Nicole Jordan (21 page)

He feigned a smile and declined to answer directly. “I will keep your invitation in mind, madame.”

The sporting house seemed abnormally quiet as Kell mounted the stairs. But then it was only late afternoon, far too early for the usual revelry.

He had no doubt how he would find his brother, though. And given his own past wildness, he could hardly condemn such dissipation. Kell could well remember his younger years when he first came to London. He had thought nothing of spending the entire day in bed with a beautiful Cyprian, indulging in decadence.

For too long, however, he’d set Sean a bad example. He had sobered greatly since, making an effort to be more discreet, eschewing brothels for longer-term arrangements. His last affair with a wealthy merchant’s widow had ended badly, with tears and recriminations on her part, and he’d refrained from employing another mistress since then.

Perhaps fortunately, Kell reflected, considering the fact that he was now wed. Managing a wife and mistress at the same time was more trouble than he preferred to deal with at the moment. He had enough on his hands with the problem of his brother.

Then again, he might be wise to take up Madame Fouchet’s offer to visit here. Perhaps then he would be able to forget the searing memory of blue eyes and soft breasts and the alluring scent that haunted his dreams.

Trying to dismiss thoughts of his beautiful, unwanted bride, Kell rapped lightly on the door to room seven and was sharply bid entrance.

He found Sean seated on a chaise, a scantily clad beauty on his lap.

“If I might have a word with you in private,” Kell said, not waiting for an invitation before settling himself in a chair opposite his brother.

With a scowl on his face, Sean patted the courtesan’s derriere and sent her from the room.

“So what brings you here, brother?” he asked belligerently. “Not the entertainment, surely. You have no need to drown your sorrows in the arms of a paid whore. You have a wife now—or is she spurning you the way she did me?”

Kell forced himself to ignore the jibe. “You crossed the line again this afternoon,” he said, his tone terse. “Raven is my wife now, whether or not either of us likes it. I won’t have her harmed.”

Sean looked away guiltily. “I didn’t harm her.”

“But you threatened to.”

“How do you know? Did she come running to you?”

Kell responded to the taunt by issuing a demand. “Perhaps I failed to make myself clear. You’ll keep away from her in future.”

“And if I don’t?”

He narrowed his gaze on his brother. “I expect you to leave London tomorrow.”

Lips thinning mutinously, Sean cast him a defiant glance. “Or what? What will you do if I refuse, brother?” Flinging himself from the chaise, Sean began to pace. “You are hardly in a position to dictate to me when your own reputation is so tenuous. I could ensure you have more to occupy your time than needlessly defending the heartless bitch you married.”

Kell gritted his teeth at the word. “Meaning?”

Coming to a halt, Sean gazed down at him in triumph, his green eyes glittering. “Meaning that I need only find a magistrate and suggest how dear Uncle William met his demise. If I claimed I saw you kill him, you would have more trouble than you could deal with. You would likely be facing prison.”

Kell’s stomach clenched savagely, the depth of his brother’s hostility like a knife to his gut.

For a moment he stared at the man standing before him. It was as if he no longer knew his brother. Sean had become more and more distraught over the past year, and truly violent since his impressment, but he’d never threatened outright betrayal.

Regardless…Even if the bond between them frayed beyond repair, Kell knew he could no longer overlook his brother’s violence or tolerate his excesses.

“Claim whatever you will,” Kell finally replied grimly, “but that won’t change my intentions of sending you to Ireland.”

His face turning red with anger, Sean brandished his fists. “This is all your fault, you know. You promised Mama you would protect me. But you didn’t protect me, did you, Kell? You let Uncle William do whatever he wanted to me.”

Furious himself, sick at heart, Kell drew a labored breath. He would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for his failure, but he wouldn’t relent. Sean had become too dangerous. “Yes, Iam to blame for not protecting you,” he declared with quiet vehemence. “And I will never forgive myself. But there is no way for the past to be undone. If there were…” His own fists clenched. “I would gladly have taken your place, you know very well.”

A grimace crossed his brother’s face. “You would never have found yourself in my place in the first instance. You would not have let that bastard touch you. You would have fought him.” His expression of anger suddenly crumpled. “I’ve always been so much weaker than you.” Turning away, he sank onto the chaise again, burying his face in his hands.

Kell felt his own anger abate a degree at Sean’s desolation. He leaned forward in his chair, searching for the right words. “Sean…can’t you see what is happening to you? You are letting the past destroy you.”

Reaching up, Sean clutched at his hair. “I know,” he said hoarsely. “Sometimes I can’t help myself. There is this devil screaming inside my head…making me want to lash out, to hurt someone, to hurt you.”

Anguish speared through Kell, along with a raw desire to protect his brother. “We will get you help. There are other doctors—”

“No! I won’t have more quacks poking and prodding at me, telling me my mind is diseased.” After a moment, Sean looked up, tears making his green eyes shimmer. “I’m sorry, Kell,” he said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean what I said. I am an ungrateful wretch. God, please forgive me…. It is just that I…loved Raven. I was devastated when you chose her over me. And now she has turned you against me.”

Kell ran a hand raggedly through his own hair at his brother’s pleading tone. “I didn’t choose her willingly, Sean. And having her come between us is the last thing I would ever want. But I can’t stand by and allow you to hurt her. Can you understand that?”

“Yes.” The word was a mere whisper.

“Swear to me you will leave her alone.”

“I…I swear.”

Kell could feel his brother’s bleakness, his misery. Sean was in anguish, his better nature fighting the demons inside him.

Rising, Kell crossed to the chaise and pressed a hand to Sean’s shoulder. “You need to get away. If you stay here, you’ll only be tormented by the past.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” he said dully. “But where would I go?”

“I told you, to Ireland. To the farm. The breeding program was to be your responsibility, remember?”

The horse farm Kell had purchased near Dublin boasted prime breeding stock that had already resulted in several promising racers. Not that he cared much about racing or the Turf. But since Sean loved horses so deeply, Kell had hoped to provide him an interest as well as a refuge.

“Will you come with me?” Sean asked wistfully.

Kell’s stomach twisted again. Sean sounded like a young boy again, like the beloved brother he’d once known. “I regret that I can’t. I have obligations here. My club…”

“And Raven Kendrick.” Sean’s mouth momentarily hardened.

“Yes. Raven as well. But that doesn’t mean I care for you any less. Sean, you must get away, for your own sake.”

“Very well. If that will make you happy, I will go,” Sean said quietly, the dismal look of defeat in his eyes.

It was nearly midnight when Kell reluctantly climbed the stairs, heading for his wife’s bedchamber. Raven would be surprised that he’d returned home from his club so much earlier than usual, and even more surprised when he approached her. But he owed her yet another apology for his brother’s savage conduct.

Kell moved slowly down the dimly lit hall, his thoughts still spinning around his confrontation with Sean this afternoon and the angry threats his brother had made. Their clash had dredged up dark memories of the night their uncle died.

Six months after they’d fled England, William had tracked them down. Kell knew he would never forget that night. He’d spent most of the evening gaming, milking a winning streak, trying to add to their meager savings. He returned to their stark lodgings in the wee hours of the morning to find Sean sobbing out his heart over their uncle’s bloody body.

“It was an accident, Kell, I swear! I didn’t mean to hurt him. I only meant to make him stop touching me.”

Bit by bit Kell coaxed the story from his trembling brother. William apparently had pursued them to Ireland, concerned by the appearance that his underage nephews refused to live with him, as well as worried that they would divulge his homosexuality, a hanging offense. When William demanded the brothers return home and began shaking him, Sean revolted, unable to bear his touch. He’d stabbed William in the chest with Kell’s own rapier.

Kell couldn’t totally blame his fourteen-year-old brother, for he likely would have killed Sean’s abuser himself, had he been present. The boy’s explosive reaction was self-defense, he was almost certain.

Determined to shield his brother from further suffering, Kell disposed of the body on a deserted stretch of road outside Dublin, making William’s death appear to be highway robbery. The investigation that followed pointed accusing fingers at Kell, bringing to light his violent history with his uncle, but the authorities could find no real proof. He refused to deny the rumors that he was the murderer, though. Better to take the blame himself than to have suspicion fall on his young brother.

Even so, Sean had never fully recovered. Having his uncle’s death on his conscience, in addition to his sordid shame, had nearly destroyed him—a torment of the soul that no brotherly words of comfort, no passage of time, could totally assuage.

Kell squeezed his eyes shut as he paused before Raven’s bedchamber door. Despite all his efforts, Sean’s despondence had been inconsolable.

They’d remained in Ireland for two more years before deciding to make a fresh start where the gaming was more profitable. Returning to England, they settled in London. Kell hoarded his winnings and eventually, after a half dozen more years, amassed the funds to open a private gaming club, where the more adventurous members of society came to gamble.

The dark rumors had followed him, however. He still couldn’t refute them without implicating his brother. Nor could he divulge Sean’s terrible secrets. But he could at least try to make Raven understand and win her sympathy.

A light shone beneath her door, and Kell rapped softly. She was reading in bed, he saw when she bid entrance. The startled look on her face clearly proclaimed how unexpected his visit was. Hurriedly hiding her book, she snatched up the covers to her chin, concealing her nightdress from view.

Kell hesitated, wondering if he might be making a mistake, holding this interview in her bedchamber. But this was his best chance to speak to her in private.

“Is something wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“I came to apologize for Sean’s behavior this afternoon,” Kell said, shutting the door quietly behind him.

She stared at him warily as he crossed the room to her. Kell found himself gratified that she didn’t want him there any more than he wanted to be there.

When she remained silent, he pressed his advantage and sat beside her on the bed. Raven froze at his nearness, Kell noted with satisfaction. It would behoove him to keep her on the defensive.

“It is no excuse, I know,” he began, “but I want you to understand something about Sean, how he became the way he is.”

“What do you mean?”

“For some years now he has suffered periods of depression, of melancholy. When he falls into one of his black moods, he won’t eat or sleep, and he drinks far too much. But until his impressment, I truly thought he had his demons under control.”

Kell paused, letting his words sink in. “When he disappeared last June, I was frantic, Raven. I spent months searching for him before I uncovered the harbor manifest of a naval vessel that listed Sean’s name as one of the crew. I hired a private schooner and went after him.

“When I found him he was shackled in the hold, wallowing in his own excrement. His back was a bloody strip of flesh. He had been flogged till his throat was too raw to scream.”

Kell found his own throat closing at the savage memory. “He’s my brother, Raven.” His fingers curled involuntarily into fists. “Perhaps you can understand my grief at finding him so broken.”

“Yes—” she murmured.

“And can you imagine the pain he suffered?”

Her gaze lowered to avoid his penetrating one. “Yes…I can imagine.”

“It sent Sean over the edge, Raven.”

“And you expect me to forgive him because of that?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“No. Not forgive. But I hope you will have an inkling of what made Sean the way he is now. How deep despair can drive a man to do unspeakable things. He is ill, Raven. How could anyone be in his right mind after that horror?”

When she didn’t speak, Kell put a finger under her chin to make her look at him. “What he needs most is time to heal. I am sending him to Ireland. He won’t bother you again.”

“Thank you.” She shuddered. “I would be happy not to be required to deal with him again.”

“You won’t have to.”

Her blue eyes were dark and solemn as she gazed back at him. Kell suddenly found himself aware of the intimacy of the circumstances. His wife was in bed, dressed in her nightclothes, her midnight hair spilling about her shoulders, the lamplight casting a golden glow over her fine-boned face. Her high-necked nightdress was unrevealing, true, and mostly concealed from view by the covers, and yet he knew very well what lay beneath.

Kell vividly remembered her nude body from their wedding night. He remembered her breasts, licking them, sucking them, teasing them. He remembered her slender legs and how she had mounted him…. Instantly he grew hard, and he swore under his breath.

Needing a distraction, he glanced down to where the book she’d been reading was peeking out from the covers. The jeweled cover sparkled in the lamplight. Reaching over her, he picked it up to examine it. He had no doubt he was seeing a magnificent and rare artifact.