Authors: Sue Welfare
‘And say what?’ Sarah could see she had his full attention.
‘That I found it in the garden. Ryan.’ She paused. ‘But this is the last time I’m going to lie for you. I can’t cover up for you if you break the law, do you understand? This has got to stop. I don’t care what you tell me. You need to turn your life around, get a grip – sort it out, before it’s too late.’
He slammed his fist down on the table, the shock of the blow making Sarah jump as cups and bottles tumbled over, a glass crashing to the floor. And then he looked up at Sarah, his face a mask. ‘For god’s sake, I already told you that I didn’t do it, didn’t I? What does it take to make you believe me? Some of this is Mum’s stuff. I just said I wouldn’t take Mum’s stuff, surely you ought to know that?’
Sarah said nothing. She wanted to believe him but the problem was that Ryan lied to her all the time. She gathered the jewellery back up into the tee shirt and rolled it up; the truth was, however much he protested, however much she hated it, Sarah didn’t believe a word he had said.
‘I promise you it wasn’t me,’ Ryan said as she was leaving. ‘I’ll show you. I will.’
Sarah nodded and went back upstairs. She had heard it all before.
Sarah
‘You say that you’d heard it all before, Sarah? What do you mean?’
‘When Ryan was, I don’t know, nine maybe, he got caught shoplifting in the local newsagents. Mr Patel, the man who owned the shop, rang my mum up. He knew my dad was sick and he didn’t want to involve the police if possible or upset my mum any more than necessary. At the time I think we were all stunned, but it kind of made sense of lots of things that had been happening at home at around the same time, money had been going missing, my pens and things, some of my mum’s oddments – just knick-knacks mostly, ornaments, costume jewellery. The thing was that Dad was really ill and it was only a matter of time. Maybe by then he’d just got a couple of months left, I can’t remember exactly, but I remember he was at home, downstairs in the front room of our old house, and there was Mum nursing him, up all hours of the night, sorting every out, trying to keep it all together. Mr Patel didn’t press charges because he knew Mum and Dad. Mum said she thought it was Ryan’s way of dealing with the stress. His reaction to Dad being ill and the centre of attention; and that he was attention seeking, finding a way to make people take notice of him.’
‘It was a long time ago.’
‘But it wasn’t the only time. When Mum was first diagnosed with cancer, Ryan and a couple of his mates stole a car. Stupid. I wanted to kill him. We’d got enough on our plates without anything else happening, and there he was off joy riding.’
‘So you had good reason to suspect that Ryan may have taken the jewellery from Anna’s room? You didn’t have a problem with believing that it was Ryan?’
‘I didn’t say I didn’t have a problem with it. I hated it. He’s an adult now, not a child anymore. He’s got no excuse for it. I didn’t want to believe it; I didn’t want him to be a thief and a liar. I felt like he had betrayed me, betrayed us.’
‘But you took the jewellery back?’
‘Yes. The next day on my way home from work. I told Anna that I’d found it in the garden shed; I told her about my mum’s stuff being in there too. I could see that she didn’t believe me, but you could see that she was glad to get her things back.’
‘Okay, and was this around the time that you first met Josh Phillips?’
‘Yes, I was working at the nursery, with my friend, Anessa. We were sorting out a delivery of plants when he came in. I can’t remember what he wanted now. He just sort of stopped and looked at me and then he grinned, and Anessa pointed at him and said, ‘I think you’ve got an admirer.’
‘You’re smiling, Sarah.’
‘I know. I’m sorry, I can’t help it. It felt like rain after a long drought. Josh was a breath of fresh air. I laughed and said maybe he was looking at her, and she said, “No way”. And then he came over and we just started talking. It just seemed so easy. I can’t remember what we talked about now, exactly, and then he told me he was a garden designer, and Anessa said she would leave me to help him – at which point I told him I was rubbish with plants. I think he thought I was joking.’
‘And he asked you out?’
‘Kind of. I’d only gone in for a half day to help Anessa with the delivery so he said he’d come back when I was finished and take me out for lunch. I said I’d cycled in, so he put my bike in the back of his truck.’
‘And you just went with him?’
‘I know, I suppose it was crazy but yes, it felt okay. It felt good. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at me.’
‘I find that hard to believe, Sarah.’
‘Okay, maybe it was a long time since I’d looked at anyone.’
‘But you looked at Josh Phillips?’
‘Yes I did. I really did.’
‘God, this is so nice. What did you say it was again?’
Josh grinned. ‘I’ve got no idea. Some sort of goulash, I think. You have to take potluck here. It’s always the same. They do three starters, three main courses and three desserts.’
Sarah spooned the last chunk of meat into her mouth. ‘The same three things?’
‘No, always seasonal. And the food’s always been really good every time I’ve been in. I eat here a lot. ’
‘I can see why,’ she said, tearing a hunk of bread from the newly baked loaf the waitress had set down in the middle of their table.
They’d taken the window seat in a little café in an alleyway a stone’s throw from the market square. The cafe was squeezed in between an upmarket dress shop and a place selling second hand books. It was long and narrow and set with bench tables, and it was busy. Most of the tables were full, full with people sharing with strangers, tucked in elbow to elbow. At the table next to them a group of Chinese tourists were busy taking pictures of each other.
Josh smiled and, leaning in closer, wiped something from her chin. ‘There we go,’ he said. ‘That’s better.’
‘Gravy?’
He nodded.
Sarah blushed. His touch made her feel hot, and she giggled. ‘Thank you. Sorry, I was ravenous.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he said. ‘Do you live locally?’
‘Not that far away, in Maudsley Terrace. It’s just off Victoria Road. Other side of the river to Jesus Green?’
Josh nodded and mopped up the last of the juices from his own bowl. ‘I think I know where you mean. To be honest I’m just getting my bearings.’ He glanced up at the day’s special, written on a blackboard above the counter. ‘Do you fancy a dessert?’
She nodded. ‘Sounds like a good idea.’
They ate treacle tart and drank coffee, talking and laughing while the other diners moved around them almost unnoticed.
‘So where do you live?’ Sarah asked, spooning the froth from the coffee into her mouth.
‘I’m renting a cottage in Cottenham at the moment. It’s nice, small. A mate of mine, Andy, runs a landscaping and garden design business, and he asked if I wanted to go in with him.’
‘And are you going to go in with him?’
‘Yes, or at least I’m seriously thinking about it. At the moment he’s got more work than he can handle. I’m giving it a year. See how we get on working together. I’m already bringing in work – so we’ll see. So far, so good. I’m enjoying it.’
‘We’ll be seeing a lot more of you then?’ Sarah said, conversationally.
Josh smiled and leaned in close, holding her gaze. ‘I hope so.’
Sarah felt her colour rising. ‘I meant at the nursery.’
Josh grinned. ‘Oh right, yeah. And there too.’
Their plates were empty, their coffee finished, but it didn’t seem like either of them wanted to leave.
‘I really ought to be going,’ said Sarah finally, pulling her purse out of her handbag.
‘My treat,’ he said, taking out his wallet.
When she began to protest, he said, ‘Don’t worry, you can get it next time.’
Sarah grinned. ‘So, there’s going to be a next time, is there?’
‘I hope so.’
‘Okay, you’re on,’ she said.
Reluctantly, Josh got to his feet. ‘I’m going to go and look at a garden this afternoon. I know it’s a bit of a busman’s holiday but don’t suppose I can persuade you to tag along, can I? Dry shade; I’d really value your opinion on the planting.’
‘I’m not sure.’ Sarah was hesitant, not wanting to seem too eager.
‘It’s also only about a five minute drive from here.’
‘I already told you I’m genuinely rubbish at gardening.’
He grinned. ‘I can’t say I haven’t been warned then, can I?’ He held out a hand to help her off the bench and she took it, enjoying the sensation of her hand in his.
Sarah
‘So am I right in thinking that you re-advertised the second room, the room that Anna had rented, at around the same time as you first met Josh Phillips?’
‘Yes. I think so. More or less.’
‘And how did you advertise the room?’
‘On Gumtree and a couple of other websites. I’m not great with computers but I’ve got a laptop. I didn’t think we’d have a lot of trouble letting it again. We’d had lots of interest first time round and I couldn’t be sure that Ryan would stick to what he’d said about not subbing off Woody. I wanted to be sure that there was regular money coming in.’
‘Okay. And what about Ryan? How did he react when you said you were trying to find someone else to take the second room?’
‘When I tried to talk to him about it he said that I didn’t have to do it. He told me that he would sort things out, and that he was going for an interview for a proper job; that he would show me that he could be the man. That he wanted to sort stuff out – turn things around.’
‘And that’s what he said, “Be the man”. I’m not sure I understand?’
‘It’s what my mum used to say to him after Dad died, when he started to kick off or there was something important that she wanted him to be good for. “You have to be the man now, Ryan”. I think she was hoping that it would make him feel important, make him toe the line.’
‘Right, okay, and so when he said that to you, you assumed Ryan meant what exactly, Sarah?’
‘That he would step up, get himself a regular job. He’d done it before when Mum was in hospital. At least eventually he did when Mum had a word with him. I thought that maybe the thing with the jewellery had shaken him up. Being caught more or less red-handed.’
‘And so did it?’
‘It seemed to, at least to begin with. He started paying money towards the bills regularly, not always his full share, but most of it. He seemed different. He was working most weeks. And he cleaned himself up.’
‘And so did you have any takers for the second room?’
‘A couple of people came round, but then Ryan came in one afternoon and told me that he’d got this project sorted out – some sort of big contract – and that we’d be all right, that we wouldn’t have to let the other room.’
‘And you believed him?’
‘Not really but he kept on about me needing to learn to trust him. To let him prove himself.’
‘So you gave in over renting the room?’
‘Reluctantly. I suppose I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, even then. Although I did try to persuade him that it would be much easier for both of us if we had another lodger – it would take the pressure off – but he was adamant. He said he hated having strangers living in the house. But I wasn’t so sure. He’d had a couple of regular jobs over the years but they’d never lasted that long, although this sounded more promising, like he was working with people he’d worked with before.’
‘Do you know who they were?’
‘No. He didn’t say. He was defensive – said he didn’t want me jinxing it for him. And to be fair I’d been really hard on him in the past.’
‘Seems to me justifiably so. But you wanted to believe him this time?’
‘Yes, like I said I was hoping that maybe that thing with the jewellery had shaken him up. And Ryan was different, more confident, more like the person he had been before Mum died, and then he bought a van. It was nothing special but it seemed like a turning point.’
‘Did you ask him where he got the money for the van?’
‘He told me that he’d picked up a decent cash job.’
‘And you believed him, did you, Sarah?’
‘Honestly?’
‘Honestly.’
‘No, at least I wasn’t sure what the truth was, but I decided not to ask him, in case – I don’t know – I suppose it was all going so well. I didn’t want to upset him and I didn’t want to know if it wasn’t. And even though he can be an idiot, Ryan could be really clever when he wanted to be, and he was an adult even if sometimes he doesn’t behave like one.’
‘Okay, and so then what happened?’
‘I tried to persuade him that we should take another lodger in anyway. I know he didn’t want to do it but it would mean for the first time in god knows how long that we’d have some spare money, but Ryan said no. He was adamant. He liked it as it was with just me and him and Woody, and in the end, to be honest, I just couldn’t be bothered to argue. Life settled down.’
‘When you say settled down, Sarah, what do you mean by that exactly?’
‘Ryan was going to work every day. I started to see Josh regularly.’
‘And was Ryan okay about that?’
‘Yes, I think so. I didn’t really ask him. And my friends at work were really pleased. Anessa was over the moon. She was always trying to fix me up with people. I’d been on my own a long while.’
‘And Woody?’
‘What about him?’
‘Did Woody seem jealous or upset that you’d started seeing someone else?’
‘No, not at all. Why should he? He was my lodger not my boyfriend and I didn’t really see Woody that much. He was mostly out or upstairs in his room, or at college.’
‘And did he have friends. Bring anyone home?’
‘No. Never. Not that I’m aware of.’
‘Did you think that was odd?’
‘Not really. I mean I assumed he had friends on his course but he kept himself to himself most of the time. He was quiet, didn’t say very much. He didn’t strike me as very outgoing.’
‘Okay, and did you?’
‘Bring friends home? Sometimes, Anessa came round once in a while, but to be honest I work all sorts of odd hours and I’ve never been someone who has had a lot of friends. My dad being ill meant I was different from other kids and I didn’t bring people home because Mum had enough on her plate. Then, after we moved, I didn’t really get to know anyone; I went to college, and then Mum was sick, and I had to come home. It was always disjointed, I hadn’t got a lot of time for a social life. Most of my friends were from work.’
‘So you were lonely?’
‘No, not really, I’m used to being on my own.’
‘But you were seeing Josh?’
‘That’s right, and it felt really good. Things had finally started to come right. Things were settling down into a nice routine. Like I said, Ryan was working regularly.’
‘And what about Woody?’
‘I just said. He went to college; I hardly saw anything of him. In lots of ways he was the perfect lodger. And I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about what it was like in the house then. It wasn’t all doom and gloom. I felt like we’d finally turned the corner. It felt good. We were talking about having a party. If we were all in the house at the same time we’d eat together, share the cooking, watch a film on TV together. Like a family.’
‘Okay and then what happened?’
‘Josh offered to help me clear the garden up. We were planning to take the shed down and build a terrace with some slabs that someone had asked him to get rid of. So we could have somewhere to sit, and stand a barbeque. He’d got the truck and the tools. I was hoping Ryan might give us a hand too.’
‘Okay.’
‘Anyway, Josh and I made a start and took the roof off the shed – we put all the debris, the corrugated roof and things we couldn’t burn, into his truck. And then he handed me out some bin bags, but nothing that I remembered putting in there – they were full of all kinds of stuff.’
‘When you say stuff? What sort of things do you mean?’
‘Letters, clothes, old books.’
‘And they weren’t yours or Ryan’s?’
‘No.’
‘And there were letters?’
‘Some, quite a lot to Mustafa – Woody – and some others too, mostly official looking government documents which were addressed to someone called Farouk Holbein. And they were all addressed to Woody's old address.’
‘The Kirby Road address?’
‘Yes.’
‘And were there many of these letters?’
‘Quite a lot.’
‘How many is quite a lot, Sarah?’
‘I’m not sure now. Some were junk mail. But there were at least a couple of dozen, maybe more for Woody, maybe half that for Farouk. Some of them were official looking and I was worried that they were important and that Woody didn’t realise. I knew he had been getting rid of things because I’d seen him out in the garden burning rubbish in the brazier.’
‘Did you ask Woody about the bags and the letters?’
‘Yes, when he came in that night. I’d cooked for everyone. I’d made a curry, and I’d saved all the letters and put them in the kitchen just in case he wanted them, or they were something important.’
‘Did Woody know that you were planning to take the shed down?’
‘No, I don’t think so. I mean we hadn’t deliberately kept it from him I just can’t remembering telling him directly. I suppose I assumed that he must have heard us talking about building a terrace.’
‘So what did he say?’
‘About the letters? Nothing much. He said they were just rubbish, that he kept getting the same letters over and over again from University and from various government agencies, and he’d already answered all their questions, sometimes more than once and that he had been told to ignore them.’