Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One (8 page)

     Picking up my spoon I took a cautious taste. It was
good. I’d eaten some fish and tasted shrimp before, but no other kind of
seafood. It was just as Nic described; thick and chunky and with a kick.

     “Mmm, you were right; this is the best chowder I’ve
ever tasted.” I said after the second bite. “And although it’s the only chowder
I’ve ever had I can’t imagine any other tasting better.”

     “You’ll be hooked for life now.” He stated with a
smirk, taking a big bite. He reached for his chocolate milk and drank half the
glass. I couldn’t help my grin at his appetite.

     We finished the rest of our soup in silence finishing
at the same time even though he had a bowl and I had a cup.     

     “Well, that took the edge off.” Nic said, setting down
his empty milk glass. “So, we need to get the preliminaries out of the way.
What’s your major? Mine is Business.”

     “Marine Biology.” I rejoined spiritedly, not having had
this much fun in months.  

     His eyes lit with surprise. “Really, that’s
interesting. Do you know what you want to do with it?”

     “Anything that allows me to be in the water. I would
love to work with marine animals or even studying the coral reefs would be
great.”

    “I didn’t think your eyes could get any brighter, but
they did when you talked about water.” Nic said leaning forward. “What do you
like so much about the water?”

     How could I articulate my feelings about being in a
body of water? “Being in the water makes me feel both lighter in body and in
mind. It’s almost like a Zen feeling. All my feelings get washed away and everything
feels right in the world.” 

     His eyes studied me silently for a moment. I tried not
to twitch.

     “I feel a little bit like that when I play lacrosse.
Any worries or problems I’m dealing with are pushed away and all think about is
the game. But instead of feeling weightless I feel like a warrior taking on the
world.”

     “To each their own.” I said softly. A warm glow spread
through me that he could relate to my reasoning.

     A smirk emerged. “Should I feel bad that I made you eat
clam chowder? You weren’t like a seaterian or anything, were you?”

     I chuckled at his backward analogy. “I’ve eaten fish
and shrimp before so I jumped that hurdle a long time ago.” I assured him.

     He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead. “Whew,
I was worried I’d made some kind of marine biology transgression.”

     Tina walked up to the table with our entrees. Nic and I
stacked our empty bowls together and helped her with the exchange of plates.
She had drink refills for both of us then she was gone again.

     We each took a bite of our burgers and moaned at the
same time in appreciation. Our eyes met over the buns and we made laughing
noises in our throats because our mouths were too full of food. Nic looked like
he’d eaten a forth of his burger in that one bite.

     “Do you know what you want to do with your business
degree?” I asked when I got the first mouthful down.

     He finished swallowing and a slight frown appeared
between his eyes. “My dad expects me to go into the family business. Ever heard
of Stanford tools?”

     I wasn’t a big tool girl, but I knew a few top of the
line brands. “Yeah.”

     “Well, my grandfather founded the company, and now it’s
split between my dad, his two brothers, and a sister.”

    Wow! No wonder he had such a nice truck. Inadequacy I
didn’t want to feel began to creep in. I wasn’t ashamed of being broke, but
sitting next to someone who probably came from millions was daunting. It was
mighty hard to keep self-esteem issues from rising.

     Nic had been watching me and must have read my
expression. “Hey, whatever you’re thinking, don’t. I’m the son of someone who
has money, but I’m in school to make my own way just as you are. Let’s forget
about the rest of it and keep our interactions between us.” He reached out and
squeezed my hand.

     “Have you been taking philosophy classes along the
way?” I slipped my hand away making a show of using it to eat. When he touched
me I had a hard time concentrating on other things.

     He picked his burger up. “I’m a student of life.” He
quipped taking a bite.

     I chuckled and teased. “I bet.” My inadequacy didn’t
automatically disappear, but what he said made sense. We were all trying to
find our way in the world.

     After eating a couple more bites I asked him, “You said
your dad
expects
you to go into the family business; is that not what
you want to do?”

     He slathered a fry in ketchup his face fixed and his
eyes introspective. “I’m not sure. I know I want to continue playing lacrosse.
It’s not something that I can really make a living at, but I do love it.” 

     I watched him thoughtfully wondering what was going on
in his head. “I hate to say this, but I really don’t know anything about lacrosse
except what I learned today.”

     His brooding expression disappeared and he grinned.
“And what was that?”

     God, he was really handsome when he smiled. I had to
shake myself out of a hypnotic daze to answer his question. “That you attach a
lacrosse head to a shaft. The head has a net that catches a ball. You try to
get the ball into a goal net. You wear gloves, arm and chest guards, and a
helmet. And you have groupies that come up to you arbitrarily and glare daggers
at other girls that you’re with.”

     He frowned. “She glared at you?”

     I grinned. “Daggers,” I teased sticking a fry in my
mouth.

     His frown twitched into a grin. “I’m kind of
disappointed. After learning I was a lacrosse player I thought you’d hunt down
all my stats, and know one end of the field to other. I think I’m hurt at the
disinterest.”

     I tapped my lips with a fry. His eyes zinged to the
movement instantly and heated. I ate the fry hastily and cleared my throat.
“Well, I also learned that you are the team captain, you’ve been MVP for the
last two years, and the team has won the championship the last two years. And
you have good character. John reeled it off like rote. It was scary impressive,
especially when he said he could do it for all the big players on campus.”

     “You’re impressed with John’s memory, but I’m not
hearing any gushing about me. Again, I’m hurt. MVP…team
captain…championships…good character over here. Show some love, woman.” Nic
wore a mock affronted expression.

     I rotated my hand back and forth. “Eehh,” I commented
apathetically. 

     His head dropped into his hands. “I’m going to need
therapy after this.”

     I giggled, and thought how glad I was at taking a
chance with him.

Chapter Seven

NIC

     I was having an amazingly good time. I’d never had
feelings like this for a girl before. Carrie was eliciting a multitude of
emotions from me. I lusted after her most definitely, but I also enjoyed
talking to her. I found myself wanting to know everything about her. And damn,
I loved hearing her laugh. It lifted my mood instantly.

     We finished our meal with me explaining more about the
sport of lacrosse. She said it had nothing to do with me personally, merely
that John had told her she needed to gain knowledge of all the sports on
campus. The grin on her face as she’d stated this was wider than my truck’s
grill or I might indeed have had a complex for life.

     She asked relevant questions and caught onto the
complexities of the game with no problem. Normally, I hated explaining the game
to a girl who I wanted to get with, but I didn’t view Carrie in that way. In
truth, I wasn’t certain how I viewed her yet, but she was so damn smart and
genuinely interested in what I was saying that it was enjoyable. She made it
fun. The girl was quick witted and entertaining. One thing that really caught
my attention was that even though she was shy, and blushed habitually; she
pushed through speaking her mind.

     Another thing I liked about her was that her attitude
toward me hadn’t altered when she found out who I was, and how wealthy my
family was. Girls eyes generally lit up at the prospect of money, but Carrie’s
had looked agitated by it.

     And then she’d topped it off by actually listening to
me. She’d picked out the word ‘
expects’
in my conversation and asked
what I wanted. That wasn’t a common response I heard from others.

     We’d been done with our meal for a while and were just
talking when Carrie looked up at the clock on the wall and exclaimed, “Oh my
god. I can’t believe we’ve been sitting here for two and a half hours. I should
probably get home.” A sad grimace crossed her face like she would rather do
anything but go home, but maybe she was unhappy that our lunch was ending. I
knew I was.

    Carrie reached over to grab the bill, but I got to it
first. The death glare she gave me almost had me laughing at how adorable it
was but I already knew that wouldn’t go over so well with her.

     “I can pay for my own lunch.” She said, shaking her
hand for the bill impatiently.

     I swallowed another laugh. “I’m sure you can, but I
asked you. No, actually, I pleaded with you basically forcing you to come. So
please, for the sake of my mind and masculinity, will you let me pay this
time?” Was that too thick?

     “That was like peanut butter and molasses mixed
together it was so thick.” She stated dryly.    

     Yep. She called me on it. “Did it work?”

     She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine, I will concede
under pressure, but I want to get the tip. Although, with the way you tip
that’s just punishment for the waitress. So if you would have left more than…”
she looked at the bill, “eight dollars make sure you drop the additional money
after I leave so I won’t feel bad. I gave her extra because we took up her
booth, mind you.”

     I nodded in agreement not saying anything, because yes,
I would have given Tina twenty for taking up her table. The differences in our
tipping had me wondering if maybe I threw my money around pompously. I always
figured that I had extra so why not spread it about, but it would doubtless
make Carrie uncomfortable if I did it around her too much. 

     We gathered our coats and her purse and headed
out…after I dropped the extra money on the table when she looked away. Setting
my hand to her back, just so I could have some contact with her, I guided her
to the truck. Unlocking the door I helped her up inside the cab and then went
around to the driver’s side.

     “I have to say this even though I know you’ll probably
say no; would you let me take you home?” I started the truck.

     “You know me so well already.” She set her fingers to
her chest and widened her eyes dramatically.

     She was too adorable. “It really wouldn’t be a problem,
but that’s only if you feel comfortable enough to be off campus with me.” I
drove out of the parking lot.

     Her brows puckered. “I do trust you, and that’s saying
something because I don’t trust easily.”

     I had already guessed this about her, but to have her
say it made it more significant. I wanted her trust. 

     “So let me take you home. It’s one little ride, and not
to make you feel insignificant, but I have nothing better to do.”
Come on,
say yes
.

     She looked out her side window as I drove down Campus
Drive. I wondered what she was thinking. Reaching the corner near the bus stop
I heard her expel a deep breath.

      “Uhm, okay, thank you. That would be really nice.” She
turned to me with a tentative smile, and I got the impression that Carrie
wasn’t accustomed to people doing nice things for her which I had a hard time
believing. This girl was completely gorgeous and hella-sweet, you’d think
people would be bending over backwards to do nice things for her, especially
guys. All the beautiful women I knew habitually expected things to be done for
them as their due. 

     Carrie pointed to the right. “Go right. I live off
Vienna Dr. near the IGA. Do you know where that is?”

     The light was green so I turned right. “Yeah, I know
where it is.” And it wasn’t the greatest neighborhood. Is that one of the
reasons she’d hesitated? Was she embarrassed? Apart from her sexuality and
being somewhat shy she seemed pretty confident.

     “So you take the bus to school every day?” I asked. 

     “Yes, it’s not so bad. It would be a psychologists
dream. Some of the things I’ve seen you wouldn’t believe.” She laughed. “There
was this time when a group of five theater majors got on and acted out a scene
from ‘
Spaceballs
’, it was the funniest thing I’d ever seen.” She
chuckled in remembrance. I laughed at the idea of it, and imaged her sitting
there watching it and laughing. She had a great laugh.

     Something occurred to me that cut my amusement short
though. “When you worked at that restaurant did you take the bus home at
night?”

     “Yes,” she answered.

     My mood went immediately grave. “That doesn’t sound too
safe. You don’t know anyone that could have driven you, someone at the
restaurant that could have dropped you off?”

     “I’d only been working at the restaurant for two
months, and I don’t know a lot of people, and the bus is actually pretty safe,
and
I’m not even working at the restaurant anymore so don’t have a hissy about it.”

     I snorted at her harangue, but I wasn’t going to let it
go. “I may or may not agree that the bus is safe, but I do know walking alone
at night down the street is definitely dangerous. How far of a walk do you have
from the bus stop to your house?” I asked crossly. 

     She looked at me in surprise. I knew I was behaving
irrationally, but the thought of her walking at night, alone, in any
neighborhood set my teeth on edge. No girl should be walking the streets at
night alone.

     “I don’t know if I want to tell you?” She answered
crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve lived in that neighborhood for three
years. I know it pretty well. I also know how to protect myself.”

     I rolled my eyes. “I hate it when girls say that. There
are so many incidents where you would not be able to protect yourself. Do I
really need to go through them all?”

     She turned to face me with a frown. “Are you really getting
angry at me because of the circumstances of my life? I have no choice but to
take the bus. I have no car, and I don’t have any close friends that I can ask
for a ride. These are the facts of my life, there’s no disputing them or
changing them at this time.”

     Her words kicked me in the ass. I was sitting here in
my expensive new truck practically yelling at her for getting by the only way
she was able to with what she had.

     “Hell, I’m sorry.” I apologized. She was probably
regretting getting a ride with me. Reaching over I grabbed the hand that was
clenched tightly on her leg and uncurling her stiff fingers I interlaced them
with mine. She looked down at our intertwined hands with an expression of
mystification. I was just a mystified by my move, but I was more concerned with
apologizing. “The thought of you walking down a dark street by yourself does
not sit well with me and unfortunately I reacted like an asshat.”

     Her fingers relaxed as I expressed my idiocy and a
slight grin lifted her lips at my terminology.  

     “If you aren’t too mad at me and if this question isn’t
too personal; how are you paying for UVA?”

     “I received a full scholarship.” She replied softly
still looking at our joined hands.

     I gave her hand a squeeze. “That’s awesome, but I knew
you were super smart in the first ten minutes of knowing you.”

     She snorted but remained silent. I could understand her
disbelief because I’d basically called her stupid just seconds ago for walking
at night. That definitely hadn’t been one of my finer moments.

     “If you have a full ride how come you’re not living on
campus? It’s free for you, right?”

     Her hand went rigid in mine before she pulled it away,
and it wasn’t just her hand, I could feel her emotional withdrawal too.

     “I live with my mom. She needs my help, and I just
can’t leave her right now.”

     Carrie’s voice was tight and unemotional as she talked
about her mother. A look at her face revealed nothing; no sadness or affection
for her mother, no anger or frustration or even resignation for having to stay
at home to take care of that parent. I at least had extreme feelings of
frustration, antipathy, and annoyance for my parents.

     “Take a right at the next light; then its six blocks
down.” She navigated.

     I saw the bus depot at the corner and now I knew how
far she had to walk to her bus. I really didn’t like it but knew to keep my
mouth shut about it this time.

     I turned at the light. “How about your father?” I asked
hoping someone was keeping an eye out for her at the bus stop.

     Next to me Carrie’s breathing became extremely erratic.
I looked over at her in alarm. Was she having an asthma attack? Her face was white
and her hands were clenching and unclenching.

     I slowed down to pull to the side of the road. “Carrie,
are you okay?”

     She continued to open and close her hands. “I’m
alright,’ she gasped. “It’s just something that comes and goes.” She gasped
again. “I do these exercises and everything is okay.” Another gasp, but less
erratic.

     I watched her feeling useless as she clenched,
unclenched, and breathed. She’d closed her eyes and appeared to be
concentrating. I had the urge to hold her close, enfold her in my arms letting
her know she was safe, but all I could do is watch because I didn’t want to
interrupt in case it broke her focus.

    What seemed like hours, but was in fact only about two
minutes, she finally opened her eyes. They were glazed, haunted my sadness, and
seemed to hold years of suffering. Unable to stop myself I unbuckled her
seatbelt and hauled her over into my lap. I was taking a chance because it
hadn’t escaped my notice that she was uneasy with being touched, but I couldn’t
hold back any longer. Moreover, I could relate to her mystified look when I’d
held her hand earlier because I was behaving in a way that was completely out
of character, but hell, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and
expel from her mind whatever was making her so sad.  

     At first she stiffened up but it didn’t last long at
all, it was like she didn’t have the energy, and for that I was grateful. Her
body slumped boneless against mine. Her face had gone from white to flushed and
clammy. Reaching over I cracked the window letting in some fresh air, and then
leaning back in my seat I tucked her head under my chin. I soothingly rubbed my
hand up and down her arm. She was all bundled up with her coat and cap, but
still trembled slightly.

     “Are you alright?” I asked worriedly.

     “Yes, I’m sorry for that.” She whispered piteously.

     “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry; I’ve
given you the worst ride home ever.” I joked feebly.

     She gave a halfhearted chuckle. “God, I don’t have the
energy to laugh.”

     I patted her shoulder. “That’s okay, it really wasn’t
that funny.”

     Her hand came up to settle on my chest; I’d unfasten my
coat so only one layer of clothing separated her hand from my skin. Her hand
was cold so I covered it with mine to warm it. I felt her other hand, cold as
well, burrow inside my coat near my waist and between our bodies, probably in
search of more warmth.  

     My comfort mode was beginning to take a fast turn into
arousal as she sat in my lap so compliant and soft. Her hair smelled citrusy,
and felt so silky. I took a deep breath getting control, this definitely wasn’t
the time.

     “Carrie, what happened?”

     “Please, Nic, don’t ask me that right now.” Her hand
clenched and unclenched against my chest.

     “Okay,” I said softly rubbing her hand.

     “Thank you.” She sighed.

     I had a feeling she was referring to more than my
acceptance of her request.

Chapter Eight

CARRIE

     I spent Sunday doing school work at the library,
grocery shopping, and cleaning the house. Mom sat around mostly ignoring me
during the cleaning apart from the occasional glare. Nic’s image followed me
throughout the day and I would vacillate between utter mortification about my
episode in his truck and getting warm fuzzy feelings in regards to everything
else that happened during our time together.