Authors: Hailey Abbott
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Love & Romance, #Social Issues, #Friendship, #Dating & Sex
Ella eyed her reflection in the passenger side mirror one more time, frowned, and then folded the mirror back up.
“I’m serious,” she told her sister. “I think my pores are getting bigger, like, as we drive.”
“Because that’s scientifically possible,” Kelsi said mockingly, keeping her eyes on the road. “Your pores are exactly the same size as they were when we left, El. I promise.”
Ella rolled her eyes and slumped back into her seat. Like Kelsi knew anything about pores.
It was high time for them to hurry up and get to Pebble Beach, already. The Tuttle sisters had left New Canaan, Connecticut, at the butt-crack of dawn, and Ella had the puffy bags under her eyes to prove it. She’d gone to bed at her usual late hour, and was so not a morning person. So far, the ride had been nothing but boring highway, mile after mile. At least they were on the Maine state road now, the one that wandered in
and out of the beach towns along the coast and ended up in Pebble Beach. The scenery had vastly improved. There were hills and trees and creeks—much, much prettier than rest stops.
Ella couldn’t wait for summer to start, which, in her opinion, would not officially occur until she placed her feet in the grass outside her family’s cottage. Their dad was already up there, so all she and Kelsi had to do was unpack their clothes and settle back in.
“You drive like a little old lady,” she said to Kelsi, just to be obnoxious.
Kelsi shook her head, and turned up the volume on the CD player, deafening Ella’s ears with Dar Williams.
Ella regarded her sister for a moment. The Kelsi singing along to some estrogen anthem barely resembled the sobbing mess of a girl who, last summer, had discovered that her extremely hot boyfriend had cheated on her. Kelsi seemed tougher. Braver. In fact, Ella noticed that these days, Kelsi looked like the sort of girl who might go homicidal if she had any idea that the girl Peter had cheated on her with had been…her own sister.
Which is why Ella prayed every night to any supreme being who would listen that Kelsi would never, ever find out.
Ella shook her head and tried to think about something else, but for some reason, she couldn’t stop dwelling on her new and improved big sis. As soon as they’d returned to New Canaan at the end of last summer, Kelsi had shocked everyone by dying her natural blonde hair to a dark glossy brown à la
Ashlee Simpson, a decision she’d made without consulting Ella. Ella didn’t think Kelsi was qualified to make drastic leaps in fashion, mainly because Kelsi had spent her entire life as Ms. Crunchy: She never wore makeup, doused herself in patchouli oil, and complied with all the other ugly rules of hippiedom. Ella had always figured Kelsi just liked to be ignored. Why else would she deliberately make herself look so plain—just so she could be one with the environment or whatever?
But now, things were different. It wasn’t like Kelsi had tossed her patchouli oil into the trash—despite Ella’s best efforts—but Kelsi’s vibe had changed quite a bit. Instead of constantly chiding Ella about recycling, she was now more up for a laugh or some celebrity gossip. Today, she was wearing cutoffs and one of those cute vintage baby tees with MORE TREES, LESS BUSH written on the front. She was the superconfident, “I’m not going to take your shit anymore” Kelsi, and Ella was still getting used to her.
Ella shifted her attention to the road again, and sat up straight when she realized they were
finally
entering town. Pebble Beach.
“We’re here!” she cried, and gave a little whoop of joy.
Then she grinned at Kelsi, and they both rolled down their windows to let sunshine and the smell of the ocean rush inside and fill the car.
Ella leaned out the window as Kelsi weaved through the slow pace of traffic. Ella noticed a few new shops along the main thoroughfare, but, far more important, new guys.
Brand-new summer boys in all their tanned and shirtless glory. They were practically lined up and down the street for her to gawk at, she thought. Like Pebble Beach was one big eye-candy store.
“Drool much?” Kelsi teased, apparently noticing Ella’s appreciation of the long-limbed blond guy who ambled in front of the car at a stop sign.
“I never drool,” Ella replied, smiling. “I just…admire.”
And admire she did. There were boys everywhere, jostling one another on the sidewalks and slouching off toward the beach. Ella wanted to eat every last one of them up.
“Really?” Kelsi sounded amused. “Didn’t you make some sort of vow when we got into the car this morning? Something about you swearing off guys this summer?”
Ella winced at the mere mention of that. Why did Kelsi have to be so damn attentive?
“Oh, right,” she said. “Of course I’m sticking to that vow. But, hello, I’m not
blind.
”
As Kelsi laughed, Ella reminded herself that this summer, she was on a high self-esteem, low hook-up diet. She wasn’t going to indulge in messing around with random members of the male species, no matter how seemingly delicious. She was the new, improved Ella, who was only going to commit to
one
guy. One relationship. Love and trust and blah blah blah. There would be no more of Ella’s patented flirting or her treating boys like the one-use towels you get at the public pool.
“Well, El, since you’re on sabbatical, that leaves a whole lot
more guys for the rest of us,” Kelsi said with another laugh as she turned from the main road onto the little dirt track that led to the cottages.
Ella felt a little chill race through her as the car bumped along the dirt, but she shook it off. So what if Kelsi wanted to mix it up with some hottie? That was what summer was for. And Kelsi deserved to relax, have fun, and rake in the admirers. She’d gotten her heart broken last summer, after all.
And so had Ella, but the difference was Ella’s heart wound was self-inflicted. She’d pretty much known Peter was a creep, and she’d still gone after him.
Ella had discovered that when you do something hideous and no one else knows about it, you had only yourself for comfort. It was a lonely way to live. Then again, Ella had herself to blame for being in that position, and there wasn’t any use dwelling on it now, especially when an entire new summer was ahead of her.
Kelsi pulled up in front of the cottage their family rented every summer, and they both climbed out of the car. Ella treated herself to a nice long stretch, and gazed around at the familiar sights. The tall pine trees ringed the lawn, with the cottages nestled into place at their roots. The beach was just beyond the dunes. The Maine sun was at its best up above, showering everything with light and warmth.
Last summer was in the past, Ella kept telling herself. Over. She was a different person now—a better one, and a better sister, too.
“This is going to be the best summer yet. I can feel it,”
Kelsi said, coming around the car and grinning at Ella. She slung an arm around Ella’s shoulders and squeezed her. “Aren’t you excited?”
“I can’t wait,” Ella said with her best smile, and in that moment, she decided to be just as excited as she sounded.
“We’re leaving without you!”
Ella’s voice floated over from the yard on the evening air. Kelsi was in her room; she knew her sister and Beth were waiting for her to finish dressing for the first party of the summer. She had already discarded just about every top she’d brought with her, and was halfway through a repeat cycle.
The thing was, she felt strange. The not-being-comfortable-in-your-own-skin kind of strange. Every minute that went by, Kelsi became a little bit more anxious and nervous. She had no idea
what
was making her feel like her legs were made out of lo mein noodles, but whatever
it
was, she just wanted it to take a hike so that she could enjoy the start of another Pebble Beach summer.
After all, Kelsi had everything under control. She had just graduated from high school at the top of her class, and she was
headed to Smith in the fall. Kelsi should have been practically drunk on her own shining future. She had felt so
together
at graduation. Like she knew exactly who she was and where she was going.
Funny. Kelsi didn’t feel remotely that way at the moment.
“Kels! Come on!” This time it was Beth. Her cousin’s voice was less strident than Ella’s, but she still sounded impatient. Kelsi snuck a look out the window. The last streaks of the red sunset were fading from the sky, which meant the party down on the pier would just be getting underway.
Kelsi took a deep breath, and looked at her reflection in the mirror one more time.
She was just going to have to go with the deep V-necked black T-shirt and her favorite pair of jeans. Both were from Anthropologie, Kelsi’s absolutely most-favorite store in the world. The black push-up bra Ella had talked her into buying at Victoria’s Secret was working big-time, and Kelsi had to admit, she liked the result. Her newly re-dyed dark brown hair was pulled back in a sassy, casual ponytail that had taken at least forty minutes to perfect, and she slicked another coat of lip gloss across her lips.
Now, if she could just
feel
the way she
looked
…
“What are you doing in here?” Ella demanded, appearing in the door of the bedroom the two of them shared. She leaned against the doorjamb and snapped her gum a few times, a habit that drove Kelsi absolutely crazy. Luckily, at the moment, she was too wound up to get sufficiently agitated.
“I’m ready,” Kelsi said, grinning at her baby sister as if she’d never been more at ease. She made for the door, but stopped when she saw Ella glance at the pile of rejected shirts that now covered her bedspread and half of Ella’s.
“You had a fashion emergency and you didn’t call me?” Ella put a hand over her heart. “I think my feelings are hurt.”
“I was having a bad-me day.” Kelsi gave a wry grin.
“Puh-leeze, you look fantastic. Better than me, even,” Ella said through her trademark snort of a laugh.
Without a moment to lose, Kelsi and Ella dashed out to the yard, where Beth was standing with her arms wrapped around herself, staring up at the sky.
“I always forget how clear it is up here,” she said. “The night looks almost…messy with all those stars, doesn’t it?”
Kelsi tipped her head back, breathing in the clean air and the ever-present scent of the evergreens. Beth was right. Up above the pines, the sky was littered with stars she never got to see in New Canaan. She had a second to remind herself about all the possibilities that were awaiting her, but then it was time to move.
The girls began walking down the dirt road that led from the Tuttles’ three rental cottages to Pebble Beach’s main strip. The trees towered over the narrow track, and grass clung to the little cliff between the tire ruts and the forest.
“As you can see, Beth dressed for the occasion,” Ella told Kelsi, a teasing lilt in her voice.
Kelsi glanced at Beth. Her cousin was wearing track pants and a blue scoop-necked tee. Her long blonde hair—so different from Ella’s sexy mane—fell straight down her back.
“What?” Beth asked, opening her arms wide and looking down at herself. “I put on a clean shirt.”
Kelsi adored the fact that Beth saw no reason to put on makeup or a cute outfit for parties. Clearly, having a boyfriend hadn’t changed Beth that much.
“And if you feel like it, you can just go for a quick jog between beers,” Ella said, shooting her cousin a sideways look with her heavily mascaraed eyes.
“My Jimmy Choos don’t go with this outfit,” Beth told Ella, bouncing up on the toes of her sneakers. “Anyway, I’ll leave the fabulousness to you and your tiny dress.” She looked back at Kelsi. “And you, with the lip stuff. What’s with that?”
“It adds moisture.” Kelsi shrugged. Last year, Kelsi’s idea of dressing up was adding the occasional bandanna to her ensemble. Lip gloss was never in her repertoire. “I’m still a vegetarian, if that makes you feel better.”
“Everything about this summer is weird,” Beth grumbled.
“Tell us about your year, Bethy,” Ella commanded. “How is
George
? I want juicy boyfriend details. Have you guys done it, or what?”
“Ella!” Beth squealed, but it sounded like she was only pretending to be scandalized. “How is that your business?”
Kelsi trailed slightly behind them while Beth talked. She tilted her head back a little bit to bask in the surrounding night. She loved Pebble Beach. She loved the dirt roads washed with sand, and the stretch of cold sea in the distance. Boats bobbed on their moorings, the clank of lines against the masts announcing their presence in the dark. As she turned
left toward town, the bright white lights of the pier danced ahead, beckoning her into another summer.
Kelsi couldn’t contain the slight tremor of apprehension that went through her. There would be people everywhere and a band playing onstage—she could hear the thump of the bass even from this far away. It was like déjà vu, but she fervently hoped that the band wouldn’t include Peter, her asshole of an ex.
What bothered Kelsi (maybe more than it should) was that she’d never had a
real
boyfriend. Listening to Beth ramble on about her relationship just made it achingly obvious to Kelsi that there was something wrong with her. She had such shitty luck with guys. Kelsi had been so sure Peter was this charming, cool rocker, but he had turned out to be a liar and a cheat. Before Peter, she’d spent three months dating Brian before he’d gone off to college. He’d broken up with her because she hadn’t been ready to sleep with him. Two guys—and both of them were losers.
What a track record, indeed.
The truth of the matter was, Kelsi was eighteen years old, still a virgin, and her younger cousin seemed a lot more adept than her at picking out a really good guy. Not to mention her sister, who got boys as easily as she breathed. Kelsi was starting to think she was destined to spend the rest of her life as a celibate dickhead magnet.
“What’s wrong with you now?” Ella’s exasperated voice floated back to Kelsi through the dark. “Are you up for this party or not?”
“I’m looking at the stars,” Kelsi replied. She looked up
again. The stars crowded the sky, so many lights that it almost made Kelsi dizzy.
Kelsi took another deep breath, and released it back into the crisp night. There was sand on her toes and salt in her hair. A new summer waited just ahead. Now she just had to catch up to it.