Next to Forever (Never Letting Go) (6 page)

Connor

I rub small circles around my girl’s back and watch her sleep. Seeing her again next to me makes everything better. I take her left hand in mine and look at the ring on her finger. She’s going to be my wife and the mother of my child soon. She snuggles closer to me and rests her head on my chest. I see her breathing in and out
with a slight smile on her face. I miss moments like this. I’m always traveling to California and staying there for weeks at a time. With Adam just getting married and expecting his first child too, I’ve been pulling more of the traveling, but now I don’t think I should be gone that much anymore. I lean my head against the wooden headboard on our bed and think about how everything’s going to be.

Exhaustion hits me as I sink lower onto the bed, careful not to move and wake up the mother of my child. I look at her again, with love and tenderness in my eyes
. She’s incredible, and I can’t wait to see the future with her.

I wake up all of a sudden and don’t see Erin. “Baby?” I yell, looking frantically for her. I hear moaning from the bathroom and get up to see what’s going on. I open the door and see Erin’s head in the toilet and her body shaking. I kneel down beside her and rub her back.
“Shhhh, I’m here, baby.” I kiss the top of her head and she vomits again.

“Connor,” she cries out
. “I hate you.”

I let out a laugh and keep rubbing her back. “I love you too
, baby.”

Erin starts gasping for breath and her body trembles against mine. I want to take away her pain but all I can do is
to be here for her. I pull her long blonde hair back and kiss her again. Finally, she leans into me and rests her head on my chest. “Baby, hold on.” I have her in my arm, but I slowly get up and get a washcloth. I turn on the faucet and let the cool water wet the washcloth. I bring it to her face as she holds my hand tightly. As much pain as she’s in, she’s never looked more beautiful, and my heart beats uncontrollably. I pick her up in my arms and walk back to our bed. “Here.” I gently put her down and sit by her still wiping her face with the washcloth.

“Thanks
, babe,” she whispers, closing her eyes.

“Hi
, baby. This is your daddy. I can’t wait to meet you, but you think you can be nicer to mommy? She’s having a hard time and needs sleep.” I kiss her stomach and imagine our baby growing.

“Connor
, you’re really happy about this?” The worry of doubt in her voice throws me off. I hate that she doesn’t know how I feel and how happy I am that we’re starting this new journey together. I guess I can’t blame her though. Being gone all the time and working long hours isn’t easy for her. I will be better for her and our family.

“Of course I am.” I kiss her stomach again and hold her hand. “You and our baby mean the world to me. Nothing’s going to change that. Try and get some sleep, okay?”

“I love you, night.”

I kiss Erin’s forehead
. “I love you, too,” I whisper.

Afraid to go back to sleep, I grab a chair from the corner of our room and bring it to Erin’s side. Holding her hand, I stay awake and watch her soundly sleeping. I’m next to my forever
, and I don’t ever want to leave her side. “Always here for you, baby,” I murmur.

The sun beams its lights in our room
, and I decide to go downstairs and make breakfast for my girl. I give her another kiss on her forehead and quietly walk out of the bedroom. I walk down the spiral hard wood stairs and hear Sophia, our best friend, laughing in the kitchen. I walk in and see her and my brother, Adam, standing by the island putting food on four yellow plates. “Good morning?” I questionably ask.

Sophia turns around and her face glows with a big smile. “Hey
, baby daddy. How’s it feel?” She comes over to me and throws her arms around my waist. She’s too short to reach my neck. I hug her back and feel happy to have two important people in our lives.

I yawn
. “I’m exhausted. She was throwing up last night, and I couldn’t do anything to help her. I feel helpless. What or how can I help her?”

Adam chimes in
. “Just be there for her. Take some time off. I talked to Joseph, and he’s going to take over the tasks in California. Oh,” Adam snaps his fingers. “Don’t forget to turn in the signed contracts. Just email them to Joseph.”

“Alright, I’ll do that soon.” I pour coffee into a mug and prepare a plate of food for Erin. “I’ll be back
. Let me go check on Erin.”

Before I make it up the stairs, I see Erin slowly coming down. I put down the plate and run up the stairs to help her.
“Baby, what are you doing? Please go back to bed.”

She looks at me incredulously and puts her hand up. “Listen
, bubba. Just because I’m carrying our child and feeling sick doesn’t mean I’m weak. So move out of the way. I smell Soph’s cooking, and I will bite you if you get in my way!”

Mental note, never get in the way of a hungry, pregnant woman
. Gladly stepping aside before the love of my life kills me, I place my hand on the small part of her back and help her walk down the stairs. Sophia runs over, and the girls start yelling and jumping up and down. Between the crying, laughing and cheering, I have no idea what they’re saying. Adam rests against the wall looking at them, eating an apple. I walk over to him and he pats my back. “Congrats again, brother.”

“Thanks, man. I’m scared shitless though.” I lower my
voice and make sure Erin doesn’t hear me. “I don’t know anything about babies. What am I going to do?”

“You’ll be fine. I’m scared
, too. Sophia knows that, but I love them both.”

I lean against the wall, still watching the girls congratulating each other. “I love them
, too.”

The rest of the morning goes smoothly. Erin eats more than Adam and I
, and then starts crying because she thinks she’s going to get fat, which then causes Sophia to start crying. My stress heightens, and I want to keep telling Erin that she’s beautiful, but Adam pulls me back and shakes his head. Apparently, arguing with a pregnant woman is grounds to being placed on the couch. If I have to deal with this the whole time she’s pregnant, I think I’m going to end up losing my mind. How the hell can she go from happy to crying in less than two minutes? The female mind confuses the shit out of me. Why can’t they just be happy and let things go? Dismissing Adam’s suggestions, I tell Erin she won’t get fat and after the baby is born, she’ll lose all the baby weight in a matter of months.

Yep. Should’ve listened to Adam.

Erin and Sophia both look at me with murder in their eyes, scream and yell, while telling me it’s my fault and that Erin should cut off my balls and feed them to the birds. Adam laughs in the corner, and suddenly I feel pretty small so I keep quiet the rest of the morning and keep telling myself this isn’t Erin, it’s the hormones.

It’s a little before noon and Erin’s sleeping on the couch. Watching her sleep is one of my favorite things to do. Being home feels good, especially coming home to my girl. Erin’s my first serious relationship
, and I want her to be my last. Being with her makes my life better, and I want to make sure that she knows that. She’s more than my fiancée or the mother of our child, she’s the love of my life, and I vow to make sure she never forgets that. Every time I see her, I fall in love all over. I’m not sure where my life would be if I had never met her. Sitting down next to her, I stroke her cheek and hear her mumbling in her sleep. I lean down and kiss the top of her head. “Sleep well, baby.”

I start cleaning and organizing the kitchen. I lean against the counter, cross my arms against my chest and watch Erin
sleep. I turn my back to her to finish the dishes when I hear her talking to our baby.

“Do you know how happy I am to have you growing in me?
Your daddy and I love you so much, sweetheart.”

Listening to her talk to our baby makes me smile. She’s going to be a great mom
, and we’re going to give our baby everything.

When I
am done with the dishes, I head over to the living room and sit down beside her. She leans on me, and her breathing steadies. “Tell me a story.”

Stroking her hair, I know what story she wants to hear. “One night the lonely boy meets the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. She takes him by surprise and helps him out of his shy shell. They go out for sushi with their friends and later that night, they spend all night talking. The beautiful girl is actually really shy and scared of her life. She thinks she has to be a certain way but the lonely boy leans in to kiss her and tells her she doesn’t need to be that way with him. They share their first kiss and after that night, the lonely boy isn’t lonely anymore. The beautiful girl changed his world and now they’re engaged and expecting a baby.”

Erin holds onto my polo and softly cries. “Our story.”

“The best one yet.”

We both sit quietly in the living room listening to our hearts beating and thinking about our future. We have an appointment soon, and I know Erin can’t wait to know for sure about her pregnancy.

* * * * *

We’re holding hands in the exam room, waiting for the doctor to come back in. Erin’s feeling better and has a bright smile on her face. Her mood is back to her happy self and the doubt disappears. Doctor Benson comes back in the room, with a smile on her face.

“Congratulations
, you two. Erin, you are definitely pregnant.”

I bring her in my arms
, and we both start laughing. “Thanks, doc.” I kiss Erin’s forehead. “I love you so much.”

“I love you
, too.”

"From your blood work it looks like you're about ten weeks pregnant." Doctor Benson looks up and smiles at us, "Everything looks great, Erin." Erin squeezes my hand and we listen to her tell us some more information
, and she reminds us to schedule our next appointment.

A smile flutters my face and there’s a mix of fear and happiness. This child is going to be the best thing to happen to Erin and
me. I think about everything that comes with having a baby. I don’t care if we have a boy or a girl. As long as our baby is healthy, life’s going to be great. I touch her cheek, so soft to my touch. Doctor Benson gives us a list of things to watch out for and what to do.

Erin gets off the exam table, looking as beautiful as ever. The heavenly smile makes me weak
in my knees. I’m turned on watching my girl and seeing how happy she is, carrying our baby. I run my hand down her back and feel her beautiful ass.

“Stop!” She giggles. “I have to get ready.”

I bring my lips to her ear and kiss the sensitive spot she loves. Her body melts into mine as I run my fingers along her belly. “Can’t wait to get you home and feel your wetness.” My lips kiss her neck and bring her closer to my body. “You are so sexy right now, do you know that?” She shakes her head. “I want to be inside you and feel how wet I make you.” Erin’s body shudders, and I love making her feel this way. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“I hate you so much,” she seethes.

* * * * *

I have chicken in the pan-frying and vegetables steaming. I look over and see Erin on the couch watching a movie. “Babe, do you need anything?”

“No, I’m okay.” She continues to watch her movie and ignore me.

“What movie are you watching now?” I ask, leaning against the wall.

“Safe Haven.” I walk over to her, start kissing her neck and massaging her thigh. “Connor,” she whimpers.

“Hmmm?”

Erin shakes her head and pushes me away. “Stop! Hello! Josh is on TV right now!”

Stepping away with a hurt expression on my face, “I see how it is.” I go back to cooking while Erin sits on the couch laughing at me. Her laugh fills the entire living room and kitchen. Damn, I love her.

I set the kitchen table and put out our dinner. Looking over, Erin’s wiping her tears and completely ignoring me.

“Movie done, babe?” She nods, blowing her nose and letting out a sigh. I walk over to her and pick up my beautiful girl. She throws her head back and laughs.

I set her down, and she kisses me gently on my cheek. “Thanks for making dinner tonight. It looks so good.”

We both sit down
, and I pour sweet tea in a glass for her and twist off the cap from my beer. Erin tells me more about her job, and the excitement on her face tells me how happy she is. I’m proud of her and am glad she’s happy.

After dinner, we clean the kitchen and head upstairs. Erin starts yawning as she changes into my shirt. Damn, she looks so good. I slowly walk over to her and she raises an
eyebrow, looking at me with her sexy blue eyes.

“What are you thinking, Mr. Simpson?”

I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her up, pushing her up against the wall by our bed. She wraps her legs around me as our lips meet. I spin around and lay her down on her back. My hand graces her stomach, ever so gently, finally reaching her sweet spot, moist and wet. “Always so ready for me,” I say, never taking my eyes off her. I slide in two fingers. “Keep your eyes open, babe. I want to see you come apart. I want to hear you scream my name”