Night Critters (Collection) (4 page)

"You got laid?” The high-pitched squeal that reverberated through the house nearly shattered Roni's eardrums. Ana clapped one hand over her heart and pretended to faint over the arm of the chair.

Exasperated at her best friend's antics, Roni folded her arms. Ana was the most hyperactive drama queen, dead or alive. “Yes, I got laid. Did you miss the part where it was with a human?"

Exhibiting perfect muscle control, Ana flowed upright and stole Roni's cooling cup of tea from the side table. “So? I'm sleeping with a bird-slash-human. What's your point?"

Roni looked at Ana cross-eyed. “You know, Ana, not all of us are lucky enough to fall in love with a Nephylum. Damn angel-human crossbreeds keep vampires up way past their bedtime."

"Yeah, I know. Isn't he a peach?” Ana's happy sigh and soft tones happened only when she spoke of Jon. Something about her Nephylum lover calmed Ana and softened the cynicism out of her blue eyes.

"He's something.” Roni personally found the calm, soft-spoken surgeon soporific. Like all of his kind, he was a vegetarian. Hanging with him was like living with a particularly ascetic monk as far as Roni was concerned.

Ana nudged Roni back to reality. “So tell me, how did you meet this guy? What's his name? How was the sex? Is he well hung?"

"Would you slow down for a minute, you energizer vampire?"

"Sorry, please continue.” Ana's eyes crossed and she sat very nobly with her hands in her lap and her nose slightly turned toward the ceiling. Her perfect blonde hair fell down her back in a ruler straight line. She did haughty very well when she chose.

Roni tried again. “His name is Corbin. I met him online..."

"You used the dating site I signed you up for?” Another squeal from Ana shattered Roni's eardrums.

"Yes, I did.” Roni shook her finger at her friend seriously. “For one, Ana, I am not chubalicious. For two, I am only five foot five with my heels on."

Ana grinned, her fangs gleaming brightly. “You'd be taller if you had sex upside down."

Beleaguered, Roni rolled her eyes to the coffered ceiling at the joking suggestion. She stole the cup back from Ana and drank the cold tea for fortification. “Nowhere near the point I was trying to make. Thank you for the Internet assistance, but would you butt out?"

"Why, when I'm so good at butting in?"

Roni began to feel crowded and trapped. “You're impossible.” She slid out from underneath Ana, went to her room and locked the door in Ana's face.

The vampire pounded on the door but didn't break the oak. “Aww, but Roni! I'll be quiet. Please come back and finish your story. You can't just leave me hanging like this!"

"Yes, I can, and I did,” Roni shouted through the door. “Don't you have a coffin to go to, you meddling vampire? It's after sunrise."

"I thought it was bright in here.” Ana played the ditz very well when it suited her but in reality she was old enough as a vampire to be able to withstand sunlight for short periods of time. She also slept on a huge four-poster bed, not in a coffin.

Roni heard Ana's bedroom door close. She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she'd have about twelve hours before Ana renewed her assault on her privacy. “The only thing stopping me from hanging that woman from the ceiling by a meat hook is the fact that I'm so short. But then again, isn't that what ladders are for?"

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"You wished to see me, Father?” At precisely nine in the morning, Corbin walked into his father's office.

Duke turned from his contemplation of Corbin's mother's holo picture.

"I do not appreciate your choice in friends.” Duke's tone was cold, and his words were cryptic.

The chill in his tone iced Corbin's heart. If they had been in lupine form, Duke and he would already be circling and snarling. Damn, he didn't want to challenge Duke, who was a fine and responsible pack Alpha. “What, may I ask, are you talking about?"

One side of Duke's mouth twisted upward in a half-smile that acknowledged he was dealing with another born Alpha. “I heard that you had a date the other night?"

Damn. Caught. Brazening it out might be best. “If you must know, yes, I did have a date.” Memories of Roni caused Corbin's heart to flutter. “She is beautiful, funny—in a nutshell, she is just great."

"She is a mutt.” Duke spat the words out like he would bad fish.

Corbin blinked in surprise. Duke rarely used such derogatory race-related terms. “Excuse me?"

"She is a cross breed and—of all things—part Chihuahua and part Husky.” Duke went for his private bar and poured himself a well-watered drink. It was business hours, and Duke prided himself on never taking advantage of his position to goof off. “Look, son. The mixed races can be very beautiful and enticing. I just don't want you losing your position as my heir because of a pretty mutt."

"How do you know all this about Roni?” Corbin clenched his fists and ground his teeth. How dare his father pry into his personal life this way and then judge the one person that Corbin could see a future with?

"One of her ex-boyfriends works for me.” Duke stared him down. “Being the loyal employee that he is, he let me know that my son is dating a mutt."

A red haze covered Corbin's eyesight. He could read between the lines. Not only was Duke snooping but another employee was spying on Corbin. He slammed his fists on Duke's desk and pinned his father's dark brown eyes with his own. “It is none of your business who I date. It is none of these bastards’ business who I date.” Corbin growled to emphasize his point. “If you don't like it, too bad. Get the fuck over it.” Corbin straightened, turned on his heels and stomped out the door without waiting for a response.

"I will not allow this, Corbin! I will stop this no matter what it costs me!” Duke's shout easily carried through the thick wood of the door.

Corbin leaned against the door of his father's office and noticed the smirking and whispering employees walking by on their way to some job. Great. Whoever the spy was, he was also a gossip. The whole damn company knew about Roni. The most sympathetic of Corbin's allies would automatically assume Corbin was—what was that old-fashioned term? Oh, yeah. Slumming. No matter what, this was the kind of conflict that usually ended with two Alphas battling it out in the dueling ground on pack lands next full moon. “Now what do I do?"

"Ana, what the fuck are you still doing here?” Roni walked into the kitchen where she found Ana sitting on the tile counter having a tall goblet of blood. Deliveries of blood from special supply houses ensured the local vampires didn't make meals of their neighbors.

The perky blonde, fresh from her daytime snooze, flipped her ponytail back. Her blue eyes were alight with cheerful good humor and a touch of mischief. “Chill out. I'm waiting for Jon."

Roni wrung her hands and glanced nervously at the clock. Corbin would arrive within a half hour for their next date. “You know, if Jonny-bird is not going to be on time for your dates, I think you should find a boyfriend a little more punctual and a little less feathery."

Ana rattled her ice cubes and grinned indulgently at Roni. The toothy smile of a vampire could be intimidating, but Roni was too used to Ana to feel any concern. “Listen, Crazy, he got off work late. I'll be out of your hair in about twenty minutes."

Knowing Roni's luck, Ana would still be there when Corbin arrived. Ana had made it clear she was curious to meet the guy who'd managed to not only get into Roni's bed but also conned Roni into a second date. “Unfortunately, you won't be out of my hair until you die."

Wrinkling her nose, Ana played along with the old game of death threats when Roni couldn't think of a way to squash Ana's enthusiasm. “I'm already dead."

"Don't threaten me with an eternity dealing with you.” Roni turned and walked out of the kitchen. She returned to her bathroom to finish her makeup. She couldn't explain why she was so worried about how she looked. Corbin was just coming over for dinner and conversation. For the fifth time, she applied her makeup, trying to make it look as natural as possible.

"Thinking about a career change?” Ana lounged in the doorway of the bathroom.

"What?"

"You look like you could be the lead singer of Kiss.” Ana smiled. “Would you like me to help?"

"Would you like to die a second time?” Roni tried another empty death threat. Cripes, her hands shook while she applied her mascara. She probably would put an eye out in a minute.

"Sorry, Ms. Snooty.” Ana just stared at Roni. “What is your problem, anyway?"

"I'm nervous. I have a lot of stuff on my mind.” Roni gave up and put the mascara down.

"What your parents said?” Ana was all sympathy for the uncomfortable vid call and subsequent fight between Roni and her parents. “Ugly words, ugly feelings."

Roni's shoulders slumped. Her heart still ached, and half the reason she wore more makeup than usual was to hide the puffiness from the crying jag after her parents had disconnected. “More specifically my dad's words. Who knew he was prejudiced against humans?” Roni picked up a lipstick and then put it back down without applying it. “Mom was okay, but she's got to live with Dad. She couldn't exactly stand firmly on my side, just referee the worst of it."

"Do you realize that you are a grown woman and your parents have no say in what you do with your life?” Ana always made a good point. It still irritated Roni.

"Yes, you dead busybody, I realize I am a grown woman.” Roni growled at her reflection in the mirror. “I just don't want my choice in men to come between my parents and I."

The doorbell bonged Pachelbel's Canon. Ana looked behind her. “Your parents love you. They'll come around to love whomever you love.” She started to walk away. “I'll get the door, you de-clown."

Roni stared at herself in the mirror. Her mascara had clumped, and her eyeshadow resembled that of some Egyptian goddess. “Why does she have to be right?” She washed her face. “Fine, no makeup it is."

Ana's high-pitched laughter carried through the house.

Roni's heart sank. “Oh, God, what is she doing?” Terrified of what Ana would do to poor Corbin, Roni raced to the front door.

Ana was leaning up against the wall and giggling. Tears slid down her face, she was laughing so hard.

Corbin stood on the porch, a shocked look in his dark eyes at the hysterical blonde. The cause of Ana's amusement was a stuffed black and white cow cradled in his arm. He clutched a grocery bag in his other hand.

Roni's face flooded with embarrassment and sympathy for Corbin. He looked so adorably confused. Roni's heart plopped at his booted feet. “Corbin, I'm so sorry. Please come in.” For good measure, Roni kicked Ana in the shin.

Corbin stepped over the threshold, giving the still softly snickering vampire a wide berth.

Roni sighed and plastered on a cheerful smile. She didn't blame Corbin much. After all, Roni had taken all her life to get used to her vampire friend's insane ways. “Please have a seat in the living room and I'll be right with you after I kil... I mean get rid of her."

Corbin winked as he turned and walked down the hallway. A soft “Moo!” from the cow punctuated his turn into the living room.

Of course, that sent Ana into another giggling fit.

So much for dignity and grace. Roni shook Ana gently by the arm. “Can I please ask what the hell is wrong with you?"

Ana wiped tears from her eyes and straightened, but her lips twitched as if she were on the verge of hysteria at any moment. “You have to tell me why he is holding a stuffed cow."

"I don't know yet.” Roni breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jon's rattletrap converted Corvette pull into the drive. “Oh, look, it's Jon. Bye.” Roni pushed Ana out the door and shut it on her heels.

Ana yelled through the door. “Can I have my purse, please?"

Roni yanked Ana's purse off the hallway table, opened the door, tossed the Prada bag at the blonde's head and slammed the door shut.

"I love you, Roni! You'll tell me later, right?” Ana shouted through the door with a giggle. A minute later Jon's Corvette putted out of the driveway.

Roni wanted to crawl into the nearest crack in the wall but pride forced her to march down the hall to the living room as if nothing ever ruffled a hair on her head.

Corbin stood in the living room with a bemused smile still on his gorgeous face. The cow held court on top of two steaks on her coffee table. “So, that's Ana, huh?"

"I'm so sorry about that. She's an undead annoyance, but she is my undead annoyance and has been for as long as I care to remember. Can't seem to get rid of her.” Roni ran an exasperated hand through her hair to emphasize her frustration.

He frowned. “Have you tried?"

"Yeah, but she's like a vampiric bloodhound that followed me home one day. I've dropped her off on the side of many highways but she always seems to find her way back.” Roni grinned. “Seriously, she babysat me when I was a puppy. Now that I'm grown, we're roommates and best friends."

"She sounds great."

"I'll leave you to your illusions.” She couldn't help staring at the stuffed cow sitting on top of the two steaks Corbin had brought.

He caught her gaze, pressed the cow's stuffed hoof, and it started mooing. “Still mooing, just like your steaks."

Instantly, Roni turned to mush. The best she could do was restrain a squeal. “That is so cute."

He pressed the soft stuffed bovine into her arms.

She put her nose in the micro-fiber skin of the cow and nuzzled. He was so nice not to bring her dying vegetation or fattening candy. “Thank you so much, Corbin."

"You're very welcome, beautiful.” His smile melted her heart. He grabbed up the steaks. “Point me to the grill and I'll start dinner."

Roni walked him through the kitchen to the back deck and introduced him to the solar-charged grill. She'd already arranged partially cooked potatoes, onions, and common seasonings on the outdoor kitchen prep surface. She and the cow sat down to watch a male perform the ancient rituals of outdoor grilling.

After dinner Corbin and Roni curled up together in the overstuffed chair in the living room, staring at the fire. The conversation she'd had with her parents weighed heavily on her mind, and Corbin looked just as pensive.