,!

hurt,!disappointment,!and!didn’t!have!the!courage!to!find!out.!

But!something!else!drove!the!fantasy!out!of!my!head.!A!feeling!

I! still! couldn’t! articulate.!
This* just* won’t* work* between* us,*

darling.*But*believe*me,*it’s*not*me,*it’s*you.
!

!

And! there! was! still! the! question! of! why! I! kept! thinking!

about!someone!else.!Someone!who!had!displaced!Molly!in!my!

thoughts.! But! someone! who! wasn’t! even! in! the! picture! any!

longer.!!

!

The! Kingston! ferry! dock! hove! into! view.! Wordlessly,! I!

turned!and!walked!back!inside!to!the!companionway!down!to!

the! car! deck.! I! climbed! in! and! watched! the! well6rehearsed!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

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dance!of!the!deck!crew!as!the!ferry!glided!in!toward!the!dock,!

deck! suddenly! rumbling! loudly! as! the! captain! threw! the!

engines! into! reverse,! churning! the! water! alongside! a! foamy!

green.! The! boat! slid! slowly! into! its! berth.! A! lone! cormorant!

perched! atop! one! of! the! massive! pilings,! wings! pinned! to! the!

sky! by! its! alulae,! a! pterodactylean! crucifix.! It! remained!

motionless!as!we!slid!past.!

!

The! ferry! settled! against! the! dock! with! a! gentle! bump.!

Deck!hands!made!it!fast!with!thick!hawsers!thrown!over!heavy!

cleats!bolted!to!the!hydraulic!gangplank!already!being!lowered!

onto!the!deck.!Car!engines!fired!up,!and!a!deckhand!waved!the!

middle!lane!off!the!boat.!I!fastened!my!seat!belt!and!started!the!

car.!Brake!lights!flashed!in!the!line!ahead!as!drivers!put!their!

cars!in!gear.!The!passenger!door!opened!and!Keely!climbed!in!

with!a!smile!on!her!face,!a!little!breathless.!Easing!my!foot!off!

the!brake,!I!let!the!car!roll,!following!the!line!ahead.!!

!

“Cutting!it!a!little!close?”!

!

She!shrugged.!“I’ve!never!been!on!a!ferry.!I!wanted!to!see!

it!come!into!the!dock.”!She!strapped!herself!in!and!looked!out!

the!windshield.!“Where!we!headed?”!

!

“Other!side!of!Hood!Canal.!Why?”!

!

“Are!we!in!any!special!hurry?”!

!

“I!guess!not.”!

!

“Buy!a!girl!breakfast?!I’m!hungry.”!

!

As! soon! as! she! said! it,! the! coffee! churned! the! acid! in! my!

stomach,!and!I!realized!I!was!famished,!too.!

!

“Sure,!why!not?”!

!

I!passed!up!the!few!restaurants!along!the!highway!close!to!

the!ferry!terminal—a!couple!of!pubs,!a!pizza!joint!and!a!family!

restaurant! that! wasn’t! open! yet.! On! the! other! side! of! town,! I!

started! to! pull! into! a! fast! food! restaurant! where! the! food! at!

least! was! cheap! when! I! spotted! a! little! place! behind! it! that!

looked! like! it! served! decent! coffee! and! baked! goods.! It! was!

nearly!empty—either!too!early!still!or!a!bad!sign!regarding!the!

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food—so!we!had!our!pick!of!tables.!Strong!scents!of!cinnamon,!

butter!and!yeast!suggested!we’d!get!a!far!better!breakfast!here!

than!at!the!fast!food!joint!next!door.!

!

Keely! led! the! way! to! a! table! in! the! back,! away! from! the!

windows.!She!eased!her!purse!off!her!shoulder!and!hung!it!on!

the! back! of! her! chair.! A! waitress! stopped! at! the! table! with!

menus!and!a!pot!of!coffee.!We!accepted!both!gratefully.!After!a!

minute! or! two! of! perusing! the! choices,! I! set! the! menu! to! the!

side! and! took! a! sip! of! coffee.! Keely! did! the! same! a! moment!

later,!gaze!drifting!around!the!room,!avoiding!me.!

!

“Well,!this!is!awkward,”!I!said.!

!

A! smile! bloomed! and! faded! quickly.! She! toyed! with! her!

coffee!cup,!twisting!it!one!way!then!the!other.!I!waited!her!out.!

!

“I’m!sorry!about!last!night,”!she!said.!

!

I!rubbed!my!cheek,!still!feeling!the!imprint!of!her!fingers.!

“I!think!I’ll!live.!Anyway,!I!probably!deserved!it.”!

!

“You! did.! But! I! …! well,! I! guess! I! didn’t! have! to! hit! you! so!

hard.”!She!paused.!“You!said!you!weren’t!ready.!For!what?”!

!

“For!what!we!did.!I!mean—”!!

!

“Look,!I!don’t!have!any!claim!on!you.!I’m!not!so!delusional!

I!thought!we’d!fall!madly!in!love!based!on!a!one6night!stand.”!

!

Relief!flooded!through!me.!I!tried!not!to!show!it.!“I!didn’t!

think!you!were.”!!

!

“Oh,! you! mean! you’re! not! ready! to! have! sex?! Why?”! Her!

eyes!widened.!“There’s!someone!else.”!

!

“There!was.!We’re!divorced.”!

!

“It!was!recent,!I!take!it.”!

!

“It’s!been!a!while.!I!just!haven’t!gotten!used!to!the!idea.!It’s!

hard!to!talk!about!it.”!

!

“You!still!love!her?”!

!

I!cocked!my!head,!found!myself!listening!to!the!pounding!

in!my!chest!as!if!it!would!give!me!the!answer!to!that!question.!

And!felt!confused!over!who!it!pounded!for,!Molly!or…!Talking!

about!Molly!was!easier.!

Night&Tide
—Sherer&

221&

!

“Yes!and!no.!I!guess!I!love!what!we!had.!I!can’t!figure!out!

why!we!aren’t!trying!to!get!back!to!that!place.!But!we’re!not!the!

same!people!we!were!then.”!I!searched!her!face!to!see!if!that!

made!any!kind!of!sense.!“What!about!you?”!

!

She!looked!up.!“I!was!married!once.!It!didn’t!take.!Lasted!

only!a!few!years.!I!don’t!think!about!it!much.”!

!

She!fell!silent,!absently!looking!out!the!windows!across!the!

room.!

!

“So,!you’re!taking!the!day!off!work?”!I!said.!“Don’t!you!have!

to!call!in!sick!or!something?”!

!

“I’ve!been!taking!some!time!off.”!

!

“So!that!call!the!other!night…?”!

!

“I!stay!in!touch.”!

!

“What!is!it!you!do,!again?”!

!

“I!told!you,!consulting.”!She!waved!a!hand.!“I!don’t!want!to!

talk!about!work.!It’s!boring.”!

!

She! seemed! eager! to! avoid! the! subject.! I! was! about! to!

press!when!the!waitress!showed!up!to!take!our!order.!As!soon!

as! the! woman! left,! Keely! turned! the! conversation! to! another!

topic.!!

!

When! we! finished! eating,! Keely! excused! herself! to! go! to!

the! restroom.! I! told! her! I! needed! to! gas! up! the! Toyota! and!

suggested! she! meet! me! at! the! station! across! the! street.! She!

hadn’t!shown!by!the!time!I!topped!off!the!tank.!I!pulled!away!

from!the!pump!and!parked!by!the!side!of!the!service!bay.!I!was!

about!to!go!look!for!her!when!I!spotted!her!crossing!the!street.!

She!circled!around!the!back!of!the!car!and!got!in.!!

!

“Problems?”!I!said.!

!

“No,!everything’s!fine.!Sorry!it!took!so!long.”!She!offered!a!

hesitant!smile,!but!no!explanation.!

!

The! road! out! of! town! meandered! north! up! through! the!

little!town!of!Port!Gamble,!then!west!to!the!floating!bridge!over!

Hood!Canal.!From!there!we!turned!south!down!a!little!finger!of!

land!between!the!canal!and!Dabob!Bay.!From!Kingston,!we!had!

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less! than! thirty! miles! to! drive,! but! the! rural! two6lane! roads!

slowed!our!travel!time!to!nearly!an!hour.!The!air!conditioning,!

already! set! on! cold! storage,! struggled! to! keep! up.! I! cracked! a!

window! to! create! a! little! more! air! circulation,! but! the! heat!

slowly!won!out,!turning!the!car!into!more!bread!warmer!than!a!

fridge.!!

!

I!drew!Keely!into!conversation!a!few!times,!trying!to!elicit!

more! details! about! her—where! she! lived,! her! family! and!

friends.! She! deflected! direct! questions! with! the! skill! of! a!

fencing!champ!with!little!parries!that!left!us!still!engaged!but!

pointed!a!few!degrees!off!center.!She!was!evasive,!but!I!didn’t!

quite!understand!how!she!was!doing!it!or!whether!it!was!even!

deliberate.!We!drove!the!last!twenty!minutes!in!silence.!

!

I!turned!off!the!main!highway!onto!a!side!road!that!quickly!

ran! out! of! pavement,! changing! to! gravel.! I! slowed,! carefully!

steering! around! potholes! washed! out! by! spring! rains.! A! half6

mile! farther,! it! narrowed! to! one! lane! through! dense! trees,!

slowing! us! to! a! pace! a! jogger! could! match.! When! end! of! the!

road!appeared!to!turn!into!the!driveway!of!a!small!bungalow,!I!

pulled! over! and! stopped.! We’d! passed! only! one! other! house,!

and! the! only! noise! filtering! through! the! woods! was! the!

chirping! of! birds.! Dust! kicked! up! by! the! car! slowly! caught! up!

and!enveloped!us!in!a!brown!haze,!coating!our!sticky!exposed!

skin!with!a!fine!layer!of!mud.!The!tall!trees!gave!us!some!shade,!

but! blocked! any! breeze,! letting! the! heat! settle! on! the! forest!

floor!like!a!hot!iron.!

!

“Is!that!it?”!Keely!pointed!at!the!house!up!ahead.!

!

I! consulted! the! maps! I’d! printed! out! the! day! before! and!

shook!my!head.!“No,!we’re!going!in!the!back!way.”!

!

Throwing! the! car! in! reverse,! I! backed! up! until! I! found! a!

spot! wide! enough! to! turn! around! and! maneuvered! the! car!

facing!the!way!we’d!come.!The!house!at!the!end!of!the!road!was!

out!of!sight.!I!drove!onto!the!shoulder,!and!parked!the!car!as!

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close!in!to!the!trees!as!I!could,!nosing!it!in!between!a!couple!of!

big!firs.!!

!

“We!walk!from!here,”!I!said,!getting!out.!

!

I!shoved!the!maps!in!my!back!pocket!and!walked!around!

to!open!the!trunk.!I!retrieved!Charlie’s!gun!and!tucked!it!into!

my!waistband,!pulled!my!shirt!down!over!it,!and!pocketed!four!

of!the!extra!clips.!
This*is*Wink*we’re*talking*about*here.*He*used*

to* be* your* best* friend.
! I! took! two! clips! out! of! my! pockets! and!

started!to!put!them!back!in!the!sports!duffel.!Then!changed!my!

mind! and! slammed! the! trunk! lid.! Keely! stood! in! the! road!

waiting.!I!joined!her!and!we!walked!back!toward!the!end!of!the!

road.!

!

When! we! reached! the! driveway,! I! led! the! way! into! the!

woods,! skirted! the! house! by! a! wide! margin! and! turned! east.!

The!first!three!hundred!yards!were!slow!going.!We!picked!our!

way! through! the! undergrowth! beneath! the! thick! canopy! of!

conifers,!oaks!and!sumacs!that!blocked!out!the!sun.!The!terrain!

sloped! gently! downhill,! but! we! battled! dense! thickets! of!

blackberry! brambles! and! brush,! waded! through! seas! of! ferns!

and!went!over!or!around!fallen!tree!trunks!lush!with!moss.!But!

we! soon! broke! into! a! clearing! the! size! of! a! football! field!

covered! with! bear! grass! and! stubby! pines.! Beyond! it! was!

another!dirt!road.!!

!

The!road!descended!toward!a!point!of!land!that!poked!an!

elbow! into! the! canal.! Through! the! trees! I! caught! occasional!

glimpses! of! blue! water! both! ahead! and! to! our! right.! The! sun!

beat! us! mercilessly.! Keely! swiped! the! back! of! her! neck! and!

wiped!her!hand!on!her!slacks!as!she!shuffled!along!kicking!up!

puffs! of! dust! with! her! beige! leather! flats.! She’d! abandoned! a!

light! cotton! sweater! in! the! car.! Her! sleeveless! blouse! was!

smudged! with! dirt,! and! a! diagonal! slash! of! green! stained! one!

leg! of! her! slacks.! Her! tousled! hair! hung! in! damp! strands! and!